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Jews use porn to drain goy boys of their precious bodily fluids and cause women to worship Israeli men, declares semen-hoarding Redditor

General Jack D Ripper: Does not avoid women, but does deny them his essence

By David Futrelle

So I’ve been a teensy weensy bit obsessed with the Semen Retention subreddit for months now — though, emulating the disciplined approach to life that subreddit advocates, I have tried my best not to post about it more than once a month or so. But some days I can’t help but relapse. Today is one of those days.

What fascinates ma about this particular subreddit — a harder-core brother to the NoFap subreddit that has basically taken General Jack D. Ripper’s soliloquy about “precious bodily fluids” from Dr. Strangelove and turned it into a way of life — isn’t just the quasi-magical powers many of these guys think they’ll gain if they can keep their hands off their wangs, but also the strong undercurrent of misogyny that runs through so many of the discussions.

Sometimes this undercurrent erupts in a geyser. Take, for example, the rant titled “Men are waking up.” posted to the subreddit several momths back by someone calling himself, quite aptly, Invisible_Weirdo. Despite living up to Mr. Weirdo’s handle, the post still managed to get 75 upvotes in the relatively small subreddit.

“Do you know how many men are dropping out of school more than women,” Mr. Weirdo begins.

Women are academically becoming much more successful in all fields than men once given the chance. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities compared to girls. Does that mean women are superior to men? They are according to an author who uses the nickname Elise Sutton.
Of course, I didn’t believe her.

For what it’s worth, Sutton isn’t an expert on childhood education. She’s a FemDom — not that there’s anything wrong with that! — who’s written a couple of books about “male desire for Loving Female Authority,” as the subtitle of her first book puts it. From a quick skim of that book it appears we’re talking fetishes, not sociology.

Did you know men were always more successful until 1960s, 1970s. Did you also know that coincidences to exactly the same time when porn started to become more and more popular.

Huh. The internet has made porn ubiquitous, but somehow — to take just one not-altogether-random example — corporate boards of directors (in the US) are overwhelmingly dominated by white men with a few women and people of color mixed amongst them; indeed there are 23 companies in the Fortune 500 that have no women on their boards at all. Whatever porn is or has been doing to our culture, it’s not knocking these dudes out of the corner offices.

Did you also know porn is forbidden in Israel? Or what about the hot war time when they broadcasted free porn in the TV stations they took over in order to weaken Palestinian men.

Oh, dear, this again. This talking point has been borrowed from another Semen Retention post that I wrote about several months ago — or perhaps borrowed directly from where that poster (a raving anti-Semite) got it from. 4Chan? Stormfront? The Daily Stormer? Either that or Mr. Weirdo is the same dude who posted the original claim using another name. Or they’re both part of some weird Nazi recruitment effort aimed at men who don’t jerk it.

The claims about Israel are also factually wrong. The bill to restrict porn in Israel has been bounced around for many months now and currently isn’t expected to be voted on until after Israel’s next election. As for the other thing, well, it’s true, sort of — see my post here — but it was more an attempt to anger Palestinians, not cause them to wank themselves into oblivion,

Or have you ever considered most famous geniuses who practiced celibacy like Nicola Tesla or Sir Isaac Newton.

Or maybe they were just extremely introverted, or asexual or, I dunno, gay? Isaac Newton, an angry and insecure man (and then some) was a great scientist, but not exactly the poster child for a personal life well-lived.

What is the common point of all this information? Men who ejaculate daily and spill their vital fluid on a regular basis are inferior to women yet those who practice semen retention demonstrate better mental performance, which means they are superior to both weak men and women.

Jack D. Ripper can offer a fuller explanation here.

I’m old enough to remember when this scene was a joke, not the basis of an entire weird movement. But back to men and their BRAIIIIIINS!1!

They reach faster brains compared to constantly mediocre female brain!

They reach what now?

Doesn’t that prove that men are inherently superior.

No. These ravings — and indeed the entirety of the discussions going on daily in r/SemenRetention — certainly haven’t convinced me that semen-hoarding men are smarter than women, or even than furiously masturbating men.

Those ancient philosophers were right. Men have larger brains.

That sounds familiar.

Back to Mr. Weirdo:

The only way for women to win is corrupt male psychology.

Honestly, my research into the poisoned brains of manosphere men over the past eight years has convinced me that men are pretty good at corrupting their own psychology all by themselves.

Do you see the conspiracy?

Warning, it’s about to get ugly. Will “The Jews” make an appearance as a convenient scapegoat? Why yes, they will.

You are slowly and steadily being made to believe that you are inferior by toxic feminism which benefits Jews who don’t masturbate most.

Hey look over there, it’s THE JEWS!

But of course Mr. Weirdo insists that his scapegoating of Jews has nothing in common with Mr. Hitler’s.

I am not an Anti-Semitic but can you see the indirect love triangle? You will worship females and they will worship Israel men.

Um what? Even setting aside the raging antisemitism, and the fact that not masturbating doesn’t actually make anyone more attractive, how are women outside of Israel even going to find any Israeli men to worship, much less enough to satisfy the worship demands of all non-Israeli women? I mean, Israel has a population of less than 9 million,

That does not necessarily need to be related to Jews in general; however, it could lead to serious damage and long term power imbalances.

Is … is he suggesting the US and Israel have a Semen-Retention Gap?

I am not a misogynist, either.

Yeah, just like you’re not an antisemite.

Nevertheless, the toxic Femnazi communities might be used as a good intermediate pawns against other nations’s males.

Wait, now we’re playing some weird game of spermy realpolitik?

The main manipulator does not have to be Israel. It might be anybody of any country. Nonetheless, there is still hope because more young men are waking up thanks to the internet.

Well, to be fair, more young men are waking up in the morning and masturbating thanks to the internet and its vast repositories of free porn.

Nofap was a great mainstream movement even if the more correct path is semen retention. Men are waking up. It might sound a little speculative but if all men wake up, the old power balance will be balanced again.

Because with all that backed-up semen the men will weigh more?

Women are gonna stay below men if a miracle doesn’t happen. So don’t keep semen retention as a secret. Try to spread it everywhere. And don’t become a toxic Nazi, either. Toxic masculinity is also as dangerous. Just beware of your power. And finally, embrace your superiority!

I think I’ve stumbled upon the tentative beginnings of a semen supremacy movement.

To which all I can say is “ewwwww.”

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Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
1 year ago

Even succubi/incubi wouldn’t be this obsessed with semen.

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

Or have you ever considered most famous geniuses who practiced celibacy like Nicola Tesla or Sir Isaac Newton.

Unlike those notorious ladies’ men Albert Einstein and Erwin Schrodinger, who were of course dummies that never accomplished anything.

Aron
Aron
1 year ago

I can personally attest that both masturbation AND pornography are legal in Israel.

Aron
Aron
1 year ago

Test

Aron
Aron
1 year ago

I can also attest that Israeli men AND women are absurdly gorgeous, and probably worthy of worship.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Wasn’t Isaac Newton like really gay.

jsrtheta
jsrtheta
1 year ago

“Sometimes this undercurrent erupts in a geyser.”

Maybe not the best image for a discussion about semen retention…

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
1 year ago

Dude masturbate. Don’t masturbate. Why you gotta have some weird misogynistic, antisemitic theory to justify it? I bet this guy can’t even grab soft serve at Hometown Buffet without writing an essay about it.

Jurgan
Jurgan
1 year ago

I’ve long thought Newton was asexual. Even if he was an unpleasant person, he was very rich and famous, so in that day and age he probably could have gotten married if he wanted to. It’s not just that he couldn’t “seal the deal,” though; by all accounts, he never even showed interest in another person romantically.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I mean not that newton sexuality really matters. He’s been dead for a long ass time now. I just thought I saw something about him living with some guy for his entire life.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

Women are gonna stay below men if a miracle doesn’t happen.

Intriguing political assertion with distinct feminist and spiritual overtones. Unfortunately, this argument is dropped as soon as it is mentioned.

So don’t keep semen retention as a secret. Try to spread it everywhere.

Certainly the priests of the Catholic Church have kept semen retention a secret from Catholic boys and men. Don’t be that guy (the one with his collar reversed).

And don’t become a toxic Nazi, either. Toxic masculinity is also as dangerous.

Are there nontoxic Nazis? Also, is toxic masculinity really as dangerous as masturbation?

Just beware of your power.

I for one am already extremely wary of your power.

And finally, embrace your superiority!

Don’t be like other guys, who hide their superiority to women. And the result has been a mess: women writing novels, women voting, women limiting the number of children they have. What a disaster.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

Should we tell them that Tantric Buddhism has been doing this for centuries?

As for the whole ‘men have bigger brains’ thing?

The size isn’t the limiting factor. It’s the surface area and the neural connections.

So bigger brain != more intelligent.

And big head != big brain.

Take me. My head is huge. This is due to the fact that extra thick skulls run in my family. I have x-ray evidence that my skull is, on average, about twice as thick as an average skull.

So I’m literally a bone head.

And of above average intelligence according to my MH team.

Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
1 year ago

I know I’m going to regret asking this but what is the distinction between semen retention and nofap?

Also, although I’m clearly awesome as is my family, I know for a fact that non-awesome jews do exist.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Rei

Dope hat man. Plus the glasses, your fuckin killing it.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Wow did I imagine rei Hat. Jesus Christ mary and joseph I don’t think I’m okay.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

Even setting aside the raging antisemitism, and the fact that not masturbating doesn’t actually make anyone more attractive, how are women outside of Israel even going to find any Israeli men to worship, much less enough to satisfy the worship demands of all non-Israeli women? I mean, Israel has a population of less than 9 million,

Same way Chad visits all those Beckys and Stacys, and that in turn is presumably the same way Santa visits all those chimneys in a single night. The power of belief!

Amtep
Amtep
1 year ago

I, for one, am now convinced that outlawing porn and male masturbation is essential for the Security of the Nation. And I urge the Republican party to enbrace this policy for their 2020 platform.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It always amuses me when anti-Semitic people use “feminazi” as an insult. Wouldn’t that be a compliment to them?

I guess it’s just that they’ve absorbed the message that Nazis = villains but didn’t absorb that hate is bad. Therefore, anyone they don’t like is a Nazi, but being anti-Semitic does not make you one. Totally rational.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

Did you know men were always more successful until 1960s, 1970s. Did you also know that coincidences to exactly the same time when porn started to become more and more popular

Porn has been around since people first learned to draw. It’s always been popular. I think what he means is “ubiquitous”, or “easily accessible”.

Also did you know that the 1970s coincidences to exactly the same time as Donny and Marie Osmond? It is they who have undermined western culture!

They reach faster brains compared to constantly mediocre female brain!

“Faster brains”, meaning it only took him thirty seconds to spew out this incoherent Time Cube rant.

They’d be a lot better off denying everyone the essence of their undisciplined garbage thoughts. Semen is so much less harmful.

DC
DC
1 year ago

Never seen “FemDom” as a title, thought it was just a noun for a scene involving a Domme.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

So, retaining your spooge is like overclocking your brain? I wonder whether I could make money selling water-cooled hats to these guys.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

Donny and Marie Osmond? It is they who have undermined western culture!

The Captain n Tenille… Tony Orlando and Dawn….

The era I fondly remember as “The Dark Age of Music”

Katamount
1 year ago

@Oogleyboogles

Even succubi/incubi wouldn’t be this obsessed with semen.

Now I’m envisioning a couple of succubi on a smoke break in the Underworld on their iPhones (Apple would be the only licensed distributor in Hades), scrolling through Reddit and finding this.

“Ugh, Xuriel, did you see this weird subreddit where these guys think that their sperm makes their brains big?”

“Yeah, Uliana was telling me about it over lunch. Guh, human men are the most gullible creatures in the entire multiverse, girl.”

“Tell me about it. I mean, they’ve even regimented it into a stupid club where they punch each other while naming their strange human foodstuffs.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they even wear the same clothes as each other. I think they call themselves the Proud Guys or something dumb like that.”

“Damn, girl, no wonder we’re swamped down here. Men that messed up have to be sinning like left, right and center.”

“You got that right. Well, I guess we should get back to work. I got about a dozen floggings to finish before the end of shift.”

“Yeah, our shoulders are gonna be feelin’ it tomorrow. You thinkin’ what I’m thinking?”

“SPA WEEKEND!”

And then they had a lovely spa weekend at the Acheron caldera and got massages from some handsome incubi. The End.

zaunfink
zaunfink
1 year ago

Oh, so women have it better because boys are generally diagnosed more often with adhd and learning disabilities?

Well, fuck you. Yes, it’s so great to have to wait almost 30 years, spending more than half of them with crippling depression and anxiety for which there seems to be no explainable reason, so you can’t fix them and then somebody, by chance, mentions you might have adhd. And then you end up on the floor after taking your medication, crying, because suddenly you know you’re not broken or defective or just lazy. Suddenly you can do things and it doesn’t feel like running a fucking marathon. Suddenly you can interact with people and you’re not utterly exhausted.
And then the depression fades and the enxiety is gone and yeah, hey, boys have it so much worse because they get diagnosed earlier.

The lack of diagnosis for girls has nothing to do with them having less problems and discrimination against boys. It has everything to do with discrimation against girls and stupid backwards gender roles and hey, girls aren’t good at math anyway. It’s a problem, you dickwad!

I hope his precious semen-filled balls fill to the point where they explode. Self-centered idiot.

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
1 year ago

Oh, that explains the tingly feelings I get from Oded Fehr when I watch The Mummy. It’s just Jews and porn and dudes jerking off that’s making me hot for Israeli men.

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

It always comes down to the Jews because the lack of fact-checking in conspiracy circles means they have no way to weed out anti-semitism when it creeps in. Anti-semites quickly gain traction because they’re very passionate and willing to spend a lot of effort gaining social capital for their beliefs.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@weirwoodtreehugger – chief manatee:
See also how people can be accused of being fascists and communists in the same sentence. Both those words are bad, and you’re bad, so you’re both of them. Meanings? No, words only have emotional overtones! You’re a meaning!

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
Such as pornographic graffiti found preserved in the ruins of Pompeii. Yeah, people have been doing the equivalent of ‘for a good time call …’ for millennia.

@Katamount:
*snicker*

OT:
Saw someone walking around earlier today dressed in black and with a T-shirt that read ‘Make America Goth Again’.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
1 year ago

Mr. President, we cannot allow a Semen-Retention Gap!
comment image

David I'm disappointed in you
David I'm disappointed in you
1 year ago

“Try to spread it everywhere.”

The joke was staring you in the face, dude.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer Or the Turin erotic papyrus, dated from 1150 BCE .

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@Rei Malebario

Nofappers do not masturbate (or watch porn, because it leads to masturbation) but still have sex (or at least try to). Apparently there’s some mystical difference between a self-induced orgasm and an other-induced orgasm.

Semen retention dudes try not to orgasm AT ALL to gain superpowers by filling up with LIQUID GOLD. They basically saw General Ripper in Dr. Strangelove and instead of laughing went “this guy is a genius!”

AcidTrial
AcidTrial
1 year ago

Two thoughts come to mind:

– Conspiracy theorists always seem to be anti-Semitic. It doesn’t matter if they’re ranting about women, the Jesuits, “Big Pharma”, space lizards, or whatever else – it always seems to come back to anti-Semitism.
– Someone who rants about semen on the internet should probably avoid using the phrase, “spread it everywhere”.

Tripoli
Tripoli
1 year ago

@AcidTrial

It’s like an anti-bukkake bukkake out there.

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

@AcidTrial
There’s some conspiracy theories in east Asia and central Africa that aren’t anti-semitic, but otherwise basically all conspiracy theories boil down to “The Jews”.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Long time lurker, first time commenter here. As a Jew who has been carefully studying the link between antisemitism and conspiracy theories, I feel like the reason most conspiracy theories are antisemitic is historical. Throughout history, Jews have been viewed as ‘other’ due to perceived religious and cultural differences, and were commonly scapegoated (cf. Jewish deicide myths, blood libel, well poisoning accusations). It’s simply a continuation of that same line of scapegoating that most conspiracy theorists today make their theories lead back to antisemitism.

OT- how do I change my avatar icon?

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
1 year ago

“constantly mediocre female brain”
“Doesn’t that prove that men are inherently superior”
“Women are gonna stay below men”
“I am not a misogynist”

…Wait a minute

bekabot
bekabot
1 year ago

I can also attest that Israeli men AND women are absurdly gorgeous, and probably worthy of worship.

Well, you don’t set up prohibitions against things that people would never be tempted to do. (“It is absolutely forbidden to eat an extra portion of wilty old salad in place of dessert!! Thou shalt not!!”) Historically in desert regions monotheism has been popular and representations of the human form have been frowned upon. (This tendency comes through most strongly in Islam, which is uneasy with any representation of the natural world at all.) So, maybe…you’re right.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

Oh shit, they’re on to us. BRB, grabbing my tent peg and semen vacuum, I’d better neutralize this threat.

😉

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

@Lainy: you sound like you’re having the same kind of day I am!

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Yutolia

I had a rough day and since I didn’t have work or class, I got myself a nice big brownie. And because I’m not that much of wild person I like to eat half of it then trip out while watching planet earth. Learned some shit about octopi and cuddle fish. Nature is fuckin crazy.

Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
1 year ago

@Lainy
My Gravatar settings had somehow changed to show the Gravatar that I no longer use. I’ve stopped wearing a flat cap, much as I like it, because a local nazi-adjacent shithead far-right pol has sort of made it part of his brand. A former colleague, who also used to favour the flat cap, and I tried to start a Bowlers Against Bigotry movement but we didn’t really get a lot of traction with it so it’s just the two of us thus far …

Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
1 year ago

Oh, and I didn’t include the far-right motherfucker’s name because he’s already stalking me and I’m pretty certain he’s got nothing better to do than vanity search for himself.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Rei

Well that makes a lot more sense now. I thought I was just tripping balls.

Mother of elderly kitties
Mother of elderly kitties
1 year ago

Just judging by the (not insignificant) sample of Israeli dudes I’ve had sex with, yes, they absolutely have porn.

And, as another user pointed out, there are a lot of really, really, ridiculously good looking people in Israel. It would not take a vast conspiracy theory to drive some people to worship, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@Mother of elderly kitties

“When God chooses a people, He pulls out all the hotness stops.”

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MatzoFever

Warning: TV Tropes will ruin your life.

Ben
Ben
1 year ago

Clarification about so called “Porn Ban” in Israel.
In reality it should be named “Involuntary but Optional Internet Porn Filter”.
So these people want to Auto-Filter porn online so kids cant use it, adults can Opt-out to disable the filter, thats it.
What people dont like is that its auto-On and you have to Opt-out instead of it being auto-Off and you need to opt-In to use it.