By David Futrelle
Self-described “involuntary celibates” want the world to pity them as decent men who have been cruelly denied sex by too-picky women who reject them for the tiniest of physical flaws. This is absurd in itself, but it’s made even more absurd by the fact that incels themselves tend to be pickier about women than any mythical Chad-chasing Stacy.
Incels don’t just want sex with any woman; they feel that they’re owed sex with women “in their prime” — that is, young, conventionally attractive, relatively thin and, oh, did I mention young? That is, not women at all but teenage girls?
Incels — not all of them but a lot — exalt “teenage love” over all other forms of love and sex. And if they don’t get “teenage love” when they they themselves are teenagers, they think they deserve it as adults. The very thought that a man in, say, his thirties should be having sex with “old” women close to his own age fills them with rage.
In a recent posting on Incels.co, a prolific contributor to that site with a Dylann Roof avatar and more than 5000 comments to his name, asked angrily “How the fuck does society have the AUDACITY to tell oldcels to stick to older women[?]” In case you didn’t pick up on his bad mood, the poster, calling himself Turbocuckcel_7000, tagged his post with the popular Incels.co tag “RageFuel.”
Turbocuckcel made his case:
And by the way, when he demands some credit for not “ruining someone else’s future wife,” he means by having sex with her, because in the incel brain any woman who isn’t a virgin when she marries is basically a used-up harlot.
In any case, a commenter called Cuyen, with more than 30 thousand Incels.co comments to his, er, credit, quickly took Turbocuckcel’s argument to its logical conclusion, declaring:
If you are old and never had teenager love,then youre entitled to have a JB
Someone called Tempus Edax Rerum popped up with this bit of bad history:
The funny thing about this statement is that less than a hundred years ago this was actually how it worked.
Well, no, it wasn’t. In 1920, the median age of first marriage for women was 21.2, true, but the median from men was 24.6 — an age gap of less than 3 1/2 years. (Today, the median age is 27.8 for women, 29.8 for men, boosted slightly by the recent legalization of gay marriage, which meant a sudden rush of older couples marrying.) Looking this up literally took 30 seconds.
Turbocuckcel, naturally, agreed wholeheartedly with Cuyen’s rule, adding that the situation contemporary non-Chad men face is
a massive ripoff. like it’s not bad enough how you are likely to just be used for your money and divorce-raped as an oldcel loveless faggot anyway, you need to get the stinkeye from every sanctimonious fuckface in a 5km radius too if you have an age difference greater than 3-4 years in your favor. …
i’ll probably dream about dating and marrying a 20 year old girl even as they’re shovelling dirt over my coffin
Your dream is every twenty year old “girl’s” nightmare, dude.
Someone called Bernd worked himself into quite a lather:
I know, it’s always “ew grow up”, “immature”, “creepy” and “can’t handle an independent woman sweaty?”
It’s not like everyone can afford to live on 1000% of normal dopamine levels in their youths like females do. They live in some sort of hedonistic sinful version of the garden of Eden and fuck through waves and waves of Chads AND get stuff handed to them FOR FREE. This is somehow less big of a deal than men dating younger women.
It’s somehow “less big of a deal,” because the only place any of this happens is in your head, dude.
LMS-maxxed older guys [guys who’ve maxed-out their Looks, Money and Status –DF] fucking prime pussy deserve it. Because it is hard. Imagine through how much shit normies go to fuck 18-24 year olds that are below their looksmatch. Now picture it at 35+.
If you’ve worked your fucking ass off in life and got nothing to show for than a used up single mother wooing you with her requirement list, then it is not wrong to want even a tiny share of the enjoyment in life that foids get for free as a birthright.
Time to pull out this gif again:
Incels: Using their delusions to stoke their resentment and justify their predatory desires.
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Imagine your life being 30000 Incel message board comments.
I did a lot of posting on DA, but it was on stuff a touch more… let’s say “measured” than stewing in resentment for another gender.
One of my least favorite myths is that it was ever the norm for middle aged men to marry teenage girls. It really, really isn’t the norm and generally never was.
Also, doesn’t the “Jailbait” have anything to say about it? Incel dudes, if teenaged girls didn’t want you then, they’re not going to want you now. Not that we ancient old women want you either or anything.
I suspect their “teenage sex is the only sex” attitude is just more whine-enablement. After all, they want to stew in their inceldom. The narrative that “once you missed the boat on sex in your teens, it’s gone forever” helps solidify that. They need to believe that having sex now would not change their essential victimhood.
@weirwoodtreehugger:
Exactly. That was never the norm. Generally, the only time it happened was for men who already had enough power and status that they could pretty much buy whatever they wanted. They just chose to ‘buy’ a younger wife, and use their status to intimidate anybody who thought it was creepy.
Because even in the Gilded Age days of the big robber barons, ‘buying’ a trophy wife as arm candy was still seen as creepy by a lot of people.
I’m pretty sure that in their messed up worldview they do not. See also that forced monogamy thing they are/were so fond of a while back.
Also, turbocuckcell7000 is talking about self-improvement. I’m curious what he means by that since it clearly doesn’t involve assessing his own biases in a critical manner.
Somedude in the OP:
This is where the delusion resides.
I was probably the closest embodiment of this they’ll never meet and I didn’t get a whole lot of stuff handed to me FOR FREE other than the odd drink or two on a night at the NCO/EM club. I never in all that time (between ages 18-27) met anyone remotely like me. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced 1000% of normal dopamine levels, either. I’ll tell you one thing, though, I was never interested in anyone older than 30 (at that time, anyway.)
Someotherdude in the OP:
If that’s the way you feel, that the way you feel. I won’t say you’re wrong to want something you’ve never had, even if it’s something that’s largely fictional. The problems start when you start feeling entitled to have something when that something is a someone.
That’s when you can fuck right off.
geez…
this life-style sounds like such fun… can I play, too!
pardon me, now, I have to go THROW UP
A couple of points:
If you go back not 100 years but maybe 200, you will find an age gap of ten years or more between husband and wife not the norm but at least common. This was, to a large extent, because there were separate and opposite rules for men and women. A man was expected to be financially secure and established in his profession before he began a family. An unmarried woman was presumed to be financially dependent on her family, and thus basic fairness–and sometimes necessity–urged her to find a husband who could take up the burden instead. The men were encouraged to wait, the women to marry as soon as possible. This does not apply any more.
As for the notion, which Turbocuckcel seems to take as a law of nature, that men are scorned if they take up with significantly younger women, well…I have never noticed any blacklisting or public shaming of Warren Beatty (21 years older than Annette Bening), Harrison Ford (22 years older than Calista Flockhart), Paul Simon (24 years older than Edie Brickell), Michael Douglas (25 years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones), or Rupert Murdoch (26 years older than Jerry Hall–well, Murdoch has certainly received much opprobrium, but not for that). You might cite Woody Allen and Sun-Yi Previn as a counter-example, but I think for most people the age difference was the least objectionable element there.
Arranged marriage with much older men isn’t that unusual.
They’re basically always the result of desperation and extremely unhealthy power imbalances. It’s the powerful that get the creepy marriages, the plebes that get forced into them.
Well, you do see a fair bit of public side-eye if a woman dates someone 15-20+ years younger than she is…
Societies that currently maintain large age gaps with men marrying girls are some of the most oppressive regimes. It is usually a property deal, and the girls consent is not relevant.
I am guessing that many incels would jump at the chance to have a girl wife because they are so much easier to control, but you would have to live in a remote village in Yemen or India (for eg) to do it, and of course be a member of that society.
Sorry guys, you missed out again!
Bernd, maybe you could handle an independent woman if you took a shower and toweled off your perspiring body.
Good luck!
I love how misogynists never stop to think that women call out these dudes as not being mature enough to handle grown women, it’s not because we’re jealous of the attention they give younger women, it’s because we remember hating said attention when we were young. I have zero nostalgia for not being able to walk out the door without being sexually harassed. I knew damn well I was being targeted because I appeared vulnerable, not because of my irresistible hotness.
Source? I’m curious about this and would like to learn more.
Me again, Bernd.
I think you never sat through the entire story of the Garden of Eden in Sunday school. Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden — because they sinned. Adam told God that Eve was to blame for his own sin because she tempted him. Poor guy — he had absolutely no choice in the matter.
I prefer to call it surfing. I’ve surfed waves and waves of Chads.
Hmm. What have I gotten for free from guys. I’ve gotten presents from boyfriends, but I always gave them presents too, roughly equivalent in cost.
My very worst boyfriend (through his dirty bathtub) gave me a case of athlete’s foot that I’ve still got. It’s been years.
So yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve lived a DOPAMINE-FUELED LIFE AT THE EXPENSE OF MEN.
Whenever I think of Incels I imagine a person digging themselves deeper and deeper into a pit, complaining about how dark, cold, and dirty the pit is, but whenever anyone asks if they want help getting out, the incel says “No, instead I think you should get in here with me…and bring a girl”
“Oldcel”? Does everything have “-cel” attached to it now? Is this like Male Chauvinist Pig Latin?
It’s baffling the way incels think high school is the peak of life. So many people are miserable and alienated during their teens, even popular Chads and Stacys. Sex is actually kind of bad at the age when people are inexperienced, awkward, hormonal, and only have access to uncomfortable places like car backseats and gym towel closets because there’s no expectation of privacy in Mom and Dad’s house. Asking someone out, or even having your crush find out you like them, provokes nuclear, flaming embarrassment. At that age, hearts are so easily broken. Understanding of anatomy is limited. You can’t ever get back to that state, not at 25 and certainly not at 40. Why would anyone want to?
Incels think their lives are incomplete because they missed out on “ruining” teenage girls in high school. Maybe they should focus instead on experiencing the rest of the things they missed in high school: history class, science class, English class, taking turns, empathy, and the understanding that real-life people aren’t movie stereotypes.
@Turbocuckcel
Of course you will. You’ll be planning the wedding (How many to invite? A religious ceremony or a civil one? What kind of ring would she like?) and the reception (A vegetarian option and a vegan one too? What song should we choose for our first dance? Should I take dance lessons?).
Best wishes to you and the new Mrs. Turbocuckcel.
Yup nothing like sweaty, awkward, how do I put it in, teen sex. These guys, oh my god.
Even if this ludicrous premise was true, why the HELL would young women who are having the times of their lives riding the cock carousel want to come within shouting distance of a bitter, hateful old misogynist like any incels would be? The incel isn’t going to want to share, or make her happy, or do anything other than using the woman as an object for validation and satisfaction (and, let’s be honest, an outlet for his rage). What young woman would choose that situation over the hedonistic paradise that all young women immediately have access to?
Not only do these guys think they should not be judged for trying to prey on young girls, they think that young girls should be forced into being their victims. Because choice sure as hell isn’t being factored into this rant of theirs.
@Buttercup
Is there a story behind that?
Quoting this because it describes my past few years pretty well. And I’m a woman. Why does he think it’s different for women? Even if I were 100x better-looking (imagining that’s quantifiable), I’d still have to work for money. Even if the work was looks-based! Does he think models just wake up, pose, and get instant money? (He probably does.)
I’m trying to address the “helping others” bit too, and I can’t exactly get the words I want to say. Basically it’s this: it sounds like he thinks people help others for purely selfish reasons like money or sex. Of course helpfulness can be selfish – oftentimes it’s about wanting to feel useful or to be liked – but that’s only part of the motivation. The other part is just, well, seeing that somebody needs something and doing it for them. The altruistic part. Seeing people as purely self-interested is just an excuse for YOU to be like that. (end rant)
@weirwoodtreehugger: In April I attended the weeklong NYS Police Academy’s Crimes Against Children seminar. I was one of the few people there who wasn’t in law enforcement. It was… intense, but overall I am glad I attended.
HOWEVER, the last speaker (after a week of brutally detailed trainings from experts of all sorts) repeated this exact myth (that it was once common for middle aged men to have sex with young teens) and theorized that those who sexuly abuse children now are really just some kind of genetic throwback.
Obviously I had to challenge that, but I doubt I convinced anyone since hebwaa the retired NYC detective and I was some non-profit lawyer. It was so disheartening to know that our state police are being formally taught this myth!
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
I’ve always wondered if the incels’ et al fixation on high school might come from, among other things, having seen too many High School Romance Movies and similar media. (The fixation on cheerleaders as a status symbol is something of a tell, I think; that’s much more of a thing in high school fiction than actual schools in my experience.) And then on top of that, so many stories even if they’re not about high school feature teenage protagonists, if they’re reading YA or SFF or, for that matter, playing video games, they’re probably seeing teenage protagonists pairing off. It’s an incredibly normalised expectation. You can pick this stuff up by osmosis fairly easily even if you’re not going out of your way to watch this stuff.
High school movies and shows, by dint of having to force entire narrative arcs into that context, do tend to portray high school as being the high point of life (and I can’t necessarily say it doesn’t feel that way to high-schoolers, but media don’t need to be reinforcing that!).
It’s not that far a step from “teenagers having romance is a normal expectation” to “I’m abnormal for not having one, the universe must hate me”. Add in a bit of toxic masculinity and the refusal to listen to women, and I’m not sure a death spiral into incoherent fact-free nonsense isn’t inevitable once they start trying to explain why their (unrealistic, fact-free) expectations aren’t being met by reality…
@Lainy – There is a story, of sorts, behind that. Sophomore year of high school, at the beginning of P.E. class, the gym teacher asked me to go get some dodge balls from the supply closet. I flung open the door, flicked on the light, and discovered two of my classmates going at it on top of a stack of mats. *slightly awkward*
A couple of weeks later, during track practice, the sprint coach told me to go do 10 ramps by myself. There was a long ramp that went from the gym hallway up to the second floor hallway that we sometimes used for training on rainy days.
So I walked over, psyched myself up, and sprinted at top speed up the ramp. Right smack into two of my startled classmates who were making out in an alcove.
It was the same couple.