No, you misogynistic dinguses, lab techs don’t regularly find dog semen in pap smears

By David Futrelle

I‘m sorry, everyone, but we’re going to have to talk about “the dogpill” again.

The dogpill, if you’re one of the lucky ones who haven’t already heard of it, is the delusional belief, shared seemingly by most incels and many other manosphere dinguses, that some huge percentage of women are regularly, ehrm, having sex with their dogs. On Incels.co and other sites like it, the regulars talk constantly about the dogpill (and the horsepill and even the fishpill, among others).

A longtime reader of the blog recently sent me a weird bit of copypasta that they found floating around on the internet. In it, someone claiming to be a lab tech at a women’s health clinic declared that he regularly found dog semen in pap smears — and that this was more-or-less an open secret in the world of gynecology.

Here. for better or worse, is his tall tale:

I work as a Lab Tech in a women’s clinic in the Mid West. I am the guy that looks through the microscope at your Pap Smear. 1 in 200-300 Pap Smears have canine semen on them. This is how I was introduced to this wonderful subject.

Women are told not to have sex for two days before their well woman exam. They believe that any sperm is no longer inside of them. The fact is, they are wrong. Even human sperm can last 4 days. Even if you have had sex with different men we can tell. Different men’s sperm look and act different. Canine sperm stands out as it has a second bulge in the tail used for energy to get through a bitch’s long harsh uterine tract.

If you read my post about canine semen working like a form of birth control for women, you know that dog sperm can and will live up to 9 days inside of his bitch. If you have had a Pap Smear during that time, then they saw the canine semen and documented it in your chart. (K9+)

The provider will never bring it up unless you do. The way they see it, it is a victimless crime, and they do not want you to not come back.

So be honest, how do you feel knowing someone knows?

Now, my first reaction to this was that it’s utter bullshit. But I’m no gynecologist. So I asked a gynecologist — the famous vagina expert Dr. Jen Gunter — what she thought. She had the same reaction I did, only more so.

“That is 100% bullshit,” she told me via Twitter DM. “That is not true. The end.”

She also characterized the story as “some kind of made up bullshit that requires no response,” “100% fantasy,” and something that “sounds like [an] Incel fetish.” It’s rare to find human semen in pap smears, she notes. Dog semen, no way.

As for the the notion that dog semen can serve as a sort of birth control, she dismisses the notion as “biologically preposterous.”

It’s not clear to me where exactly this copypasta came from; the only place I’ve found the full text is a handmade former-Tumblr fetish site. (Tumblr banned adult content last December; some of this content has migrated to Tumblr-like sites that are defiantly NSFW.)

From there, or from wherever it came from, it spread (sometimes as text, sometimes as a screenshot) to the alt-right-infested Twitter alternative Gab, the MGTOW subreddit, Quora, an exceedingly racist amateur fetish site devoted to “BBC [Big Black Cock] and Beast Fantasy,” and who knows where else. (It’s hard to track the spread of a screenshot that’s 100% text.)

On Gab, the posting got dozens of responses; most took it as true, expressing assorted forms of disgust and making jokes about “pup smears.”

“Lord have mercy.,” commented someone called Michigan Wave.

This is one of those factoids you’ll never un-know. Even if it’s just 1 in 400-500, it means we are literally converging w/ 3rd World norms where human-animal coitus is rare but accepted.

“Muslims believe women who have sex with animals should be killed,” wrote whoohoo001. “These women are contaminated.”

“And women have the audacity to call men perverts.” scoffed mothersmurfer.

On the MGTOW subreddit, most commenters were similarly unskeptical.

“Its guilty until proven innocent if i see a woman who owns a sizable dog,” wrote CoffeeBreaksAllDay.

“This is why some of us call women bitches,” joked I-am-the-lul.

And this is why some of us call you guys misogynistic dinguses.

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