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MGTOWs and cooking go together like unidentifiable glop on rice

Don’t kiss THIS cook

By David Futrelle

Men Going Their Own Way are determined to let the world know that they really can go their own way — and that they neither need nor desire some dumb taks to take care of the basic tasks of life like, you know, cleaning, or preparing food for themselves.

They seem particularly invested in proving that they can cook at least as well as any dumb broad. And so from time to time they post recipes online — sometimes with pictures of the end results.

And while we may never get to see photos of the charred remains of chicken cooked the A Voice for Men way, or this slightly meat-heavy MGTOW pasta salad, the fellows on the MGTOW subreddit have been posting quite a few photos of their culinary creations and, well, I don’t exactly know how any of these taste, but let’s just say these fellas could work a little harder on the presentation.

Here in all its glory is what I can only call unidentified beige sauce on rice:

Here, allegedly, is a meatloaf:

Apparently the things on the left in this one are chicken breasts, enough for a whole week of identical meals. Or perhaps he’s starting a cult in his basement.

While the MGTOWs sometimes get adventurous and try things like Beef Wellington, most of the meals are either badly-cooked slabs of meat or some sort of glop on rice or pasta.

Other “recipes” barely count as cooking at all, except in the minimal sense of heating something up so you can eat it without dying of food poisoning. Here’s one fellow’s inspired BBQ feast:

This dude decided it was worth posting a picture of some sausage and fried eggs that he had miraculously been able to cook all on his own like a big boy.

I mean, yes, I’d eat that, but come on, dude, cooking eggs in sausage fat is really only a step or two above “making toast” as a culinary accomplishment.

Speaking of which, here’s one man’s, er, unique take on garlic toast.

Even some of the other MGTOWs were underwhelmed by this one. “Not trying to be rude bro,” one wrote, “but its bread with cheese melted on it.”

I know you all would be eager to chow down on any of these delicious-looking meals, but remember to save room for dessert!

“Made my first cake today,” the MGTOW who posted it wrote proudly. “Invest in yourself gentleman.”

Way to show the ladies just who’s the real chef around here!

Actually, I take that back. The real king of the kitchen isn’t a MGTOW or a lady. It’s this dude:

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

I’d imagine these folks would have more success going their own way if they went their own way towards somewhere with takeout restaurants.
When I was growing up, my father did all the cooking, so I have it on record that men can cook well. Evidently these men are just not very good at it.

damoflances
damoflances
1 year ago

Oh dear…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

What’s a “dumb tak“; or will I regret asking?

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
1 year ago

In conclusion, their idea of cooking isn’t any better than their ideas about women: they’re both garbage. Calling any of this glop food is an insult to culinary art and good taste. They need to go their own way to cooking class or ordering meal kits. I’d suggest watching America’s Test Kitchen but since Christopher Kimball left, it’s hosted by TWO women.

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
1 year ago

Seriously, I was cooking better than this when I was 12.

Kootiepatra
1 year ago

I’m a decent cook, and have whipped together things that looked like glop on rice and tasted ok. But I also have the self-awareness to know that edible glop on rice is definitely food at its most utilitarian, and won’t (and shouldn’t) impress anyone on the internet, and does not mark me as a culinary genius.

I hold no ill will towards anyone who doesn’t cook much, or fancy, or even very well. It’s totally not my business if someone doesn’t care about investing any energy into food presentation. But if you’re going to brag on the internet about your amazing cooking skills, then I’m going to feel okay about arching my eyebrows at your frozen veg on a cookie sheet.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

This reminds me of the kind of thing posted on Cook Suck, a self-styled “internet food police” site run by a very angry, misanthropic and profane Australian fellow…

Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

The cake looks okay for a first try. Waaaaaay too much powdered sugar on top, though.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
1 year ago

@Naglfar

These upstanding examples of manhood are probably terrified their dude cred will be undermined if they make something that actually looks edible. It must suck to have masculinity that fragile.

Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

Glop on rice or pasta can be tasty if it’s cooked thoughtfully using good ingredients. But I’d put my “glop on rice/pasta” recipes against theirs any day.

That meatloaf looks pretty sad.

TheKND
TheKND
1 year ago

I’m by no means a grand cook, but I can keep myself alive and pretty healthy. But you know what? When I make a lentil stew (which ends up pretty beige too), I don’t post it on the internet to own the womz.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

I am good at cooking. I know about things like Maillard reaction and why you want it, and if pressed could calculate the acidity of a dish (and I know the general acidity range to aim for). But my cooking usually looks like crap because I don’t put a lot into presentation. But then, if it looks like crap I usually don’t post photos.

Also, I don’t use this skill as some kind of sour grapes reasoning for why I don’t want a man, anyway.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Victorious Parasol

Glop on rice or pasta can be tasty if it’s cooked thoughtfully using good ingredients.

For sure. That’s kind of the point of sauces, and people like those.

@kupo

But my cooking usually looks like crap because I don’t put a lot into presentation. But then, if it looks like crap I usually don’t post photos.

Same. There have been times when I’ve put effort into presentation, but most of the time it’s not necessary because I’m just cooking for myself or for some friends, not for an audience.
I don’t really ever post pictures of things I cook. When I’m especially proud of a dish, I might photograph it for myself, but I see no reason to post those photographs online.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
1 year ago

I don’t really care about the mgtows, whatever, who can be bothered with them.

But I lol’d at the video of Frankfurter Anniversary Meal Guy haha

MsEdgyNation
MsEdgyNation
1 year ago

Glop over rice is practically a food group for me, but there’s a very good reason I don’t post pictures of my lentil and mushroom casserole on the internet.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

When you’re cooking for just you, you do tend to not put huge effort into making a complex and beautiful dish. But yeah, I would never post my beige ass store bought Alfredo sauce over store bought linguine dinner on the internet for bragging purposes.

Fabe
Fabe
1 year ago

Think I’m going to post tonight’s dinner of Shake and bake pork chop with french fries top with shredded cheese and gravy over there. They’ll probably consider me a Gordon Ramsey level chef for that.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
1 year ago

Hey as long they’re not complaining/harassing women and minorities then I’m a-ok with it.

Love making smoothies in the morning. Mix banannas, vegetable and fruit powder, hibiscus powder, goji powder, bee pollen, chia seeds etc. And I excercise. Defiently getting them muscles.

https://images.app.goo.gl/3iMiMY9stZv3pWsc9

I have come to destroy white male supremacy.

Susan
Susan
1 year ago

You know, I am feeling kind of generous towards these terrible cooks/worse humans. Seriously, the fact that they are trying to practice a kind of self care and taking pride in a positive accomplishment as opposed to whining about what others have that they don’t or tearing down women is a baby step towards something. And I am inclined to say, “Well done, MGTOWs. Now learn to knit or take up piano or get a library card. The world is your oyster!”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

Most of the comments are supportive, but then you get stuff like this:

Delicious, women hate it when men can cook. Because that’s another thing they can’t take from us.

I don’t understand the Highlander THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE approach to household chores.

Most women I know are thrilled, not resentful, when their partners take an interest in cooking and cleaning. Do it together, and it becomes a fun social activity.

ANonnyMouse
ANonnyMouse
1 year ago

That’s what my cooking looks like. But I don’t brag about it and I certainly don’t take pictures.

Sarity
Sarity
1 year ago

Meanwhile a rather casual homemade dinner enjoyed by my husband: Ikura topped California roll, alongside a tofu version for my veghead self (wink wink Alan 😃)

comment image

But hey, if bulky onslaughts of bland calories makes them feel satisfied enough not to bother women for their sandwiches, I’d call it a win-win. I notice also that their cookware appears to be cleaned approximately never… Yuck.

otrame
otrame
1 year ago

Well… when my youngest son got back from the army he had trouble finding a job for a while. So he moved himself and his wife and kids in with me. We all had chores. I did laundry. The wife was the only one actually working, so we tried to keep her chores to a minimum, but she did do some cooking and random other things. The kids did the dishes and swept and mopped the floors. My son did the cooking. He was very good at it. Eventually he got a job and moved out. I miss them.

But then there’s my other son. The one who has a degree in culinary arts and makes his living as a chef.

And all the women in their lives LOVE their cooking because they’re good at it and because, strangely enough, none of the women in their lives think that cooking is only for women. Neither do all the men in their lives.

Funny thing, that.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
1 year ago

Honestly I’m not one to make home made food for myself, and the homemade food I can make isn’t much too write home about or all that fancy save maybe my “Skyrim-inspired-style” Tomato Soup with leeks, some cream, dash of Garlic, chive and a few other things but… well it’s nice, both in flavor and presentation, but you can’t really mess up Tomato Soup too badly… so it’s not anything for me to say about other than “This is really nice Tomato soup: would anyone like some?”

And what’s more making food isn’t some one upsmenship for me to rub in peoples faces; it’s sustenance to fill my tummy, and that of my loved ones and make myself and aforementioned loved ones feel happy.

These guys seem to be missing the whole point of making food…

Megalibrarygirl
Megalibrarygirl
1 year ago

/delurks/

@TacticalProgressive

Can we *beg* you to post your Skyrim Soup recipe???

I am a sucker for nerd-food!

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
1 year ago

That’s a lot of chicken breasts alongside those frozen mixed veggies. Must’ve bought the economy-sized packages. Next lesson: Dividing quantities for recipes and proper food storage, which make possible variety, and, maybe someday, creativity? (Okay, yeah, that last bit was tongue in cheek).

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

No one has commented on the anniversary dinner?

That was completely brill.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
1 year ago

@Megalibrarygirl

Here’s what looks like the inspiration: https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Tomato_Soup

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
1 year ago

“Women hate it when men cook”?

Once again, MGTOWs show how little they know of women. Most women, like most people (I know, I know, it’s hard for them to realise women are actually people), love it when somebody cooks for them. And I’ve seen many women gushing over someone with “…and he can cook!”.

If – and that’s a big “if” – this claim is based on anything besides their ridiculous zero-sum view of men and women and life, I’d say that it’s based on either the stereotypical “it’s my kitchen, you keep out of it” housewife (and I suppose some of those might exist somewhere too; or at least be more like my mum, who didn’t mind help in the kitchen but had a tendency to micro-manage and get frustrated when people weren’t doing things right, or fast enough), or on those situations (also kinda stereotypical, but probably also with a basis in real life) where a man who doesn’t usually cook has his One Dish that he makes, now and then, serves with pride and talks about endlessly, leaving a mess in the kitchen for the wife to later clean up.
[Wait, was that all one sentence? Yow, sorry about that. Haven’t had breakfast yet so my phrasing’s a bit clunky.]
Anyway, even in those hypothetical cases, it isn’t “women hate it when men cook”; it’s either “some cooks – of either gender – do not work well with others” or “people don’t like it when you sometimetimes deign to do one thing that you usually consider their domain, leaving them with the bulk of the work, and then treating it like it was some great achievement”.
Or, in other words, women are people. Whoulda thunk it.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

The majority of what I cook can be charitably described as ‘nutritious paste’. I do soups, curries, stews- basically anything that involves me tossing a bunch of stuff in a pot and being able to make a full meal without the need for side dishes. It isn’t pretty, but it’s a forgiving method of cooking and it makes a lot of leftovers, which is a lifesaver for my depressed ass. And it’s an easy way to get a lot of vegetables and beans/lentils in me, rather than me subsisting on crackers and tap water, which sometimes happens during my low energy periods.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
1 year ago

(Also, I originally came here to say something about non-photogenic food but that’s already been thoroughly covered by others. And now it’s time to go try out my new waffle-maker with a half-batch of Stella Parks’ vanilla buttermilk waffles. Hey, something cool: the recipe only uses eggwhites, so yesterday night I used the leftover yolk to whip up a little bit of pastry cream. Even if the waffle maker’s no good and they get botched, this is still gonna be a lovely breakfast.)

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
1 year ago

Yep, I’m exactly like Kootiepatra – I’m a good to a bit better than good cook and I’ve made some delicious stuff I wouldn’t take a picture of. Nor do you have to do a lot of complicated cooking to produce a beautiful and delicious meal that only requires a bit of heating up. Like last night’s sucuk and halloumi meal with Turkish bread and an onion and parsley salsa and a few crudité. Gorgeous – and the only real prep I did was the salsa. (I didn’t take a picture, but it was pretty.)

On the other hand – that sausage and egg thing really did trigger something!!! That kind of sausage isn’t really available in the UK, and I love it. So yeah, that was a bit of nostalgia food porn for me.

If I were of a mind to advise MGTOWs on easy delicious meals – I’d whisper “slow cooker”. But I’m not – and truthfully you can make some bland bleck in a slow cooker – it’s all about the herbs and spices…

ERA @Penny Psmith – I’m maybe a bit authoritarian about meal prep. I do most of it. But my partner does the cleaning up which I hate, hate, hate doing.. He helps with big meal prep. He can cook – but he has a limited repertoire, but what he does make is good. And he is also our master of the toastie when we do production line lunches for the kids.

Empress Penguin
Empress Penguin
1 year ago

I was actually taught to cook by my ex-boyfriend, who had a natural flair for it. ‘I’m jealous that he can cook and I can’t’ didn’t even make it into the top 100 reasons why I broke up with him, though. Sorry, MGTOWs.

@Penny Psmith

My aforementioned ex was definitely guilty of the latter – though he had more than one signature dish, he generally considered his job was done once the food hit the table. Cleaning the work stations and hob, putting ingredients back in the fridge, washing the dishes etc. were jobs for the women of the house. My parents got so fed up to it that they banned him from cooking in our house.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
1 year ago

@Megalibtarygirl

Well I’ll do my best to outline my Tomato Soup recipe as best of my ability, and I feel obligated to add that I took some liberties with the in game recipe to make it a tad more palpable. This particular set of ingredients and approach to preparation and cooking has worked well for me in the past in a semi-consistent fashion; and it’s very good for what it is.

Ingredients:
1-2 large cans of crushed tomato’s
1 can of tomato paste
3 Leeks- rinse leaks thoroughly, cut the ends off, slice in half and diced
1-3 cloves garlic
3-5 strands (1-half tablespoom) of thyme (fresh or dried; fresh is ideal)
1 small carton of Cream (Dairy land cream) (optional but recommended for balance of flavor and mitigating tomato acidity)
Chives for seasoning.
Water optional if 1 can used (esspecially for large pot and for thinner broth)
dash of oregano
olive oil

Instructions:
– Wash and dice Leaks
-mince garlic
-prep thyme (no pun intended)
-open all can’s of tomato product for next step
-Set stove top to setting 5 with large pot and a bit of olive oil for perpetration; use drop of water to test if pot temperature is sufficiently ready
-sauté the leeks in olive oil until translucent; occasionally stir to prevent burning, add light dash of salt for seasoning
-add garlic and thyme and continue cooking leeks until caramelized to satisfaction
-add can’s of crush tomatoes; start with 1 can and work your way up as needed or desired.
-add a third of a can tomato paste for 1 can and add as needed for more thickness and richness
-prepare adding cream shortly after adding tomato paste, wait until desired consistency and add half carton of cream, stir while pouring cream at moderate level to incorporate cream evenly to broth
-after adding cream; reduce temperature to simmer at 3 and a half or four , slowly stir
-add some chive for extra seasoning as well as colour and texture, slowly stir,
-at this point: serve soup either by itself, accompanied by bagel or as a side dish, or let simmer at setting 2 or 3 for another 5-10 minutes if desired

And that is pretty much the whole shebang. It’s not anything super fancy but it tastes good and is fairly healthy. Also just leaving a photo just to show off the finished product as i usually have it. I know it’s not much, but it tends to taste nice when I get the portions just right.
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/bucue5/RandomPhotos/32157220_10160322664285203_1139696935230242816_n.jpg

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Penny Psmith: It’s funny you should mention waffle makers because I only read an article earlier this week written by someone who got some serious waffle religion: “I replaced my oven with a waffle maker, and you should too“. Sorry, dude, but you can have my oven when you pry it from my cold, dead, criss-crossed-with-old-burn-scars hands…

LollyPop
LollyPop
1 year ago

I know it’s too much to expect MGTOWs to live on the same planet but what on earth is the spirit behind this whole naive showing-offery about, let alone “women hate it when men cook”.

Both my brothers are great cooks and do the majority in their relationships, as their other halves do more out-of-home work hours. But then again, most of the women I know out-earn their male partners, 2 financially support their partners far less lucrative but much loved careers, and another has supported her partner for 5 years as he can’t work due to mental health challenges – all scenarios which simply can’t exist in the MGTOW philosophy.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ sarity

Oh my word; they look glorious! Proper works of art.

I suppose it’s on topic to bring up the idea of “The first bite is with the eyes“. I certainly think that can be true at appropriate times.

Sushi is a great example. I know it’s a bit of a cliche; but it really does seem to epitomise that whole Wabi-Sabi concept. Yours does anyway.

Robert Haynie
Robert Haynie
1 year ago

Well, I know for one that at least my sisters in law appreciate my cooking ability. (I’m far from a gourmet, mind you, but I tend to be better than the above examples.)

That being said, I’m going to have to point out a few things that, as someone who actually does things in the kitchen on a regular basis (I am a bachelor, I am 62 come November, and I damn well had to learn don’t quite hold true in the above article.

The thing about beige sauce. Well, that’s fine as far as the examples given go. But honestly, there are some dishes that are by definition beige sauce. Most gravies are, for example. That looks, honestly, like a perfectly acceptable onion gravy. That rice, on the other hand, has been mistreated horribly, and someone could stand to shell out 20 bucks at Target for a cheap rice cooker.

The chicken breasts don’t look so bad– it would seem someone was attempting to butter poach them. With far too much butter. Like about six sticks. Again, not so pretty, but edible… if rather a lot. Lots of a lot. I’m guessing it’s for a function of some sort, from the side next to it… and that’s a hell of a lot of carrots and peas, wow, a hell of a lot of carrots and peas…

Yeah. The toast thing fails. But not as much as the… are you certain he called it a meatloaf?

Finally, the final video is sheer brilliance, and true mastery of the kitchen in action. If there is any flaw in that performance, it’s that the chef was, in my humble opinion, a bit light on the hot dogs. An extra pack or three would have bought a certain piquant aesthetic to the whole.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

Ha, most of my cooking can be described as glop on rice or pasta.

But it is tasty glop.

Due to depression my energy levels vary and sometimes I stop eating entirely.

So I usually do stuff that doesn’t need much prep and just has to simmer on the stove or roast in the oven for a few hours.

And a few herbs and spices go a long way.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

I’m not much for presentation either– I mean, who cares what it looks like when it’s going right into your facOM NOM NOM NOM 😉– but I have been trying a bit harder recently.

This is a chocolate cake I made for a university friend who was visiting from Germany:

comment image

I was trying to follow some of the techniques in Claire Saffitz’s¹ Baking School videos over on the Bon Appétit channel on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-5yLt1gqIo

¹ If you haven’t seen Claire Saffitz, she’s awesome. She does this regular slot on the Bon Appétit channel called “Gourmet Makes” where she attempts to reproduce some cheap & nasty snack food (Twinkies, Doritos, etc.) in a “gourmet” version… normally ending up with her breaking down and praying for death by the third day of futile experiments. People seem to find it cathartic. She’s become something of an internet meme with people confessing to some serious girl-crushing on her. Find you someone who stans you as hard as Talia “chick in Kiev” Lavin stans Claire Saffitz. 😳

K.
K.
1 year ago

Right, I’m totally showing off my lazy-bones feijoada then… 😀

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqGF0jrnaP2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

Oh, and these were my lunch today:

comment image

They’re vegan “chicken” nuggets. I actually put them on a plate and everything– I’m not an animal! They’re actually really good– they’re made from a mixture of soaked cashew nuts and oatmeal flour– though I’m not sure whether that’s because a) chicken nuggets are so deplorably low on actual meat to begin that you don’t miss it when you remove it altogether, and/or b) anything tastes good when you roll it in breadcrumbs and fry it in enough grease 😉.

Megalibrarygirl
Megalibrarygirl
1 year ago

@TacticalProgressive

Can’t wait to try it! Thank you!

Also, thank you @KindaSortaHarmless for the link. I really enjoyed Elder Scrolls. I spent most of my time gathering and making things.

Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

I made some colcannon recently, but it would photograph horribly– I was trying to use up some leftover frozen potatoes that had been cooked with a pot roast (they rather outnumbered the meat at the time). Since said potatoes were soaked through and through with beef juice, they give the final result a weird greyish tint.

Further, since I was using small waxy potatoes left behind from my mom’s visit (for a different pot roast; they weren’t cooked but were perilously close to sprouting), I wasn’t used to how they’d cook through for mashing purposes. Between that and the toughened skins on the frozen spuds the only way I could get anything like a mash consistency was with a food processor, which is generally not recommended because they can (and did) get very paste-like.

That said, my husband proclaimed it delicious and I now have better ideas of what to do next time…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ cat mara

anything tastes good when you roll it in breadcrumbs and fry it in enough grease

I’ll take “Greggs entire business plan” for 500 please Alec.

Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

Oh, and regarding the meatloaf– the post makes it sound like he used no eggs, which might have helped bind the meat together better. (I usually use one egg per lb of ground beef.) I also prefer to oven bake mine in a loaf pan.

K.
K.
1 year ago

@Nequam,

I love making colcannon — though, my favorite version came about by accident. We had leftover bok choy sauteed with garlic from one of the local Chinese restaurants, so I mixed that with the mashed potatoes with a dollop of Dijon instead.

Sauteed mustard greens works really well in it too.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

If I make meatloaf I add egg and bread crumbs for binding.

Small mozzarella balls and chorizo chunks are tasty as well.

And I bake it in a loaf tin.

I’m also a fan of one pot dishes.

And if I want to go really fancy I cook Persian. The dishes use few ingredients but you cook it for a long time. And my mum has gotten really good at making Persian rice.

Cooking is best when done as a group.

My mum does the veg, my dad does meat, and I am the desert royalty.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Alan: Oddly, Greggs’ have yet to make it over the Irish Sea, despite the popularity of mashed-pig-and-grease products being about the same on both islands…

@K., @Nequam: Things you should never do:

Start a land war in Asia
Ask an Irish person, “so, colcannon, then! What do you reckon: cabbage or kale?”

It’s a fraught question. Personally, I’m on Team Kale myself but there are a lot of people (who are Wrong BTW wrongity wrongity WRONG) who are Team Cabbage.

Of course, nowadays with the younger generation, the answer would be more like, “colcannon?! Will you go away out of that and get me a spice bag!” 😂

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

I make a great soup that I finally got to taste just like Campbell’s beef barley (but without all the crap!)

There’s no way I’m posting a picture of it online, because people would just be looking into a pot of brownish-red colored liquid.

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