By David Futrelle
Men Going Their Own Way are determined to let the world know that they really can go their own way — and that they neither need nor desire some dumb taks to take care of the basic tasks of life like, you know, cleaning, or preparing food for themselves.
They seem particularly invested in proving that they can cook at least as well as any dumb broad. And so from time to time they post recipes online — sometimes with pictures of the end results.
And while we may never get to see photos of the charred remains of chicken cooked the A Voice for Men way, or this slightly meat-heavy MGTOW pasta salad, the fellows on the MGTOW subreddit have been posting quite a few photos of their culinary creations and, well, I don’t exactly know how any of these taste, but let’s just say these fellas could work a little harder on the presentation.
Here in all its glory is what I can only call unidentified beige sauce on rice:
Here, allegedly, is a meatloaf:
Apparently the things on the left in this one are chicken breasts, enough for a whole week of identical meals. Or perhaps he’s starting a cult in his basement.
While the MGTOWs sometimes get adventurous and try things like Beef Wellington, most of the meals are either badly-cooked slabs of meat or some sort of glop on rice or pasta.
Other “recipes” barely count as cooking at all, except in the minimal sense of heating something up so you can eat it without dying of food poisoning. Here’s one fellow’s inspired BBQ feast:
This dude decided it was worth posting a picture of some sausage and fried eggs that he had miraculously been able to cook all on his own like a big boy.
I mean, yes, I’d eat that, but come on, dude, cooking eggs in sausage fat is really only a step or two above “making toast” as a culinary accomplishment.
Speaking of which, here’s one man’s, er, unique take on garlic toast.
Even some of the other MGTOWs were underwhelmed by this one. “Not trying to be rude bro,” one wrote, “but its bread with cheese melted on it.”
I know you all would be eager to chow down on any of these delicious-looking meals, but remember to save room for dessert!
“Made my first cake today,” the MGTOW who posted it wrote proudly. “Invest in yourself gentleman.”
Way to show the ladies just who’s the real chef around here!
Actually, I take that back. The real king of the kitchen isn’t a MGTOW or a lady. It’s this dude:
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I’d imagine these folks would have more success going their own way if they went their own way towards somewhere with takeout restaurants.
When I was growing up, my father did all the cooking, so I have it on record that men can cook well. Evidently these men are just not very good at it.
Oh dear…
What’s a “dumb tak“; or will I regret asking?
In conclusion, their idea of cooking isn’t any better than their ideas about women: they’re both garbage. Calling any of this glop food is an insult to culinary art and good taste. They need to go their own way to cooking class or ordering meal kits. I’d suggest watching America’s Test Kitchen but since Christopher Kimball left, it’s hosted by TWO women.
Seriously, I was cooking better than this when I was 12.
I’m a decent cook, and have whipped together things that looked like glop on rice and tasted ok. But I also have the self-awareness to know that edible glop on rice is definitely food at its most utilitarian, and won’t (and shouldn’t) impress anyone on the internet, and does not mark me as a culinary genius.
I hold no ill will towards anyone who doesn’t cook much, or fancy, or even very well. It’s totally not my business if someone doesn’t care about investing any energy into food presentation. But if you’re going to brag on the internet about your amazing cooking skills, then I’m going to feel okay about arching my eyebrows at your frozen veg on a cookie sheet.
This reminds me of the kind of thing posted on Cook Suck, a self-styled “internet food police” site run by a very angry, misanthropic and profane Australian fellow…
The cake looks okay for a first try. Waaaaaay too much powdered sugar on top, though.
@Naglfar
These upstanding examples of manhood are probably terrified their dude cred will be undermined if they make something that actually looks edible. It must suck to have masculinity that fragile.
Glop on rice or pasta can be tasty if it’s cooked thoughtfully using good ingredients. But I’d put my “glop on rice/pasta” recipes against theirs any day.
That meatloaf looks pretty sad.
I’m by no means a grand cook, but I can keep myself alive and pretty healthy. But you know what? When I make a lentil stew (which ends up pretty beige too), I don’t post it on the internet to own the womz.
I am good at cooking. I know about things like Maillard reaction and why you want it, and if pressed could calculate the acidity of a dish (and I know the general acidity range to aim for). But my cooking usually looks like crap because I don’t put a lot into presentation. But then, if it looks like crap I usually don’t post photos.
Also, I don’t use this skill as some kind of sour grapes reasoning for why I don’t want a man, anyway.
@Victorious Parasol
For sure. That’s kind of the point of sauces, and people like those.
@kupo
Same. There have been times when I’ve put effort into presentation, but most of the time it’s not necessary because I’m just cooking for myself or for some friends, not for an audience.
I don’t really ever post pictures of things I cook. When I’m especially proud of a dish, I might photograph it for myself, but I see no reason to post those photographs online.
I don’t really care about the mgtows, whatever, who can be bothered with them.
But I lol’d at the video of Frankfurter Anniversary Meal Guy haha
Glop over rice is practically a food group for me, but there’s a very good reason I don’t post pictures of my lentil and mushroom casserole on the internet.
When you’re cooking for just you, you do tend to not put huge effort into making a complex and beautiful dish. But yeah, I would never post my beige ass store bought Alfredo sauce over store bought linguine dinner on the internet for bragging purposes.
Think I’m going to post tonight’s dinner of Shake and bake pork chop with french fries top with shredded cheese and gravy over there. They’ll probably consider me a Gordon Ramsey level chef for that.
Hey as long they’re not complaining/harassing women and minorities then I’m a-ok with it.
Love making smoothies in the morning. Mix banannas, vegetable and fruit powder, hibiscus powder, goji powder, bee pollen, chia seeds etc. And I excercise. Defiently getting them muscles.
https://images.app.goo.gl/3iMiMY9stZv3pWsc9
I have come to destroy white male supremacy.
You know, I am feeling kind of generous towards these terrible cooks/worse humans. Seriously, the fact that they are trying to practice a kind of self care and taking pride in a positive accomplishment as opposed to whining about what others have that they don’t or tearing down women is a baby step towards something. And I am inclined to say, “Well done, MGTOWs. Now learn to knit or take up piano or get a library card. The world is your oyster!”
Most of the comments are supportive, but then you get stuff like this:
I don’t understand the Highlander THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE approach to household chores.
Most women I know are thrilled, not resentful, when their partners take an interest in cooking and cleaning. Do it together, and it becomes a fun social activity.
That’s what my cooking looks like. But I don’t brag about it and I certainly don’t take pictures.
Meanwhile a rather casual homemade dinner enjoyed by my husband: Ikura topped California roll, alongside a tofu version for my veghead self (wink wink Alan ?)
But hey, if bulky onslaughts of bland calories makes them feel satisfied enough not to bother women for their sandwiches, I’d call it a win-win. I notice also that their cookware appears to be cleaned approximately never… Yuck.
Well… when my youngest son got back from the army he had trouble finding a job for a while. So he moved himself and his wife and kids in with me. We all had chores. I did laundry. The wife was the only one actually working, so we tried to keep her chores to a minimum, but she did do some cooking and random other things. The kids did the dishes and swept and mopped the floors. My son did the cooking. He was very good at it. Eventually he got a job and moved out. I miss them.
But then there’s my other son. The one who has a degree in culinary arts and makes his living as a chef.
And all the women in their lives LOVE their cooking because they’re good at it and because, strangely enough, none of the women in their lives think that cooking is only for women. Neither do all the men in their lives.
Funny thing, that.
Honestly I’m not one to make home made food for myself, and the homemade food I can make isn’t much too write home about or all that fancy save maybe my “Skyrim-inspired-style” Tomato Soup with leeks, some cream, dash of Garlic, chive and a few other things but… well it’s nice, both in flavor and presentation, but you can’t really mess up Tomato Soup too badly… so it’s not anything for me to say about other than “This is really nice Tomato soup: would anyone like some?”
And what’s more making food isn’t some one upsmenship for me to rub in peoples faces; it’s sustenance to fill my tummy, and that of my loved ones and make myself and aforementioned loved ones feel happy.
These guys seem to be missing the whole point of making food…
/delurks/
@TacticalProgressive
Can we *beg* you to post your Skyrim Soup recipe???
I am a sucker for nerd-food!