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Does this snake’s mouth that looks like a vulva mean that women are sneaky snaky deceivers?

Eve and the Grapefruit of Temptation

By David Futrelle

So here’s a strange little screenshot that’s made the rounds online offering, well, a rather curious interpretation of the story of Adan and Eve and that sneaky, sneaky snake.

Anybody ever wonder why the inside of a woman's vagina resembles the inside of a snakes mouth almost identically.... it was a snake that caused a woman to deceive man in the beginning. Now her body parts that resembles that snakes mouth decieve men now ...... #thinkoutsidethebox

Think outside the box indeed!

But if the fact that a snake’s mouth looking sort of like a vulva means that women themselves are sneaky snakes, then what should we male of all these other things that also look sort of like a vulva?

Like this tangerine?

This piece of toast?

This jar of peanut butter?

This Georgia O’Keefe painting?

This hairdo?

This grapefruit?

This extremely slutty tree?

Or — and I’m sorry I have to expose you to this — Donald Trump’s neck wattle?

Does this mean that women are peanut-buttery-tangerine-flake-toasty-grapefruit-Trumpian-neck-wattle-hairdo-paintings that live in the forest?

Because if so I may need to totally rethink this blog.

H/T — r/badwomensanatomy, where I found the original screenshot

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Miri Rabinowitz
Miri Rabinowitz
11 months ago

In answer to your title, yes. Yes we are.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

What about this coconut?comment image
The story behind it is rather funny. The coco de mer is indigenous to the Seychelles. When European explorers went to the Seychelles in the mid-1700s, they discovered the tree on which the coco de mer grows and believed that, due to its resemblance of a crotch and thighs, it must be the fruit of knowledge from the Bible and that therefore the Seychelles must be the Garden of Eden.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
11 months ago

I am going to be extremely nitpicky and say that I don’t think the fruit in the very top picture could be a grapefruit – as far as I remember, pink grapefruits are a 20th-century invention. Maybe some kind of orange?
(Or maybe I’m remembering this wrong, but I do have a recollection of reading about pink grapefruits being first introduced in one of the World Fairs. I’ll look it up later, feeling a bit too tired and lazy right now.)

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
11 months ago

Ohhhh it’s a photoshop. Sorry, didn’t realise that. I should go to sleep.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
11 months ago

And the entire snake looks like a penis, so are penises supposed to symbolize gullibility or something?

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

That last one is unforgivable, Mr Futrelle. Seriously considering cancelling my monthly donation.

(jk, just in case it wasn’t obvious – but only about the donation)

kupo
kupo
11 months ago

The correct term is vagina.

Leliel
Leliel
11 months ago

Well, it’s not actually hard to get the full vulva open mouth treatment from a snake.

Just find one that hasn’t been exposed to this stupidity and explain it to them. You may develop a reputation as a complete idiot in ophidian circles too, however.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
11 months ago

I like the tree.

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
11 months ago

High Five, Buttercup Q. Skullpants!

CarrieV
CarrieV
11 months ago

Ummmm, “it was a snake that caused woman to deceive man in the beginning”?????????

What woman deceived what man exactly?

Also of note: God never, ever, ever told Eve not to eat from that tree of knowledge. He only told Adam. Adam didn’t have to eat that fruit. He had the choice to listen to GOD or to EVE. So why are we still bitching that the fall of alllll humanity is the fault of women when in fact it was ADAM who did the bad thing?

http://topfamousquotes.com/quotes/it-was-with-a-good-end-in-mind-%E2%80%93-that-392361/

dust bunny
dust bunny
11 months ago

@ CarrieV

Ooh, imagine how differently it could all have gone if Eve just kept the fruit to herself and built human civilisation inside the paradise. Sexy-simple-sweet is not my favoured type, but the world, I mean, paradise, would be so much better if that was the male role model passed on to sons of Adam.

Ariblester
11 months ago

CarrieV wrote on
October 10, 2019 at 9:45 pm:

Ummmm, “it was a snake that caused woman to deceive man in the beginning”?????????

What woman deceived what man exactly?

Also of note: God never, ever, ever told Eve not to eat from that tree of knowledge. He only told Adam. Adam didn’t have to eat that fruit. He had the choice to listen to GOD or to EVE. So why are we still bitching that the fall of alllll humanity is the fault of women when in fact it was ADAM who did the bad thing?

http://topfamousquotes.com/quotes/it-was-with-a-good-end-in-mind-%E2%80%93-that-392361/

Because Paul, unfortunately. 1 Timothy 2:13-14.

Pie
Pie
11 months ago

@kupo

The correct term is vagina.

The master linguist who pointed this out to us waaay back in february is still working on the matter. I thought I’d go back and remind myself of the event, and following the google docs link from his tweeter brought me to the goddamn Sept. 14, 2019 version.

I don’t think I never really appreciated the confidence of a mediocre white man until now.

gijoel
gijoel
11 months ago

Ha, reminds me of a Buddy Hackett joke

https://youtu.be/HWM8CR5WNP8

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Pie

The master linguist who pointed this out to us waaay back in february is still working on the matter.

That’s dedication, for sure. Does he not have better things to do? I don’t feel like reading through his many pages of mansplaining, so I’m not going to read it, it in a way I’m a bit impressed he’s put this much effort into this thing. Most trolls are not this dedicated.

Keated
Keated
11 months ago

I’m pretty sure the Georgia O’Keefe painting is 100% intentional…

kupo
kupo
11 months ago

@Pie
Now that’s just beyond pathetic. Dude cannot accept he was wrong about something.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 months ago

@kupo

The correct term is vagina.

Haha! I nearly spit out my tea when I read this.

Curious_Diversions
Curious_Diversions
11 months ago

It’s clearly snakes, all the way down.

Fruit = snakes
Toast = snakes
Peanut butter = snakes
G O’K Paintings = snakes
Hair = snakes
Trees = snakes
Donald Trump = snakes
Vulvas = snakes

They all clearly exist to make fools of men. Men are clearly the center of the universe.

@ Kupo – V. Nice!

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
11 months ago

Is the header image by Lucas Cranach the Elder? It kind of looks like his work but it doesn’t match any of the Adam & Eve pictures by him than an image search turns up.

Eve clearly overjoyed at being snakesplained:

comment image

“And on the eighth day, Adam invented the blockchain”:

http://lucascranach.org/thumbnails/DE_smbGG_566_FR198C/06_Detail/DE_smbGG_566_FR198C_2010-01_Detail-003.jpg

Satan tries negging:

http://blogs.smartrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/eve-crop-e1534894257866.jpg

Adam always looks not the sharpest tool in the shed in any of Cranach’s paintings:

comment image

(Morty voice) “G-Gee, I don’t know, Rick Eve, he did seem pretty clear on the whole not eating of the tree thing…”

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
11 months ago

Ooh, look at this one: it’s got hermaphrodite naga-Satan and even the unhappy pair getting chased out by a really pissed looking sword wielding angel!

http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/files/2015/06/From-Lucas_Cranach_the_Elder-The_Garden_of_Eden.jpg

“G’wan, be off with yourselves! and if I see you around here again, someone’s getting smote!” 😂

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
11 months ago

Other stuff old Lucas liked to paint:

1) Old dudes with young wives:

comment image

comment image

Look! The gold-digging hussy is picking the old lad’s pocket! Disgraceful!

(He also did a couple of renditions of “Lot and his Daughters” too, because of course he did)

2) Any number of Judith and Holofernes/ Salome and St. John the Baptist pictures:

comment image

comment image

comment image

“Last time you say anything about my hat, dickwad”

3) Cross-dressing Heracles:

comment image

Crafty ol’ Lucas, passing off his femdom and cross-dressing kinks on his patrons, who think they’re getting a stern moralising image on the sinful nature of humankind… or they were there for the femdom & cross-dressing too 😂

Crip Dyke
11 months ago

I cannot get over the peanut butter.

That peanut butter is amazing.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
11 months ago

@Crip Dyke:

That peanut butter is amazing.

It reminded me of something your fellow blogger over at FtB, Marcus Ranum aka stderr, used to have on his old site: handmade soaps that were very anatomically accurate (his old site used frames so I can’t give a direct link but here is the Wayback Machine link to his old home page. The link is under “More Weird Projects”. Definitely heed the NSFW warning 😉)

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Cat Mara
I can only ask; how did he get soap molds shaped like the genitals of porn stars? Did he make them himself, or can you buy such things?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
11 months ago

@Naglfar: I have no idea, though IIRC some porn stars have brought out sex toys moulded after their genitals; I guess he could have used one of them to make a mould for the soap. Or maybe he took impressions from women friends or models who didn’t want their real names used, so he substituted the names of well-known porn stars…

QQIE
QQIE
11 months ago

I am going to be extremely nitpicky and say that I don’t think the fruit in the very top picture could be a grapefruit – as far as I remember, pink grapefruits are a 20th-century invention. Maybe some kind of orange?
(Or maybe I’m remembering this wrong, but I do have a recollection of reading about pink grapefruits being first introduced in one of the World Fairs. I’ll look it up later, feeling a bit too tired and lazy right now.)

It’s not a grapefruit at all. Grapefruit’s are crossed pomelos and sweet oranges and didn’t exist in the 17th and 18th centuries.

That appears to be a peeled blood orange, which originated in Italy as “Tarocco” in the renaissance period.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
11 months ago

@Cat Mara:
I looked at the 1st Eve & the snake picture you posted and thought “Eve looks like she’s thinking ‘Bitch, please, I will lob this indiscriminate piece of fruit at your head’.”

Would love to have read that in Genesis.