GOP candidate won’t allow a female reporter on a campaign ride-along lest people think they’re boning

@WWtreehugger.
First part: No. If I don’t miss cat callers from an ideal society because I consider it a bad act on men’s behalf, should that give you an incentive to kill? Strange rationale. And if a woman is raped, she should report asap, not 10 years later as we see now in the news.

How do you email David so I can try to get ride of this victim blaming asshole.

@Allandrel. You would be more than just ignorant to believe that men have lost their career over some false allegation from a female, whether sexual or otherwise, so that the company can save face for its shareholders. You may not know what I am talking about, but I know. Who are you kidding here? There is a reason why I have that username and there is a reason why I have set conservative boundaries with the opposite gender. Why is that a problem for you?

To all of you. You may have noticed in my posts that I have not called anybody f*** names, nor have I used profanity or other bad language (I think). I may have played a bit with your username, but so have you, no problem. But I am trying to give an explanation from a man’s perspective why more men are disengaging from women at work. Rather than having some constructive dialogue, I am getting rants from all over the place and…from women. Now read your posts again and try to understand why it is good for a men to set conservative boundaries with the modern western woman, because the answers are in your comments. Have a good day, I got to go. Will be back later or so.

@BSTS Please don’t bother. Being condescending to a rape victim is total asshole behavior.

@Lainy Dave’s e-mail is on the sidebar under the mammoth pic.

what the fuck bsts, I’m emailing david right now. If you haven’t done it yet, Lainy, don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.

Now read your posts again and try to understand why it is good for a men to set conservative boundaries with the modern western woman, because the answers are in your comments.

Finally I understand! It has nothing to do with false rape allegations at all. If men don’t deny women career advancement opportunities, women might use naughty words, and that’s just going too far. Better safe (from women being granted equal access to the public sphere) than sorry (because a lady said “shit” one time within my hearing)

@Lainy
I’m so, so sorry for how awful this ambulatory toxic waste has treated you. All the comfort to you, my friend.

@Lurkers, because this is not for the scumbag
Everyone else covered the other stuff well, but I wanted to address this:

All true rapists don’t have self control

That’s not true. Not even a tiny bit. Rapists are 100% in control of their actions. They are cruel, awful people who want to take what they can’t have. They often plan it in advance and test the waters by judging reactions to boundary pushing. They are cold and calculating in their actions. They are not simply people with poor impulse control. (Also, plenty of people do not have impulses to rape in the first place. It’s like they see people they’re attracted to as human beings and sex as an activity to share mutually.)

Hugs, Lainey and anyone else who might need it.

And BSTS,

Personally, I judge people in the content of their words, not their tone. On substance, your words are victim blaming, cruel, and fact free. There’s been plenty of research on why victims don’t always report and on the volume of false allegations. You’re just proveably wrong.

I’ll take a good person who swears and has emotions over an emotionless misogynist any time.

Of course, I get the feeling you’re very eager to defend rape and sexual harassment because you’ve engaged in some less than consensual behavior yourself. The red flags, they are leaving everywhere.

Further to the above; I’m afraid that’s even the case in my own profession; and I think that’s significant.

What does it tell you about likely outcomes, when women in a career where assertiveness and confidence are prerequisites; and who know the law inside out, feel unable to even complain?

https://www.gresham.ac.uk/lectures-and-events/sexual-harrassment-bar

Re – Women are automatically believed, and men are ruined for life:

TW: The article I linked IS NOT ENJOYABLE, I was being ironic. Be ready to read about untested rape kits. In fact, TW for sexual assault for the rest of my comment. I’m sorry!

No. That is most definitely not what happens. For instance, ‘enjoy’ this article about decades worth of untested rape kits.

Remember, rape kits are collected when there is a reasonable chance that they would be able to recover something. These aren’t people who weren’t able to speak about it for many years, these are people who *did what they are supposed to do*, and went to the police to be prodded in intimate places again after being raped.

Some choice quotes:

Eventually 11,341 untested rape kits were found [in Detroit ONLY], some dating back more than 30 years—each one a hermetically sealed testament to the most terrifying minutes of a woman’s life, each one holding evidence that had been swabbed or plucked from the most private parts of her body. And in all likelihood, some microscopic part of her assailant—his DNA, his identity—sat in that kit as well.

But the rape-kit scandal has turned out to be only a visible symptom, a mole on the skin that hints at a pervasive cancer just below the surface. The deeper problem is a criminal-justice system in which police officers continue to reflexively disbelieve women who say they’ve been raped—even in this age of the #MeToo movement, and even when DNA testing can confirm many allegations. From the moment a woman calls 911 (and it is almost always a woman; male victims rarely report sexual assaults), a rape allegation becomes, at every stage, more likely to slide into an investigatory crevice. Police may try to discourage the victim from filing a report. If she insists on pursuing a case, it may not be assigned to a detective. If her case is assigned to a detective, it will likely close with little investigation and no arrest. If an arrest is made, the prosecutor may decline to bring charges: no trial, no conviction, no punishment.

Each year, roughly 125,000 rapes are reported across the United States. Sometimes the decision to close a case is surely correct; no one wants to smear an innocent man’s reputation or curtail his freedom because of a false report. But in 49 out of every 50 rape cases, the alleged assailant goes free—often, we now know, to assault again. Which means that rape—more than murder, more than robbery or assault—is by far the easiest violent crime to get away with.

Sure doesn’t seem like men are being ruined by false rape accusations, right?

At the time, if you were raped in Cleveland and you were poor or otherwise vulnerable, police would likely make a couple of phone calls and move on. You can see this play out in the police files documenting the response to Nathan Ford’s [a serial rapist they found when they analysed decades worth of untested kits] early attacks. All of Ford’s victims who came forward had forensic exams, but detectives were more likely to shelve the kits than send them to a lab. Rarely did a detective visit the victim, witnesses, or the crime scene. If a victim couldn’t come to police headquarters on the detective’s timetable—because she couldn’t find transportation or child care or get time off from work—she was labeled “uncooperative.” The case was closed. In other instances, the detective wrote that he couldn’t locate the victim, and this was enough to end the investigation. Yet when investigators reopened sexual-assault cold cases 20 years later, they almost always found the victim within a few hours.

When the Cuyahoga County prosecutor’s office hired a team of researchers at Case Western Reserve University, in 2015, to pore through police files and other records connected to thousands of untested rape kits in Cleveland, they quickly spotted the same pattern. In a random sample of cases, mainly from the mid-’90s, they found that the notes from many police investigations barely filled a single page. In 40 percent of cases, detectives never contacted the victim. In three out of four, they never interviewed her. Half of the investigations were closed in a week, a quarter in a day. As for rape kits—the one type of evidence that might definitively identify a rapist—police rarely sent them to the lab for testing. Granted, testing a kit could cost more than $5,000 in the late ’90s and 2000s. But during part of that time, the state was paying police departments to send in evidence. And even when the cost of testing a kit dropped to less than $1,000, police still tucked away the evidence in storage. Ultimately, Cleveland would accumulate some 7,000 untested kits.

Perhaps the reason people are reflexively believing victims now and the accused are facing social consequences is because we all know that those are probably the only consequences they will ever face.

Collectively, we feel powerless, because rapists are hardly ever even prosecuted. This ‘innocent until proven guilty in a court of law’ sure does work well, when most rapists won’t see the inside of a court room and are therefore automatically innocent.

There is a rapist in the White House. He put a second sexual assaulter on the supreme court.

It is also worth remembering that many many of the ‘false’ rape accusations are false because the cops decided they were. Because the victim wasn’t acting like they thought a victim should. Because they didn’t think there was enough evidence, so they dropped the investigation and it got put in the ‘unproven’ pile. Because they were protecting the accused. Because they were pressured to protect the accused. Etc.

A final quote from a different article, linked below-

Credibility is a basic survival tool. When I was very young and just beginning to get what feminism was about and why it was necessary, I had a boyfriend whose uncle was a nuclear physicist. One Christmas, he was telling–as though it were a light and amusing subject–how a neighbor’s wife in his suburban bomb-making community had come running out of her house naked in the middle of the night screaming that her husband was trying to kill her. How, I asked, did you know that he wasn’t trying to kill her? He explained, patiently, that they were respectable middle-class people. Therefore, her-husband-trying-to-kill-her was simply not a credible explanation for her fleeing the house yelling that her husband was trying to kill her. That she was crazy, on the other hand….

Source – Rebecca Solnit, Men Explain Things To Me.

(A friend shared this with me today, and I thought it would be good to share it again here.)