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She’s a pretty-skinned Hollywood monster designed to destroy our youth: The 12 weirdest MAGA attacks on Miley Cyrus

Miley: Licking a cake, making MAGAs mad

By David Futrelle

There are few things MAGA Redditors love more than demonizing a woman. In The_Donald — Reddit’s main hangout for Trump fanboys, now quarantined for threats and doxxing — the regulars are as obsessed with Hillary as the man in the White House. And they relish mocking and smearing other female politicians they hate — which is most of them — from AOC to Nancy Pelosi.

The MAGAs also enjoy going after female celebrities — or at least that portion of them who’ve said negative things about their orange idol. It probably won’t surprise you that they despise Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer, But you might be a little surprised — I was — by the vehemence of their hatred for … Miley Cyrus.

They hate Miley for an assortment of reasons. She’s an overtly sexual — and openly bisexual — young woman who hates Trump and supports abortion rights. She dresses provocatively, sometimes wearing a strap-on dildo when she performs. She said she would move to another country if Trump was elected, but didn’t.

Not long ago she posed for a photo licking a cake emblazoned with the motto “Abortion is Healthcare.” MAGA Redditors hated the cake thing so much they posted and reposted the original photo and assorted photoshopped variants some two dozen times.

But some of the MAGA, er, “critiques” of Miley are a little stranger. Here are 12 of the weirdest MAGA takes on Miley. (And yes, it appears that most if possibly not all of these were meant seriously.)

She’s probably stinky

tvfilmNY 3 points 6 months ago 
Miley has that look like her ass smells like fish

She’s probably stinky (in a weirdly ethnic way)

tvfilmNY 1 point 2 days ago 
I bet she smells like Indian spices

She’s had, like, hundreds of abortions, maybe

CNN_Can_Dox_My_BallsSUPER ELITE 47 points 1 month ago 
That womb is a holocaust museum at this point.

She doesn’t even need abortions because she’s ruined her uterus with too much sex, or something

greatestamericaneverAMERICA FIRST 24 points 2 days ago 
Guarantee her whole bucket is so polluted, it won't even make babies.

Her ass is too mannish

UNDERCOVERxKITTYx 17 points 2 days ago 
that's a man's butt, and those are man legs, is this legit?

Her boobs, which do not look particularly fake, are “plastic”

MiyegomboBayartsogt 12 points 1 month ago 
Wait. Isn't this the current year pop whore of Babylon? Not sure any child would want to whelp on this wretched wench's plastic bosom.

She’s too old

She hit the wall at 19

She might be a zombie

She’s a created Hollywood monster, wearing pretty skin, designed to destroy our youth. There are hoards of them. The zombie apocalypse is here, they just look pretty instead of hideous. I’d rather be faced with hideous real zombies, since at least they are honest, inside and out.

She drinks the blood of aborted fetuses, making her more a vampire than a zombie

She and her lesbian stepmother Hillary Clinton just came out of the cave after drinking the blood of innocent abortion female babies, so she feels empowered to show off her freshly blood-cleansed skin.

She’s not even the real Miley:

MCGA2019CAN 3 points 7 months ago 
Rumour has it the pedo Hollywood elites killed the real Miley years ago and what you see now is some cloned version of her

She — assuming she is the real Miley Cyrus — is a “product of Disney” and also possibly a lizard person

big_red_balloon_MAGA 2 points 1 month ago 
What a vile creature. Can’t keep her lizard tongue in her mouth. Product of Disney.

There is one Miley-related issue on which MAGAhead Redditors disagree strongly: her pledge to not have children until global warming is fixed. While MAGAs hate even the mention of global warming, many say they’re glad that Miley won’t be “breeding.” But not all MAGAs agree:

myanimal3z 33 points 1 month ago 
The left are committing self Extinction. A true gift to the world.

permalinkunsavereportreply

[–]Alt_Chimp 1 point 1 month ago 
You're celebrating white genocide.

White people are already being outproduced proportionate to others, with white liberals having babies.

TFW your hunger for increased white baby production outweighs your hatred of Miley Cyrus.

That’s the sort of moral and ethical dilemma you might expect to find only on Stormfront or The Daily Stormer. But, nope, it’s on Reddit, in a subreddit with 775,000 subscribers. Because that’s how fucked we are.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Wait, I thought the wall was at 25. Now it’s 19? Pedophiles, sorry I mean ephebophiles, just keep getting more and more stringent with their standards.

Also, why are Miley and Hillary using female aborted fetus blood? Wouldn’t they want to use male fetus blood, because MISANDRY? /s

Anyway, once again The_Donald makes a strong showing for worst subreddit.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

why are the fetuses female? I’m also pretty sure at the early stages of pregnancy, where most abortions are performed, you can’t even tell the sex of the baby, or the sex hasn’t even developed yet.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

Occasionally a pop star briefly becomes the “darling” of the alt-right for entirely superficial reasons, and then when they find she’s not on their side, she becomes a traitor of the worst sort. Possibly this is what happened here.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
1 year ago

This makes me so mad. The people who write that stuff are awful. Thank you David for what you do because it must make you sick to read that stuff.

I think those awful guys write that stuff because they can’t stand a woman who is her true self.

I think a creative or artistic woman is what really threatens them.

Yes part of what upsets them is definitely how she dresses to perform. That is what really makes me so mad.

That’s why I see my outfits and my art as an act of resistance and I don’t care what anyone says.

Sorry this is kind of incoherent but I’m upset and want to get it out.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Gotta love fans of serial cheating, multiple divorce having Donald Trump slut shaming Cyrus.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
1 year ago

Looks like that last commenter doesn’t consider white liberals to be white people (aka human) either. Awfully interesting criteria they have for being in the ‘in’ group. 😛

Fenton
Fenton
1 year ago

They have no one to blame but themselves.

If the mostly conservative country-western listening public hadn’t gone all in for the musical staph infection known as “Achy Breaky Heart” Billy Ray Cyrus wouldn’t have forced his daughter into showbusiness for a second shot at fleeting relevance.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

I’d rather be faced with hideous real zombies since at least they are honest, inside and out.

Dude, you know that zombies are fictional, right?

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

I know when I think of zombies, it’s their scrupulous honesty which comes to mind first.

Amtep
Amtep
1 year ago

So they’re the ones who look at a young woman and go “mmmm… skinnn…”, but Miley Cyrus is supposed to be the monster.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Moggie
When I first think about zombies, I think about the millions of idiotic Americans who voted from Trump and continue to support him. Like, for example, the people on r/The_Donald.

Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

Indian spices?

If she smells like cardamom … mmm, cardamom.

‘Scuse me – I’m going to make some badam laddo.

reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
1 year ago

All of these are ridiculous, but Indian spices? Has that guy never had curry? Dhal? Indian food is delicious. Also the Miley is dead and it’s just a clone one is pretty much the storyline of the Black Mirror episode Miley starred in.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

I’m quite proud of myself for letting mention of zombies go by without doing what I always do, namely recommend that everyone should see the great Japanese indie film One Cut of the Dead (Kamera o tomeru na!).

…dammit…

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

Miley has that look like her ass smells like fish

Whoa, dude, sick burn! 🙄 How sour are those grapes on a scale of one to Xenomorphs-from-Aliens-movies-blood?

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

I had no idea that Miley Cyrus was so cool! We stan.

I hope that she doesn’t get subjected to too much vitriol for her principles.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Catalpa

I had no idea that Miley Cyrus was so cool! We stan.

Agreed. I still don’t like her music, but her politics seem to be good. At least her music’s better than her father’s abomination “Achy Breaky Heart.” My mother loved that song when I was growing up and I had to hear it in the car all the time. Maybe it’s just that I’m not into country music, but something about Billy Rae Cyrus’s hit seems exceptionally bad.

AcidTrial
AcidTrial
1 year ago

I gather that the one about Indian spices is supposed to be some kind of racist thing, given the source, but I question why they would assume that she would smell like that. MAGA logic, I guess.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Acidtrail

Considering these are people who think A tomato is spicy. Yes it was a racist remark.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Lainy

Considering these are people who think A tomato is spicy.

What? Tomatoes are not spicy. How could anyone think they were? Unless tomato has a double meaning I am unaware of.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Naglfar: She did a pretty banging cover version¹ of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” a few years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOwblaKmyVw

¹ Though, of course, everyone knows The Sisters of Mercy’s “Jolene” is the definitive cover version 😉

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
1 year ago

Maybe it’s just that I’m not into country music, but something about Billy Rae Cyrus’s hit seems exceptionally bad.

Hello, I’m very much into country music, and Achy Breaky Heart is jusr bad. Why it became such a massive hit is mystifying. It’s the Fifty Shades Of Gray of country music.

I don’t much like Miley’s pop output, but I like when she gets together with the likes of Joan Jett.

Also, the latest season of Black Mirror was not very good, but Miley as a tiny, foul-mouthed robot made me laugh.

cmh
cmh
1 year ago

@Lainy

why are the fetuses female? I’m also pretty sure at the early stages of pregnancy, where most abortions are performed, you can’t even tell the sex of the baby, or the sex hasn’t even developed yet.

They must have heard that all fetuses start female by default and turn male when certain hormones are released during pregnancy. I’m sure it’s more complicated then that, although I’m no expert, but it’s probably another example of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@LindsayIrene
I didn’t see that episode of Black Mirror, but I hear her cover of “Head Like a Hole” by Nine Inch Nails. It was…odd, seeing that song made poppy and upbeat.
Good to know I’m not the only person who despises “Achy Breaky Heart.”

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@ Cat Mara

While I have loved the Sisters of Mercy for 24 years, my favorite cover of Jolene is Janet Devlin’s. So many covers of that song go for wild emotion, but Devlin’s sounds like a woman at the end of her rope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GuHizph2YM

@ Amtep

So they’re the ones who look at a young woman and go “mmmm… skinnn…”, but Miley Cyrus is supposed to be the monster.

Insert Jaime Gumb quote here.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Allandrel: That was a very nice cover. I haven’t heard of the singer before but she even does some songs in Irish:

https://youtu.be/aGFQij9A-tE

“Drunken Lullaby”. She sings in Ulster Irish which is a bit hard for me to follow…

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
1 year ago

I suspect the Indian thing might be a reference to Billy Ray claiming to have Cherokee ancestry in his background, which to the best of my knowledge has neither been confirmed nor denied. A fast google search does indicate that he’s used his celebrity to help register Native Americans to vote, so that could be another thing the MAGA crowd holds against Miley.

The MAGAs also aren’t the first racists to mix Native American with folks from India, so there’s that layer too.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

O/T; but maybe people will find this funny.

It was our animal rights march the other weekend. There’s some anti-vegan Youtubers. They’re the ones who got prosecuted for eating raw squirrel at another vegan thing (you’d think the tummy trouble would be punishment enough).

But they turned up at the march. The police said they’d nick them though if they didn’t go away. That’s totally unlawful of course; but it’s a bit of state oppression I can live with.

And it’s their own fault for not having a better legal team 😉

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Alan Robertshaw
Those anti-vegans are something else. People complain about vegan animal rights protestors a lot, but in my experience vegans have never caused me any trouble (and most of the vegans I know online and in the real world are awesome people), while the anti-vegans tend to be total assholes and in your face about their meat consumption. You eat meat, we get it, please stop harassing me. Plus the stupid stunts like the squirrel thing.

I would imagine the average anti-vegan is some toxically masculine dude. “Me manly man! Me eat red meat!”

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

@Nagflar : lucky you. Somehow, I like the reminder by Alan Robertshaw that there are anti-vegan assholes too because it prove that level of obnoxiousness isn’t related to not eating meat.

Without entering too much in the details because they are, after all, a loud minority giving a bad name to an understandable movement, let’s say some vegan are way too loud and put way too much in the face of everyone else how *they* don’t have their hand bloodied with the life of innocent cute animals. That’s before the even more vocal minority that talk about attacking butcheries (some seem to do that according to the headlines)

(while different I don’t really see how the life of a tree is worth more or less than the live of a chicken. I guess that *do* make me biased vs vegans, which itself make me more likely to study their excess)

On a side note, I have seen somewhere somebody say a beverage wasn’t vegan because it was filtered with wood charcoal (“charbon de bois” in french in the original). Does someone have an explanation ?

unit_000
unit_000
1 year ago

@ Ohlmann

Charcoal may contain animal products, so it can;t be guaranteed vegan

C4twoman
C4twoman
1 year ago

Anyone claiming there are no strident obnoxious vegans either don’t get out much or are being less than honest. It is a trope even among vegans.

(And my vegan friends would like them to stop please)

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ev8q3e/why-people-hate-vegans-according-to-vegans

“I absolutely agree that the signage is obnoxious. Things like that, personally, kept me away from veganism for years until I met other intersectional POC vegans who provided me with literally a safe space (especially as a woman of color) to explore it without judgment, having my culture shat on, or obnoxious hounding.”

They’re the dietary version of sanctimonious cyclists.
Every group has these vocal “I’ll make change by being obnoxious” people. But it seems to be a canard that one always has a blind spot with ones own affinities.

For instance, I had no idea some of my fellow meat eaters would go out of their way to disrupt a pretty harmless peaceful protest. Seems like a waste of time. But obviously that is happening.

Still the straw carnivore is probably as common as the straw vegan: a few people fit the profile, but they tend to be young immature attention gettters.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StrawVegetarian

.02

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Why would you even want to eat raw squirrel? I don’t even let my dog eat raw squirrel.

varalys the dark
1 year ago

For me being vegan is so I don’t have to watch my nephews (2 and 5) spend their adult lives fighting over the last bottles of water in a razorwire thunderdome because climate change part fuelled by animal agriculture has fucked the planet over.

So yeah, I am pretty strident about it now. Playing nicey nice hasn’t worked. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win”. We’re at the fight stage now.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Eating revolting and possibly parasite-infested raw squirrel to own the libs.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@varalys
Honest question here, who is it you’re fighting?
I’m trying to parse your meaning and to me it looks like you’re saying you’re fighting non-vegans for choosing a diet different than yours, but that doesn’t square with what I know of you, so I’m just trying to understand you.

varalys the dark
1 year ago

I’m fighting for the planet, I’m fighting for the animals. Veganism isn’t a diet it’s an ethical stance defined as avoiding all animal exploitation. I just want to promote it, and the pushback by meat eaters, including studies funded by the animal ag industry is what I am fighting. Lots of misinformation is being disseminated against veganism (see today in fact where many news outlets are claiming vegans are deficient in a nutrient called choline, based on a egg industry funded opinion piece). I’m not fighting individual people for their choices. I just want people to have a honest picture of what veganism, or plant-based diet if you don’t care about the ethics is.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

Thank you for clarifying. Hope things are going well with you.

varalys the dark
1 year ago

Thanks, I’ve got some stressful stuff hanging over me, but I’m pretty zen right now.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

As well as the obvious animal exploitation and environmental cost of meat and dairy; there is also a human impact. 85% of starving and malnourished children live in countries that export food for for animal fodder; and the ethnic cleansing and genocide of indigenous people in the Amazon is so the meat industry can burn the forests to graze cattle and grow soy for animal feed.

Obviously though it’s a journey; no-one arrives fully formed as they say. We’re all imperfect humans doing the best we can.

I would ask people to consider this though; this site has used ‘puppy eater’ as an insult; yet lots of cultures do eat dog. It’s purely upbringing that dictates whether you eat baby dogs, or whether you eat lamb or veal. It’s strange though, that it’s the one bit of ‘othering’ that is ok here; we’d ever use ‘prefers pentatonic scale’ as an epithet.

comment image

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Just out of curiosity, how do vegans get vitamin B12?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

There is a British “celebrity chef” called Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall who has made a series of TV programmes and written some books on more sustainable modes of food production who once admitted that he had eaten squirrel. There are parts of the UK where squirrel numbers are such that they are considered pests (IIRC they eat tree saplings), especially the grey squirrel, which is an invasive species in the British Isles and displacing the native red squirrel, to the point where their numbers have to be culled. As far as he was concerned, it was taking advantage of a protein source that would otherwise have been discarded, similar to the arguments made by the “freegan” movement. Of course, the tabloid newspapers didn’t see it that way, who wrote articles headlined, “ZOMG Top Chef Eats Tufty The Squirrel Shock Horror!!!1!” 🙄

Personally, I cook most of the food I eat from scratch and I have been eating vegetarian and vegan a lot lately. I still eat meat if I’m out or visiting friends or relatives because I don’t want to put people out, but it’s becoming more and more evident to me that, like it’s said that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, that goes double for food. Especially in Ireland where the beef lobby is so strong, they receive massive subsidies from our Government and the EU, while being the largest contributor to Ireland not meeting our carbon targets– and engaging in active climate-change denial at the same time! Screw them.

varalys the dark
1 year ago

Supplements, fortified plant milks and cereals, nutritional yeast etc

The majority of B12 supplements are used in the animal ag industry, the conditions the cattle are kept in has them producing very little B12 of their own so they are injected with the supplement.

It’s estimated that around 40% of Americans are B12 deficient and they sure ain”t all vegans.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ Naglfar

I do like Marmite; so that’s a B12 source; but also I don’t wash fruit and veg; so I probably get enough B12 just from the earth residue still left on sweet potatoes and the like. Seriously; that’s how a lot of people got their B12 in t’olden days.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Alan:

85% of starving and malnourished children live in countries that export food for for animal fodder

That is something not emphasised enough IMO. For example, during the Great Famine in Ireland between 1845 and 1847 which resulted in the deaths of one million people, the emigration of another million, and whose demographic impact is still being felt (and which, BTW, was small potatoes– sorry– compared to some of the famines in places like India and Africa that have happened in living memory), Ireland remained a net exporter of food! Very few of the famines that have struck countries across the world have been the result of natural causes– they have been exacerbated by political and/or economic doctrines prevailing at the time.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ cat mara

Great Famine

Yeah; that was of course, like the Amazon situation now, weaponised food production.

You seen this btw? I know you already know all this; but it’s very well presented.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Alan Robertshaw
Why don’t you wash fruit? Don’t you get pesticides and stuff then?

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

@Alan Robertshaw: It has been pointed out that this xkcd comic is somewhat deceptive (though not intentionally so) in the sense that if you made every human vegan and got rid of all the pets and livestock, the number of wild mammals would maybe double. If you got rid of the humans as well, they’d maybe triple. Humans and livestock are displacing wild land animals to a significant extent, reducing their numbers, but not directly replacing them – it is due entirely to modern farming methods that such massive amounts of mammalian biomass exists at all.

(Not making, or pushing, any sort of moral values or judgement here; just providing perspective.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ naglfar

Why don’t you wash fruit?

I’d like to pretend it’s some moral stance; or for health reasons or something; but basically I’m just lazy.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ snowberry

Someone has done an updated version that adds ants into the mix; and that’s pretty amazing. I seem to recall also that there’s a theory, by ‘proper’ scientists, that the bulk of biomass might actually be subsurface bacteria.