By David Futrelle
There’s a little bit of drama going on in the Am I the Asshole subreddit, where Redditors who suspect that they might just possibly have behaved a teensy bit improperly (but probably not) go to tell their stories and get a ruling on their asshole status from their peers.
Yesterday, a fellow calling himself TheCrocDude reported in with this leading question: “AITA [Am I The Asshole] for wearing “crocs” to work? (Serious, I may have just been denied a promotion)”
It was pretty clear from the outset that he expected Redditors to weigh in on his side.
Huh. That was a pretty quick jump from “I didn’t get the promotion because I dress like a slob” to “maybe I’m being oppressed as a man!”
First, as many people pointed out, Crocs — while tacky — may be perfectly appropriate office wear in a casual office, especially for someone who works out of sight of the public, or for some non-office jobs that require people to be on their feet all day. (In my exceedingly casual home office, where my only work colleagues are cats, I’m barefoot most of the time, and so are they.) But people in management at tech companies are generally expected to not wear giant cartoon rubber shoes.
And, no, CrocDude, the woman who got promoted over you would not have been able to get away with Crocs because she’s a woman. There’s no such thing as a “Croc Pass” that applies only to the ladies.
But the petulance of CrocDude’s post — I’m not going to call him by his real name, as he is an embarrassment to all Davids — and his belief that he was somehow discriminated against in his tech job for being a man suggest that the Crocs are really only the symptom of his unpromotability problem, not the cause.
And his other comments in the thread more than confirm this judgement. For, in the least surprising development since my cats starting to pester me for dinner an hour before it’s usually served, it turns out that CrocDude kind of a creepy misogynistic douchebag
When one Redditor asked him how exactly “wearing goofy footwear relate[s] to gender bias,” CrocDude offered this, er, observation:
Dude you can see she wears thong panties under her dresses, that’s unprofessional
Wait, what? Maybe she’s the one who should be going to HR, not you.
When another Redditor wondered why exactly he was monitoring his co-worker’s ass at work, he responded “Why are they looking at my feet?”
I dunno, dude, maybe because you’re wearing giant neon-colored clown shoes?
And then there was the whole George R. R Martin question. In response to a question from another Redditor that’s since been deleted — presumably for being offensive — Mr. Croc complained that his office rival is
the “quirky hot girl” who claims to love GoT but couldn’t identify GRRM in a police line up.
That’s right. He apparently thinks she shouldn’t get the promotion because he’s convinced himself that she’s a FAKE NERD in addition to being a thong-wearer.
Jeez, dude, you’re making Croc wearers look bad.
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@Scanisaurus
This might be slightly off topic from what you said but I had a friend growing up who admired a girl in our group or friends so much he wanted to be just like her. So when she got braces he wanted to get them to. But the problem was he had good enough teeth that he didn’t need them so before going to the annual dentist trip he would try to bend his teeth out of places so he would need to get them. He never succeeded. Sorry just a fun story your braces tale made me think of.
@ lainy and scanisaurus
There was a rather weird thing about fifteen years ago for people to wear braces as a fashion accessory. My goddaughter had to pester her dentist to get some. Of course, where I used to live in Hoxton, this sort of thing wasn’t uncommon. There was a trend for a while of people coming out in hair rollers, and indeed with those bits of silver foil in their hair. For more details of Hoxton life, see Nathan Barley, Charlie Brooker’s original website, or Neil Boorman’s magazine. Warning for language there though.
@Alan
I mean I’ve never had them but it makes since I suppose. I mean people do things for their teeth already in the name of fashion. Like stamps and grills and gold teeth. Hell I’ve hung out with guys that filled their teeth so they were sharp fangs….aw my concert days, How I miss you.
@Lainy, Alan
Huh, I had no idea braces used to be trendy, they certainly wasn’t where I grew up.
But the first time I had braces I also had the bad luck of needing to have small white rubber bands connecting the upper and lower jaws on top of the braces, and a friend of my sister genuinely thought I had threads of chewed up gum between my teeth before I explained it to him, and I can’t blame him because it really did look kind of gross.
@scanisaurus
Did your teeth stay straight at least? I know sometimes they move back.
@Lainy
Not quite, I still need a sort of plastic mold I stick my teeth into while I’m sleeping, and I have a thin wire permanently glued to the backside of the teeth on my lower jaw to keep them in place. Not the most comfortable solution, but it’s better than the crooked teeth I had before.
No kidding, I could touch the gum between my two front teeth with my tongue before I got braces, and I’m infinitely glad my country has free dental care for all minors.
@Lainy
You have no idea. I’m about 10 months away from reconsidering the aesthetics of belt packs (i.e. “fanny packs”).
The “no socks with sandals” prohibition is an injustice for people like me who have hideous feet.
@Moggie and @Lainy
Sandals! Yay! I’m in platform sandals or heeled sandals all the time and break the so-called “rule” of no hosiery with open-toed shoes or sandals, which is super silly because I’m NOT going without my tights and I love the look for my art. No socks though. 🙂
My silly phone autocorrect ate my “e” in my name on my last post but I put it back because it’s mine!
Stating that you find them ugly would be better, but also, it’s a little bit inappropriate in a thread where no one asked your opinion. Tgen it becomes policing people’s clothing choices. And yes, there are people who like how they look. Because people have a wide variety of aesthetic preferences. It’s ableist to police the clothing that people with sensory issues or pain wear by constantly disparaging how they look. And when you feel the need to interject how ugly you think someone’s clothing choices are or act surprised that there could ever possibly be people who like how they look, yes, you’re policing.
Doethreetwoone – Ohhh… Are we going down that road?
At the risk of giving away just what a physical wreck I am, I wish belt packs were a thing again! Purses (handbags, pocketbooks, etc.) just aren’t a thing I can carry because of shoulder and hand issues (thanks, retail!) So I wear the last two pairs of cargo pants I own when going out of the house.
Aaaaand so we come to the inevitable end of that road: Curse you, women’s clothing manufacturers, for making clothes with no/inadequate pockets!!!
@Hambeast
I got a skirt with pockets!! Deep ones!!
@Moggie and @Lainy
Sandals! I’m in platform sandals or heeled sandals all the time and break the so-called “rule” of no hosiery with open-toed shoes or sandals, which is super silly because I’m NOT going without my tights and I need the look for my art.
My silly phone autocorrect ate my “e” in my name before but I put it back because it’s mine!
@Doethreetwoone I ignore the dubious esthetics of ‘fanny packs’ in favour of having never had my wallet lost, forgotten or stolen since I switched from a purse. 🙂
@Hambeast
I saw a comment somewhere several months ago that said something like “As a man with decades of experience with the women on three continents I can tell you what women want. They want equal pay. They want to be treated like human beings. And they want MORE POCKETS.”
@StacySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved:
Welcome back!
@Moe Szyslak:
Yeah, what is it with that anyway? It’s not just dress codes and it’s not just one workplace. A huge number of workplaces, social environments and situations, and other gatherings and places seem to have a veritable minefield of nowhere-specified rules that newcomers are not apprised of, but will be treated harshly for breaking nonetheless. One assumes that these “minefield rules” are normally taught to people in some part of formal or informal schooling that it is incorrectly assumed that everybody gets.
Enforcing these is, obviously, both classist and ableist, since the people most likely to have missed the relevant courses are those who missed out on some or all of normal schooling due to some combination of poverty and disability. Had to drop out and work to support a disabled parent, or just to have enough to eat; could not attend normal schools due to own disability; etc.
The worst hit are undoubtedly non-neurotypical people of limited financial means.
Oh, fanny packs! Anyone British on here? Am I correct that “fanny” is slang? A Brit friend of mine finds the name fanny pack hilarious and wildly inappropriate.
I caved to shoulder problems and now wear a backpack instead of a purse. Plus comfy running shoes and baggy abayas (but with pockets, so yay!) Fashionable I am NOT.
@ bookworm in hijab
Indeed it is, for, erm, ladybits; so over here we call them ‘bumbags’.
@Doethreetwoone
Do it. There becoming a trend now. Beat the system my friend. Go forth and rock the peak dad look. You have all of my support.
@kupo
I feel like on a thread that’s literally about “is a guy an asshole for wearing Crocs”, giving one’s opinion on the guy and Crocs is, if not explicitly asked for by having a comment section on the topic, at the very minimum not anything to be surprised about. Especially since no one came to the conclusion that the guy was an asshole for the Crocs (other reasons yes, but no one said Crocs = asshole), and at least two of those doing the policing of clothing choice are those who wear the policed item, and, in my case, am somewhat required to wear them. I would probably be surprised if someone said “Yes, you are an asshole if you wear Crocs” that wasn’t a troll, but not at people giving opinions on Crocs.
@Scanisaurus
Yes please! Literally only one store 2 hours drive from me sells podiatry shoes that aren’t Crocs. And they are hella expensive.
@Alan
Is it really! I always thought it was slang for the butt! An elementary school teacher of mine used to tell her students “get your fannies over here” all the time… how much more inappropriate than I thought it was. o.O
Fanny Hill is exponentially a more hilarious title too: do you know if it was already slang at that time, or was introduced by that book?
@Scanisaurus
I’m sorry to here that. My brother had horrible teeth as well growing up. Stuck out of his lips and everything. I’m glad that they at least improved things for you.
@ Kupo
100% agree he is probably BS-ing in one way or another.
@Alan,
Yes, that’s what I thought. I guess “midriff-encircling mini-satchels” would be a mouthful…
comrades, its bad form to try to ask for more clarification or to try to debate someone who says they are too tired to explain/debate more.
to Kupo’s point; I have a large chest, and I hate it bc Im trans-masculine. When I was homeless, having left abuse, I had no bras, which was fine in back of house. But then women who werent my manager complained to my friend to tell me to wear one. She told me she disagreed but would help me if I wanted one.
I was pissed. They knew my situation. I was praised as a hard worker. I wore an apron behind a tall counter and made min wage. Bras dont really change much for me anyway. & didnt even have the guts to tell me directly! I basically decided to refuse. I didnt have any repurcussions for it thankfully.
If you dont like my chest, or shoes – dont look. If you are my boss, you need to tell me the actual rules so I can decide if I want to comply or seek other work.
I was also not really down w all the shoe hate. I mean its kinda funny and sure its trivial but it aint great either. I actually think they look cute. Its objectively subjective, lol
First time commenter here.. I read the reddit thread and I agree that the guy is an asshole.
However I became increasingly uncomfortable with the number of times the phrase ‘look professional’ (or a variant thereof) was used by commenters in the thread. It’s a vague, poorly defined term which I’ve heard used to shut down discussion.
After all what do the ‘professionals’ at Croc Co. wear?