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It’s Friday, so here’s an unwatchable video of Jordan Peterson set to lo-fi hiphop beats, plus BONUS insufferable memes

Ok, yes, I’m responsible for this particular monstrosity

By David Futrelle

It’s been another long week, so let’s end it with this completely unwatchable video of Jordan Peterson blathering over lo-fi hiphop beats that are decidedly not perfect for studying or anything else.

This dude has made like a million of these videos. I only made it through a few seconds of each one I looked at. If you can make it all the way through, let me know.

Once you’re done with that, here are some completely insufferable Jordan Peterson memes collected from around the internets. Why are his fans like this?

Not an ounce of humor in any of them. Also, I’m guessing that the Marxist ones were made before his embarrassing (for him) debate with Slavoj Žižek, in which it became clear that the only thing by Marx he’s ever read has been the 35-page Communist Manifesto.

By contrast, this tweet is pretty good.

She’s right. Cats are tough little fuckers.

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Aron
Aron
2 years ago

Personally I’m more a fan of

FIGHT CATS

USE DRUGS

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

Is that first meme serious, or making fun of him? I can’t tell.

I also can’t tell whether or not he’s masturbating in it, or just intellectually masturbating, as he usually does.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

I tried to squish that cat the other day (repairfolks needed access so I needed to move her to a different room) and now I have battle scars. Drugs would have been a better plan. Or brains. Do cats eat brains? She’s very picky about her treats.

Curious_Diversions
Curious_Diversions
2 years ago

I made it to “animals aren’t even real until they have names”. Ugh.

Also, claws beat skin. It is known.

Bina
2 years ago

Jordan PETER-son’s orgasm-face is the embodiment of Loser Lobster. If he “fights for freedom”, he’s already caged himself.

(See, I can cut up and toss word-salad, too! Here, Jordy, eat some…you look like you could do with some fibre.)

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
2 years ago

First meme be more like “When you claim to be top of the set of all possible dominance hierarchies.” Or so I had initially read….

TheKND
TheKND
2 years ago

Even for memes (which are to comedy what Peterson is to psychology), these were pathetic. And that with Marx is just… great, guys, he beat a man who has been dead for decades. Next time we watch him take on Lenin’s body.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

FIGHT YOUR BRAIN
USE CATS
DON’T USE DRUGS

@kupo, another Dr. Burstyn fan? He is so soothing!

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@The KND

Pretty sure that last meme is about his wet-fuse “debate of the century” with Slavoj Žižek, which wasn’t so much a punch-out as two inflatable punching boppers limply hitting one another.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@Moggie
Rhuu introduced me! 😄

Shadowplay
2 years ago

…which wasn’t so much a punch-out as two inflatable punching boppers limply hitting one another.

Dramatic reconstruction (fortunately without creaky Kermit voice)

http://i.imgur.com/iAWcYiO.gif

footprints in wet clay
footprints in wet clay
2 years ago

o_o

Ohhhh… oh, right, the drugs are for the CAT…… Sorry, my bad, I was kind of confused there for a sec thinking this was some very strange advice to offer at a vet clinic. XD You’ll have to forgive me please, I live in Colorado, so…

But yeah I’d have to be out of my mind on drugs to fight my cat, for sure.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ TheKND:

And that with Marx is just… great, guys, he beat a man who has been dead for decades

kinda like trump with John McCain….

Tovius
2 years ago

Any one unsettled by that pulsating Peterson gif?

@footprints in wet clay
I thought the same thing. Right up until I read your post, I was sitting here wondering how getting high is supposed to help.

@TheKND

Next time we watch him take on Lenin’s body.

Cheesynougats
Cheesynougats
2 years ago

I don’t know; if I got high, I might reconsider fighting a cat. Win- win.

Allandrel
Allandrel
2 years ago

“and that’s that”

Because as we all know, declaring victory in a debate means that you won and the other person is required to stop debating.

Oh, wait, the Laws of the Internet tell me that declaring victory in a debate is a pretty clear sign that you’ve lost.

CarrieV
CarrieV
2 years ago

But cats are my drug.

Bina
2 years ago

SQUISH THAT CAT!

Ahem.

I too love Dr. Burstyn. And Mr. Pirate!

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

In other news (and since I’m reading this as kind of an open thread?) it appears as though WordPress has banned/suspended Chateau Heartiste.

If it’s a permanent ban, that’s a surprising step for a service that has always portrayed itself as an essentially an online printing press.

Lurker LXVII of the Chattering Class
Lurker LXVII of the Chattering Class
2 years ago

I tried to watch the JP videos. I really did. I only got 5 seconds in, and then decided I had more important things to do, like pick my nose.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
2 years ago

Here’s another Dr. Burstyn/Mr. Pirate/Clawdia fan. Too bad they’re all the way in Vancouver.

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

I don’t know the sales numbers, but by chance had just seen his book has been marked down by 80% in a major Israeli bookstore. Won’t surprise if it means it hardly sells, since the “men’s rights” movement is hardly a thing in Israel, and the book itself is so bland and pointless (posture is important! Do not compare yourself to others too much!) the content is hardly a seller.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

If you can make it all the way through, let me know.

Super proud of myself because I made it all the way through.

My summary: When you don’t name or define something that frightens you, you give it much more power. The known is almost always less terrifying than the unknown. Harry Potter (The Boy Who Lived) got it right when he called Lord Voldemort by his name instead of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

I think of myself as The Girl Who Lived. And it is my habit to name the current occupant of the White House: President Donald Trump.

Michael
Michael
2 years ago

Well people should for sure never fight Goose, aka Captain Marvel’s cat.

Talonknife
Talonknife
2 years ago

The Jordan Peterson and Karl Marx as boxers picture reminds me of an old Scooby-Doo gag where Scooby hits an inflatable clown (kinda like a Weeble) that rocks back and then hits him, and he yelps and runs off. That’s kinda what it’s like watching Jordan Peterson fight a dead man.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Speaking of videos which are hard to get through, Rebecca Watson has a new one about Richard Carrier suing people, and it’s really… something. This is a guy who really needs to learn when to stop digging.

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
2 years ago

If you fight a cat and only have scratches, the cat wasn’t fighting. When they’re serious, the teeth are touching bone before you know what happened. I had a cat bite me four times in about ten seconds. That advice up there is Very Good Advice. In general, from more than a couple years working at a veterinary clinic, I would say this:
With dogs, you can wing it.
With cats, you need a Plan.
That being said, we had a lovely big boy yesterday for whom the Plan was treats. His whole exam, including vaccines, was treat-driven. He was a very nice boy who would put his front paws on my chest in order to rub against my face.

Gender Superposition
Gender Superposition
2 years ago

I think “an unwatchable Jordan Peterson video” is a little redundant.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
2 years ago

@Simon: I saw that. Apparently, Andrew Neil is a leftist now 😂😂😂 The degree of white-boy petulance displayed by Shapiro could only have been topped had he asked to speak to the manager.

Doethreetwoone
Doethreetwoone
2 years ago

When you’re already accused of being a reactionary bigot, is perhaps the white shirt/red suspenders combo a poor choice of attire?

TheKND
TheKND
2 years ago

@Talonknife

Only that in this analogy, the hot-air-filled clown is the one who threw the first punch. (see what I did there? I ARE SO CLEVUR!)

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Why does anyone take Ben Shapiro seriously as a political thinker?

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
2 years ago

Simon I read the link. It says a lot about why discourse has died in the US, especially amongst the right.
Neil, chair of the group that owns the rightwing magazine the Spectator, asks Shapiro incisive questions about his positions and Shapiro accuses him of “not being an objective journalist” and a leftist! Then Shapiro rage quit the interview.
Because in the US, conservatives must all march in goose step. Any exhibition of independent thinking and you’re cut out of the party. McCain was accused of being a RINO (Republican In Name Only), Burr is being vilified, I remember Bob Barr, a cohort of Newt Gingrich, being accused of being a (gasp) liberal for disagreeing on some minor issue.
Bipartisanship within and without this post-Tea Party GOP is impossible .

TheKND
TheKND
2 years ago

@Moggie
Because the planet’s standards in political discourse haven’t been this low since Caligula made his horse a senator. Scratch, that, I think Mr Ed would have the sense to implement universal healthcare.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

Particularly because the US standard of political discourse has been nonexistent ever since the right started shouting about the ‘liberal media’

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

OK, who died?

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

@ Surplus,

Your bread did, since you didn’t put it in the freezer!
Told you!

😀

Waving hi again to all, we’re still here, and reading along, just been busy. Taking some time off, having a few brews here, hola again from the usual crew here on the west side 🙂

Ottery
Ottery
2 years ago

When I volunteered at a vet’s office, I saw them try to clean a cat’s ears. Even in a little sack made for holding cats it caused so much chaos! Water all down every single person trying to wrestle the little beast and then it broke the zipper trying to get out! The vet ended up giving it some kitty chill drugs so we could finish the job with all out limbs intact. XD

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ Dalillama:

right started shouting about the ‘liberal media’

Not to mention the right’s fantasy abour “all the evidence is faked and all the people are lying”…

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
2 years ago

I noticed recently how The Student Room has become a haven for far right and alt right ideas, take a look at some of these gems. 🙁
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2636166

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

@Virgin Mary

Grrrrr, disgusting. And nobody calls them out, because the cis dudes don’t really care and everyone else is too scared and/or exhausted.

This is why misogynists need to be aggressively deplatoformed and shut down, IMO. Give them an inch and they’ll take a parsec.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

Note to self: Katamount, now that you have seen the High Park Cherry Blossoms, you never ever ever ever ever EVER have to see them again.

You know a city has become too large for a public park when the subway station servicing it requires a half-dozen supervisors to direct the multiple hundreds of people out of it before letting fresh riders inside. No wonder the park banned cars for the duration of the bloom; the sidewalks could literally not hold the volume of people.

I mean, I get it, the flowers are nice and don’t last long but jeeeeze Louise, why do people bring their kids who are clearly bored out of their skulls?

At least the cosplayers were out in style. I guess it’s the closest they’re going to get to Japan short of literally going there.

As for Peterson, speaking as an alum of the school he theoretically teaches at, I think Chapo Trap House said it best when they called him a “tedious wad.” I still get copies the U of T Magazine (along with the Applied Science Skulematters Magazine) and while I don’t read them every time, I usually give them a flip through just to see what’s new and cool around campus. Plenty of interesting stuff to find in medicine, robotics, nanotech etc. What I never see is “local psychology professor is dick to students, misreads Canadian law and pretends to be expert in political science and writes semi-legible self-help book”.

Almost serendipitously, I was strolling through Mount Pleasant Cemetery on my way to the nearby subway station to go to High Park and I just so happened to pass by a stone with a bronze plaque bolted to it and it was none other than John Anderson Galbraith, the very first Dean of Applied Science at the University of Toronto and the namesake of one of the Engineering buildings I had many classes in (not to be confused with John Kenneth Galbraith, the Canadian economist). When I think of my alma mater, I think of people like Galbraith and his successor H. E. T. Haultain, or Nobel Prize recipient John Charles Polanyi (who I saw speak once on the topic of nuclear disarmament in senior year) and renouned metallurgist Ursula Franklin. Not the lobster dipshit and his legion of mouth-breathers.

I think what really bothers me about Peterson is the more this Kermit-voice freakazoid is out there, the more people will think this is what intellectualism is. Granted, I think the JeeP has a shorter shelf life than he thinks and will eventually just fall into a niche for 4chan CHUDs, but a world where this guy gets fawning profiles in newspapers and magazines while the real scientists keep on researching in obscurity… something just doesn’t feel right about it.

Anyhoo, I was encouraged to see that at least some of the people who tried to make a buck off the post-Gamergate anti-SJW culture war have become so damaged that they are now cautionary tales about how nothing ever disappears on the internet. Laura Loomer freaked out on Alex Jones about how she’s unemployable at 25, Carl Benjamin has all but destroyed UKIP by joining it and running for MEP and Milo is trying (and failing) to auction off his gold throne to cover his debts.

Five years feels like a long time (especially these days), but in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing and we’re seeing the comeuppance of a bunch of chucklenuts who frankly shouldn’t have had the platform they did have, but have now crashed to earth.

Just wish the Tories here in Canada didn’t decide to go all Georgia in public and attend/promote anti-choice rallies.

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

Peterson seems to tell boys their problems are because of “society” or “women” as a whole. Misogyny aside, the worst thing to tell someone who needs help is that his problems are some vague general group.

I mean, by analogy, suppose I went to a therapist to fight depression and he told me the *real* reason I am depressed is because of the evil Jews. Antisemitism aside, it would be terrible therapeutic practice.

Richard Smith
Richard Smith
2 years ago

Question: In the last Jordan meme (“This man is your FRIEND”), why is he wearing Jar-Jar’s severed head as a hat?

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Why is Canadian TV now flooded with anti-Trudeau ads? I don’t see any other political ads, for or against any other candidates (let alone for or against policy positions).

Did they quietly change the rules to allow US-style big-money spending on third party ads or something? Something lopsided is happening here and I’m worried it could help the Tories get into power again and ruin everything.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
2 years ago

@Katamount:
There’s a reason why, when I went to High Park (after going to TCAF this weekend) I took the Queen streetcar to Colbourne Lodge and walked north through High Park from the south end rather than trying to get through the subway station. Less traffic that way, and most of the cherry trees are near the south end of the park anyway. (The fact that it was Sunday and raining probably helped reduce the traffic.)

TCAF (Toronto Comic Art Festival, for the non-locals) was fun. Lots of comics creators of various ethnicities and genders. The people who have done ‘Toronto Comics’ anthologies for a while had copies of their new collection ‘Shout Out’ (which was funded as a Kickstarter last November) which was billed as ‘queer folk tell the stories they’d wished they’d been told while growing up’. Along with several of the creators involved for signings.

Also, with respect to self-destructing careers, apparently Carl of Swindon’s repeated references to raping a British MP got him removed from the Youtube Partner Program, which cuts him off from getting a share of the advertising revenue.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/carl-benjamin-rape-sargon-of-akkad-youtube-jess-phillips-labour-mp-a8909296.html

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@Jenora Feuer

That would have been the smarter thing to do, admittedly….

Ah well, the Mount Pleasant Cemetery had cherry blossoms too, which I did photograph. But watch out for the security car! They’re there to bust photographers for reasons beyond me (I’ve been busted a couple times).

I’ve been considering going to a Toronto geek- or furry-related thing… just not a big fan of crowds.

Talonknife
Talonknife
2 years ago

@Katamount

Doesn’t Toronto have one of the larger furcons? I haven’t been to a con myself yet, and I’m mostly familiar with the American ones, but I think I remember hearing somewhere that Toronto has a really big one.