Incels now oppressed by women breaking eye contact with them

@Wetherby
The only time wrist circumference has ever affected me is when watch or bracelet shopping. I think my wrists are about average, seeing as most other people’s wrists are about the same size visually.

@Lainy

Human beings are such squishy things of emotions that can be so hard to understand, even when you are one of them.

They sure are. I just do what I think is best, and hope I’m doing the right thing.

I also like how many incels claim to be “socially awkward” but here they are, performing social cues and demanding them of people who don’t.

@Lainy

I often wonder if my adhd was misdiagnosed when I was younger and if I’m actually autistic.

Autism is often misdiagnosed in girls, so that’s a definite possibility, and it seems like some of what you described aligns with typical symptoms. If you are autistic, welcome to the club. I know a number of the commenters here are also on the spectrum.

I also like how many incels claim to be “socially awkward” but here they are, performing social cues and demanding them of people who don’t.

Many incels seem to claim social awkwardness as an excuse for their misogyny. I know plenty of people who are socially awkward (including myself) who have learned to work around it to varying degrees, and most of them are not misogynistic assholes. The problem these incels have isn’t social awkwardness, it’s aggrieved entitlement.

@Ariblester

A tip they taught us in negotiation, where maintaining eye contact can be important, is to just focus on the bridge of the other person’s nose. It appears the sam as eye contact to the recipient.

Another thing to remember is, a lot of this is cultural. Judges here get a thing called the Bench Book. It reminds them, inter alia, that whilst in traditional British culture avoiding eye contact is seen as a sign of evasiveness and dishonesty, in a lot of cultures it’s seen as a sign of deference and respect.

@Naglfar

That is what another poster said, but the point stands that if someone hates women that much, why do they want eye contact with them?

Well, it’s hard to convince yourself that you won the imaginary power struggle and succeeded in making the other person feel inferior, if they stop looking at you.

It would be one thing if they were sad about feeling invisible and wanted help improving their conversational skills, but these guys treat every interaction like a zero sum game where the woman is always the loser no matter what. If she maintained eye contact, or was otherwise forced to interact with him, then he’d find some way of ruining her day and then boast about his victory to his online buddies. If she’s just minding her business, trying to get through her day, an incel will still make it all about themselves regardless.

…and let’s not overlook the ‘fun’ that is PTSD misdiagnosed as ADHD.

(Or you can be *super* lucky like me and have both. Whee. Thank dog for SNRIs…)

Gee, they wouldn’t know what to do with a friend of mine. And there are multiple issues that lead to completely involuntary breaking of eye contact.

I had a friend in University who had albinism. There are common side effects to the visual system from that, and one of the side effects he had was very ‘twitchy’ eyes, so it was hard to tell where he was looking. The Wikipedia page on ‘Albinism in humans’ lists ‘Nystagmus’ as one of the side effects that matches what he had. Needless to say, he wore dark glasses a lot.

It’s when facing someone like this and getting a bit of an ‘uncanny valley’ effect that you find yourself confronting your own expectations of what is ‘normal’.

At least, if you have an ounce of introspection.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve spent more walking time looking more towards the horizon than where I’m just about to step. At the same time, I seem to get a bit too relaxed in certain aspects, and wind up walking through a slight blur as I alternate my esotropia at whoever might be heading in my general direction. Very much singular eye contact, if any, and not necessarily with the one I’m looking through at that particular moment.

(I think my ADD helped me keep both eyes active enough so that neither got “turned off”; endless fun making everything jump a little to the left, then back to the right, then over to the left… [No pelvic thrusts, though])

I had a friend in University who had albinism. There are common side effects to the visual system from that, and one of the side effects he had was very ‘twitchy’ eyes, so it was hard to tell where he was looking. The Wikipedia page on ‘Albinism in humans’ lists ‘Nystagmus’ as one of the side effects that matches what he had. Needless to say, he wore dark glasses a lot.

Visual impairments tend to mess with eye contact rules. I look at someone’s face (or rather, through it) because at about a metre I can see where the eyes are supposed to be but it’s not contact (and then I count down). Sometimes I mentally make a point-down triangle that I trace with my eyes (both eyes and tip of the nose as points). Hell if I know what the other person is looking at.

Then there’s those with macula degeneration. Then you have to look besides someone’s face because the middle of your vision deteriorates to a point where it’s just the edges that you can see with. What makes it even more fun is that in a lot of cases, someone cannot see that your eyesight doesn’t work properly.

Anyway, dang incels, there’s many more than one reason women (and others for that matter) break eye contact. Your disgustingness isn’t necessarily a factor as it isn’t automatically apparent until you start spewing your nonsense.

Link

It’s official: Incels are easier to oppress than Christians. With Christians, all you have to do is say “Happy Holidays.” But with incels, all you have to do is not look directly at them.

Oh for pity sake…..

Eye contact is not a staring match. It is part of communication. You don’t lock eyes constantly, trying to out glare each other. Yes, long stares are considered part of threat display/challenges, even with humans. In particular predatory, exploitative humans often do this on purpose. They are trying to dominate or make a connection.

Healthy eye contact is a series of mini glances, checking in with the person’s face and the mood they’re communicating. Obviously that sounds weird and don’t try to imitate a strict description because you’ll look strange. Beside the eyes are flickering mostly unconsciously. Do better to pick someone you like and respect who has good social skills and watch them as they speak with others. This is virtually how we learned everything anyway. (and of course frequency, etc varies in culture as has been noted by others).

Being “on the spectrum” is not an excuse to be too lazy to change habits if they actual impede function or consistently land one in awkward situations. Isn’t that the flaw of MGTOW/MRAs so called logic, not doing anything to improve their lot?

I have spectrum traits too. And was barely socialized by dumb adults. And somehow I managed to figure this out to the point strangers can’t tell how much work it was.

No one should have to do it on their own, but if you don’t it won’t get done. And for a bunch of legit smart people to not know “eye contact” does not mean STARING at length… it’s a bit hard to believe.