Hey, vagina-havers! If you don’t want your babies to turn gay, don’t have butt sex when you’re pregnant!
That, at least, is the advice being given by the Bishop of Morphou Neophytos. In a speech last month, the Cyprus Mail reports, the bishop said that homosexuality “is a problem, which is usually transmitted by parents to the child,” and that the method of transmission, or at least one method, can be found in the fundament.
The problem, as the bishop sees it, doesn’t seem to be the anal sex itself, but the pregnant woman’s enjoyment of it. As the Mail explained his logic, the gay transmission
occurs when the couple has sex while the woman is pregnant, and the sex is “unnatural,” as he characterised anal sex.
The bishop said that when the woman enjoys anal sex, “a desire is created, which is then transmitted to the unborn child.”
It’s not clear how this applies to lesbians, bisexuals, gay men who don’t happen to enjoy anal sex, straight dudes who like getting pegged, or to the real world in general.
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Well, there’s Biblical precedent-
Genesis 30:
37Then Jacob took fresh rods of poplar and almond and plane trees, and peeled white stripes in them, exposing the white which was in the rods. 38He set the rods which he had peeled in front of the flocks in the gutters, even in the watering troughs, where the flocks came to drink; and they mated when they came to drink. 39So the flocks mated by the rods, and the flocks brought forth striped, speckled, and spotted
I suspect that thinking isn’t his strong suit.
If you do it doggy style do you get a puppy out of it instead of a baby or is the baby born a werewolf? If the baby is conceived while your upside down does it turn into a vampire or something? cause that one would be bad ass. Or the more reasonable, if I’m dressed as morticia does the baby become an Addams!?
@ lainy
The kid grows up with an insatiable urge to emigrate to Australia.
@Alan
If they get my fiancé skin type that’s okay lol. I’m so pale I burst into flames if I’m out in the sun uncovered for 10 minutes.
….Maybe I’m the vampire.
@Naglfar: glad to.
@Alan:
But what if the baby was CONCEIVED in Australia?
Or conceived in the northern hemisphere but born in Australia???
@Galanx – sympathetic magic is all well and good, but it works best if they’re heterozygoats
*applause*
Lainy:
Your child will be gay, but only pretend gay, not real gay.