By David Futrelle
It’s Friday, which means it’s time for some BAD SCENCE from the manosphere.
Actually, I have never before specified Friday as a day for bad science, but humor me this once, because I found some pretty, pretty bad science in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, and I’m going to share it with you.
It seems the fellas were discussing the alleged tendency of women to “scream and yell at the top of their lungs anytime something [bad] happens.” And one of the regulars — a wise fellow in the 12th grade — offered a detailed explanation, which basically boiled down to “women get headaches when they have to logic.”
Take it away, PrinceRaj53!
As much “demeaning” or “misommistic” it sounds, but the truth is: logical evaluation in a situation is exhausting for women.
And apparently correctly spelling “misogynistic” is exhausting for men, or at least for the Men Going Their Own Way variety.
Men rely primarily on logical reasoning, whereas women rely primarily on emotional reasoning. …
For Men- “if it works, do itâ (doesn’t care how it will feel)
For Women- âif it feels good do itâ (or avoids bad feelings)
Yes, I’m sure that explains why so many men keep throwing such EXTREMELY LOGICAL fits every time a movie comes out featuring a woman as an action hero.
Now, women arenât children, if we see it from a general perspective, right? However, in reality, women are grown up children who pretend to be adults while their actual actions and words remain the same as a child’s (I think the same about weak blue pilled males as well).
Dude, I don’t even pretend to be an adult.
A woman can handle more information and logic than a 4 year old, sure. But in general, a woman doesnât really want to and most of the times canât go beyond a certain point. My sincere belief is it gives them a physical head ache, just like when I study a new subject in my school with intensity(I’m in 12th, so for me the literature subjects are like this).
TOO MUCH THINK HURT BRAIN
All the new information, focus, and logic caused mental fatigue and the occasional head ache in the female mind. Sure, these things are helpful in that they create new neural pathways and learning, but it does mentally hurt. Women arenât equipped to handle this well.
Uh, there are no pain receptors in the brain. You don’t feel anything when your brain creates new neural pathways. Headaches are centered in blood vessels, nerves and muscles outside the brain. Stress can cause headaches, but thinking logically doesn’t.
Your best approach is to use an analogy or story if you really want to get your point across,just like you would do with a child. Bonus points if itâs a real life story about something that happened to her.
For example, you might say “hey, remember when that idiot on the internet tried to tell you that women get headaches from thinking logically?”
He then offers an example of how to use a story rather than logic to outwit a female in this TOTALLY REALISTIC EXAMPLE of a conversation with a women about circumcision.
Her : âHey! I got my kid circumcised!â
You : “You got your kid circumcised but thought that neutering your dog was mutilation. Both are cutting of the penis. Both against their individual will. Both cause the body parts to work differently and influence the sexual experience of the individual. Do you see how illogical your reasoning is?â
DO NOT do this. Just no. This will not go well, and will end up with more screaming and yelling, nothing else.
To be fair, I’m pretty sure any parent might scream and yell if they told you something about their baby and you responded by trying to outwit them logically.
Instead of that, do the following in such a situation (I am using this as an example) :
Her : âHey! I got my kid circumcised!â
You : âOh yeah? Huh. Cool.â
Wait a few minutes.
You : âRemember when you told me you thought neutering your dog was mutilation?â
Her :âYes. What?â
You : âJust checking.â
Do this.
Yeah, women LOVE THAT SHIT. As ZZ Top once sang, or might have, if they had seen this post, “every girl crazy ’bout a passive-aggressive man.”
Sheâll be confused for a bit. But sheâll recognize the interaction as having some sort of clear subtext. She may brush it off in the moment. But sheâll definitely think about it later. Just pass small packets of thoughts to her brain instead of going “direct to the point”.
Sheâll have to make her own connections to the similarities in order to figure out the riddle. This will get the point across, and since it was done in a calm manner she canât come at you yelling her head off. Women actually respect men who do this instead of going “direct cold hard”.
Thanks for you hard-won, mature wisdom on women, Mr. 12th Grader.
Now, lets recall a time in which you were exhausted by a womanâs emotional manipulation. Since we arenât as emotionally oriented as them, we become exhausted by feeling lots of different emotions …
This is how women feel when a situation like you mentioned happens, they yell and scream because it gives them a mental headache.
What exactly is a “mental headache?”
She doesnât necessarily want to fix things, not at all. She just wants to feel like creating drama to have the inherent feeling that she is right and special.
Or maybe she’s just annoyed that you’re a smug mansplaining asshole?
Use your logic to come to a conclusion, but once you are there, don’t state it as cold, hard fact, just pass it as a packet of thought to her mind indirectly. Let her figure out how to connect the dots. State the road, sheâll just follow because her hamster will stop spinning.
I’m a little baffled by the quick succession of metaphors here. Can someone draw me a diagram?
No, seriously, someone draw me a diagram, because right now I’m feeling like this little guy:
Have a good weekend, and don’t think too much!
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Just a note: us non-neurotypical people don’t always find the meanings of those gifs obvious …
It’s just me rolling my eyes at C4twoman’s post. There’s been multiple times now where they’ve felt the need to randomly make any topic about how horrible we are for talking about ablism.
And about how the community silences opinions about certain topics (even with examples of the ‘silenced’ opinion directly above their comment)
In this case at least two other commenters stated beliefs against routine circumcision (including the one quoted by @C4twoman), but sure, the commenters here won’t allow those beliefs…
@WWTH, Skye
C4twomanâs post sounds rather like an argument Iâve heard before regarding the stifling of free speech when it isnât actually suppressed. The fact that ableism was in scare quotes is a bit telling as well.
Also, while weâre on the topic of ableism: not sure if this is considered ableism, but it seems that intactivists (anti-circumcision activists) often come across as body shaming the many satisfied circumcised people in the world, telling them that they are broken or mutilated. They also have a tendency to call Jews and Muslims âbarbaricâ for practicing circumcision, which I find problematic for obvious reasons.
@GeekGoddess
I’d rather not hear someone implying that it’s the fault of a woman/the mother that these misogynistic jackasses are misogynistic jackasses, if it’s all the same.
@Catalpa
Same. Iâm sure many of these peopleâs mothers are just as horrified at their sons as anyone else.
Honestly as a mother of young sons, the idea that they could grow up to be horrible, hateful people is terrifying.
Have any of you read The White Flight of Jacob Black? On the one hand, it is a great story about a man finding his way (with a lot of help) out of the white supremacist mindset he grew up with. Unfortunately, his entire family is still seeped in said mindset. The fact is though, that if it is possible for someone raised in a hateful ideology to come out of it, the inverse is probably possible as well.
@Skye
It is definitely possible to come into or out of a hateful ideology. AFAIK most incels donât come from misogynistic backgrounds but turn to misogyny for the same reason people turn to racism: theyâre frustrated with the way their lives are going and it seems like a solution.
@Naglfar, and that is what worries me. It’s not like finding people spouting hate is difficult
@Naglfar, and that is what worries me. It’s not like finding people spouting hate is difficult
Crap, sorry for the double post
… a scientific fact ? Indeed, who need facts when believes can explain anything ?
Oh shit. There’s been a mosque attack in Oslo.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/11/norway-mosque-attack-suspect-may-have-been-inspired-by-christchurch-and-el-paso-shootings
He seems to have murdered a young woman before he went tot he mosque. Sickening, but not hugely surprising. Fortunately he only injured one person at the mosque, no fatalities there.
At least they’re refering to his screed not his “manifesto”. White supremacist, of course.
This is quite the tale of MAGA CHUD relationship drama. And not one bit of it even surprised me.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/did-a-far-right-star-recruit-jacob-wohl-to-terrorize-women?ref=scroll
…wow, I spend one weekend not paying attention to the news and I only learn now that Epstein’s dead?
*sigh* Can’t even enjoy a gyro and grind my vidya games no more….
And the gyro was kinda disappointing. All the best booths get gigantic lineups at 12 noon. đ
You know when an example is so specifically specific that you know it’s from a single but very memorable real-life experience?
@Skye
And it definitely doesnât help that the internet is optimized in favor of spreading hate and radicalization. Search up any controversial person or group and youâll get a bunch of right wing ânewsâ stories about them. Right wing journalism seems to less be about reporting facts so much as finding someone else to blame your problems on, and people like that better than confronting real causes of issues or questioning their own biases.
@WWTH
And somehow right wing media will spin this to claim Democrats are the problem.
@naglfar
I’ve noticed that too. I have many family members whom I love dearly that are trump supports and it really breaks my heart. It also really annoys me because anytime we are together for a family thing they always have to talk about how great trump is and how awful the Democrats are for bad mouthing him. Once I had to point out that people literlay hung up black manicans dressed up like Obama when he was president. Or that people in the political world would say that the first lady looks like a monkey. Apparently they all seemed to forgot about that. Once we were ending prayer before we could eat and my uncle literlay threw in “please bless the president and his family” and I’m sitting here thinking can we please keep that racist orange with a bad hair cut out of our prayers please. God scratch that out, that’s not apart of my prayer. If your gonna help anyone help the people he’s got in cages right now, or any of his rape victims.
Really makes me sick how they can turn an eye to all the things he done but then talk about how bad democrats are because they call him out on the bullshit he does.
@Lainy
Iâm lucky in that my immediate family and most of the relatives I see regularly are liberal, but like anyone else I do have a few old relatives who are conservative as anything. One in particular, who will remain unnamed, has broken off all contact with my side of the family because weâre Democrats. Yet somehow weâre the bad guys…
I was always told growing up that nobody thinks theyâre the villain, but I donât understand how anyone to the right of center now can look around and think theyâre not in the wrong. And then claim Democrats are in the wrong.
Then thereâs the whole conservative persecution complex, which really annoys me. It seems especially prevalent in evangelical Christian conservatives, but it exists in others too. They like to play the victim and claim theyâre speaking truth to power, when they are the power and screaming lies. Then turn around and say the other side is playing the victim.
Conservatives: âFeminists/BLM/Antifa/etc are playing the victim to get money!â
Also conservatives: âIâm being genocided in my own country where Iâm the majority! Aah! Iâm the victim! Send help!â
@Naglfar
That seems to be how it is. Tbh, my family that is the trump supporters, they haven’t even met my fiancĂ© yet. Being active duty will do that to you, but I am really worried how they will react to meeting him. I’ve never seen them as racist, But I use to think they would never support an idiot like trump. Especially my aunt. So I am worried how they will react when a bring Latino men there and I’m like “hey this is the guy I will marry and have my family with” I’m not even out to any of them except my brother and parents about being bi. My aunt has stated many times as I grew up that what color you are doesn’t matter, but the kind of person you are. I guess that will be put to the test when they finally meet him. I love them, and I don’t want to choose between family and the person I love. But I will be damned if I let anyone disrespect him or be cruel to him because any of them buy into the conservative crap.
I have (close) relatives who would like me to know that they are being discriminated against, because they are Catholic.
And while it is true that there is a lot of anti-religious sentiment around, but there is a difference between “you shouldn’t be able to marry/be recognised as your gender identity/hate the sin not the sinner (just be alone and unhappy your whole life <3)" and "holy shoot look at the involvement of the catholic church in the residential school system/pediphile priests/being general shits towards historically oppressed groups".
I vividly remember that they didn't want to discuss LGBTQ+ stuff with me, because I would be "intolerant" of their beliefs.
It was lucky I wasn't drinking anything, there would have been a HUGE spit take. And it's also lucky I don't typically break things when I'm angry, because my monitor might not have survived…
@Rhuu
The meme made me laugh. That fit so perfectly there.
Going to have to join the Family Dysfunction train on this one. The tRumper in my family is my mother though she’s not exactly a frothing at the mouth True Believer (thank the deity of my choice).
She wasn’t sold on him completely–just liked the lies that flew out of his mouth.
Here’s the kicker: she’s been married to a Mexican-American man for 59 years–my father.
Yes, my brother and I are what they used to call “half-breeds” (quick, someone call Cher), but you’d never know it to look at us. In other words, we can “pass.”
And, yes, I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now, I can see my own hair follicles.
@Lainy, Rhuu
Even self-identified liberals often have some issues, especially older folks. Every discussion I try to have about LGBTQIPAN+ stuff devolves into them giving some strange sort of rant about âthe children who are being forced to transitionâ (?) or how âthereâs too many genders these daysâ (?!). Iâm currently going through some gender identity issues myself and it doesnât help that I canât talk to anyone in my family about it. I sort of started talking when I visited my mother once, but my mother took it so poorly when I brought up they/them pronouns that we just try to pretend that it didnât happen. Sort of a donât ask, donât tell policy.
Itâs not just LGBTQIPAN+ stuff either. My grandmother is someone whom I used to think of as tolerant and who votes Democratic, but she has more recently said some kind of racist stuff about undocumented immigrants (like asking âbut why do they get in free when everyone else waits in line?â). Iâd think sheâd have more respect, seeing as both of her parents were immigrants from Eastern Europe.
@Lainy – I googled ‘so much for the tolerant left animated gif’, and while that one isn’t animated, it was WELL worth it haha.
@ObSidJag – I don’t talk to my mother about pipelines or indigenous issues, she has Opinions and tells me that I obviously can’t let it go, and am convinced I am right.
This is in reference to when I say “hey maybe we shouldn’t be continuing to base a province’s economy on the THING THAT WE HAVE TWELVE YEARS TO FIX. (you have GRANDKIDS don’t you want them to be able to BREATHE”) The last bit hasn’t been out loud yet, but SOME DAYS.
@Naglfar – Good luck figuring yourself out, it’s hard. Sorry your mom didn’t really get it. Are you still using ‘they/them’?
@all – many well wishes for those who are dealing with strife within family/friends/groups. It’s a tough time.