Six fun and kicky makeup tips from YouTube racist Stefan Molyneux

By David Futrelle

The last time we checked in on YouTube ~~philosopher~~ racist crackpot Stefan Molyneux, he was trying his hand at slam poetry, sort of. Now he’s become a beauty blogger. Or beauty tweeter, anyway, unleashing a veritable tweetstorm on the subject of makeup over the last several days.

I’ve been going through his tweets and have extracted these Six Fun New Makeup Tips for Devious Females.

Simulate the look of sexual arousal by painting your lips a deep red because everyone who’s had actual sex with real human females knows that their lips turn the shade of a cherry whenever they’re feeling really horny. It’s just science!

So strange.

Do you know that female lipstick simulates sexual arousal?

Can you imagine a man showing up for a business meeting with a giant artificial boner straining at his pants?

Yet lipstick is perfectly acceptable in the business world.
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 9, 2019

Use lipstick to arouse the male’s monkey brain, because obviously our primate ancestors wore tons of makeup. (Just don’t go too far and arouse the lizard brain because then the guy you’re trying to win might ignore you and start trying to catch nearby flies with his tongue.)

Sexual arousal makes a woman’s lips ger redder, that’s the whole point of lipstick, it is designed to bypass the man’s rational faculties and speak directly to his Bonobo brain.
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 10, 2019

Use makeup to hide the fact that you’re a wrinkled old crone of, oh, 45 or so.

Another reason why women wear lipstick:

As they age, women’s lips start fading and thinning out.

It’s a sign of declining fertility, which helps men who want children to look for younger women.

Brightening and glossing lips is an attempt to countersignal this reality.
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 11, 2019

Makeup is designed to allow women to emulate the fertility of youth into middle-age. https://t.co/8pXwfSc3QW
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 11, 2019

Use makeup to manipulate gullible men and extract their man-resources!

Wow that’s a lot of makeup in your profile picture.

Women are smart – spending a few hundred dollars on makeup can get a LOT of resources out of men

I recently saw a sign in a makeup store: “TOOLS OF THE TRADE” – women walked in and out, not offended at all

Women know the deal https://t.co/Hhz4rgs8xQ
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 11, 2019

Feeling hungry? Apply lipstick at once and get some beta male dupe to pay for your $100 dinner.

Sigh

Yes, because men respond to full red lips, therefore anything that makes lips fuller and better tends to be more attractive.

It’s a good deal – invest a few bucks in lipstick, get $100 worth of dinner and a movie. https://t.co/38zm66lWGp
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 11, 2019

Use makeup to con wealthy investors into pouring millions of dollars into your fraudulent blood testing startup!

This is the power of makeup and beauty.

Uneducated woman gets male investors and an all-male Board to invest and destroy billions of dollars over almost 15 YEARS on a blood test that ONE HOUR would have revealed as totally fake.

No one said no or demanded proof.

Female power. pic.twitter.com/FXV66Xe0PT
— Stefan Molyneux, MA (@StefanMolyneux) August 10, 2019

Now, I suppose I should add that the last woman who pulled this particular long con got caught and is probably going to jail. But honestly, gals, her makeup skills were pretty basic, at best; surely you can do a better job and succeed where she failed!

COMING SOON (probably): Stefan takes aim at the dastardly tool of dude manipulation known as the Wonderbra.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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