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No, NiceGuy897393, your plan of hitting on your crush while she’s ovulating and hypnotized by your stinky “ferimones” won’t work

Dudes, there’s more to women than their eggs

By David Futrelle

Several years ago, a certain subset of pickup artists became obsessed with ovulation after reading (or hearing of) a study suggesting that women on the verge of ovulation tend to be especially attracted to the sort of hyper-masculine “alpha males” that PUAs spend so much energy pretending to be.

Indeed, some enterprising PUAs literally began tracking the menstrual cycles of various women they were attracted to, using spreadsheets or apps designed for actual menstruaters, so they could schedule their seduction attempts for when their targets would be at the height of their horny alpha-hunger.

This sort of talk has largely died down in PUA hangouts like the Red Pill subreddit after, one assumes, a lot of failures in the real world. (The “alpha male” part of the original study has basically been disproven, though it’s apparently true that cis women on average do get a bit hornier before they ovulate.)

But hope lingers on, at least in the heart of one lonely incel who posted a plaintive query in the Braincels subreddit earlier today (and then reposted it in the IncelsWithoutHate subreddit). His question? Well, you might as well read it for yourself.

Will my ovulation plan work? (self.Braincels)

submitted 5 hours ago by NiceGuy897393

Last year I got rejected by a girl and a few months ago I developed a plan where I would find out her ovulation schedule and only let her see me during that window of time. I also make sure that I am a little sweaty so my fermions get to her. I have been doing this since February but when I asked her out again this month she said no again, what am I doing wrong? I have done a lot of research about this and the science says that woman who are ovulating are attaracted to the men ferimons and are more horny. I have even been not showering a few days before i see her so my ferimones are more stronger but still no luck. Please help.

Alas, poor NiceGuy897393 got no useful advice, only mockery, in the Braincels subreddit, the main Reddit hangout for incels. The regulas in the IncelsWithoutHate subreddit were a little more helpful.

“That’s just not how it works,” wrote a commenter called
Miranda_Bonard.

women are not just idk, looking for sex when they are ovulating. If you’re not their type, they won’t want you. + how the fuck did you get to know her schedule? And being sweaty doesn’t help most of time when you want to date someone.

A commenter called Cavedwelling offered an even more detailed answer:

People are a little more complicaited than that, People don’t really work like animals. Girls feel a plethora of things during their period, …

And humans aren’t attracted to the smell of sweat like animals. Sweat is a bad smell, girls would be alot more attracted to a touch of cologne than the smell of bacteria eating sweat in your armpits.

If she didn’t like you before, she still won’t want to fuck you then. It’s best to just talk to her and feel out the situation.

Woah. “Just talk to her?” Like she’s another human being? There’s a radical idea.

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Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

Well, I’ll be doodly-darned. The manosphere has learned the value of hygiene. Or at least ONE of the advantages of hygiene.

Aron
Aron
5 years ago

Fermions? Wut?

I had no idea the lay-deez are only attracted to my subatomic particles!

Shadowplay
5 years ago

I had no idea the lay-deez are only attracted to my subatomic particles!

Where do you think charm comes from? 😛

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
5 years ago

For some reason, all I can think is that somehow, Gwyneth Paltrow will find a way to use this.

ETA: Anyhow, his logic is (unsurprisingly) ass-backwards. What do his pheromones have to do with anything? If there was any truth to this, the only direction this would be going would be the woman’s ovulating pheromones alerting guys that she’s more likely to be up for it, which just means that she’ll have more men than usual hitting on her, and some of them might even not stink.

BTGG
BTGG
5 years ago

my fermions

You need bosons, bro. Because those(bosons) are force carrying particles which make stuff happen!

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
5 years ago

Fermions? No no no, it’s bosons that transmit the fundamental force of sexual attraction! He’ll never catch anyone’s attention with fermions, those just bounce right off.

*giggles loudly in failed physics major*

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

what did I just read

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Well, I’m shocked that not bathing was an ineffective way to win over his crush. Who could’ve foreseen that?

Fenton
Fenton
5 years ago

You need bosons, bro. Because those(bosons) are force carrying particles which make stuff happen!

BROsons bro. It’s all about brosons.

Beta cucks can’t accept the quantum pill. If you wanna slay with HB10’s you gotta get your quantum game going.

brian
brian
5 years ago

“fermions”
“ferimons”
“ferimones”
he spells it wrong in a different way every time. it’s kind of impressive.

Bina
5 years ago

Pheromones don’t do shit if she ain’t into you to start with. I can remember a guy I absolutely loathed in high school, who sat across the aisle from me in French class. He harassed me almost daily. And he reeked of Jovan Andron cologne, which — you guessed it — allegedly contains a pheromone that is supposed to make the wearer irresistible to women. I recognized the scent because I knew pretty much every drugstore fragrance available at the time by heart.

And no, it didn’t work. If anything, it repulsed me even more to know that such a total douchebag would rely on such a cheesy gimmick to endear himself to someone whom his behavior had already irreparably alienated.

Would-be Casanovas, take note.

sly fawkes
sly fawkes
5 years ago

Heyyyy, not bathing for a week will surely make the chicks dig me right???? ‘Cause Ferimons!

parallelogram
parallelogram
5 years ago

Where do you think charm comes from? ?

Some people think I’m strange but I just have a quarky personality.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
5 years ago

Chances are the crush isn’t even ovulating. It’s like she’s on some kind of hormonal birth control. Which means she isn’t ovulating…

I’ve found that I can deal with people smelling a little (or a lot) sweaty.

It’s when they start smelling like a train station loo when things get dicey.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

@Fenton:

BROsons bro. It’s all about brosons.

Brosons repel ladyons. You need bonbons.

Keated
Keated
5 years ago

@parrellelogram Top joke, that xD

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

Because I’m sure many Mammotheers are wondering . . .

Miranda_Bonard
That’s just not how it works, women are not just idk, looking for sex when they are ovulating. If you’re not their type, they won’t want you. + how the fuck did you get to know her schedule? And being sweaty doesn’t help most of time when you want to date someone.

NiceGuy897393
I went through her trash bin after she takes it outside and found her tampon packaging.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

Yikes!

Shadowplay
5 years ago

@parallelogram

Got an actual laugh from me. Nice one!

NiceGuy897393
I went through her trash bin after she takes it outside and found her tampon packaging.

Did anyone point out those could have been her mothers?

And really … ick, dude.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Just think, there are only 827392 other Nice Guys rummaging through your trash to find out when you’re in heat so they can not bathe even more than usual. Grab yours now, ladies! There’s a shortage!

Talonknife
Talonknife
5 years ago

Ferimon sounds like a Digimon.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

You should probably seed your trash with fake stuff to scare away these incel racoons. Things like a receipt for advanced self-defense classes, a “coping with Ebola” leaflet, a pregnancy test, etc.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

No, auto-correct, that is not how I spell “defence”.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
5 years ago

If women only want you for your ferry moneys, is it still worth it?

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

@kat

That is creepiest shit I’ve ever read.

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