Categories
antifeminism butts evil sexy ladies fidelbogen men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW MRA playing the victim

I have discovered the world’s sexiest Men’s Rights underpants

Hands up! You’re under arrest for being TOO SEXY!

By David Futrelle

The lady haters on Reddit and elsewhere are reliably outraged every time they discover that some e-girl they’re probably secretly obsessed with is making money selling their used underwear online.

How unfair it is that women can rake in the big bucks for doing nothing more than wearing a pair of panties — yet there’s no demand for the slightly soiled boxers of dudes who spend their lives hanging out on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.

Dudes, maybe the problem isn’t that no one wants used dude underwear. Maybe it’s just that the underwear you want to sell isn’t sexy enough.

Well, problem solved, because I have discovered the WORLD’S SEXIST SEXIEST UNDERWEAR — combining the ball-swinging freedom of boxers with a Men’s Rights message!

Head on over to the Non Feminist store on Zazzle and pick up a pair (or ten) of these “Men’s Rights Are Human Rights” boxer beauts.

And yes, they’re also available in black!

Exquisite tailoring, even more exquisite graphic design. How can you — and all your future used-undies purchasers — go wrong?

And while you’re at the Non Feminist store, why not pick up this exciting refrigerator magnet with a slightly blurry quote from our old non-feminist friend Fidelbogen on it?


You could probably rub it on your butt and sell it, too!

BRB, starting a new business.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

99 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
1 year ago

I know I would feel particularly pwned if I was talking to an MRA and he was wearing that underwear, secretly having that message several feet from me.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

Men’s Rights ARE Human Rights… and are also NOT in any danger, except in the fantasies of the igno-right wing.

oops, before I post, I’d better add…

THE “RIGHT” TO PUBLICLY ABUSE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T LIKE YOU IS NOT A HUMAN RIGHT!!!

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

I’ve noticed, when I have a conversation about men’s “oppression” with an igno-right-wing man, they very often come back with (in a panic-stricken childish whiny voice) “it’s so bad… we’re so oppressed… we can’t even tell a joke anymore!!!

really!

somehow, on the list of absolute AGONY that today’s man has to deal with… the idea that it’s no longer socially acceptable to make jokes at another person’s expense… seems to top the list.

MJ
MJ
1 year ago

Although I find the whole used-panties thing off-putting, personally, I am unsurprised that these boys don’t understand enough about women’s bodies to grasp why it’s a thing… and why there’s no market for a guy’s tighty-whiteys with skid-marks.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Ah, Fidelbogen! Haven’t heard from him in some time. I wonder what he’s up to these days. Probably just internet shitposting, as usual.

@MJ
I don’t really get the hype around used panties either. I don’t mean to shame anyone who’s into them, and I get why people like them, but they’re a bit off putting to me as well.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

Yes, guys, it’s totally SEXISM that’s causing us not to buy your used underwear, for sure!!!

Gregory Lynn
Gregory Lynn
1 year ago

Quick question: Is that supposed to be a hand/bird holding a penis?

Prith kDar
Prith kDar
1 year ago

I was trying to determine if the penis was the bird’s neck or if it was in the whitespace of a frontal view and the blue was thick outlines. The latter left me wondering about the lines on the right though. Fingers? Cameltoe? Given their chronic ignorance about the mechanics of sex, the latter isn’t all that preposterous.

Daxter
Daxter
1 year ago

Somehow these guys have entirely overlooked the lucrative market for selling used men’s underpants to gay men. Mind you, I doubt they would be able to look hot enough for the lookist mentality that the market has. Plus they probably don’t realize that, unless you’re a famous porn star, you have to give more of yourself than just the underpants. You’re selling a fantasy of possibility that includes underpants, not just the underpants themselves.

Mind, there’s an awful lot they don’t realize…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I also wonder what happened to Fidelbogen. It’s been awhile. I guess the reactionary word salad market is so oversaturated these days that he’s not making an impact anymore.

ABars
ABars
1 year ago

While I don’t believe I’m either gay or asexual, I’ve never been able to understand the way so many other men are so obsessed with sex or some of the things they do with respect to it. Even as a male virgin in his mid-20s, I never minded my sexlessness that much and thought that both the PUA and incel subcultures were stupid. I couldn’t imagine structuring my entire identity/persona around either trying to obtain sex or my inability to obtain it. I didn’t need to have had sex to be able to predict that an orgasm procured through sex couldn’t possibly feel all that different from an orgasm procured through masturbation, or that another person’s skin couldn’t possibly feel all that different from my own skin. And when I eventually did end up having sex, I thought that it was the most overrated, underwhelming experience of my life. I was like: “That’s it? That’s seriously fucking it? This is what other men cry themselves to sleep at night or embark on shooting rampages over not being able to get? This is what the Abrahamic religions have spent 2,000 years trying to stop people from having? I’ve eaten meals at restaurants and seen episodes of television series which I enjoyed more, for fuck’s sake!”

I can’t imagine spending thousands of dollars on a pickup artistry boot camp when you could spend that same amount of money on an escort and be guaranteed sex. I can’t imagine begging and even paying one specific woman for nude photographs when a billion and one other effectively identical nude photographs are already available for free via a two-second Google search. And please, and don’t even get me started on paying for a woman’s used underwear or bathwater – I wouldn’t be willing to take possession of such items if the woman in question paid me.

I just… I just find this… erotophilia, I supposed it would be termed, which seems to infuse most other men and society at large, to be so weird. Does this make me weird?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
1 year ago

Gregory Lynn wrote:

Quick question: Is that supposed to be a hand/bird holding a penis?

That was my initial question too, but I immediately thought about how massively funny it would be if the Men’s Rights movement’s chosen symbol really was a hand holding a white dick, so I decided that was the answer to my question, stopped wondering, and started laughing.

These guys are hilariously inept….

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
1 year ago

I read the article thinking it would be some next-level Zardoz underoos. How disappointed am I to find these standard boxers, average quality at best. MRAs need to up their sexy game.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Big Titty Demon
Same! These aren’t very sexy underwear. In fact, they’re kind of distinctly unsexy. I think it’s the logo and text. Reactionary idiocy isn’t sexy.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

The Hand/Bird logo is stolen from UN efforts to promote the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Now, to be sure, they have deliberately not copyrighted/trademarked it so as to encourage people to freely use it at the local level. So, on the one hand if you don’t look at this too hard this use is perfectly consistent with what the UN wanted: random people associating the UN UDHR with local movements for human rights. They hope to ultimately promote an interrelated ecosystem where some people doing some movement feel naturally connected to and invested in entirely separate movements because they use common imagery and that will tend to create (in at least some people) a presumption of sympathy.

On the other hand, these jerks don’t actually do anything to promote “human rights” per se. Thus this seems a lot more like to be using someone else’s intellectual property to make money for yourself. I mean, do you really see these guys feeling sympathetic to movements promoting microcredit or the education of girls?

I sure as fuck don’t.

So they aren’t doing anything illegal, but it sure feels slimy.

PS: also, if you don’t like the design of the hand/dove, at least THAT part of the graphic design can’t be blamed on them.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

Here’s a bit about the contest that led to the creation and adoption of the logo.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

Reminds me of when AVfM stole graphics from the White Ribbon campaign and set up a phony website to siphon donations away from DV victims and into Paul Elam’s pocket. Totally sleazy. They really get off on tricking people (which, to answer ABars’ question, is why they spend money on PUA seminars instead of just hiring an escort. If you pay a woman for sex, then she gains something too, and they can’t abide that. Sex always has to have a winner and a loser. Someone has to be the victim.)

I’m sure tricking people is part of the appeal of these boxers. The wearers can strut around with a secret “checkmate, ladies” logo concealed in their pants, fantasizing about the big unveiling at the crucial moment. Was it Heartiste who used to get all excited about the “thin layer of fabric” separating his raging boner from his unsuspecting nightclub targets, because it meant he had a secret and they didn’t?

Anyway, these are the most humorless righty-whities ever. They look like they should be stapled to a stick and waved in the street.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

The thing that strikes me most about the graphic design is the half-assedness of it — they didn’t even bother to do a version with a black background and white letters to go on the black boxers.

I also thought that was particularly

1) lazy, and
2) ugly.

If they wanted black boxers, they really needed some light-colored lettering and maybe even a lighter-colored border around the hand/dove logo.

But no. They couldn’t bother. Because, in technical graphic design terms, MRAs suck.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

comment image

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

“You talkin’ to me?” Yes, you, you are holding the logo wrong.

This caption belongs with the photo of Robert De Niro, above.

(From the website that Crip Dyke linked to. Thanks, Crip Dyke!)

dust bunny
dust bunny
1 year ago

@ ABars

You’re the reasonable one and society is the fucked up one. The collective obsession we have with sex is another symptom of patriarchy, which denies men (to a lesser extent everyone else too) all healthy and constructive ways to seek validation and connection. They’re left with the patriarchy-approved replacements of status/domination for validation and sex for all forms of human connection. The latter doesn’t work of course, but having power over others can be intoxicating and offer a sort of validation boost. This creates a situation where everyone is constantly in a state of unfulfilled emotional needs but few people know what else to do about it than to pursue sex (or romantic love, which is basically sex plus a more explicit expectation that along will automatically somehow come meaning, status, fulfilled emotional needs etc).

Sex is neat & all and of course being somewhat preoccupied with it is healthy. But that’s not what we’re doing. What we’re doing is making life and sex and love worse for everyone.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

I just… I just find this… erotophilia, I supposed it would be termed, which seems to infuse most other men and society at large, to be so weird. Does this make me weird?

I hear ya. Some of the specifics were different, but other than that this almost sounds like my biography. :p

Having had sex in no way cleared up my confusion. It was fun, sure. It was also the right person and pleasant and all that. But at the end of the day, I enjoy the intimacy of relationships way more. Cuddles are awesome.

iams
iams
1 year ago

Oh, boy, MRAs again. Does their pathetic “movement” even exist anymore? I initially used to lurk here to see posts on them, but now they seem to be off the radar completely. Does AFVM still even exist, what does it have, like 300 visitors a month? This pathetic thing with the underpants is what they’re up to now?

Susan
Susan
1 year ago

I do the laundry in my house. For a grown man and two little boys and myself. There’s nothing about anyone’s dirty underpants that’s sexy to me.

No shade of course on anyone who’s into it. But I think men’s and women’s typical relationships toward laundry may be a factor in why so many more men are into this than women. Dirty underpants remind me of a chore that I have to do, not sexytimes!

Susan
Susan
1 year ago

@AB, everyone is different. You’re not weird. I, for one, will never understand Disney World.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Because, in technical graphic design terms, MRAs suck.

One of my favorite types of post on this site to look back on is the archive of poorly designed MRA and MGTOW graphics and memes. I just like seeing how bad they are at graphic design and mocking their poorly thought out memes.

@Bettering Lamb

But at the end of the day, I enjoy the intimacy of relationships way more. Cuddles are awesome.

Agreed.

@ABars

I just… I just find this… erotophilia, I supposed it would be termed, which seems to infuse most other men and society at large, to be so weird. Does this make me weird?

Some other commenters have touched on this already, but here’s my take.
Society is very strange in this way. It’s obsessed with sex, but at the same time also hates it and tries to restrict it. It’s a product of a patriarchy that uses it to control people, and tells men they need sex to have value and tells women that having sex takes away their value.

This does not make you weird. If you don’t enjoy sex, don’t have sex. If you do enjoy it, have sex. Do what you want.
You mentioned that you think you are asexual. Since I’m not asexual, I’m not really knowledgeable about that, but I know we have some resident asexual commenters. Maybe they can offer their thoughts.

@Susan

I, for one, will never understand Disney World.

Nor will I. Waiting in lines for hours, sensory overload, creepy mascots, roller coasters…count me out.

ReductiveChaos
ReductiveChaos
1 year ago

I am unsurprised that these boys don’t understand enough about women’s bodies to grasp why it’s a thing…

…Why is it a thing? I always thought it was just men being kinda weird, rather than something to do with women’s bodies.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@ReductiveChaos

…Why is it a thing? I always thought it was just men being kinda weird, rather than something to do with women’s bodies.

I think it’s some sort of fetish. Maybe they want to smell a woman’s scent on it or maybe it helps them picture a woman wearing it? Some men are into that.

I have no problem with people buying used underwear online from people who agree to sell it, but I have heard cases of people (usually men) stealing underwear and/or bras from their partners (or even strangers), and I do not approve of stealing clothing. Better to buy than steal from someone.

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
1 year ago

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie

“it’s so bad… we’re so oppressed… we can’t even tell a joke anymore!!!

Humor has been a long-standing tool used by men to put women (and other out groups ) in their place. Society has let them get away with saying really ugly shit by sugar coating it as a joke.
And, if the victim of the “humor” objects, they are attacked for being humorless, a prig, a wet blanket. As the late, great Christopher Hitchens informed us, “Women don’t have a sense of humor!”.
You have to feel sorry for them, Weird Eddie. It must be tough to lose the free ride of being able to denigrate people under the tissue thin excuse of “I was only joking”.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

I remember reading an article in New Scientist years and years ago about research into historical attitudes to body odour in Western cultures over the centuries. The article cited evidence that people were far more tolerant towards it prior to the 20th Century, probably out necessity: modern detergents hadn’t been invented and the soap that existed at that time was mostly used for washing clothes and probably too harsh for human skin. The article cited one practice that was apparently widespread up to the 19th Century where men going to war would often carry a cloth or handkerchief with them that their wives our partners had kept in their armpits or elsewhere (cough cough) so that it was impregnated with their body odour. I imagine for a lot of men it wasn’t even sexual but a way of retaining some kind of contact with a loved one while off in whatever far-flung part of the world their empire-happy superiors had dispatched them to. Though certainly it was sexual for a lot of guys: the article said that there exists a letter from Napoleon to Josephine sent from the site of one of his victories that basically reads, “we won. I’m coming home. Don’t wash!” 😂

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Cat Mara

The article cited evidence that people were far more tolerant towards it prior to the 20th Century

I heard that for most of history everywhere smelled pretty awful due to lack of sanitation. It probably was hard to notice body odor when everywhere smelled like sewage, human and animal waste, and, later, industrial smog.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Naglfar: There might also have been holdovers from Christian asceticism where paying too much attention to one’s body would have been regarded as sinful or, worse, might have lead people to suspect that one was a secret Jew or Muslim, given the importance of ritual cleanliness to those religions.

Oh, and seeing as how the original post mentions Japan, there is, apparently, an account given to the court of James I of the first diplomatic mission to the shogunate from Europe that goes something like:

Returning diplomats: Guys, you have to see this Japan place, it’s screwball!
The Court: Well, they’re people just like us, aren’t they, how different can it be?
RD: Their houses are made of paper!
TC: Odd, but not utterly beyond the bounds of reason. And?
RD: They eat raw fish!
TC: Again, unusual, but go on.
RD: With little sticks!
TC: Such idiosyncrasies we can expect in heathen lands. Anything else?
RD: And they bathe every day!
TC: Well, now you’re just making shit up.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

@ABars:
Re having meals or seeing TV programs that were more satisfying than sex: yes, I get this.

I had a good friend years ago (now sadly deceased) who didn’t understand this–that a person could find more satisfaction in a really awesome meal than in sex. I will add that, at the time, she hadn’t had sex–at all, ever–until much later.

When she actually found a partner she trusted and cared for and had sex with on a regular basis…she td me that, yes, she understood what I was talking about.

Re the whole “smelling/scent” issue: I understand this to a certain extent in that my partner and I don’t get to see each other on a regular basis right now. We both work overnight & have different days off.

Sometimes, I find myself @ a perfume counter & will spray her favorite cologne in the air, just so I remind myself what she smells like because it’s so hard to be away from her.

I’ll apologize up front as I’m slightly tipsy. Hope this makes a sort of sense.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago
Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

I knew a guy in university who was fond of saying, “there’s nothing so overrated as bad sex, and nothing so underrated as a good shit” 😉

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

I’ve never been able to understand the way so many other men are so obsessed with sex or some of the things they do with respect to it.

The sex isn’t the important part. What they want is the social validation they believe they will receive by being manly and powerful enough to force coerce “convince” a woman into having sex with them, or providing sexual services.

Looking at a nude image freely posted to the internet doesn’t grant you any social capital, but harassing a woman into sending you nudes is proof that you’re powerful (and now have the ability to spread that image around without her consent, bonus). Paying a woman for sex means that she gains some benefit from the interaction, while using skeezy PUA won’t require that.

The point is being able to exert power over someone else. In the version of toxic masculinity that society teaches us, that is the true measure of a man.

Talonknife
Talonknife
1 year ago

I’m Internet friends with a few male sex workers, and there actually is a market for used men’s underwear as well – it’s just that most of the customers are still men, and they’re looking to buy specific types of underwear from specific types of men. Considering most MRAs are presumably heterosexual, not particularly musclebound or twinky, and probably don’t wear jockstraps or designer briefs, it’s no surprise they can’t find anyone who wants to buy their underwear.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Talonknife

Considering most MRAs are presumably heterosexual, not particularly musclebound or twinky, and probably don’t wear jockstraps or designer briefs, it’s no surprise they can’t find anyone who wants to buy their underwear.

Maybe there are some gay men with MRA fetishes. I rather doubt it, but there are all kinds of fetishes, so maybe someone is turned on by MRAs and would like to buy used MRA underwear.
If so, this GIF from a while back would for once be accurate (to people with MRA fetishes):
comment image

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

How unfair it is that women can rake in the big bucks for doing nothing more than wearing a pair of panties — yet there’s no demand for the slightly soiled boxers of dudes who spend their lives hanging out on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.

And yet men rake in more bucks for doing the exact same job as women, and monopolize the REALLY big bucks jobs, but somehow that’s perfectly fair.

Why don’t they buy each others’ used briefs and create a market for it? Let’s put that Invisible Hand to use!

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

OK, who died? This place is really quiet the past 24 hours …

BBC just came out against fat-shaming:

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-49795808

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

I’m a straight man who didn’t have sex until I was 38, barely a year and a half ago.

And you know what? It was really, really nice, and I was like “Yes, this is a thing that I will continue to do.” But it wasn’t the most amazing thing ever.

Now, this could have been because while I liked my partner, I wasn’t in love with her. I’m sure that could affect things quite a bit. Because quite frankly, my lack of romantic success has been far more painful than my lack of sexual success.

Given a choice between a sexless romantic relationship and regular sex with partners that I liked but did not love? I would definitely take the romance. And I’m pretty sure that would make incels’ and PUAs’ heads explode.

Malitia
Malitia
1 year ago

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation wrote on
September 29, 2019 at 11:04 am:
BBC just came out against fat-shaming:

That article is so against fat-shaming that it literally compares “obesity” to smoking. (Because something mostly caused by genetics and stress, as the article also mumbles about before switching back to shaming people’s “life’s choices”, is totes like a literal addiction.)

It also has shit like:

“And it says health professionals should be trained to talk about weight loss in a more supportive way.”

Yeah… That’s what was missing all this time!

comment image
http://amptoons.com/blog/?p=24394

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Malitia
“We’re against fat-shaming. Now here’s all the terrible things about fat and why you need to stop being so fat.”

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

legendary Men’s Right’s commemorative coin.

… is that a pizza???

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Weird Eddie

… is that a pizza???

It’s this thing.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

At the risk of incurring the wrath of C4twoman again, is anyone else tired of all the “Trump is mentally ill” takes? They’ve really intensified lately.

Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

The thing is, Trump’s dad died of complications of Alzheimer’s so it isn’t completely out of left field to wonder if he isn’t also developing dementia. That said he was a shithead long, long before that possibility.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

@WWTH: absolutely. He’s a racist, sexist, classist, irresponsible, cruel asshole, but none of these have to do with mental illness.