By David Futrelle
It’s succubus time again here at We Hunted the Mammoth. Over the years, I’ve run across more than a few weirdo misogynists obsessed with the notion of women as succubi, those (I think) mythical sex demons who disguise themselves as beautiful women in order to seduce men and steal their sexual energy, if not their very souls.
Some of these succubus-obsessed dudes are speaking metaphorically, of course, but there are others who think that sexy succubi are very, very real. Back in December, we met a Christian NoFapper warning his fellow “fapstronauts” – dudes abstaining from masturbation — that every time they jerk off, they are literally fornicating with “a spiritual demonic whore.”
More recently, we met a MGTOW with a distinctly different perspective urging his buddies to truly go their own way by kicking actual human women to the curb and dating succubi instead. He assured his pals on the MGTOW.com forums that succubi aren’t actually demons and don’t deserve their reputation as soul-stealing monsters. And that they’re pretty much dynamite in the sack.
It turns out that this view of succubi is not universally shared in the Men Going Their Own Way community. In one recent discussion on the SemenRetention subreddit — my current go-to forum for misogynistic high weirdness, as well as the place I am apparently contractually obligated to destroy — I ran across a gentleman called vulture_phoenix, a devoted non-ejaculator who is also a fervent MGTOW who believes that a significant portion of women in the world today are literal succubi.
Responding to a now-deleted post from a fellow SemenRetainer who’d (as far as I can tell from the comments) ruined his semen-retaining streak after some sneaky woman lured him into bed,
vulture_phoenix broke the bad news to him.
“It sounds like you have a Succubus,” he wrote.
This is not uncommon at all. These types of spirits linger within your subconscious mind, and can be the result of you seeing porn at one time in your life.
Uh oh. It’s possible I might also have seen porn at, er, one time in my life.
Or it could have been picked up during sexual intercourse with someone at a certain time.
Oh crap, I might have done that too.
Perhaps it was passed down to you through your family line …
Gee, thanks, dad!
… or even attacking you out of the astral realm because it senses your strong energy and it wants it. Only you know deep down.
Everyone in the astral realm knows that dudes posting on the Semen Retention subreddit are the most powerful sexual beings in the universe.
Now the Succubus is manifesting itself in the physical world as someone like you described in your post. Props on you for recognizing the pattern and it’s technique.
I’m guessing her devious seduction technique mainly consisted of her being willing to have sex with the dude in question.
They are difficult to remove, I’m not going to lie. This is no laughing matter … .
I beg to differ.
These spirits are everywhere, and most men have them as girlfriends or wives, so you are already ahead of the game by being single.
I’m pretty sure the women of the world also collectively benefit from both of these dudes being single.
You can see the same spirits when you go to the mall, or the grocery store, or the beach, or when you look at the hot girls on Instagram and Facebook.
The mall? There are metaphysical sex demons hanging out in the food court munching on stromboli from Sbarro? I’ve heard of mall goths but this is ridiculous.
They wear sexy clothes, and they look sexy, and you and every other man look at them and lust after them. You are a more difficult target for them because you abstain, and are on the right path, that’s why it does that to you with its lies and getting you right where it hurts.
Sex, lies, and succubi.
Most men are living with them, and have sold their souls to their succubus in the form of life or marriage commitments. Stay strong and do not give in.
DENY THEM YOUR ESSENCE!
You must realize that any woman you encounter is possibly a Succubus. You must protect yourself at all costs. Make no mistake about it, it wants your semen, (vital energy), and it will stop at nothing to get it from you. That is the truth.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s really that hard to get hold of semen. The world is almost literally awash in it.
It’s not fair, but due to the amount of porn in the world today and basically every man having sex, and getting women pregnant with girls is passing these things along to them.
They get stronger and more powerful each time you or any other man ejaculates outside of the holy bond of marriage.
Damn, they’ve gotta be pretty darn strong by now.
To clear yourself of this succubus you need to read the holy books …
I can only assume he’s referring to Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life.
… fast often, and guard your eyes from any lustful images, even in real life.
Get out in nature, and do not use any sort of drugs. Do not use curse words. And make sure you pray to a higher power for protection and cleanliness. Drink plenty of clean water, and avoid movies, and all types of music.
Damn. You gotta do all that? No way I’m going to be able to ward off these sexy sex demonesses. I might as well put up a “Succubi Welcome” sign on the door of my bedroom.
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I wonder if he realizes that according to the old myths most succubi just raped men in their sleep. (In retrospect, it seems probable that they were just made up to explain the existence of wet dreams.)
I’m trying to come up with a clever joke about incubi, but I have nothing.
LOL I fucking wish.
To be fair, someone following this advice would have a decent shot of actually going their own way.
I mean they would still be a misogynistic weirdo who is completely detached from reality
But at least they would be in a cave somewhere, not watching porn, looking at women, consuming media and being well hydrated. (Also why is the advice to drink clean water? Who voluntarily drinks DIRTY water?)
I wish I was a succubus to be honest. I wouldn’t have to pay rent.
Did this guy think that the Paranormal Activity movies were actually documentaries?
Wait, so marriage commitments are a form of soul-selling, but also marriage is a holy bond?
I guess holy marriage is commitment-free or something?
No, see, a succubus rapes a man, then turns into an incubus, then rapes a woman, and turns back into a succubus, and then the man’s stolen and corrupted seed turns into a baby which is thoroughly evil and/or has supernatural powers. The baffling part, is how do succubus-believers explain the current lack of wizards?
How long do I have to give up wanking before a succubus tries to steal my essence. Asking for a friend.
@Snowberry
That’s how merlin was born.
Cursing empowers succubi. I curse when I do something stupid in a video game.
Conclusion: succubi make me bad at games?
@Snowberry:
Exactly right.
They had no interest in keeping the semen. Rather, they stole it while in succubus form (by raping someone who could produce semen through trickery, magical beguilement, or – more rarely – force) because they couldn’t produce their own and then while in incubus form raped someone capable of getting pregnant. When climaxing, the demon in incubus form would squirt the semen of the first person they raped.
Often but not always this corrupted the resulting child, possibly permitting supernatural powers to develop, but also “sowing chaos” by making the children of one woman look like the children of a man married to some other woman. Men would complain that they weren’t responsible for that single woman’s child, it was a demon who stole their sperm that did it!
Yeah. Plus ça change.
So sex with your wife is the only non-succubus-generating form of sex, but also a bunch of dudes are married to succubi. Is it safe to doink with your wife or not? Help me understand, wise vulture_phoenix.
I’m sorry, Catalpa. You got there way before me!
“Guys, succubi are real and EVERYWHERE!”
Yeah, I wish.
Sure, I want migtoe semen…
…as far away from me as possible! That shit is demon seed if ever there was such a thing.
It used to be communists that were after our precious bodily fluids…
https://youtu.be/N1KvgtEnABY
That dude figured out the “going” part of men going their own way. Props to that dude. Now, if ALL of them could go away, that would be great!
I’ll leave them to it. I’m off to suck the sexual energy out of some dude who can find a clitoris. Ciao!
Love, savagesuccubi
The only problem with the theory that succubi were invented as a way to explain wet dreams away is the fact that the legend claims they took the semen with them. Which means there wouldn’t be any telltale stains to tell tales, so why would you have to make up succubi anyway?
@Savanah
So… many… jokes to be made about your last comment… :p
You laugh, but I speak for all my kind when I say we do, in fact, enjoy the mall. We like the ice-skating rinks in the upscale ones, it reminds us of the 9th circle and we get the tinglies for Satan in our pants.
The wanting spiritual energy and collecting it via semen is some weird shit though. Reckon it was some incel in the special hell that passed the word out. It’s like waterboarding, you can’t trust any information gotten that way.
All types of music? Even instrumentals?
Yes, all types. No joy allowed when facing the evil sperm stealing succubus
If I understand this scholar correctly, a man who watches porn and then participates in conceiving a female baby is to blame for the girl growing up to be a succubi.
Blaming a man: that’s vanishingly rare in a MGTOW. Of course, he does also say that the situation isn’t fair.
We should ask Yzek at which verse of the bible (not bible black, of course) succubi are cited… (/sarcasm)
Mall succubi feast exclusively on the semen of mall ninjas. Well known fact.
Shouldn’t they be out building empires or winning the Mrs. Joyful Prize for Raffia Work instead of banging out nonsense on the keyboard?
I prefer my succubi to be co-ed demons.