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MGTOWs and cooking go together like unidentifiable glop on rice

Don’t kiss THIS cook

By David Futrelle

Men Going Their Own Way are determined to let the world know that they really can go their own way — and that they neither need nor desire some dumb taks to take care of the basic tasks of life like, you know, cleaning, or preparing food for themselves.

They seem particularly invested in proving that they can cook at least as well as any dumb broad. And so from time to time they post recipes online — sometimes with pictures of the end results.

And while we may never get to see photos of the charred remains of chicken cooked the A Voice for Men way, or this slightly meat-heavy MGTOW pasta salad, the fellows on the MGTOW subreddit have been posting quite a few photos of their culinary creations and, well, I don’t exactly know how any of these taste, but let’s just say these fellas could work a little harder on the presentation.

Here in all its glory is what I can only call unidentified beige sauce on rice:

Here, allegedly, is a meatloaf:

Apparently the things on the left in this one are chicken breasts, enough for a whole week of identical meals. Or perhaps he’s starting a cult in his basement.

While the MGTOWs sometimes get adventurous and try things like Beef Wellington, most of the meals are either badly-cooked slabs of meat or some sort of glop on rice or pasta.

Other “recipes” barely count as cooking at all, except in the minimal sense of heating something up so you can eat it without dying of food poisoning. Here’s one fellow’s inspired BBQ feast:

This dude decided it was worth posting a picture of some sausage and fried eggs that he had miraculously been able to cook all on his own like a big boy.

I mean, yes, I’d eat that, but come on, dude, cooking eggs in sausage fat is really only a step or two above “making toast” as a culinary accomplishment.

Speaking of which, here’s one man’s, er, unique take on garlic toast.

Even some of the other MGTOWs were underwhelmed by this one. “Not trying to be rude bro,” one wrote, “but its bread with cheese melted on it.”

I know you all would be eager to chow down on any of these delicious-looking meals, but remember to save room for dessert!

“Made my first cake today,” the MGTOW who posted it wrote proudly. “Invest in yourself gentleman.”

Way to show the ladies just who’s the real chef around here!

Actually, I take that back. The real king of the kitchen isn’t a MGTOW or a lady. It’s this dude:

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

Re: Cluttery kitchen gadgets.

I, for one, praise the existence of these ready – made sacrifices to the Goddess Anoia.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
1 year ago

The problem is that many of them are too large to fit in drawers (or even to get stuck in them), and just take up counter space instead.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

Those Instant Pots are like some kind of cult, seriously. I’ve seen some of the forums dedicated to them and it’s scary.

This is a little (okay, a lot) less serious, but this reminds me of The Katering Show, and their episode on the Thermomix:
http://youtu.be/4yr_etbfZtQ

“Because you’ve always wanted to join a cult, but don’t have the energy for the group sex.”

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Paradoxical:

You might be interested in Maangchi then! She’s a Korean YouTuber who makes tons of dishes from Korea, including a laundry list of different kimchis!

It was Maangchi’s book that I got! Like you say, there’s loads of kimchi recipes, just a question of picking one and trying it out, really.

Oh, and that chicken dish on the cover? 😘👌 I don’t make it so much since going with a more plant-based diet but still… what was I saying about frying things in grease?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago


@Naglfar
:

Someone should put together a collection of the recipes in this thread and others in one place. It could be called We Cooked the Mammoth.

Would it be the world’s first… cuck-book? Eh? Eh?

Fine, I’ll see myself out…

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

MGTOW, I admit it. I was wrong. I complained that you never talked about your cool hobbies — but now David has enlightened us all.

Congratulations on the food.

It’s one more piece of evidence that you don’t need women. In fact, you should avoid us at all costs.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Penny

The problem is that many of them are too large to fit in drawers (or even to get stuck in them), and just take up counter space instead.

This is what happened in my house with the (surprise!) waffle iron. I rarely make waffles and contrary to what others say, I don’t use it for much else, so it just sits there taking up space.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Catalpa
I watched the episode you recommended, and I want to thank you for introducing me to The Katering Show. That will probably be my next YouTube binge.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

@Naglfar
I’m glad to hear you enjoyed it! It’s a great series! (One of these days I’ll actually figure it how to embed.)

Hambeast
Hambeast
1 year ago

Oh Alan, thanks SO much for those links!

I’d say I can’t choose which to try first, but I already have every flavor of Better Than Bullion my local store carries, so it has to be that one.

The roasted garlic is so yummy, and the seasoned veg base is great for hearty dishes. I really want to get my hands on the mushroom base, too.

I’m gonna try my local Whole Foods competitor to see what I can find before I order. Who knows? I might get lucky.

Naglfar said

Someone should put together a collection of the recipes in this thread and others in one place. It could be called We Cooked the Mammoth.

This is sheer brilliance.

Cat Mara – People are shipping Claire and Brad? I mean, they have a good working relationship and great rapport on camera, but doesn’t Brad have a partner and kids already?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Hambeast:

Cat Mara – People are shipping Claire and Brad? I mean, they have a good working relationship and great rapport on camera, but doesn’t Brad have a partner and kids already?

AFAIK, yes he does. But you know what shippers are like: all it takes is for two people to interact and they’re like “NOW KISS 😍😍😍”

numerobis
numerobis
1 year ago

I, for one, heartily support this trend of MGTOWs learning to cook.

Good for them. They’re making the world a better place by improving their skills and training others.

I’m actually not being sarcastic at all!

The part where it distracts them from their full-time job of harassing women is a nice bonus too.

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
1 year ago

Is that Titus Andronicus in the picture?

Lawrence Schuman
Lawrence Schuman
1 year ago

Don’t tell them, but the most Alpha thing of all to cook and eat is fugu. Just ask the Japanese. They would know from Alpha. All the MRA’s, Incells, MGTOWS, and a great many adjacent douche canoes should go all in on fugu. Try it professionally prepared first. If I were they I would do this by trying to barge into a Yakuza owned private restaurant. But it this doesn’t work (cuck much?) just go to a sushi place and sit at the counter and be a big racist asshole. And get drunk. And then start asking itame san for tips on making your own. Write it down on a napkin. And then go buy it from the internet, because god knows they don’t have it at Kroeger. Probably not even at Whole Foods. Not that they would go to such a place. And bring it back to the sad kitchenette in their depressing apartment. And assemble their garage sale cooking gear. And… Allez cuisine! Dine well, Alphas. Let the fish that samurai hesitate to taste cleanse you of all the cuckholdery.