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Incel demands a “campaign to encourage women to f*ck potential school shooters”

By David Futrelle

Today’s Deep Thought from the Incels.co forums. (Well, ok, technically it’s a Deep Thought from January but I just ran across it today.)

Jan 25, 2019
#1
We all know schools around the world are filled with ugly, undesirable males. Most go on to be harmless losers, desk jockeys, janitors, suicide victims. But some go on to picking up arms and laying waste to normal slimes (No offense to any normal slimes or FBI that might be watching). Many of these men could have been directed away from their homicidal feelings. How? 

Pussy

Why don't women just take one for the team and fuck an ugly loner? They give their pussy out 5-7 times a week. Surely it can't be too much of a hassle to just fuck an ugly guy to save a handful of people, right? What's the big deal? If you could spend 15 minutes of your time on something effortless to stop a potential shooting, would you? I would. Roasties wouldn't spend 15 minutes just slinging some pussy or blowing a dick (Something they do without complaint almost every day!) Women are kind of responsible for school shootings if you think about. ER? Give him some pussy and he's happy. Columbine? 40 CC of snatch right away! Would 9/11 have happened if some female just put out? Food for thought

The rest of the thread is pretty bad but I’m too filled with existential dread to dig out the worst quotes for you all today.

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Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

So, presidential apologist Sarah Huckleberry Hound is no more.. .

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

@Weird Eddie:

Hey, don’t insult Huckleberry Hound!

Jackson Ayres
Jackson Ayres
1 year ago

I still don’t understand how a gibberish speaking cartoon dog got selected to be the White House press secretary.

Did Barron get to choose?

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

@Gaebolga:

I’ve always found the whole “if you don’t do X. then I’ll do [insert horrible shit here] ! ” type of argument completely baffling, as its entire premise rests on the warrant that the person threatening to do horrible shit has any credibility.

See also: Boris Johnson, and whichever idiotic Brexiteer it was who proudly proclaimed that the UK would become “Perfidious Albion” for reals if the EU didn’t give them a better deal. Was he honestly unaware that “perfidious” isn’t a compliment?

I was going to say that it’s a childish argument, but those usually involve self-harm — “I’ll hold my breath until I pass out” — or arguments like “I’ll run away from home” or “I’ll never love you again” that only work if the person you’re threatening cares about you in the first place.

@Jackson Ayres

My instinctive reaction is to ask people not to drag Barron into this; it’s not his fault who his dad is.

My immediate reaction after that is Of course not. Barron would have chosen his life-sized plush lion, who could hold press briefings just as often as SHS, but have the advantage of not being able to speak and therefore not lying its tail off to the country every day.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

In other great news,

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/jun/13/pepe-the-frog-creator-wins-15000-settlement-against-infowars

Infowars, of course, is claiming this is a victory because the fine’s only $15,000 and they claim Matt Furie was demanding millions. Furie denies this.

BlueNinja
BlueNinja
1 year ago

Dear, incel… Your shallow, empty, and robotic view of women’s sex lives, desires, and needs is one of the many reasons you will never be getting any.

Do without complaint? Did it ever occur to you that women are doing what they WANT and DESIRE to do and with WHO they wish to do it with (provided he wants the same)? That’s how frigging life works and that includes for women. It isn’t a thing just “given out” without any feeling or personal reason or want. No, no one is obligated and there is no team to take any such thing for. Grow up.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

If someone’s threatening to shoot up a school, then they’re the sort of person who – on a fundamental level – doesn’t have much of a problem shooting kids. And while I recognize that there’s a world of difference between shooting kids and keeping your word, I don’t think people like that deserve the benefit of assuming that even though they’re a murderous shitstain, they’ll definitely keep their promise not to shoot up a school if we just give them what they want.

This is why, if anyone were to attempt to rape me at gunpoint/knifepoint, I plan on fighting as hard as I can, because like I can take their word they’ll only kill me if I don’t fight back. (That said, who knows if I would freeze up in that situation.)

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

@Jackson Ayres

I still don’t understand how a gibberish speaking cartoon dog got selected to be the White House press secretary.

Did Barron get to choose?

I have bad news for you. Huckleberry Hound, a noble, lovable dog, is not the White House press secretary.

I also have potentially good news for you. The current press secretary will be leaving soon. It’s possible that, with public pressure, the White House will offer Huckleberry Hound this position. No, he’s not a right-winger — but he is a very popular figure. I certainly think President Trump would be down with that.

Would Huckleberry Hound accept this job? Possibly — if he comes to understand that, being smarter than most creatures currently in the White house, he has the opportunity to subvert this current fascist regime from within.

We on the left have our work cut out for us.

About Huck
Most of his shorts consisted of Huck trying to perform jobs in different fields, ranging from policeman to dogcatcher, with results that backfired, yet usually coming out on top, either through slow persistence or sheer luck.* Huck did not seem to exist in a specific time period as he has also been a Roman gladiator, a Medieval knight, and a rocket scientist.

Contact Mr. Hound in the Comments section of the following:
https://hanna-barbera.fandom.com/wiki/Huckleberry_Hound

comment image/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/185?cb=20090507054953

*Why not press secretary!

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Rabid Rabbit:

@Gaebolga:

I’ve always found the whole “if you don’t do X. then I’ll do [insert horrible shit here] ! ” type of argument completely baffling, as its entire premise rests on the warrant that the person threatening to do horrible shit has any credibility.

See also: Boris Johnson, and whichever idiotic Brexiteer it was who proudly proclaimed that the UK would become “Perfidious Albion” for reals if the EU didn’t give them a better deal. Was he honestly unaware that “perfidious” isn’t a compliment?

And also the alt-right: “How dare you call us Nazis! We’re going to become Nazis just for that!”

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Katamount:

Hark! I think I can hear Ross Douthat’s keyboard clacking away right now seconding Mahlo’s suggestion…

I know it’s not very big to make fun of someone’s name but I can’t see Ross Douthat’s without wondering what sort of hat a “douthat” is. My guess, based on the evidence, is that it’s like an asshat, only worse.

(Aside: there’s also a Christian apologist called Ted Shoebat whose name I can’t see without imagining a small flying mammal who eats the insoles from your trainers)

Ben (he or they)
Ben (he or they)
1 year ago

I know there’s so many other problems here, but 5 to 7 times a week? I’m exhausted just thinking about that.

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

I totally support Huckleberry Hound for press secretary. In fact, it would be better if we could just re-fill all the positions with Hanna Barbera characters.

Squirrel/Moose 2020!!!

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

@Cat Mara:

I feel the same way about Tom DeLay.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
1 year ago

@Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner:

Squirrel/Moose 2020!!!

Do you think their association with the ill-timed “Statehood for Moosylvania” campaign of 1962 will hurt or help their political chances?

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Lainy

Heard yous the fastest pussy slinger this side of the Mississippi, Prove your worth and draw.

My brain went very strange places with this that probably qualify as Too Much Information.

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

Moon_custafer: it could go either way. It could hurt them but they could also say that they’ve learned from their mistakes. However, the fact that Bullwinkle is its representative but only stays there 2 weeks a year could look a little… negligent.

Not that that ever stopped the right from voting for someone…

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Jenora

I imagine throwing cats at someone.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
1 year ago

@Yutolia,

Hannah-Barbera owns Rocky & Bullwinkle now? Didn’t know that.

sly fawkes
sly fawkes
1 year ago

The funny thing about these idiots is they think all women are attracted to “Chad” and “Tyrone.” I’ve never been attracted to a guy who fell into either the “Chad” or “Tyrone” category. As for “slinging pussy and sucking dick” every day, I’ve never wanted to do either on a daily basis, even when I was a lot younger and actually had a sex drive.
There are activities in life other than sex. Guess no-one informed Mahlo of this shocking truth.

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
1 year ago

@Redskillphoenix:

Jack Ward owned Rocky and Bullwinkle, and his company was owned by Hanna-Barbera.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

BRB, gonna go start a write-in campaign for She-Ra.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
1 year ago

Buttercup wrote:

If it’s just about tab B/slot A, then why isn’t he volunteering to “take one for the team”? I mean, his preferences don’t matter. The important thing is an incel gets to have sex.

I’m guessing it’s because of this pesky heterosexuality thing.

I mean, presumably incels could easily have charity sex with each other, just like women could have charity sex with men they aren’t remotely attracted to. But it wouldn’t be of any use for the other party, because heterosexual men are just utterly incapable of enjoying gay sex. Therefore, straight male incels couldn’t possibly satisfy each other sexually. Only (cis) women, with their magic vaginas, could do that.

In other words, while sex really is just about tabs and slots, there is some mysteriously powerful happiness-generating property in the “Slot V”, even if its owner isn’t remotely conventionally attractive or feminine looking and is actually only giving you one reluctant blowjob as a public safety measure.

(/snark)

Christopher Crosby
Christopher Crosby
1 year ago

Fucking ugly guys is not the way to create better humans.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

@Christopher Crosby:

WTF?

anon
anon
1 year ago

Crosby-cel:
If any species were 100% only mating with one very specific physical appearance, they would go extinct. Diversity is the driving force behind evolution; somebody f*cked that fish with legs, or that first critter with hair, or that wierdo ape who stood upright.
Humans have mated with each other for awhile now without such an absurd restriction as strict lookism, and our main problem as a species is actually hating people based on things as trivial as appearance.
At this point, imo, we can actually support everyone if haters just stop hating, share, and take care of the planet. We really dont need to worry about policing… mating…?

Aziraphale
Aziraphale
1 year ago

… well, not a campaign, but after there was a school shooting in Finland in 2007 (or maybe it was the 2008 one, I forget), I remember a male columnist in a respected national newspaper opining that the tragedy might have been avoided if some girl had been willing to date the shooter. I don’t remember if there was an outcry about this. I don’t think anyone would get away with writing that BS nowadays, in mainstream media anyways.

paul Michael tidwell
paul Michael tidwell
1 year ago

I can confidentally say I got busted when I was 16 for a veiled threat against the school and even if I had gotten laid if I had made good on it I still would have shot the fuckers who were giving me crap all the time.

it wouldn’t have made a fuck all of difference. I’d still hate those kids.

This guy clearly does not understand teenage boys if he thinks that giving us pussy will cause the homicidal desires to subside.

Thankfully wiser heads prevailed and I realized they were a temporary problem not worth spending the rest of my life behind bars for.

SanityNow
SanityNow
1 year ago

Not saying it is a magic bullet (no solution is) but the legalization of sex work will shave off a percentage of frustrated guys from metastasizing into incels.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

…. having sex won’t make them less ‘incel’, ffs. They are incels because they are angry at very specific things, and even if they do have sex, then they will be angry at the woman they had sex with.

Also, why are you wishing people who have the potential to be school shooters or crashing-a-van-into-a-crowd-guy on sex workers? Sex workers get to say no, as well.

Like…

frustrated guys

Is such an inadequate description/understanding of what makes an incel an incel that it almost beggars belief.

And if the next post is “Well, had I seen this when I was in X vulnerable state, there but for the grace of god go I!” SAVE IT.

We know.

Everyone knows that all men (apparently) are this close to turning into total misogynistic ass hats if they fall into a ‘bad crowd’ at a low point in their life.

“I was teased in high school, a completly male-coded experience! Then I found the incel boards, and I now hate women. And my canthal tilt!”

“I was ostracised when I was younger, also a completely male-coded experience! Thanks, incels-R-Us, for being the support network I needed!”

“I had a tough home life, something that has only ever happened to hetero cis men! Good thing I missed the memo to hate women for my problems, or I would have gone down a terrible road!”

If you were going to go this route (as many commenters, even here, have before) just imagine how it feels to find out that even the nicest people you know could have really easily hated you, had they found a message board earlier in their lives.

It sucks.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@paul Michael tidwell

it wouldn’t have made a fuck all of difference. I’d still hate those kids.

This reads to me like the reason you’re glad you didn’t murder people is because you wouldn’t have felt any better after. Please clarify if that’s not what you meant.