Categories
#gamergate boner rage boobs creepy cringe entitled babies evo psych fairy tales

Female nature, as explained by Reddit’s experts on video game titties

By David Futrelle

In the Kotaku in Action subreddit , where GamerGate never died (it just smells that way), the regulars are getting mad that the community manager for the game Total War: Three Kingdoms objected to some “sexy mods” that horny gamers had come up with.

Naturally, the regulars in KiA have figured out the real reason that women are annoyed by female game characters with massive two-dimensional gazongas: they’re just jealous. According to the OP:

THOT_Analytica[S] 67 points 23 hours ago 
The female community manager in this case is acting as a gatekeeper for male attention. It's a personal insult to her that men care more about fictional women which she can't compete with than about her and her feelings. This is what happens when a female is given a position of power, she will abuse her power for her own interests.

And the peanut gallery agrees:

genuseacc 230 points 1 day ago 
I'm starting to believe when women flip out about this kind of stuff it's because their lizard brain is low key jealous of the chars and drawings and fears the competition or some other atavic instinct like that.

permalinkembedsavereportgive awardreply

[–]TonyTGD"I, Dracula." 150 points 1 day ago 
To most women attention is a finite resource. If men give attention to computer women then there is less potential attention for them to receive.

It’s all very scientific, according to this guy who can’t type properly.

HonkHonkberg 17 points 23 hours ago 
Most human behaviors can be distilled down to how it affected our reproductive success. Makes me with academia wasn't totally dominated by lysenkoist progressive ideology, because I would LOVE to go into evolutionary anyhropology

I can relate. I was going to major in anyhropology in college, until they told me that wasn’t even a word.

But it’s good to know that dudes who rarely if ever speak to actual human women have them all figured out so well.

H/T — Twitter’s Shitty Gamer Takes

We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

42 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
1 year ago

I am absolutely fine with getting no attention from the men who frequent KiA.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

1. I don’t think they have much contact with humans. At all. No matter the gender.

I’m a hermit as well, mind you, but I go to work and do music stuff, so I interact with people in meat space on a daily basis. I don’t much like it, but at least someone would notice if I vanished.

2. As someone with huge 3D gazongas I have to say that they’re way more trouble than they’re worth. Boob sweat is icky, bras cost an arm and a leg, and way too many men talk to my boobs. I also move around a lot when I sleep and pinching a nipple when rolling over is agony.

3. Pretending to be smart by using big words really doesn’t work when you can’t spell them. Which also is an indication that you probably don’t know what they mean.

4. And we’re not afraid of competition by video game characters. We’re just tired of being bombarded by images like this all day, every day.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Knitting Cat Lady
You have no idea how thrilled I was to find a bra that
A) comes in my size
B) has no underwire to poke me all day
C) rarely cuts into my sides
D) is cotton, therefore both comfy and moisture-wicking
E) doesn’t give me uniboob
F) is affordable (well, under $50, which is as affordable as bras get)

Fuck it, there’s a sale, gonna buy another one.

DW
DW
1 year ago

“I’d have loved to have gone to college, but they’d have presented ideas which challenged my preconceptions, and that just won’t do.”

It appears that HonkHonkberg probably wouldn’t have done well in college.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
1 year ago

Just wanted to say that I love the bit in the beginning : “…GamerGate never died (it just smells that way)”

Jackson Ayres
Jackson Ayres
1 year ago

Two dimensional animated characters that have no free will and can’t object to them continue to be their ideal woman.

To be anything different is to be so far out of their comfort zone that all they can do is speculate wildly about those mysterious creatures known as “actual people.” Of course they think real women are a bloodthirsty alien brood set on destroying them and twisting their “culture” into some abhorrent abomination (read: inclusive and not demeaning.) How dare women object to horny men reimagining the few female characters in video games into sex objects.

TheKND
TheKND
1 year ago

@DW

From what I learn from the Internet, only left and liberal views are to be challenged on college. You also have to be triggered and spoken down to as much as possible.

K.
K.
1 year ago

@kupo

Who produces these magical unicorn bras?!

tim gueguen
1 year ago

It’s funny that HonkHonkberg thinks that academia is “dominated by lysenkoist progressive ideology” and wants to studio (I assume) evolutionary psychology. A lot of evopsych stuff seems sort of like Lysenkoism to me.

tim gueguen
1 year ago

Oops, edit function didn’t appear. That studio was of course supposed to be study.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Most human behaviors can be distilled down to how it affected our reproductive success

Then why is he so obsessed with animated women? Last I checked, video game and anime tits can’t help these dudes reproduce.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

HonkHonkberg’s objection to academia isn’t exactly what they says it is. They could study evolutionary anthropology regardless of whether academia is dominated by lysolkeneticist prosnotty ideology…. But what they want is to present THEIR ideas about the subject without fear of criticism.

This is rampant in dogmatic circles, and the objection always boils down to “… they don’t AGREE WITH ME!!! CENSORSHIP!!!”

@ wwth:

Last I checked, video game and anime tits can’t help these dudes reproduce.

I read this and my brain fell out and rolled on the floor laughing its reptilian cortex off!!!

tim gueguen
1 year ago

@wwth I’m sure someplace out there is some guy that thinks Weird Science is a documentary, not an ’80s comedy. His video game hottie is going to pop out of his computer any day now.

Lineata
Lineata
1 year ago

I’m going to go out on something of a limb and suggest that when he says academia is “dominated by lysenkoist progressive ideology” what he means is it’s dominated by politically correct progressive idealogy.” Because I’m struggling to figure out how the statement could otherwise be perceived as true, even by Gaters.

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

“This is what happens when a female is given a position of power, she will abuse her power for her own interests.

Which of course never happens when a man is given a position of power. Ever.

(I’m sure they would add that only feeeemales are given positions of power, men earn theirs, something that feeemales are incapable of.)

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

@ Lineata:

I’m struggling to figure out how the statement could otherwise be perceived as true, even by Gaters.

A huge majority of gaters, indeed, most dogmatist conservatives, hold that “science sez what they say it sez.” HonkHonkUpALoogie’s study of evolutionary anthropology would undoubtedly show that all the gender roles that misogynists love and cherish actually WERE encoded into our genetics “on th’ African savanna” and the Lysenkoists are denying science when they say otherwise.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

so… in observance of the wisdom that “it’s never too late to learn”….

Listening to Pandora, “60’s Folk Music” channel, they spun a mid-1960s tune called “A Well-Respected Man”… looking at Google for some guidance towards the lyrics… I discovered the song was NOT by The Beatles, as I’d always believed, but instead by the Kinks….

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

On one hand, sexy costumes, whether real-life or avatar, can be a valid form of self-expression.

On the other hand, they’ve been too often used as an invalid form of other-expression.

On one hand, people should be able to play games the way they want to, even if it’s not for the best reasons.

On the other hand, extra-skimpy bikini armor in a semi-realistic battle game based on an actual historical era would wreck the experience for a lot of the other players. (I would presume. Not a gamer.)

Lineata
Lineata
1 year ago

Cool, so, I’m just wasting time trying to understand based on what Lysenkoism might *actually* mean?

But I am only a young girl and know little of the ways of…genetics.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
1 year ago

@KindaSortaHarmless

Seconded!

David has been know to have a way with words, and that parenthetical bit is a beautiful one.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@KindaSortaHarmless:

Just wanted to say that I love the bit in the beginning : “…GamerGate never died (it just smells that way)”

And what a smell it is! The sour smell of unwashed armpits, stale Cheesy-Poofs and rancid Monster energy drink… excuse me, (ulp), I gotta go 🤢

Simon
Simon
1 year ago

HonkHonkberg

So he’s also a goddam nazi? What a shock.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Those do look comfy and they seem to be on sale for only $19.99. They don’t have my band size though. I’m a 36H. I wonder if a 38G would work?

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@wwth
You could check if they have a store near you and try it on (I passed by one today and they were advertising the sale, so it’s not restricted to online). They do returns but you have to pay return shipping.

otrame
otrame
1 year ago

Small breasted women and men may not understand the importance of a good bra to those of us who have what Bette Midler called “great big knockers” (try to find the song, on Art or Bust–Bette is a well endowed girl herself and she understands–that whole concert was amazing).

It took me a long time to succumb to sense, but I finally decided to try actually measuring myself and bought a bra that I thought was WAY too big. That was partly because it was much bigger than the bras you can find in the stores.

So it turns out I needed to RTFM (Read the Fucking Manual). It fit perfectly. It’s comfortable. It, as the old commercial goes, lifts and separates, and there is no bloody goddamned fucking wire.

So you live and learn.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Maidenform is my personal favorite brand of bras. They do have wires but their so padded around the wires you don’t really notice them. They also have some pretty styles and matching panties that are a nice breathable cotton. Keep in mind I only have I only have 36c cup breast. I know their are bigger sizes but I’m not sure how big they go up to.

Cheesynougats
Cheesynougats
1 year ago

Anyone want to place bets on whether Honk even knows who Lysenko was?

Patti Scheibel
Patti Scheibel
1 year ago

I hate wearing a bra, despite being well endowed. First thing I do after work is take it off and sling shot it across the room. I get rashes from the lower band and straps – freaky skin.

Dazed and confused
Dazed and confused
1 year ago

hay
I don’t know if they are UK only but bravissimo is great and they have some bras that go up to a K cup. and I got a comfortable sports bra there as a 32E.

numerobis
numerobis
1 year ago

Snowberry: I’m not familiar with Total War’s mod setup but typically, players can share mods in two ways: via some easy to use interface in the game, maintained by the game developer; and via their own web pages, which will require slightly more technical skill for other players to install.

The game developer can of course curate the list that’s offered on their own platform. They can’t do anything about the open web.

So, as usual, the cry for “freedom of speech” is really a cry for compelled speech from any curated space for user-generated content.

Do these guys also get annoyed at art galleries?

Skye
Skye
1 year ago

Do these guys also get annoyed at art galleries?

In my experience, yes

Lineata
Lineata
1 year ago

Anyone want to place bets on whether Honk even knows who Lysenko was?

That’s what was making my head hurt.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
1 year ago

I am never envious that someone else’s boobs are LARGER than mine. I could do with mine being MUCH smaller.

Also, one problem with videogame boobs is that they don’t obey the freaking laws of physics, the gal at the top being a really great example of that. Even fake boobs aren’t gonna make cleavage without something pressing them together, and pasties (even diamond shaped ones) don’t do that.

It is really really distracting when you know how boobs DO work to see them in some game where every other part of the physics is super realistic yet the boobs are antigrav boobs. Definitely breaks immersion.

(Aside from the greater problem of objectification, of course. I just thought I’d mention it because even if you were an antifeminist jerk, there are other reasons to argue against this sort of thing too.)

Beyond Ocean
Beyond Ocean
1 year ago

Anyone want to place bets on whether Honk even knows who Lysenko was?

Well, I bet soon enough the igno-right will be ranting that academia is controlled by Cultural Lysenkoism.

Catherwood
Catherwood
1 year ago

Pretty sure he intended to major in “Any Derpology”, given his considerable talent for derp.

QuantumInc
QuantumInc
1 year ago

This is similar to the “Fake Geek Girl” scare that pre-dates gamergate and if anything was worse. Geeky guys complained of non-Geek girls who would pretend to be part of the Geek community in order the harvest the attention of Geek guys. A lot of the language carried the assumption that women NEED male attention and will come up with various evil schemes to get it. It seemed to be part of a larger anxiety that conventionally attractive people would invade Geek spaces and push out the traditionally Geeky guys. These men see Geek spaces as a refuge for unattractive men first and foremost.

“Lysenkoism” really confused me until I googled it. “Rejection of Genetics” immediately showed up, but regardless of the actual meaning the guy clearly means rejection of the biology inspired justification of traditional gender thinking. Feminists generally seem to reject outright the notion that evolution could influence psychology. I would recommend “Sex at Dawn” by Christoper Ryan & Cacilda Jetha, which starts with the same premise but arrives at a very different conclusion. A different way to disprove that particular evolutionary narrative.

Drungarios
Drungarios
1 year ago

As someone who plays a fair amount of Total War, why the hell would you want a sexy mod for it in the first place? The whole point is that it’s supposed to realistic and detailed. If you want sexy fantasy armor go play WoW or something, I guess.

Hambeast
Hambeast
1 year ago

I was struck by how TonyTGD seems to think that attention is actually an unlimited resource. I guess he thinks all men are Dr. Manhattan or something.

AcidTrial
AcidTrial
1 year ago

I feel like these dudes should just go and play Dynasty Warriors if they want ridiculously over-the-top costumes in a Three Kingdoms setting.

Turan, Emissary of the Fly World
Turan, Emissary of the Fly World
1 year ago

I approve of mocking these guys, but HonkHonberg’s version of “anthropology” probably does not deserve the scorn it gets here. When you misspell a long word by only one letter, and the wrong letter that you used is next to the right one on the keyboard, then that should be presumed a simple typing error (compounded by a failure to proofread) rather than a display of ignorance.

On the other hand, his use of “with” when he means “wish” is just weird. “S” and “t” are not near each other on the keyboard, so he had to make a special effort to get that wrong.

Amtep
Amtep
1 year ago

I think Lysenkoism is the original example of political correctness (the real kind, not the fake boogeyman that rightist blowhards get worked up about). Lysenko was supported by the state, and his theories about agriculture were promoted as a wholesome alternative to degenerate western science. So his theories were *politically* correct, even when they were not *factually* correct. It was also not politically correct to say that millions of people died in the resulting famine. Lysenkoism was right so that could not have happened. Anyone who says otherwise is questioning the political authorities.

This whole thing is a feature of authoritarian regimes. We see it writ large in the Trump administration: it is politically correct to say that climate change is a hoax and that burning as much coal and oil as we can will make everyone happier and wealthier. And it will be politically incorrect to say that millions of people died because of it. Climate change is a hoax so that could not have happened.