By David Futrelle
The Relationships subreddit — which thousands of Redditors turn to for relationship advice, and which millions more turn to for creepy vicarious entertainment — has always been a tad, well, asymmetric, gender-wise: the relationship problems that women tend to write in about tend to be exponentially more horrific than the complaints sent in by guys.
A guy will write in complaining that his girlfriend wants to watch something other than The Boondock Saints during their weekly “Netflix and Chill” date — “should I dump her for her lack of appreciation for this cinematic masterpiece?” Meanwhile, some poor woman will ask if they’re really in the wrong for complaining about their boyfriend’s ever-growing accumulation of piss bottles, now taking up half the living room — “after all, he tells me repeatedly, and very loudly, he pays half the rent.”
I made these examples, up, but trust me, they’re no weirder than the real thing. Yesterday, for example, one poor Reddit girlfriend turned to her fellow Redditors for advice on a novel relationship dilemma: Should she take a dump in front of her boyfriend to prove she isn’t cheating on him?
If you’re perplexed by that question, gird your loins, and read on:
I’m sure most of you will agree that the only dumping that should take place is her dumping him. Unless, perhaps, she decides to take the advice of Talia Lavin on Twitter:
Given the circumstances, this seems pretty reasonable to me.
Assuming this is a true story, that is. I mean, this is Reddit; the story was posted by a throwaway account; people have been known to go online and tell lies sometimes; etc. Still, everything I’ve learned about my fellow dudes over the course of my lifetime suggests that it’s at least a plausible story. I want to believe, and so in this case I will.
Note: Sorry to have to resort to screenshots for this one, but the mods of the Relationships subreddit nuked the original post. I borrowed the screenshots from @redditships on Twitter, which posts amazing crap like this on a regular basis.
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