By David Futrelle
The lady haters on Reddit and elsewhere are reliably outraged every time they discover that some e-girl they’re probably secretly obsessed with is making money selling their used underwear online.
How unfair it is that women can rake in the big bucks for doing nothing more than wearing a pair of panties — yet there’s no demand for the slightly soiled boxers of dudes who spend their lives hanging out on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
Dudes, maybe the problem isn’t that no one wants used dude underwear. Maybe it’s just that the underwear you want to sell isn’t sexy enough.
Well, problem solved, because I have discovered the WORLD’S SEXIST SEXIEST UNDERWEAR — combining the ball-swinging freedom of boxers with a Men’s Rights message!
Head on over to the Non Feminist store on Zazzle and pick up a pair (or ten) of these “Men’s Rights Are Human Rights” boxer beauts.
And yes, they’re also available in black!
Exquisite tailoring, even more exquisite graphic design. How can you — and all your future used-undies purchasers — go wrong?
And while you’re at the Non Feminist store, why not pick up this exciting refrigerator magnet with a slightly blurry quote from our old non-feminist friend Fidelbogen on it?
You could probably rub it on your butt and sell it, too!
BRB, starting a new business.
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I know I would feel particularly pwned if I was talking to an MRA and he was wearing that underwear, secretly having that message several feet from me.
Men’s Rights ARE Human Rights… and are also NOT in any danger, except in the fantasies of the igno-right wing.
oops, before I post, I’d better add…
THE “RIGHT” TO PUBLICLY ABUSE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T LIKE YOU IS NOT A HUMAN RIGHT!!!
I’ve noticed, when I have a conversation about men’s “oppression” with an igno-right-wing man, they very often come back with (in a panic-stricken childish whiny voice) “it’s so bad… we’re so oppressed… we can’t even tell a joke anymore!!!
really!
somehow, on the list of absolute AGONY that today’s man has to deal with… the idea that it’s no longer socially acceptable to make jokes at another person’s expense… seems to top the list.
Although I find the whole used-panties thing off-putting, personally, I am unsurprised that these boys don’t understand enough about women’s bodies to grasp why it’s a thing… and why there’s no market for a guy’s tighty-whiteys with skid-marks.
Ah, Fidelbogen! Haven’t heard from him in some time. I wonder what he’s up to these days. Probably just internet shitposting, as usual.
@MJ
I don’t really get the hype around used panties either. I don’t mean to shame anyone who’s into them, and I get why people like them, but they’re a bit off putting to me as well.
Yes, guys, it’s totally SEXISM that’s causing us not to buy your used underwear, for sure!!!
Quick question: Is that supposed to be a hand/bird holding a penis?
I was trying to determine if the penis was the bird’s neck or if it was in the whitespace of a frontal view and the blue was thick outlines. The latter left me wondering about the lines on the right though. Fingers? Cameltoe? Given their chronic ignorance about the mechanics of sex, the latter isn’t all that preposterous.
Somehow these guys have entirely overlooked the lucrative market for selling used men’s underpants to gay men. Mind you, I doubt they would be able to look hot enough for the lookist mentality that the market has. Plus they probably don’t realize that, unless you’re a famous porn star, you have to give more of yourself than just the underpants. You’re selling a fantasy of possibility that includes underpants, not just the underpants themselves.
Mind, there’s an awful lot they don’t realize…
I also wonder what happened to Fidelbogen. It’s been awhile. I guess the reactionary word salad market is so oversaturated these days that he’s not making an impact anymore.
While I don’t believe I’m either gay or asexual, I’ve never been able to understand the way so many other men are so obsessed with sex or some of the things they do with respect to it. Even as a male virgin in his mid-20s, I never minded my sexlessness that much and thought that both the PUA and incel subcultures were stupid. I couldn’t imagine structuring my entire identity/persona around either trying to obtain sex or my inability to obtain it. I didn’t need to have had sex to be able to predict that an orgasm procured through sex couldn’t possibly feel all that different from an orgasm procured through masturbation, or that another person’s skin couldn’t possibly feel all that different from my own skin. And when I eventually did end up having sex, I thought that it was the most overrated, underwhelming experience of my life. I was like: “That’s it? That’s seriously fucking it? This is what other men cry themselves to sleep at night or embark on shooting rampages over not being able to get? This is what the Abrahamic religions have spent 2,000 years trying to stop people from having? I’ve eaten meals at restaurants and seen episodes of television series which I enjoyed more, for fuck’s sake!”
I can’t imagine spending thousands of dollars on a pickup artistry boot camp when you could spend that same amount of money on an escort and be guaranteed sex. I can’t imagine begging and even paying one specific woman for nude photographs when a billion and one other effectively identical nude photographs are already available for free via a two-second Google search. And please, and don’t even get me started on paying for a woman’s used underwear or bathwater – I wouldn’t be willing to take possession of such items if the woman in question paid me.
I just… I just find this… erotophilia, I supposed it would be termed, which seems to infuse most other men and society at large, to be so weird. Does this make me weird?
That was my initial question too, but I immediately thought about how massively funny it would be if the Men’s Rights movement’s chosen symbol really was a hand holding a white dick, so I decided that was the answer to my question, stopped wondering, and started laughing.
These guys are hilariously inept….
I read the article thinking it would be some next-level Zardoz underoos. How disappointed am I to find these standard boxers, average quality at best. MRAs need to up their sexy game.
@Big Titty Demon
Same! These aren’t very sexy underwear. In fact, they’re kind of distinctly unsexy. I think it’s the logo and text. Reactionary idiocy isn’t sexy.
The Hand/Bird logo is stolen from UN efforts to promote the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Now, to be sure, they have deliberately not copyrighted/trademarked it so as to encourage people to freely use it at the local level. So, on the one hand if you don’t look at this too hard this use is perfectly consistent with what the UN wanted: random people associating the UN UDHR with local movements for human rights. They hope to ultimately promote an interrelated ecosystem where some people doing some movement feel naturally connected to and invested in entirely separate movements because they use common imagery and that will tend to create (in at least some people) a presumption of sympathy.
On the other hand, these jerks don’t actually do anything to promote “human rights” per se. Thus this seems a lot more like to be using someone else’s intellectual property to make money for yourself. I mean, do you really see these guys feeling sympathetic to movements promoting microcredit or the education of girls?
I sure as fuck don’t.
So they aren’t doing anything illegal, but it sure feels slimy.
PS: also, if you don’t like the design of the hand/dove, at least THAT part of the graphic design can’t be blamed on them.
Here’s a bit about the contest that led to the creation and adoption of the logo.
The thing that strikes me most about the graphic design is the half-assedness of it — they didn’t even bother to do a version with a black background and white letters to go on the black boxers. I assume what would happen if anyone bought these is that they wouldn’t get a white square but instead black lettering on a black background.
I was just imagining the shock of some poor person going home with one of these guys and seeing “men’s rights are human rights” on his underwear and realizing he was an MRA. (Although the chances of this happening are admittedly very slim, as anyone who bought a pair of these things would undoubtedly make their MRA-ness known long before then and thus disqualified themselves from the going home with someone part of the evening.)
It’s reminiscent of the legendary Men’s Right’s commemorative coin.
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/07/12/who-designed-a-voice-for-mens-new-commemorative-coins-judy-chicago/
Reminds me of when AVfM stole graphics from the White Ribbon campaign and set up a phony website to siphon donations away from DV victims and into Paul Elam’s pocket. Totally sleazy. They really get off on tricking people (which, to answer ABars’ question, is why they spend money on PUA seminars instead of just hiring an escort. If you pay a woman for sex, then she gains something too, and they can’t abide that. Sex always has to have a winner and a loser. Someone has to be the victim.)
I’m sure tricking people is part of the appeal of these boxers. The wearers can strut around with a secret “checkmate, ladies” logo concealed in their pants, fantasizing about the big unveiling at the crucial moment. Was it Heartiste who used to get all excited about the “thin layer of fabric” separating his raging boner from his unsuspecting nightclub targets, because it meant he had a secret and they didn’t?
Anyway, these are the most humorless righty-whities ever. They look like they should be stapled to a stick and waved in the street.
I also thought that was particularly
1) lazy, and
2) ugly.
If they wanted black boxers, they really needed some light-colored lettering and maybe even a lighter-colored border around the hand/dove logo.
But no. They couldn’t bother. Because, in technical graphic design terms, MRAs suck.
“You talkin’ to me?” Yes, you, you are holding the logo wrong.
This caption belongs with the photo of Robert De Niro, above.
(From the website that Crip Dyke linked to. Thanks, Crip Dyke!)
@ ABars
You’re the reasonable one and society is the fucked up one. The collective obsession we have with sex is another symptom of patriarchy, which denies men (to a lesser extent everyone else too) all healthy and constructive ways to seek validation and connection. They’re left with the patriarchy-approved replacements of status/domination for validation and sex for all forms of human connection. The latter doesn’t work of course, but having power over others can be intoxicating and offer a sort of validation boost. This creates a situation where everyone is constantly in a state of unfulfilled emotional needs but few people know what else to do about it than to pursue sex (or romantic love, which is basically sex plus a more explicit expectation that along will automatically somehow come meaning, status, fulfilled emotional needs etc).
Sex is neat & all and of course being somewhat preoccupied with it is healthy. But that’s not what we’re doing. What we’re doing is making life and sex and love worse for everyone.
I hear ya. Some of the specifics were different, but other than that this almost sounds like my biography. :p
Having had sex in no way cleared up my confusion. It was fun, sure. It was also the right person and pleasant and all that. But at the end of the day, I enjoy the intimacy of relationships way more. Cuddles are awesome.
Oh, boy, MRAs again. Does their pathetic “movement” even exist anymore? I initially used to lurk here to see posts on them, but now they seem to be off the radar completely. Does AFVM still even exist, what does it have, like 300 visitors a month? This pathetic thing with the underpants is what they’re up to now?