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Incels continue to be baffled by lesbians, refuse to believe they exist

That’s what you think, lady!

By David Futrelle

Today’s insight into lesbianism comes from the Braincels subreddit, where the regulars believe that lesbianism is just a “meme,” and that there are literally no women in the world who would prefer the touch of a woman, however lovely, to the sexual attentions of a beefy Chad.

Some incels have clearly thought this whole theory through in a bit more detail than most of their peers. Like, for example, this dude:

they're also still obviously attracted to men. lesbianism is just extreme degeneracy, when a girl has been alpha widowed and finds 'beta comfort' in her female friends instead of a beta male and they twist that need into a perversion, desperately trying to replace that lost chad intimacy with her new comfort provider. of course women cannot actually perform this role like a beta male can, so she ends up becoming even more mentally unsound and that's why all lesbian relationships are a fraudulent disaster.. they are trying to force something that is unnatural.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that none of that is correct.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, an “alpha widow” is a lady who has previously gotten it on with some alpha Chad and who therefore can never against be satisfied with betas of any gender. I’m going to go out on a limb again and say that this isn’t really a thing either.

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Miri
Miri
1 year ago

As a lesbian myself, I can vouch that this is TOTALLY true.

(MAJOR SARCASM)

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
1 year ago

I literally can’t imagine any of my lesbian friends in relationships with men.

ColeYote
ColeYote
1 year ago

Yeah, well I don’t think women exist. It’s all an elaborate prank the Normies™ are pulling on incels to make them dwell on their inability to get something that isn’t actually real.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

I find it strange that most people are willing to cut off half their potential dating pool. Asexuals are at least easier to understand than monosexuals.

But, ya know, I find it even stranger that there are people who don’t accept that others with different needs and preferences exist. It’s like, if I were straight, and I believed that since I’m not into women, nobody is… so therefore all men are really gay. That would clearly be not correct.

personalpest
personalpest
1 year ago

With so many Manospherians and other assholes around, sometimes I wonder why every woman isn’t a lesbian.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Snowberry

I find it strange that most people are willing to cut off half their potential dating pool.

I’ve kind of wondered about this too. When I was younger, before I really understood sexuality at all (it’s not like I understand it fully now either) I was somewhat confused that most people were attracted to one gender or the other while I was into both/all. Apparently most people aren’t pansexual (though I would imagine that more people are bi/pan than the number that are out currently).

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

I find it strange that most people are willing to cut off half their potential dating pool. Asexuals are at least easier to understand than monosexuals.

????????
It’s not a choice. How are we having to explain this still in 2019??

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

Isn’t the inability to grasp how other people’s sexuality works a good part of the reason why incels are incels to begin with?

Bakunin
Bakunin
1 year ago

The existence of straight women is proof sexuality is not a choice

Savanah
Savanah
1 year ago

Excuse me, but what collapsed and condemned sewage system on fire did these guys get this from?

Just…wow.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@kupo, Bakunin
I’m not implying that people choose sexualities and I understand that it’s not a choice and that none are inherently better or worse than others. I was simply reflecting on a naïve thing I used to think that mirrored Snowberry’s comment. I’m sorry if I have offended anyone.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Naglfar
fwiw, I didn’t have any issue with your comment.

gijoel
gijoel
1 year ago

@Vaiyt their ‘ignorance ‘ is more about feeding their aggrieved entitlement and ‘victimhood ‘ than a poor grasp on sexuality and relationships.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply it was a choice. I meant that it feels like one from my perspective because it *would* be a choice on my part (and a pointlessly limiting one) but intellectually, of course I know it’s not. The part with alternate-reality-straight-me deciding that men must be gay was supposed to hint at how stupidly wrong it would be to think like that for real, but it probably would have been better to state that clearly. Particularly since we’re discussing incels who think everyone’s really their warped idea of straightness deep down, but can choose to opt out of it anyway if one’s reproductive options are poor? Which is basically God making a burrito he can’t eat but eating it anyway, for whatever sense that makes.

varalys the dark
1 year ago

I mean I’m a “disaster lesbian” as the term goes. But not because I was ruined by a gigachad in my youth. Incels… bless.

Sophist
Sophist
1 year ago

I guess this guy’s never heard of gold-star lesbians.

Mabret the Virile Maiden
Mabret the Virile Maiden
1 year ago

There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in manospherian philosophy.

Bina
1 year ago

Once again, I’m reminded of an obnoxious mansplainer who used to be my sister’s boyfriend, and who was of the opinion that lesbians are gay because they’re “hardcore”, as in “haven’t been fucked hard enough by some shitty dude (like me)”.

I use the past tense for a reason, obvs.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
1 year ago

@Bakunin

The existence of straight women is proof sexuality is not a choice

I needed that. Thanks!

ThingsComeUndone
ThingsComeUndone
1 year ago

there are literally no women in the world who would prefer the touch of a woman, however lovely, to the sexual attentions of a beefy Chad.

So guys who can’t get a date think Women who prefer Women can be brought around by an Alpha Guy?
But if they can’t get dates and Beta guys can then just what do they call themselves? losers?
These guys obviously don’t get out much have they ever met a Lesbian Couple?
These guys have never been in love, and well are they capable of falling in love? It should have happened to them at least once by now if they got working hormones and have had some social contact with a female.
If you have been in love you can recognize sometimes when other people are in love Straight or LGBT you see someone is in love with someone else you move on and don’t waste your time.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

How does being dumped by an alpha male make these women want to drive Subarus?

ThingsComeUndone
ThingsComeUndone
1 year ago

Define Alpha male and why would an Alpha give Women more intimacy?
Alpha leader, dominant is my understanding of the term, wether its Genghis Khan or Napoleon both had lots of Women besides their wives.

Intimate close, you feel for that person, you would sacrifice for that person and they would do the same for you thats how you build trust.
Sure people cheat and couples decide wether to work through it and stay together or split.
But Alphas are Man Whores cheating multiple times just means you don’t care about your partners feelings therefore you’re not intimate, in love.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
1 year ago

@ThingsComeUndone:

Of course they’ve never been in love. To love, you need to consider someone else’s needs and happiness to be as important as your own – to be an integral part in your own happiness.
These guys are not able to see beyond their own skulls (and those skulls are firmly up their asses, further inhibiting view). How could they love another person, when they only see other people as things?

LollyPop
LollyPop
1 year ago

I know these guys don’t like women (understatement), but they do claim to fancy them – why would it be such a leap of faith to imagine other women might too?

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
1 year ago

(Also, regarding ThingsComeUndone’s second post: I don’t think alphas need to come into it; they’re more or less an incel invention anyway.)

TheKND
TheKND
1 year ago

@LollyPop
At this point I get the impression that incels don’t even fancy women. They seem to be more interested in the mystical Chadness. And before anyone says it: NO, I don’t mean that they are actually gay or some other homophobic stuff.
I just think that they have fetishized the concept of the Chad so much, that everything is in reference to it. Stacies are Stacies because they get the Chad, Beckies are Beckies because they don’t get the Chad and Betas are Betas because they are not the Chad.
That’s why lesbians are so weird to this guy. They are not somehow related to the Chad and therefore anathema. Basically, they have perfectly identified toxic masculinity and turned it into a cult that worships it.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

Today’s insight into lesbianism comes from the Braincels subreddit.

The braincels are the smarter incels.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
1 year ago

@kat
Are you sure? or are they the “bra incels”?

I’ll make sure to tell the two women I know who fell in love at the age of 19, and are still together in their 40s with an adopted daughter, that all that money they spent on their wedding didn’t make Chad jealous and they should give up now. It’ll defo be good for a laugh over a glass of wine.

Also, considering some of the experiences I’ve had with men, if I could choose my sexuality I would definitely be a lesbian. No question.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

Sooooo, is believing lesbians don’t real grounds for us kidnapping these guys, sticking them in A Clockwork Orange-style no-blinking machine, and making them watch a Rose & Rosie YouTube marathon? Asking for a friend (cough)

dashapants
dashapants
1 year ago

@Moggie

LOL^2

@TheKnd

Eventually, centuries from now, internet archeologists will unearth Chad cargo cult screeds, extolling Chad’s noble brow and square jaw whereby he led all the Stacies and Beckies into the wilderness after delivering the pizza or washing the car or trimming the hedges or whatnot.

Katamount
1 year ago

You know, I kinda have to put some of the blame for the amount of pop culture involving men “turning lesbians straight.” Chasing Amy and Gigli leap to mind. What is it with Ben Affleck being the vehicle for this crap?

But speaking of those wacky incels, I sometimes put Forensic Files on in the background while I play games and one of the episodes was a string of random bombings that occurred in Grand Junction, Colorado in 1991. A man named James Genrich was arrested for the crime in 1992 based on what is now being claimed is faulty forensic work. But the case aside, the episode highlighted some of Genrich’s writings, ostensibly to himself as some kind of anger management therapy, and as I heard it, I had to put my game on pause because it was textbook incel shit.

“If I end up killing some stuck-up bitch don’t blame me. I’ve asked everybody I know for help, but no one listens…. I’ve tried making friends with these girls around here, but they just keep treating me like I’m not good enough to talk to. Valentine’s Day is coming and I still don’t have a sweetheart…. It’s been over a year now, and nobody has tried to help me yet. These girls still won’t even talk to me. Fuck you all. I’ll get even…. If I can’t be happy, I might as well kill one.”

That was scrawled on the back of an envelope that the police recovered from Genrich’s apartment. If Genrich was born just a decade or two later, I can just imagine this going up on 8chan or Gab or in a YouTube vlog. This is Elliot Rodger level shit.

Bakunin
Bakunin
1 year ago

@KindaSortaHarmless
Glad to be of assistance 😄

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@Sophist

Sorry for the rant here, but I hate, hate, hate the term “gold star lesbian.”

It implies that a lesbian who has never been with a man is somehow better or more “authentically lesbian” than one who has, and that is judgmental bullshit. Nobody should be graded on how well they performed their identity.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Katamount
You’re right that society seems to fetishize this idea of turning lesbians straight. It’s quite possible that incels internalize that stuff.
It’s a two-way street as well, because one of the most popular categories for gay porn is straight guys turning gay.

Regarding pre-incel things in the 90s, I noticed another proto-incel thing the other day. Weezer’s 2nd album, Pinkerton, came out in 1996. In retrospect, it seems from the lyrics that Rivers Cuomo (the lead singer) was sort of an incel when he wrote this album. The songs are rather problematic, and despite this the album was critically lauded more recently.
Some examples of incel-ish and problematic lyrics:

‘Across the Sea’ (About having a crush on a Japanese teenager)

I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea

‘El Scorcho’ (about being a ‘nice guy’)

I’m a lot like you, so please
Hello, I’m here, I’m waiting
I think I’d be good for you
And you’d be good for me

‘Pink Triangle’ (rather related here, seeing as it’s about having a crush on a lesbian)

Everyone’s a little queer
Oh, can’t she be a little straight?

I don’t mean to ruin Weezer for any fans, it’s just something I noticed that seemed somewhat relevant.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

sarcastic (i think…)

Nobody should be graded on how well they performed their identity.

I’m white, male, cis, het, straight, of xian upbringing… I’ve been graded on how well I’ve performed my identity my whole life….

(t.m.i.) I flunked, miserably….

Things Come Undone
Things Come Undone
1 year ago

Penny Psmith@ Thanks I just wanted to hear someone else say Incels don’t fall in love I guess its just hard for me to believe.

About the Alphas I don’t know how they define the term I tried to point out some logical inconsistencies in the concept.
But still what people lie about, have delusions about tells us their desires and fears….Incels seem to really want other people to think they are great with Women but at the same time they put no effort into being with, listening to them.
You are right they look upon Women as things/toys? but how can you want a toy, but not play with it?
I can’t get into their heads and understand their flawed logic
Oh thanks for the reply you helped answer some questions and gave me more to think about 🙂

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

@varalys the dark or anyone else for that matter: Uhm, “disaster lesbian?” Please explain. I’m not hep to the latest lingo.

Also, “goldstar lesbian?” Guess that would describe my partner if the term means the woman’s never been with a man…though there was that one time while she was serving in the Navy…

…but that was before she realized which way her door swung, so to speak.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
1 year ago

@ThingsComeUndone

You are right they look upon Women as things/toys? but how can you want a toy, but not play with it?

If you’re the kind of person who likes to keep it in the packaging and put it on a shelf so everyone knows it’s yours and no-one’s allowed to touch it. I imagine incels with a vast collection of thousands of Pokemon, or Star Wars figurines, or whatever their poison is, all still in their boxes and staring sadly down from shelves wondering why no-one plays with them

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

@Allandrel – THANK YOU.

I hate it so much as well. SO MUCH. Women who have relationships/are physical with only other women are *not inherently better*, and it’s a really not-good concept that they are.

@ ObSidJag – Then, AFAIK, your partner is not ”””gold star”””. (Which, to be clear, doesn’t make them any worse off than a ””’gold star””’ lesbian. It’s not a great concept.)

Throwing my dislike for the term/concept here as well!

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

… No edit window. Sorry for the double post! But re: keeping things in boxes –

I also don’t like to do that, with my stuff. To me, it doesn’t make sense to spend all of this money on a thing and not be able to enjoy it. I enjoy my keepsakes by being able to play with them.

Others enjoy them by knowing that they are pristine. Perhaps they are keeping an eye to the value that being mint-in-box can give, perhaps they have other reasons.

Let’s not shame people for how they choose to enjoy *their own things*, maybe?

As long as they aren’t pushing it as the only way to enjoy X type of things? If they are, I would say the same bit. No one should get to choose how someone else enjoys their own possessions.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@ObSidJag
That is what gold star lesbian means. However, as this article explains, the term itself is rather problematic (transphobia, rape victims, and overall judging).

@Things Come Undone

About the Alphas I don’t know how they define the term I tried to point out some logical inconsistencies in the concept.

Incels and MRAs love to talk about logic but really have no idea what it is. It’s usually a waste of time to argue with them or try to show the error of their ways.
Alphas don’t exist in wolves (or any known species) so applying the concept to humans is not just a stretch, it’s pure BS. Even if it did apply to wolves, humans and wolves are quite different and that wouldn’t imply the same in humans.

There are no alphas
No restraining our past from devouring the present
No beginning that won’t end us

Bonus points if anyone can guess the song this is referencing.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

It implies that a lesbian who has never been with a man is somehow better or more “authentically lesbian” than one who has, and that is judgmental bullshit. Nobody should be graded on how well they performed their identity.

On top of that, I’ve seen the term used by TERF types, claiming that being with a trans woman would invalidate the “star”.

Gatekeeping others’ identities and emphasizing some kind of ‘purity’ is harmful and gross.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
1 year ago

@Rhuu

Oh dear. I didn’t mean to shame anyone.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping things in boxes; I was thinking more of incels having a “collector” mindset, which I always think of as why they like virgins so much (ie they’re still boxed).

I did not express that thought well. Apologies.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

To all who responded, many thanks. Still waiting for a definition of “disaster lesbian” though, from the context, I’m guessing it means something like a woman who’s dated men, but the romantic part doesn’t work out, and then the woman realizes, somewhere along the line, the relationship(s) haven’t worked because she’s not geared toward men.

If I’m hopelessly off base (& it wouldn’t be the 1st time), please be kind–I’m not intentionally trying to rile anyone up.

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@Weird Eddie

I’m white, male, cis, het, straight, of xian upbringing… I’ve been graded on how well I’ve performed my identity my whole life….

Me too. I think that’s why things like “gold star lesbian” piss me off so much – some people have rejected society’s grading system, not because they oppose grading systems, but just because they think society is grading the wrong things.

“No, don’t force people into that box. Not because forcing people into boxes is bad, but because MY box is so much better.”

I feel very similarly about geek gatekeeping – it seems like the people who complain most about mainstream society ostracizing geeks are the same ones doing the most to ostracize people from geek culture.

On the subject of collecting, I’ve never really gotten the “mint in box” approach – my collections (G.I. Joes and vintage video game consoles) are in “very fine but played with” condition. But I’ve never viewed my way as the One Legitimate Way To Collect.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

@ObSidJag

AFAIK, “disaster lesbian” is just a joke/meme. It’s self-depreciating humor, essentially meaning “haha, I’m a disaster of a person who is also a lesbian”.

It’s often used in alignment charts, a la Dungeon and Dragons’ good-neutral-evil, lawful-neutral-chaotic chart. Except the axes in this one are disaster-functional-distinguished, lesbian-gay-bi.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Allandrel
I collect old computers as a hobby and try to maintain them in good condition. But I don’t obsess over getting them in mint condition, and I do use them (mostly for running vintage software). I just get what I can, and work with what I have. The idea of putting them away and never touching them doesn’t make much sense to me. Computers are meant to be used, not to sit in storage. In fact, when storing them for long periods of time often more damage is incurred than if they were used regularly.

O/T: Has anyone else noticed Gab is trying to pretend they’re not Nazi enablers by creating a supposedly feminist offshoot called Spinster? They’re fooling no one.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@odsidjag

I’ve had a gold star lesbian experience that is not what your partner is and I think will help explain what it is. So I asked this young woman out my first year of college. She was very pretty. She was in my science class and I noticed she had many gay pride flags on her bag so I thought I take a chance and ask her out for coffee. Figured the worse she could say is no or tell me she’s actually straight and just wanted to show support. She said yes and I could have been knocked over with a feather after the anxiety left my body when she said yes.

I started seeing her for a couple of weeks. Probably three. One day we were in her dorm and we were kissing. It started to become something more then kissing and I relaized before anything could happen I needed to stop her and tell her about my triggers that I had from my rape. I hadn’t been really intimate with anyone since I was 16 at that point and I didn’t want to ruin the moment by having a panic attack. So I opened up to this person about my rape and how there are things I can’t do. She did not react well. First I started out by talking about how my first boyfriend has assualted me. She then admitly asked in shocked about this boyfriend. She was not in shocked because something horrible happened to me. No she was shocked because that’s how she found out I was bi. Not a lesbian.

Instead of being understand and empathic she got really berating about it. She made it really clear that she was grossed out about the fact a penis had been me. She also tried to tell me that my triggers shouldn’t apply to her because she’s a woman not a man and it should be different some how?????

Needless to say I stopped seeing her and blocked her number. She started telling the lgbt group members on campus that I was straight nd trying to experiment with her. Luckily at that time I had friends in the group that told her she was full of shit.

The whole experience was very similar to me to the men who think virginity is the most important thing and more then 1 penis will ruin you forever. I think she had a lot of internalized misogyny. I’m really glad I didn’t continue a relationship with her because from what she showed me it would have been another abusive relationship.

That being said may lesbians are wonderful people. I’m friends with a lot of them. I hope as she gets older she changes her views and becomes a better spouse in the future. But last I heard she got kicked out of the lgbt club because she had said some transphobic things to some other members.

Also I read the disasters lesbian thing more of like they think all lesbian relationship fail because woman are dramatic and going against their actually straight nature so they fail. Kind of like how they think women can’t be friends with each other because we secretly hate each other.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Re: my previous post
It’s very telling that if you google “spinster gab” the first result is a post on r/GenderCritical.
I’m guessing this is just a way to expand the hate by providing a new home for TERFs. TERFs have much in common with neo-Nazis, so it doesn’t surprise me that they’d like to share a platform.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

On the subject of collecting, I’ve never really gotten the “mint in box” approach – my collections (G.I. Joes and vintage video game consoles) are in “very fine but played with” condition. But I’ve never viewed my way as the One Legitimate Way To Collect.

yeah… as a kid in the 60’s, “boy play” was in vogue… our G.I. Joe toys would currently be graded as: “very poor, to burned beyond recognition”

The other thing was trading cards, which went viral(ish…) in the 60’s… a particular set of gum-cards might be worth thousands of dollars… and between all of us, we likely had TEN sets of all of ’em… (see “burned…” above)