Never give the temptresess what they want (your spooge)
By David Futrelle
Sometimes I get the sense that Reddit’s most-devoted semen retainters — the guys who give up both masturbation and sex in order to protect the mystical power of their pent-up love goo — aren’t just embarking on a slightly odd form of supposed self-improvement.
No, it seems like at least some of these guys also might have some less than positive feelings about the biggest threat to their semen-retention streaks: sexy ladies who make them horny.
See if you can detect the subtle hints of misogyny in this long screed posted a couple of months ago to both the Semen Retention subreddit and the somewhat harder-core “PureRetention” subreddit.
In the former subreddit, the semen-filled Redditor called Lightpowerwithin titled the piece “Assert Power Over the Woman,” which is already a bit of a hint right there.
He began by preparing his readers for a wild ride.
Some might think, I am sounding a bit anti-woman. …
But for the sake of ones own progress in life, hear me out. …
I must unserstand that the clarity of all that is Good in consciousness comes from abstaining from the woman. …
For when we partake OF the woman, the seal of spiritual power is sliced, depending on the depth of indulgence.
THE SEAL OF SPIRITUAL POWER
Good, Bad, I’m the Guy with the Gun.
The “Gun” being – “The Power.” – the power is like a cup filled with everlasting life. It is pureed to the tilt.
PUREED TO THE TILT!!!!
One mis-step can lead a spill in the drop of life. The “Pretty” faces we see in our day to day life can easily cause us to “mis-step” with our cup of everlasting life.
DON’T MIS-STEP WITH THE CUP!! BECAUSE THINGS COULD GET MESSY!
Being overly emotional, or even slightly passionate in the beginning stages of the ‘path’ can cause a drop in the everlasting life. Mindfulness of our thoughts is paramount. Holding our ‘cup’ as we traverse forward, getting stronger each day.
JUST DON’T DRIP THE CUP!!!1
Some fools re-joice in the presence of the lady. Their hearts jump when she bats her eyelashes and throws her hair.
BEWARE THE EYELASH BATTERS!
These same fools who hold their cup of life would give their power away in the blink of an eye.
THE BLINK OF AN EYE!
The womans presence can often have a man question his lifes direction. WHAT is more important to you? Steadfastly focusing with white-lighted intent forever burning into the timeline of life with your purpose?
STEADFASTLY FOCUSING WITH WHITE-LIGHTED INTENT!!
Or using your power to be given away to a lovers fling?
BEWARE THE LOVERS AND THEIR DASTARDLY FLINGS!!!!!
Blessed and righteous..
Is he who holds his power and integrity for himself. You cannot fake ‘the power’ – it is only given and accumulated with time and purpose, mindfulness in the midst of the feminine presence and what not.
AND WHAT NOT!
Today, a righteousman is few and far between. Bombarded with imagery of concubines the the ‘other’ life that leads to dependency and misery.
BOMBARDED WITH IMAGERY!
Be the man with the gun. Righteous walk, righteous talk, and righteous intention.
RIGHTEOUS WALK
Rise above the woman.
RISE ABOVE!!
The true nature of man is to lead. Rise above the devils that have taken hold of our minds. Kick down the exhaulted image of woman. The false idol that has been put above us. Destroy that Golden-godess image and walk forward.
DESTROY THE GOLDEN GODDESS IMAGE!!1
Never give the temptress what they want.
NEVER GIVE THE TEMPTRESS!
They are the tools of the devil. Get them out of your way. Let the temptresses that feed off trickery and attention be trampled and bombarded by our boots of righteousness.
BOOTS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!!
Even with the power, we develop the senses of discernment. We discern righteous women who loom youthful and fully of life. Be cautious. Assert domimance [sic] and put them to work. They have much to prove in this life.
ASSERT DOMIMANCE!
No, that’s Dom Deluise. We’re looking for DOMINANCE.
Ok, that’s better.
Walk the path of light. Do not fantasize about romantic notions and bullshit that will tie you down. If a woman cannot be chaste, cannot back your play, or get behind and support you, kick her out of your way. Cast her down to the weak and unrighteous.
CAST HER DOWN!
Walk your rignteous path of power and achievement. Be free. In the days of old, the women tended the gardens, prepared the food, maintained the household, weaved baskets, and other womanly duties. Such is her place.
The men fought. Killed. Hunted. Built structures and negotiated the deals. And lead the family. Nothing has changed from our primitive instincts other then technology softening the man.
NOTHING HAS CHANGED FROM OUR PRIMITIVE INSTINCTS!!
Kick the notion of woman down and become the strength. The blood. The power. The force. Through clear mind, clear will, a chaste heart. Assert domimance [sic] once again like the days of old.
ASSERT DOMIMANCE!!11
No, that’s Dom Deluise again.
No, that’s Dom Perignon.
Eh, I guess that’ll do.
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Guys like these are pathetic. Guys, if you’re reading this? What you are currently experiencing by depriving yourself of the pleasures of the flesh isn’t “Righteous Fury” or “A Man’s Birthright As Master And Commander Of The Universe.”
What you are experiencing, fellas… IS
RAGING.
SEXUAL.
FRUSTRATION.
And it’s makin’ y’all into assholes.
*blows out all the candles on her birthday cake and makes a REALLY BIG WISH regarding all the doofusheads of the manosphere*
Seriously, can somebody tell me what these guys think they’re going to do with all this sperm mana they’re hoarding? From what David has shared, the whole point of this exercise is to tell women, “No, I will not fuck you!” Which they could do and still masturbate if they wanna. If it’s in the privacy of their own home, it’s none of my business.
Has anybody invented a generator that runs on sexual frustration?
THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!
Victorious Parasol – that sounds like a dreadful/wonderful parody of the Sime/Gen novels.
And you raise a good point. The semen-hoarders believe that quivering with unspent kumdalini will make them irresistible to women – who will be denied their essence. It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma, covered in squick.
@Jurgan
If you start running around this blog in a red diaper and boots, I am politely averting my eyes. 😉
@Robert
Oh, I couldn’t do that to Ms. Lichtenberg. I understand she’s a very nice lady.
I admire your pun skills – “kumdalini” *snerk*
Pretty sure that the thirsty half of Twitter powers the rest and has excess to sell. 😛
“Steadfastly focusing with white-lighted intent forever burning into the timeline of life with your purpose?”
Er…what purpose? You’re remarkably silent about what all this is in aid of. If your purpose is to be alone for the rest of your life, that’s OK, but that doesn’t really ACHIEVE anything, does it? This sounds like a massive excuse, written beforehand with the expectation that one will eventually fail at …at …at just about everything.
There is one notable purpose for semen, and you’re determined not to use it for that, out of fear of failing. That’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, I’m sure.
@Kat:
@Moggie:
@Prith:
Pureed to the TILT!
========================================
PS. The tilt? Italicized? Get it? Get it?
This dad joke brought to you in honor of father’s day. Or maybe not so much in honor as in the other thing.
I’ve posted this before, and I’m posting it again:
Chinese proverb: It is better to satisfy the body, than to discolor the mind.
This sounds like something a superstitious baseball player would do to ward off the yips.
Reading this felt like watching Homer Simpson and Yoda fight over a keyboard, and then somebody let a 12 year old edgelord who doesn’t speak English spellcheck the result.
Either way, I love the inclusion of the Metropolis gif in this post. It’s an underrated film.
(Apologies to Julia Ward Howe – I just had to get those kazoos out of my head.)
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Reddit that’s No-Fap
where the posters meet up hourly to reinforce their crap,
misogyny and bigotry and lobster-boyish pap,
these assholes will yap on!
Glory, glory, they won’t have sex!
A choice that they believe will quite vex
all the women who can’t care less
but these assholes will yap on!
Purity of essence is their watchword day and night
to keep their sperm from harlots they are fighting the good fight
empowered by their semen, motivated by their spite,
these assholes still yap on!
Glory, glory, they don’t want sex
all the women will be so vexed
but No-Fappers couldn’t care less
so these assholes still yap on!
No-Fappers think “retention” gives them quite a bit of pull
with the women – who don’t want them, cause it’s all a load of bull
it isn’t liquid gold and it’s not irrestistable,
so, assholes, don’t yap on!
Glory, glory, they won’t get sex
and that makes them all feel quite vexed
the rest of the world couldn’t care less
and the women all move on!
@Tovius, cat walk you say?
So, what I am getting here is that these guys want to bed master of their own domain. Who knew a sit com episode was the foundational test of this new movement?
Hello.
Funny, every time i read or heard the word “temptress”, it reminds me of this old game. It is strange how some words bring specific memories.
And yeah, i am sure Miss Tep will cause your downfall. As much as Dame Ned.
Have a nice day.
Asking why these men are not yet revered statesmen or great scientists is naive. Obviously they WOULD be, if not for all those wily ladies sexily baring their shoulders at them.
Just like with all sure-fire solutions, the fact that it doesn’t work only means that they’re not yet doing it hard enough. For an in-depth explanation of this principle, just ask any Republican about trickle-down economics.
@ bookworm in hijab (if you’re about)
Hi. Remember the other week we were chatting about the UK’s Prevent thing; the anti terrorism/radicalisation programme. Well, you might find this marginally interesting.
I have an involvement with a few animal rights organisations; and I do legal work generally for groups and individuals in that field. But someone has passed on to me a rather interesting document they’ve got hold of. It’s the Prevent policy document from a particular education authority.
So apparently we’re terrorists too now.
I see a few legal challenges arising when some student is grassed up just because they do a bit of direct action.
This is another one of those instances where I’m wondering at what point will the author realize that this is what they’re doing with their life and have that moment of existential awakening.
I mean, the offbeat things that I do, cemetery crawling, architectural photography, lewd furry doodles and writing dirty stories are at least creative pursuits that I’ve cultivated over years and take some pride in. But very online people spending hours on forums devoted to this??? Is that what you really want to spend your only life doing?
@Jurgan
Glad to hear I wasn’t the only one getting a Zardoz vibe off of this.
@Alan:
Perhaps they’re thinking of this guy?
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2006/dec/08/animalrights.uknews
@LindsayIrene Thanks for the ear worm. 😛 😀
Why don’tcha prove your natural supremacy as “master and commander” of the universe by building a rocket and challenging the sun to a game of chicken?
Or really building anything whatsoever. For all their ranting about how men built everything and not ejaculating makes them supermen, none of them seem to even build model planes or something as a hobby.
Yeah, all you NoFappers, if your abstinence makes you super-powerful, prove it. I want to see a working nuclear fusion power plant from you by Friday! Or you can go build a space elevator or something. Advance us as a species. Solve some major problem, such as climate change. Prove your bona fides.
@Victorious Parasol:
I met Ms. Lichtenberg at a convention once; yes, she is a very nice lady from my experience. (Small kaffeeklatch-esque discussion about the Sime/Gen universe and inspirations behind it with only about a dozen people there.)
@Katamount:
I literally asked ‘is this the hill that you want to die on’ to a couple of the trolls here a few weeks back. At least one of them actually said ‘yes’. I don’t know how to get through to people like that.
With some of these folks it’s a lot like the evangelical ‘witnessing’, where the tactics used are pretty much designed to fail. Because it’s not about actually succeeding, it’s about proving that they tried and that nobody listened.
@Dalillama:
I’m reminded (again) of the whole ‘Sad Puppies’ mess in SF, where there were lots of these people who were so horribly offended by recent award-winning books and insistent that people were simply voting for ‘affirmative action candidates’… and yet those same people almost never actually answered when asked what books they liked reading or would recommend to others. Turns out there’s a correlation between ‘thinks fascism is a good idea and believes would never be on the wrong end of it’ and ‘doesn’t have outside hobbies or interests’. Possibly to do with a lack of imagination.