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empathy deficit entitled babies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny vaginas

Dude baffled that women refuse to answer what “besides a warm mouth and a vagina” they bring to a relationship

Not … gonna … answer … that

By David Futrelle

The internet has answers to almost any question under the sun. Trouble is, not only are most of the answers wrong, but a lot of the questions themselves are, well, pretty fucking terrible.

Consider the case of this fellow, who turned to the commenters on AskMen.com with a query whose answer was already contained within the question itself.

Why do so many women have a hard time answering this question?
Girl's I've been dating I've asked the question of "Besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?" I also add in the fact that I can cook, clean, pay bills, and handle the other domestic responsibilities myself. So far, only one woman has given anything remotely worth listening to. The others either can't answer the question, never thought about the question, or just stop talking to my all together. I took this to an international group as well, and even they were stumped.

Dude, the women didn’t answer the question “besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?” because you asked them the question “besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?”

If you’re asking a question so misogynistic and dehumanizing that it repeatedly causes the women you’re dating to no longer speak with you, the problem isn’t the women, it’s the question — or, more to the point, the person asking the question.

Hope that helps!

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Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

The best dating advice I can give misogynists is to stop trying to date women. No woman wants to date a man like this, and I certainly hope men like this don’t have children and make more misogynists.

Judging purely by the name, I thought askmen.com would be a resource for women to ask questions of men, not men to ask other men. Either way, it sounds like it would quickly devolve into a troll circle jerk.

Monday Middlemarch
Monday Middlemarch
2 years ago

Yep – I’m going there…if I were a young dating woman again…

“Besides a hard penis, what would you bring to the table?”

I have a job, roof over my head, car to drive… I pay bills, cook, clean, and anything else I need repaired in the home can be taken care of by hiring a professional service.

I also have sex toys for pleasure and could, if I wanted to, purchase sperm in order to conceive a child without the hassle of a man being in the picture. Also, I could sleep well in the knowledge that my husband/boyfriend would not rape, abuse or kill me or my children.

Sounds like a lot of man-hating, feminazi shit, doesn’t it?

The man in my life brings love, compassion, humor and companionship to the table because he’s a human fucking being. This dude really should look into becoming one.

TheKND
TheKND
2 years ago

Well, I’m not a woman, so won’t ever be asked that question. But my answer would be “Your face” and then I smash his face into the table.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Anyone who would ask what someone brings to the table is automatically undateable. You date someone because you like them. Clearly the concept of just liking a woman as a person is foreign to him. Why would any woman want to try and prove her worth to him.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

I can boil water with rocks

Ariblester
Ariblester
2 years ago

Naglfar wrote on
August 27, 2019 at 5:01 pm:

Judging purely by the name, I thought askmen.com would be a resource for women to ask questions of men, not men to ask other men. Either way, it sounds like it would quickly devolve into a troll circle jerk.

Checked it out. It’s apparently the online forum/Q&A section of a men’s magazine, there are a variety of questions (men asking other men, women asking men), and the answers given are overwhelmingly pushing back against the OP.

OP also indicates that rewording the question to remove references to body parts has not changed the “quality” of the responses (uh huh), and that he usually asks this after they ask “what are we” with regards to their relationship, and that he’s never driven off any woman by asking that question 🤔.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

O/T; but arty Brit mammotheers might like this one; and the Haywood is a great gallery; even if it does make an east European Cold War cement works look like the Louvre.

https://www.artfund.org/whats-on/exhibitions/2019/06/12/kiss-my-genders-exhibition

Otrame
Otrame
2 years ago

I think it’s very considerate of the guy to ask that question. It immediately tells a woman the she needs to get the hell away from him.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
2 years ago

Well, as a response to “what are we?”, that would certainly tell me everything I needed to know 0.0

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
2 years ago

Weasel-Rah wrote on
August 27, 2019 at 8:02 pm:

Well, as a response to “what are we?”, that would certainly tell me everything I needed to know 0.0

Right? “We are done.”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Come on, what woman doesn’t enjoy trying to prove to her skeptical date that she’s more sentient than a kitchen appliance?

I also add in the fact that I can cook, clean, pay bills, and handle the other domestic responsibilities myself.

If his date also can do those things, then why is she the redundant one? Why is it up to her to prove her worth to someone who’s so basic, he pats himself on the back for knowing how to perform routine adult chores?

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
2 years ago

I can bring kindness, joy, and artistic expression to the world in ways that he will never know. And he can stay far away from the rest of us as long as he talks like that.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
2 years ago

I think it’s safe to say that, with respect to the OP, I’m not even bringing a warm mouth and a vagina to the table. Orifices are firmly off the table.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
2 years ago

When I was doing online dating, I always kinda loved these sort of people. It was such an easy ‘next’ and no need to waste any further time debating compatibility or setting up a date to test chemistry.

Like anyone – I bring to the table a whole range of pluses and minuses which may or may not work with someone else’s. I found someone whose hand complements mine. Except on the tidiness front – but hey ho, at least we’re tolerant of each others’ faults there.

@lainy I’m not sure either of us can boil water with rocks, but I’d sure like to try. Good skill.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Girl’s I’ve been dating I’ve asked the question of “Besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?”

An understanding of the difference between singular and plural, not to mention the difference between possessive and plural.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Girl’s I’ve been dating I’ve asked the question of “Besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?

The ability to foretell your immediate future.

Fenton
Fenton
2 years ago

“I have a keen instinct for spotting red flags and emotional dumpster fires. In related news, I’m going to go outside for an unspecified reason and time without you.”

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
2 years ago

“Besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?”

comment image

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

comment image

Sarity
Sarity
2 years ago

“As of now for you, nothing.”

Yes, it’s truly a mystery why women would be put off by being assumed by default worth no more than her body parts unless you can be persuaded otherwise. Doesn’t speak at all of an obnoxious asshole who believes off the top that he’s above you.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
2 years ago

Dude, I have a house, very easy to use mass transportation, I’m a performer, my mom is a chef and taught me how to cook, I can clean my own house and do my own laundry. Oh, you say that I didn’t mention a job? That’s because I don’t have just a “job”, I run my own business.

LG
LG
2 years ago

I’m recovering from a dumping right now that (I’m pretty sure) happened because I was caretaking my dying grandma for three months and my boyfriend just wasn’t “feeling very loved” and determined it was because I was taking my feminism too far.

Even when they’re not being such total trash as the guy above, they still have no goddamn clue what the score is and refuse to see all the work we do to hold their emotions and our relationships together.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
2 years ago

@LG: that’s awful, I’m so sorry that happened to you.

The selfishness of some people…

LG
LG
2 years ago

Thanks. It was such an extraordinary display of projection because yeah, I’d been getting frustrated that after five years together, he was still showing no signs of being willing to work on his sexist mental blocks and yeah, the stress of the caretaking was making me a bit less than eternally and perfectly fucking patient about it.

But he wouldn’t hear a word I said about how the caretaking dynamic was affecting things and could he please be patient with me or, maybe, could we please just take a month of no-contact while I mourn her death before we have this nasty fight about how I’m so scary and intimidating and man-hating and that’s the source of all the problems in our relationship?

Nope.

Reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
Reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
2 years ago

Bold of this guy to assume that in a world of easily obtainable sex toys that he brings anything of value to a relationship.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Ariblester

the answers given are overwhelmingly pushing back against the OP.

They seem to be pushing back, but none of them seem willing to call out the misogyny by name.

@Yutolia

That’s because I don’t have just a “job”, I run my own business.

That’s cool. What does your business do?

@LG
I’m sorry about your grandmother and I’m sorry your boyfriend was such an asshole.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
2 years ago

@Naglfar:

I board dogs. I work with what I call “special needs” dogs – ones that can’t be kept in kennels because of psychological or medical reasons. It’s amazing and horrifying how many of these dogs are rescues who were abused.

I also go to people’s houses and do puppy care and training during the day. I sometimes work with other animals as well. I’ve had some cat and bird clients, but I don’t board cats – they have a tendency to freak out when in a strange place and either run away or pee all over everything or scratch and shred everything or some combination of these, as I’m sure many of you know.

Ariblester
Ariblester
2 years ago

Naglfar wrote on
August 28, 2019 at 9:29 am:

@Ariblester

the answers given are overwhelmingly pushing back against the OP.

They seem to be pushing back, but none of them seem willing to call out the misogyny by name.

Yeah, it seems to be a taboo thing on most of the web to call something “misogynist” when it clearly is. I imagine it’s because, like “racist”, it is considered too strong a term to use in civil discourse (not that I agree at all).

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
2 years ago

@LG:

I understand the care taking dynamic. Your boyfriend should have shown up for you. My mom and I were my grandmother’s sole caretakers for many years – she had dementia and lived to 102. It’s awful and exhausting in a way that only people who’ve done it can understand.

My dad always supported us. My grandmother hated him and wouldn’t let him help her at all, but he always found ways to support us, even if it was just confronting her when she would yell at us about how bad we were.

My ex couldn’t have been bothered. He would sit and pretend to listen then rationalize my grandmothers behavior. He wouldn’t come help with anything even though we were together for many years, but always about an hour into DOING ANYTHING outside the house, he would start calling and texting and basically blow up my phone about how I wasn’t getting home fast enough and waaaah I don’t pay any attention to him.

I’m so sorry this kind of shit happened to you too.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

I read the “askmen” post… I did receive SOME benefit, in this comment….:

“…approach this with the precision and subtlety of a horny rhino humping a Toyota yaris hatchback”

🙂

ByeBob
ByeBob
2 years ago

Wow. Does this guy have a mom? Did he ask his mom that question, too? Did his dad treat his mom like an orifice playground? How about his sister? Would it be okay if his sister was treated like that? How does a guy’s head get so twisted his basic human empathy becomes so hopelessly lost. I hope his female relatives are all safe and far away from him.

Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
2 years ago

Bold of this guy to assume that in a world of easily obtainable sex toys that he brings anything of value to a relationship.

Quite.

Lakitha Tolbert
Lakitha Tolbert
2 years ago

Yeah, its a trick question. I don’t think it’s his real question at all.

The real question he wants to ask, but just cant come right out and say is: What skills do you possess that I can take full advantage of while offering nothing in return? Can you cook? Can you clean my house? Can you sew and iron my clothing? What non-sex services are you willing to offer me in exchange for some dick?

That’s the actual question.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
2 years ago

Hm, what do I bring to the table?

VAGINA DENTATA!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
2 years ago

Off topic : M. johnson is basically trying a coup in the UK.

He is probably too incompetent to pull it off. I hope.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@ByeBob
What does this dude’s female relatives have to do with anything? If he had no female relatives would it be understandable for him to ask this?

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Ohlmann
I heard about suspending parliament. What does this mean for England and Brexit?

@kupo
The way I read the comment, it seemed like ByeBob was suggesting that the OP should, at the very least, see how demeaning this would be to his mother or sister, and by extension, to all women.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
2 years ago

@Nagflar : his intention is to suspend parliament for long enough to get out of the European union without parliament’s interference. He detourn a custom to do that.

At a first glance, that won’t be enough to silence Parliament yet, even if it probably can complicate the task of his opponent a lot.

The thing being, even outside of the fact that no-deal brexit is a catastrophe for the UK, will he stop there ? If the parliament refuse his confidence or pass a law to force him to seek an extension, will he obey ? That’s what worry me. We probably don’t want a dimwit like him have the power without any oversight in the UK, or in any other country.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

The way I read the comment, it seemed like ByeBob was suggesting that the OP should, at the very least, see how demeaning this would be to his mother or sister, and by extension, to all women.

I agree that’s the intention, but, as a woman, it’s demeaning that people constantly appeal to horrible people by reminding them that they have female relatives, as if the only way a man could find humanity in a woman is if he personally benefits from a relationship with her. And yes, it’s a common thing for men to suddenly realize how awful other men are towards women once they have daughters, but we certainly shouldn’t be encouraging that. We should stop short at demanding women be respected as human beings because women are human.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@Byebob

the somebody’s daughter thing is what I call an attempt but still horrible. women and girls don’t need to be treated like their human because their somebody’s, they need to be treated like their humans because they are somebody. Their a human, and their humanity should not be acknowledged because of ownership. Plus you are under the base line assumption that they would actually care about the women in their lives. Men that write things like this, the men that david writes post after post about, generally do not. Because they hate women, they would hate her even if they owned her. This has been my ted talk, and I hope this made you see why you are getting backlash for your comment.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

I had something nice today that I wanted to tell you guys. My history teacher’s birthday was today. He turned 54 years old and he came into class today wearing a green kilt because damnit it was his birthday today and he wanted to wear his favorite kilt. Just something that made me smile and I hope it could do the same for you guys.

Kevin
Kevin
2 years ago

@ Ohlmann & Naglfar

Little green alien: ‘Take me to your leader!’ Me: ‘This way to Downing Street. Remember to bring that ray gun with you!’

Nequam
Nequam
2 years ago
Sheila Crosby
2 years ago

“Besides a warm mouth and a vagina, what would you bring to the table?”

“Self respect. Goodbye.”

Yeah, I was going to ask @Alan:

A) What, if anything, is there to stop Boris being a dictator indefnitely?

B) Has parliament been disolved like this since Cromwell?

We were told that we need to leave the EU bacause they EU’s not democratic. “Take back control” my backside!

ByeBob
ByeBob
2 years ago

@Naglfar
You surmised my intent correctly. Thank you.

@kupo and @Lainy

Please understand no disrespect is now, nor ever intended. Any suggestion that apologist thinking is ok with me is patently false. My intent behind my post was me (as a single woman and having encountered this same thought process too often to count) trying to see through the eyes and poor logic and try to understand how the OP got to that statement.
The first striking thought that stood out to me was at some point this person was a toddler and probably had a mother who cared for him and fed him. Whom he likely loved and trusted. I could not fully process how the OP could apparently never grow past the “Mother is Mother, not woman, not person, not individual with hopes/feelings/thoughts/rights beyond her role in his life, which is to nurture and serve him”. I could not process how this poster could miss a very simple stage in emotional growth and it stunned me. I’ve not spent a ton of time trying to see things through misogynist eyes before, simply because why? But I did today because I’m starting to wonder “How does this start and what can be done to prevent it in the future”. (I’m an engineer and I think in fixit terms; it’s just the way I initially process data.)

My off the cuff post was just shock that the simple acknowledgement that most of us grew into as we aged, that our most cared for and loved women in our lives were greater than the sum of their roles. They are complete people, complicated humans, who are far more than their relationship to us. Most folks experience this during the terrible times of teen angst. Dad isn’t a hero anymore; Mom is more than sandwiches, scraped knees, and rides to the mall.

How did the OP miss this important stage in development. How can he not see it through an (apparently offensive) simple personal question to himself. “Is what I’m saying right now OK if it were applied by Dad to Mom?”

I wasn’t making any generalizations about women, their roles in society, nor trying to undermine their vast value. I do appreciate the feedback and will take it to heart, but please take mine as well. I will never apologize nor accept the type of thinking, speaking, or acting that the OP displayed. I also find your posts and comments over the past month I’ve lurked here to be completely in line with my own, so please take mine with the presumption of innocence.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
2 years ago

@Lainy

I love that story about your history teacher! That so made me smile!

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ Lainy:

wearing a green kilt because damnit it was his birthday today and he wanted to wear his favorite kilt.

… commando style?

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved

Last Halloween he came to class in full roman armor complete with helmet.

@Weird Eddie

How on earth would I possibly know that? I’m not in habit of looking up anyone skirts.

Snowberry
Snowberry
2 years ago

@ByeBob:

Wow. Does this guy have a mom? Did he ask his mom that question, too? Did his dad treat his mom like an orifice playground? How about his sister? Would it be okay if his sister was treated like that?

While the asker above might not identify as an incel or run in those circles, for an awful lot of incels, the answer is yes. Except they wouldn’t bother to ask that, they’d just assume. And the worst of the worst are also occasionally mad that their close female relatives aren’t available for them to “use”. You may now proceed to barf.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
2 years ago

Can confirm that mysoges treat their female relatives like shit as well. At least the ones I’m related to do.