By David Futrelle
Several years ago, a certain subset of pickup artists became obsessed with ovulation after reading (or hearing of) a study suggesting that women on the verge of ovulation tend to be especially attracted to the sort of hyper-masculine “alpha males” that PUAs spend so much energy pretending to be.
Indeed, some enterprising PUAs literally began tracking the menstrual cycles of various women they were attracted to, using spreadsheets or apps designed for actual menstruaters, so they could schedule their seduction attempts for when their targets would be at the height of their horny alpha-hunger.
This sort of talk has largely died down in PUA hangouts like the Red Pill subreddit after, one assumes, a lot of failures in the real world. (The “alpha male” part of the original study has basically been disproven, though it’s apparently true that cis women on average do get a bit hornier before they ovulate.)
But hope lingers on, at least in the heart of one lonely incel who posted a plaintive query in the Braincels subreddit earlier today (and then reposted it in the IncelsWithoutHate subreddit). His question? Well, you might as well read it for yourself.
Alas, poor NiceGuy897393 got no useful advice, only mockery, in the Braincels subreddit, the main Reddit hangout for incels. The regulas in the IncelsWithoutHate subreddit were a little more helpful.
“That’s just not how it works,” wrote a commenter called
Miranda_Bonard.
women are not just idk, looking for sex when they are ovulating. If you’re not their type, they won’t want you. + how the fuck did you get to know her schedule? And being sweaty doesn’t help most of time when you want to date someone.
A commenter called Cavedwelling offered an even more detailed answer:
People are a little more complicaited than that, People don’t really work like animals. Girls feel a plethora of things during their period, …
And humans aren’t attracted to the smell of sweat like animals. Sweat is a bad smell, girls would be alot more attracted to a touch of cologne than the smell of bacteria eating sweat in your armpits.
If she didn’t like you before, she still won’t want to fuck you then. It’s best to just talk to her and feel out the situation.
Woah. “Just talk to her?” Like she’s another human being? There’s a radical idea.
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Well, I’ll be doodly-darned. The manosphere has learned the value of hygiene. Or at least ONE of the advantages of hygiene.
Fermions? Wut?
I had no idea the lay-deez are only attracted to my subatomic particles!
Where do you think charm comes from? 😛
For some reason, all I can think is that somehow, Gwyneth Paltrow will find a way to use this.
ETA: Anyhow, his logic is (unsurprisingly) ass-backwards. What do his pheromones have to do with anything? If there was any truth to this, the only direction this would be going would be the woman’s ovulating pheromones alerting guys that she’s more likely to be up for it, which just means that she’ll have more men than usual hitting on her, and some of them might even not stink.
You need bosons, bro. Because those(bosons) are force carrying particles which make stuff happen!
Fermions? No no no, it’s bosons that transmit the fundamental force of sexual attraction! He’ll never catch anyone’s attention with fermions, those just bounce right off.
*giggles loudly in failed physics major*
what did I just read
Well, I’m shocked that not bathing was an ineffective way to win over his crush. Who could’ve foreseen that?
BROsons bro. It’s all about brosons.
Beta cucks can’t accept the quantum pill. If you wanna slay with HB10’s you gotta get your quantum game going.
“fermions”
“ferimons”
“ferimones”
he spells it wrong in a different way every time. it’s kind of impressive.
Pheromones don’t do shit if she ain’t into you to start with. I can remember a guy I absolutely loathed in high school, who sat across the aisle from me in French class. He harassed me almost daily. And he reeked of Jovan Andron cologne, which — you guessed it — allegedly contains a pheromone that is supposed to make the wearer irresistible to women. I recognized the scent because I knew pretty much every drugstore fragrance available at the time by heart.
And no, it didn’t work. If anything, it repulsed me even more to know that such a total douchebag would rely on such a cheesy gimmick to endear himself to someone whom his behavior had already irreparably alienated.
Would-be Casanovas, take note.
Heyyyy, not bathing for a week will surely make the chicks dig me right???? ‘Cause Ferimons!
Some people think I’m strange but I just have a quarky personality.
Chances are the crush isn’t even ovulating. It’s like she’s on some kind of hormonal birth control. Which means she isn’t ovulating…
I’ve found that I can deal with people smelling a little (or a lot) sweaty.
It’s when they start smelling like a train station loo when things get dicey.
@Fenton:
Brosons repel ladyons. You need bonbons.
@parrellelogram Top joke, that xD
Because I’m sure many Mammotheers are wondering . . .
Yikes!
@parallelogram
Got an actual laugh from me. Nice one!
Did anyone point out those could have been her mothers?
And really … ick, dude.
Just think, there are only 827392 other Nice Guys rummaging through your trash to find out when you’re in heat so they can not bathe even more than usual. Grab yours now, ladies! There’s a shortage!
Ferimon sounds like a Digimon.
You should probably seed your trash with fake stuff to scare away these incel racoons. Things like a receipt for advanced self-defense classes, a “coping with Ebola” leaflet, a pregnancy test, etc.
No, auto-correct, that is not how I spell “defence”.
If women only want you for your ferry moneys, is it still worth it?
@kat
That is creepiest shit I’ve ever read.