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Ladies! Protect your right to gestate from men who want to grow babies in a box, world’s weirdest “reproductive rights” activist declares

Ladies! Protest your eggs from men who want to give birth

By David Futrelle

Most reproductive rights activists today are doing their best to deal with the increasingly likely reversal of Roe V. Wade, brought a step closer to reality by the draconian anti-abortion bill just signed into law in Alabama, likely to be appealed all the way up to the Supreme Court.

But the exceedingly sui generis reproductive rights activist John Howard — Twitter’s @EggAndSperm — has rather different concerns. Like men trying to gestate their own fetuses in a box, women trying to fertilize the eggs of other women, and single and/or gay people having sex.

I first ran across Howard in tweets from @Chinchillazllla and @NuclearTakes several days ago, and I’ve been trying to figure him out ever since. He’s no feminist, obviously, but he’s no Men’s Rights Activist either — he doesn’t seem to want men to infringe on what he sees as women’s fundamental right to gestate. He’s kind of his own thing, mixing the assorted bigotries of a Christian fundamentalist with the paranoia of someone who’s just read Brave New World for the first time. (And he seems way too dedicated to be a troll; he’s been at this for years.)

John Howard
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@eggandsperm
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Replying to @BrendaWestcott2 @jwblanding and 2 others
To support reproductive rights, we have to prohibit making babies with genetic engineering, artificial gametes, in artificial wombs. Females have the right to gestate and give birth, males do not. Females do not have a right to fertilize. 

#SexStrike
John Howard
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@eggandsperm
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Replying to @bjconk01 @rooshv
Congress needs to protect people from exploitation by giving them full information about their reproductive rights. Males only have a right to reproduce with their own genitals, they don’t have a right to gestate a baby in a box or make eggs from stem cells.

Huh. It never occurred to me that my inability to become pregnant was a right; I just thought it was a biological limitation. I guess I also have a right to not be as smart as Einstein, as well as a right to not be able to fly by flapping my arms. Apparently I have as many rights as there are things I’m unable to do.

Oh, and as a single person, I also have the right not to have sex. When Howard talks about the reproductive rights of men and women, he makes clear he thinks these rights (including the right to have sex) only apply to straight, married couples.

John Howard
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@eggandsperm
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There is no right to have sex or procreate except marriage. Single people don’t have a right to have sexual intercourse. #SexStrike

Congress needs to end gay marriage to preserve the sexual reproductive rights of marriage.
Undo gay marriage! Same-sex couples are not equal, they don’t have the right to procreate together. Only a male has a right to procreate with a female. Doh!

Howard is so sure that (straight) marriage is the only way to go that he’s managed to convince himself that all sex between single people is therefore somehow rape.

John Howard
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@eggandsperm
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Replying to @TheLaurenChen
All unmarried sex is technically rape because it is not fully informed consensual sex. It’s mutual rape, where they both are willing victims and perpetrators.

But Howard seems less concerned with this sort of “rape” than he is with the specter of gay marriage, which he manages to blame for everything from school shootings to the opioid crisis.

Gay marriage is “what the hell is going on” causing terrorism, mental illness, school shootings, opioid crisis, transgender crisis...  Congress must ban male pregnancy and end gay marriage. Men and women have different reproductive rights, not the same!

While gay and lesbian couples are shit out of luck in Howard’s imagined utopia, he’s an eensy, teensy bit more forgiving towards trans people — but only if they accept the fundamentally transphobic belief that trans women are really men and trans men are really women.

John Howard
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@eggandsperm
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Replying to @urkgurgle @canuckfreezeray and 2 others
Right, trans people are human and have human rights, the same rights they would have if they weren’t trans.

Trans women have male rights, to provide a sperm, not a right to provide eggs or gestate or breastfeed. Trans men don’t have a right to provide a sperm.

You might wonder why Howard is so intent on banning things that aren’t actually possible in the world we live in today — obviously, neither cis men nor trans women can produce eggs; nor can cis women or trans men produce sperm. But he of course has an answer.

aliens

No, really. His answer is “aliens” — or at least their technology.

Howard — while not a TERF himself — has some awfully TERFy concerns:

Trans women don’t have women’s rights though. Trans women have a right to impregnate women not be pregnant themselves, even after surgery and hormones and legal sex changes. People with the right to impregnate shouldn’t get to force their way into women-only spaces.

But he also thinks he’s got a solution:

The way to reverse this trend and make women safe again in changing rooms is to rule out the prospect of transgender reproduction. That will force them to accept they aren’t women, most will desist.

Yeah, that’s not how that works.

Indeed, Howard might well be the poster child for Not How This Works. So I’m just going to end this with that lady from that commercial. And every other gif along those lines I could find.

And for you Star Wars fans:

As for me, I’m just going to go lie down for a while.

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Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
1 year ago

John Howard, former Prime Minister of Australia? How the mighty have fallen.

Fetch
Fetch
1 year ago

Does Mr Howard think the menopause is a sin?

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
1 year ago

Probably, yes.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
1 year ago

Dave, try flapping your arms for entertainment’s sake, at least!

As for me, I had no idea I had “no right” to make myself unable to be pregnant. So no tubal ligation, huh?

I’d also like to know if Mr. Howard would be appointed Arbiter of All Human Rights for this planet by the aliens when they came to earth.

John Howard
1 year ago

Thanks for this write up. You have a knack for missing the point. Like, I mentioned “aliens” to make a point, but you only saw the word aliens. Your whole article is one dumb thing like that after another. And the comments.

Simple fact is males and females have different reproductive rights, and failure to recognize that fact is such an insult to reproductive rights, of men and of women, that it is causing misogyny and suicides and dysphoria.

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

*checks local ordinaces* Nope, in this jurisdiction everyone’s got the right to render themselves temporarily or permanently unable to reproduce. I’m not aware of any jurisdiction that guarantees the rights you semicoherently describe, past or present. Please provide a legal citation for your assertions.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
1 year ago

Whatever you’re smoking, John Howard, I definitely don’t want any.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

CW for transphobia in John Howard’s link.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I’m drunk but your spouting some stupid shit right there John. Necro someone else blog.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@John Howard:

I mentioned “aliens” to make a point, but you only saw the word aliens.

It’s not that we didn’t understand your points. It’s that your points are as stupid as the History Channel guy saying, “I’m not saying it’s aliens … but it’s aliens.” The stupidity makes the comparison reasonable. The fact that you actually used the word aliens just makes it funny.

@kupo:

CW for transphobia in John Howard’s link.

I didn’t see a link, but thanks for the warning.

Although, hell, it’s not surprising given the level of cissexism in his comments quoted by David in the OP.