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creepy entitled babies incels men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny

Today’s incel wisdom: Charlie Brown was the only Peanuts character “to hold down steady pussy.”

He really did have a girlfriend

By David Futrelle

When they’re not talking about women having sex with dogs, or celebrating their favorite mass killer, the regulars at Incels.co sometimes have normal internet discussions on normal internet discussion topics like, well, Garfield and Charlie Brown.

In a sort-of-recent thread, the regulars at the popular incel site discussed the burning question of whether or not Jon Arbuckle — the owner of the famously sarcastic orange cat — was an incel. The general consensus: Absolutely.

Just think about it
wageslave
had oneitis but could never fuck her
no friends so all he could do was vent to his cat
2/10 in high school
none of his dates ever went well
It never began for Gardfieldcels

According to several commenters, the real pathos of Jon’s life was revealed by the cartoon art experiment called Garfield Without Garfield, which removed the cat from the strip and left Jon talking to himself in an empty apartment.

Someone shooped the garfield out of a lot of the comics, another guy replaced garfield with a picture of a realistic cat that says nothing, and you see the comic as it really is, a sad lonely incelman venting alone to his cat that doesnt understand anything.

“Garfield without Garfield is basically pure incel despair,” the original poster agreed.

As it turns out, the incels are wrong about Jon: though his romantic failures were a long-running theme of the strip — he got turned down a lot and when he did go on dates they often ended up being disastrous — he did ultimately connect with Garfield’s vet, eventually even marrying her (in the Garfield Cinematic Universe, at least, if not in the strips) . As the Garfield wiki explains:

His biggest crush is Dr. Liz WilsonGarfield and Odie‘s vet. Over the years, Jon had asked her out on dates numerous times. She usually turned him down but sometimes agreed, however those dates were usually disastrous, often due to Garfield insisting on accompanying them. In the live action films, Garfield: The Movie and Garfield’s A Tale of Two Kitties he became Dr. Liz Wilson’s boyfriend. This later became the case in the comic strip too, from July 2006 onwards. In Garfield’s A Tale of Two Kitties, Liz marries Jon, but this never has become possible in the strips.

One incel stepped in to correct his colleagues on the Liz Wilson question, then offered his own thoughts on another cartoon character often assumed to be something of an incel himself: Charlie Brown. (I mean, by incel logic, how could he not be? He’s a chinless bald child and sort of the ultimate beta.)

Turns out that in the final years of the strip, before creator Charles M. Schultz’ death in 2000, Charlie Brown finally found himself a little red-haired girlfriend (though she wasn’t the little red-haired oneitis of his dreams).

FrothySolutions began with a reference to Jon Arbuckle’s girlfriend before going on to praise Charlie Brown’s apparent pussy slaying prowess:

I thought somewhere down the line he ended up going steady with that veterinarian who looks after Garfield?

While we're on the subject of comic mainstays, some people think Charlie Brown is incel. Others will say "He can't be incel, those two lesbians both are in love with him." But not only are those two lesbians in love with him, but throughout the 90s, for the last decade of the comic, Charlie Brown did have a girlfriend. She even had red hair, just like he always envision his ideal woman to have. Fact is, in a comic full of kids struggling with unrequited love, Charlie Brown is the only one to hold down steady pussy. His life isn't that bad. But then, whose life is, really?

I have to admit, that last highlighted sentence is not one I ever expected to read in this lifetime, and I doubt you did either. But consider yourself Incel Wisdomized for today.

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Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I saw a Garfield cock ring yesterday and had to explain to my fiancé what a cock ring was.

Mabret (née Laugher at Bigots)
Mabret (née Laugher at Bigots)
1 year ago

It’s less horrible than the usual incel fare, I must say. They almost sound like run-of-the-mill misogynists, rather than the wannabe serial killers they usually sound like.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Those two lesbians both are in love with him

He doesn’t understand how lesbians work, does he.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
1 year ago

I’m in incel overload today. Just had a talk with a friend who was just assaulted by an incel ‘friend’. She was sitting a couch and he just jumped on her, pinned her down, and started kissing and biting. Biting. She managed to push him off and he said it was her fault because she tempted him. This is a guy who complains all the time about how no women he dates are smart enough or pretty enough, and women don’t like him because he’s short.

Send them to the moon, every last one of them.

Viscaria
Viscaria
1 year ago

Others will say “He can’t be incel, those two lesbians are in love with him.”

I don’t think others will say that. I actually think you are the first person to ever say that in the entire history of the world.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

It is true that unrequited love is one of the major themes in Peanuts. But all the characters suffer from it, girls as well as boys. Sally pines for Linus, Lucy for Schroder, Peppermint Patty and Marcie for “Chuck”, Linus for Miss Othmar, plus a whole bunch of other minor characters. Most of the main characters are both sufferers and recipients. Charlie Brown isn’t alone in being lonely.

Another major theme of Peanuts – and I cannot emphasize this enough: THEY’RE CHILDREN. I know incels are furiously trying to drag every single thing in the universe down into their crab bucket singularity, but innocent unrequited schoolchild crushes =/= incels’ violent entitlement towards women.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
1 year ago

As a kid in 1990s I saw a few episodes of the animated Garfield Series on Finnish TV.

I specifically remember parts of one episode, where Jon decided to “get a life” socially speaking, and tried to learn from a few self-help gurus, the kind who promise to help you become a cool and interesting person by some simple tricks. They were all sleazy and silly, and at the end Jon just randomly found his own persona to be kinda syncing with Liz.

Much later, I thought it was actually a nice parody or pick-up artists, among other such scam artists. Of course back then I didn’t get most of the jokes, even via translated subtitles.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I’m gonna be real for a moment. I have never seen a single peanuts episode in my life. Not even the Halloween thing that most people see of it. I think the closes thing I’ve seen of it was the fairly odd parents making fun of it when I was a kid.

Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

Re the incels’ interpretation of Peanuts, I think the best response I can make is “Good grief!”

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
1 year ago

One of the “simple tricks” to appear interesting was to learn Canadian, because it supposedly passes for a foreign language, and you can speak it easily by just adding “eh” at the end of every sentence. The Finnish translator had substituted this with a similar local speech pattern associated with the Finnish city of Tampere. My parents (who understand English better than I did back then) found this combination of original joke and makeshift translation hilarious, especially since my mother is from Tampere.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m disappointed there was no discussion about how Doug, with his crush on Patty Mayonnaise, was an incel. I guess I should feel relief that the men in my age group aren’t in this incel community though.

There was also a missed opportunity to discuss how Heathcliff was an alpha male thug chad cat compared to the beta cuck Garfield, who is fat and hangs out with his human all day instead of cruising the junkyard for stray Stacey cats.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

Others will say “He can’t be incel, those two lesbians are in love with him.”

I don’t think others will say that. I actually think you are the first person to ever say that in the entire history of the world.

If they are, it’s only because the term “incel” hasn’t been in common parlance for more than a couple years… unfortunately, people who think “lesbianism” is purely performative, or that it only exists because some women just hate men for petty or irrational reasons, and all lesbians women really lust after men deep down, have existed since forever. In modern times, they point to the existence of dildo-using lesbians as “proof” of this assertion. They’re a particularly assholish minority which even includes more than a few straight women, but they do exist.

And then there’s the (completely separate) idea that all women are bisexual. If that were true, I’d have dated more women and fewer men.

[troll]All women are bisexuals, bisexuals don’t exist, therefore there are no women, and that’s why incels have so much trouble.[/troll]

…Also, while I’m sure adult versions of Peppermint Patty and Marcy are lovers in many a fanfic, I don’t think that this is anything more than common headcanon. (Please do not give me links to Peanuts erotica fanfics.)

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

Aren’t the Peanuts characters, like, 9 years old?

At least primary school age?!

How young do this brain amputated dick wads think people start having sex?!!

Fucking hell. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Viscaria
Viscaria
1 year ago

@Snowberry

All very true and good points. I should have specified that I meant he is the only person to say it in relation to these particular cartoon child characters. You’re probably right in a broader sense, though.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

I didn’t know that Jon hooked up with that vet. Isn’t she the one who was kinda responsible for him drinking dog cum that one time?

TheKND
TheKND
1 year ago

This Garfield thing bothers me. Mostly because… that isn’t some great reveal, that’s just how comedy with a buttmonkey protagonist works. If you turn off the laugh tracks in most sit-coms, they turn into tragedies. If you read old Carl Barks comics and imagine that Donald ever catches his nephews with the birch branch, they turn into terrible child abuse.
Comedy often has a dark undercurrent.

Bina
1 year ago

Charlie Brown has two lesbian girlfriends? Wow, I had no idea. I thought Peppermint Patty liked “Chuck”, while Marcie tags along after her calling her “Sir”. Also, didn’t Charlie have a never-requite thing for “the little red-haired girl”, whose name only belatedly turned out to be Heather?

Incel “logic” is a never-ending confuzzlement.

Prith kDar
Prith kDar
1 year ago

I have to admit, that last highlighted sentence is not one I ever expected to read in this lifetime

Well, that’s true, but the next two shocked me even more, coming from an incel.

“His life isn’t that bad. But then, whose life is, really?”

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
1 year ago

@Prith kDar
Too much self awareness from them.

Aaron
Aaron
1 year ago

Actually I’m surprised I haven’t seen them try to claim Jon before. Yeah, he found success with the veterinarian eventually, but for most of the strip’s history basically his defining trait was his romantic haplessness.

Jon lacks the homicidal rage characteristic of the incels, though. He’d be more inclined to hang around the ForeverAlone subreddit.

I’m disappointed there was no discussion about how Doug, with his crush on Patty Mayonnaise, was an incel.

Didn’t they get together in the movie? I guess it was a little bit ambiguous. But I also thought it was pretty clear throughout the series that Patty also kind of liked Doug as well, but (like Doug) was too shy to really act on it.

That was actually sort of a theme throughout the series – we only ever got to see inside Doug’s head, but it’s repeatedly emphasized that the other students largely share in his insecurities and struggles. Not a bad message for a Nicktoon.

Talonknife
Talonknife
1 year ago

I wonder how the incels would feel if they read Dog Sees God. It’s a play about the lives of the Peanuts kids in high school. It opens with Snoopy’s death and over the course of the play, Charlie Brown discovers that he’s actually gay. It’s a very good play that I highly recommend, although it’s also incredibly sad.

BBBB
BBBB
1 year ago

‘Charlie Brown, Poonslayer’ is not a take I’d ever have expected. I’m still not sure whether it’s awesome or creepy… it’s kinda both.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@BBBB

Just straight creepy bro. Ever breath, their very existence. Every single thing about these guys is creepy.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Must these guys taint everything they touch? I feel like they leave a thin layer of grime over everything.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

@Mabret (née Laugher at Bigots)

It’s less horrible than the usual incel fare, I must say. They almost sound like run-of-the-mill misogynists, rather than the wannabe serial killers they usually sound like.

Awww. That’s just about the sweetest thing anyone would (or — let’s face it — could) say about incels.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

Aren’t these the same people who complain about remakes of films raping their childhood by infecting them with cooties? To which I can only say, WTF do you think you’re doing when you bring sex into kids’ shows?

dashapants
dashapants
1 year ago

@Talonknife

Yeah, I saw that play. I think it would actually make incels worse. Maybe it’s for the best that they haven’t read it.

Katamount
1 year ago

Actually, now that I think about it, it’s rather remarkable how many popular comic strips of the 80s and 90s included hapless schlubby white dude cartoonist avatars. Like Jon in Garfield or Dave Seville in Alvin and the Chipmunks or Adam from Adam@Home. It was basically the “this comic strip sucks” red flag for me. Probably the only one that included a schlubby white dude protagonist or supporting character that I read was FoxTrot or Dilbert (before Scott Adams revealed his power level). FoxTrot at least had some 90s geek cred and the family dynamic was at least believable. Dilbert was the perfect satire for the moment; kind of a shame that it couldn’t adapt (and its writer was terrible).

On the topic of comics, I’m rather dismayed to admit that in one of the ways I was influenced by my douchebag stepfather (who is thankfully not a part of either mine or my mother’s life) would be that he introduced me to Doonesbury, which I did enjoy reading the treasury of the early 1970s back when it was actually subversive and not just a series of fever dreams and aging Boomer anxiety in panel form. Some of the plots in the 80s and 90s were… interesting. Roland Hedley’s journey through Reagan’s Brain was pretty amusing.

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But the Boopsie character was frankly never handled that well and her being possessed by Hunk-ra always came across as a bizarre non-sequiter.

comment image

The bizarre array of side characters didn’t help things (looking your way, Mr. Buttz) and even Uncle Duke got a bit tired after a while.

Jeez, why do I remember so much about Doonesbury?!

Katethulu, Bloggin Eldritch Abominatio

Isn’t Charlie Brown supposed to be, like, seven?

Simon
Simon
1 year ago

Andy Capp is probably the character they most wish life was like.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

To repel incels, hang “Cathy” strips over the front door and back door and chant “Ack!” thrice.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

A friend of mine up in Ottawa actually did a series of sketches of various of the Peanuts characters as teenagers years ago. Including Franklin, Schroeder, and ‘Pig Pen’ setting up as a band. Linus showing up with a suspiciously blue ‘handkerchief’ hanging out of his back pocket. Charlie Brown sitting next to the little red headed girl and checking his pulse to make sure he’s still alive. And Freida (of the naturally curly hair) telling a big pile of young beagles “Y’know, even your father got up and chased rabbits once in a while.” and one of the pups thinking, ** We know, he told us never to repeat his mistakes. **

Basically, he did his best to make them older while still capturing as much of the spirit of the original characters as possible.

@Katamount:
Yeah, unfortunately ‘man as schlub’ is a common comedy thread. And, like most other comedy techniques, can be beaten into the ground. Which, of course, was part of why Jon ended up getting married, was the realization that ‘this isn’t funny anymore, and hasn’t been for a while’.

CriticalDragon1177 (@CriticalDragon1)

Way to go FrothySolutions, sexualizing a child in a children’s cartoon.

Teabug
Teabug
1 year ago

I’ve noticed something. Jon sure does have a lot of countertops in his house.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

The reason why the altered strips with Jon and no Garfield or a non-speaking cat work is because Garfield can’t speak (except via a form of telepathy which is normally only picked up by other cats) and most of the time Jon is acting the way he does while having no idea what his cat is thinking. Without the sardonic commentary, it changes the tone, of course, but it doesn’t fundamentally change the strip.

@Teabug: I’ve always considered that a simplified abstraction. Garfield isn’t always on a countertop, sometimes it’s a table, or on top of the sofa back, or some other furniture. While there were rare occasions when it actually did show him on top of something else, because the strip would be baffling otherwise, it’s more artistic laziness than anything.

Or, you know, there might just be one really long countertop which stretches across both the living room and the dining room, which is kitty’s favorite place. Either way.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

@Katamount:

Boopsie’s got better in recent years. More or less after the stage where B.D. suddenly looked at her and said “Wait. Since when do you have opinions?”

Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

The Hunk-Ra stuff was initially a parody of J.Z. Knight and her channeling a “Lemurian warrior” entity called “Ramtha”– a bit of New Age stupidity that had its heyday in the later 80s.

Bringing Hunk-Ra back later just didn’t make much sense.

Sheila Crosby
1 year ago

Now I want to draw a cartoon strip of Incelman. He’s average-looking but convinced he’s hideous and most strip revolve around his perception of reality and how the many, many, many clues that he’s getting this wrong sail right over his head.

Small problem: I can’t draw and I doubt that I could write in such a tight format.

Hmm.

Frame 1: Incel looming over a woman in that infuriating lean-on-the wall-and-trap-her pose. “Come home with me.”

Frame 2: Close up of her face and the back of his head. She is clearly scared and annoyed
She says, “I have to go. I promised the babysitter I’d be back by midnight.”
He thinks “The slut’s going to fuck Chad in the alley.”

Frame 3: She’s paying off the babysitter and the clock on the wall says 11:57

Ignatz
Ignatz
1 year ago

I remember as a queer kid when kids like me didnt see ourselves on TV, being very confused about Peppermint Patty & Marcy &….Chuck?

Patty & Marcy do fit some lesbian stereotypes, & the “sir” thing is explicitly gender-bending language (it came from Patty being tomboyish and bossy at camp); I dont know whether there was intent but it’s as obviously meant to be as Bert & Ernie.

A lot of characters that fit some queer stereotypes in past were also explicitly given a hetero love interest to avoid offending homophobes.

In fact, that is done today- one modern iteration of Scooby Doo intentionally gave Velma hair bows and boyfriend(s?).

All this makes me wonder how Krazy Kat got away with being non-binary.

Greebos Left Eye
Greebos Left Eye
1 year ago

Oh, good grief.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
1 year ago

@Ignatz—

I’m guessing the sheer overall weirdness of the strip distracted or drove off anyone who’d have a problem with Krazy being enby. Or a lot of people failed to notice and thought the Kat was female.

Around the same time period, at least one of L. Frank Baum’s minor characters (Chick the Cherub) was explicitly non-binary, and of course Ozma spent many years as a boy named Tip, so I suspect a lot was permitted as long as it was in a fantastic and/or humorous context.