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cringe empathy deficit misogyny penises reddit vaginas

Dude is pissed that his girlfriend wouldn’t hypothetically trade her vagina in for a penis

Even the inventor of penis envy would be baffled by this one

By David Futrelle

Today’s bit of weirdness comes from the online cringe warehouse known as the Am I the Asshole (AITA) subreddit. It’s a post from a woman who says her boyfriend threw a tantrum because she told him she wouldn’t (hypothetically) trade her vagina in for a penis.

Because this is the sort of thing some people argue about, I guess.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I don't want a penis? (self.AmItheAsshole)

submitted 4 months ago * by MindlessReply

This whole argument is really weird to me. Basically, I'm on my period and my boyfriend said offhand he was glad he didn't have to deal with that and said something along the lines of, "I bet you wish you had a dick." To which I responded, "no, not really."

He seemed kind of taken aback by that and pressed the issue of exactly why I did not want to have a dick and I basically told him male genitals seemed really uncomfortable and awkward to possess, like I don't want some meat and a nut sack just chillin in my britches. Hard pass. He got weirdly offended by this and said I was being sexist??? I told him that I observe him scratching his nuts or rearranging his junk multiple times a day and that it would make me crazy if I had to constantly attend to my genitals like that. He got so mad about this to the point he stormed off to let me "think about" why what I said was so upsetting.

I don't get it though? Not 5 minutes earlier he was trashing vaginas and periods, but that's okay, for reasons? Y'all help me out lmao

EDIT: It's funny y'all keep mentioning Freud. My boyfriend is studying psychology and actually obsessed with Jung. Like y'all know that post about that guy who was obsessed with Jordan Peterson to the point his girlfriend left him? He's that level obsessed with Jung.

He’s obsessed with Jung, you say? You know who else is obsessed with Jung? Jordan Peterson. I’d bet anything that Mr. Boyfriend is a secret Peterson stan. (I mean, assuming he’s real; this is Reddit, after all.)

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theluckyfrog
theluckyfrog
2 years ago

Vaginas don’t cause periods, uteruses cause periods. If I could trade that for a less problematic organ I might do it.

Nequam
Nequam
2 years ago

There are times when for urinating purposes I think it’d be an advantage, but that’s about it.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
2 years ago

Well, if she had a penis, he’s probably leave her, so that’s another plus.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

This doesn’t belong on AITA. It belongs on a new subreddit called IMBTA (Is My Boyfriend The Asshole) to which the answer is almost always yes. Of course, it would be mostly full of those unfortunate enough to date Jordan Peterson fans. Or Jung fans, but I haven’t heard as much about those.

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
2 years ago

So, basically he took what should have been a lighthearted conversation really seriously and had a hissy fit about it. And they say women are overly emotional ones.

Anonymouse
Anonymouse
2 years ago

Men get so emotional over the smallest thing. I’m not offended when dudes say they don’t want vaginas. Big deal.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

i think cis people need to read more than freud and jung just my opinion

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

I liked the part where O.P. said “you know this whole argument is really weird…”

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Don’t disrespect the mighty peen!

Snowberry
Snowberry
2 years ago

Psst, dude, strapons.

Or, I suppose, futanari erotica/porn. Just stay away from the more problematic elements. She still has every right to refuse, to be involved with either of those, or you, though.

(Disclaimer: Yes, I know it isn’t necessarily a repressed fetish thing, and if anything it’s more likely to be a insecurity-about-masculinity thing which came out weird.)

Silly-bollocks
Silly-bollocks
2 years ago

Man, people are weird. Oof.

Talonknife
Talonknife
2 years ago

I mean, I personally prefer my male reproductive system to a female one, but that’s probably because I’m a cis dude and prefer my anatomy to match my gender identity? I think both are roughly equally impractical, just in different ways. One isn’t really better than the other.

Amy E
Amy E
2 years ago

I would actually be intrigued to know why the boyfriend was so offended by that. Unless he’s just gaslighting her and creating drama for the sake of making her feel bad…yeah, that’s probably it.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

You know, I can believe in the existence of penis envy. It’s just that it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with penis-havers having a bit of an easier time peeing in the bushes or avoiding contact with public toilets*. And, of course, as one non-penis-haver friend of mine once told me, being able to aim without doing acrobatics if you want to pee on someone’s car without climbing onto it.

* Assuming you’re just urinating, of course. If you actually have to sit down, the odds of contact get much higher if you have dangly bits.

Julie
Julie
2 years ago

I mean yikes…

Being a girl with a penis is kinda awful for me. I mean mileage may vary but this guy sounds like the kind to leave a trans woman if she dares to have bottom surgery.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
2 years ago

@Talonknife

On the one hand, the female system has everything inside, so it’s less unwieldy, but mine’s pretty small anyway, so I basically have that benefit without having the monthly blood and cramps and nausea.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

Or maybe his current girlfriend (the OP) could dump his sexist, insecure ass and he could date a trans woman that has a penis. Then she’s happy because she doesn’t have a relationship with a sexist idiot and he’s happy because he has a girlfriend with a penis.
Actually disregard all that, he’s a Peterson stan. I believe I recall Peterson being transphobic, so I guess this guy can’t date trans women either. Well then, he could always date cis men. Oh wait, Jordan Peterson is a homophobe too. Damnit Jordan, you keep cockblocking this random guy!

Bina
2 years ago

Been having periods for nearly 40 years now; still don’t want a dong instead. Also been reading psychology for over 30 years. Jung wasn’t a penis-envy proponent; that was Freud, with whom Jung broke ranks for reasons rather understandable.

And why would she want a dick? She’s got HIM, hasn’t she?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

Guarantee if the question were reversed, he wouldn’t be nearly as chill about it as homegirl here. No matter the circumstance either. Just kicked in the dangles, worked up some thigh grime, prostate starts acting up, that terrible post ejaculatory trip to the lil bois room…

GF: ‘Oof, must be a pain. Dontcha wish you could trade in your plug for a socket?’
BF: *reflexively grabs fedora while melting down into colossal mantrum*

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Makes me wonder whether the fragility of the male ego is related to the fragility of the dangly bits. Maybe we should evolve armoured junk.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Moggie
Or be like cetaceans and retract it into genital slits.

Phaos
2 years ago

While sometimes fun to, um, engage with, personally I kinda find my own penis pretty unwelcome (to the point that I try very, very hard to be nude as little as possible lest I see it). 1/10 would trade in for its converse.

Silly-bollocks
Silly-bollocks
2 years ago

I would totally trade my penis in for a pair of Converse. Maybe a pair of vintage pre 1970’s. ☺️

anon
anon
2 years ago

I dont want a dick but often when the ol vulva is itchy or something I do envy how freely men can itch and adjust.

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

While I don’t have a lot of fondness for “A Course in Miracles*”, there was one bit that seemed useful that I’ve held onto. The gentle admonition, ‘beware of the temptation to believe yourself unfairly treated’. The aggrieved penis-haver in the OP would certainly benefit from that.

*It entered my life courtesy of my first husband.

tim gueguen
2 years ago

@Naglfar the whole reason anyone has heard of Peterson is his public stance on Canadian Bill C16, which added gender expression and gender identity as protected grounds to the Human Rights Act, and to Criminal Code provisions dealing with hate propaganda, incitement to genocide, and aggravating factors in sentencing. Peterson claimed the bill would force him to do things like use people’s preferred gender pronouns or risk hate speech charges, and this got press attention. This led to a bunch of people deciding to pay a lot of attention to a previously obscure psychology professor. Legal experts stated that his claim was nonsense.

Ann K
Ann K
2 years ago

He is offended because he wants others to envy him, because he considers his dick to be the most important part of him. He is undoubtedly correct, girlfriend. Tell him whoop-ti-doo, most men have one, then go on your way and don’t look back.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

While I have seen one or two pretty dicks in my life time, I much rather prefer my vagina. That’s my cis privilege though by being lucky enough that everything matches up with my gender identity.

footprints in wet clay
footprints in wet clay
2 years ago

Hmm. I think either he was fishing for a compliment of his dick or he was hoping she’d offer to make use of his somehow, is my guess, and he felt like he was treated rudely when she didn’t fill the expectation.

while we’re on the subject with everyone sharing how they feel about their privates, on one hand I’d happily trade my bits for a dick and balls if I could, because trans. But also I have an ugly feeling, given my upbringing by a couple of staunch religious conservatives, that I might easily have wound up being one of the featured entitled “galaxy brained” bellends on this site, so…

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
2 years ago

Well that’s just weird.

galanx
galanx
2 years ago

Kick him in the nuts, and then ask the question again.

galanx
galanx
2 years ago

One of John Varley’s characters in the Titan series is raised in a lesbian space colony, but after experimenting decides even if it’s queer, she likes men. Observing her male lover , she wonders what it would be like having your organs all exposed and vulnerable like that, and concludes she’d probably spend her life bent over in a defensive crouch (it’s set in a rather hostile environment).

galanx
galanx
2 years ago

In the 2006 movie “She’s the Man” Amanda Byrnes plays a girl pretending to be a boy so she can play on the school soccer team. In one scene she gets drilled in the genitals by a soccer ball, and the players all wince , then gaze in wonder as she is relatively unaffected. She remembers who she is supposed to be , and dramatically falls writhing to the ground, while the others look on in sympathy.

kevinhancockk@gmail
kevinhancockk@gmail
2 years ago

@ galanx

Always found a football strike (yes, I’m British) in the solar plexus more immediately disabling than in the nuts during school sports.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Obviously the BF thinks peen > vag and is upset that his GF doesn’t agree. Vaginas are terrible and flawed, but don’t you DARE suggest his penis is anything less than 100% perfect.

It’s not that he literally wants her to have a dick, it’s that he wants her to envy his and acknowledge it as inherently superior. That’s red flag #1. Red flag #2 is him storming off and patronizingly leaving her to “think about” why he’s right and she’s wrong, on something that’s purely a matter of opinion. As if he’s her father.

Maybe it’s just me, but personally I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t have a sense of humor about their genitals. Sure, they can be awesome, but let’s face it, they can also be weird and annoying and sometimes embarrassing. It’s a little pretentious to demand they be treated as the mighty emperor of the universe.

Sheila
2 years ago

I’m with Buttercup. I think he’s offended that she won’t agree he’s superior.

Nina
Nina
2 years ago

Being grossed out by periods and vaginas is horribly normalized in our culture. The one time I asked my brother to pick up some tampons for me he freaked out and apparently nearly died of embarassment. Boohoo… Anyway, as many others, I grew up with constant negativity about my “interior plumbing”. But cis men aren’t used to this kind of body shaming, so when someone suggests that having a penis might be uncomfortable and undesirable, it’s a huge shock to their male ego.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

The alt-right is going after journalists now:

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2019/07/neo-nazi-swatters-target-dozens-of-journalists/

Great. We now have a Cyber SA acting as street enforcers for the regime. The fascism clock just moved another minute closer to midnight.

Anyone want to lay odds that the first name on the CNN list is Acosta?

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

@Nina:

Being grossed out by periods and vaginas is horribly normalized in our culture. The one time I asked my brother to pick up some tampons for me he freaked out and apparently nearly died of embarassment.

Does your brother also freak out about buying toilet paper? Because that’s for a purpose almost universally agreed to be gross.

solecism
solecism
2 years ago

Sounds like he expected his GF to jump on his misogyny train and hate on menstruation and vagina/uterus havers and was shocked when his planned little joyride backfired.

kevin
kevin
2 years ago

@ David

Sorry, could you delete my post on this thread please, I didn’t mean to put an email address there.

Nina
Nina
2 years ago

@Moggie

Does your brother also freak out about buying toilet paper? Because that’s for a purpose almost universally agreed to be gross.

One would think so, but since men also do it, it’s apparently no problem.

Katamount
2 years ago

Seconding @Buttercup on this score:

Maybe it’s just me, but personally I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t have a sense of humor about their genitals. Sure, they can be awesome, but let’s face it, they can also be weird and annoying and sometimes embarrassing. It’s a little pretentious to demand they be treated as the mighty emperor of the universe.

Seriously, you kinda have to have a sense of humour about it. Being a bigger guy, I can certainly attest to how toxic body insecurity can be. But you remember that we’re all different shapes and sizes and that’s totally okay.

Ikarikid the Dumb
Ikarikid the Dumb
2 years ago

Incidentally, I have a book called Dick For A Day: What Would You Do If You Had One?, a literary anthology where numerous feminists seem to make the assumption that if you have a dick, you’re automatically down to fuck or just want to pee standing up (the means of getting said appendage vary, from magic to an operation that grafts a dick over what is already there). I’m really not sure what the book is trying to say.

Also one of the short stories is a story where an amorous dog rapes and kills his owner. From the point of view of the dog. Just…what?

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

@Nina:

One would think so, but since men also do it, it’s apparently no problem.

Well. You know your brother and I don’t, and your judgement of him is undoubtedly correct, but the impression I have from other men is that the problem they have with shopping for tampons is not so much about being grossed out, more a combination of the “unmanliness” of buying feminine products and general cluelessness (“what if I buy the wrong thing, and she makes me feel like an idiot?”). In other words, you’d get much the same result asking a guy to shop for cosmetics.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

@Ikarikid:

That… how does that even make sense in terms of canine behavior? I mean, animal mating doesn’t usually end in death, certainly not for the partner that’s likely to go on to birth offspring. And dogs are pretty social and affectionate creatures.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@Ikarikid the Dumb:

Umm… Do the writers self-identify as feminists in the book? Because that is a really weird strand of feminism.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Seriously, you kinda have to have a sense of humour about it.

How can you not. I mean, just LOOK at the damned thing! If that’s not worth a laugh or two, I don’t know what is.

Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@Ikarikid

Not to judge your reading habits or anything but… why do you own that book?

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

In case anyone is interested in purchasing the book that has been discussed (no judgement), it can be bought in paperback form for $11 US on Amazon. It has 4 stars, so evidently people enjoyed it.

https://www.amazon.com/Dick-Day-What-Would-You/dp/0679773533#mediaMatrix_secondary_view_div_1564416064097

A quick Google search also reveals a lot of discussions online about this very topic, including a number of Reddit threads and online surveys.