By David Futrelle
It’s been another long week, so let’s end it with this completely unwatchable video of Jordan Peterson blathering over lo-fi hiphop beats that are decidedly not perfect for studying or anything else.
This dude has made like a million of these videos. I only made it through a few seconds of each one I looked at. If you can make it all the way through, let me know.
Once you’re done with that, here are some completely insufferable Jordan Peterson memes collected from around the internets. Why are his fans like this?
Not an ounce of humor in any of them. Also, I’m guessing that the Marxist ones were made before his embarrassing (for him) debate with Slavoj Žižek, in which it became clear that the only thing by Marx he’s ever read has been the 35-page Communist Manifesto.
By contrast, this tweet is pretty good.
She’s right. Cats are tough little fuckers.
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Personally I’m more a fan of
FIGHT CATS
USE DRUGS
Is that first meme serious, or making fun of him? I can’t tell.
I also can’t tell whether or not he’s masturbating in it, or just intellectually masturbating, as he usually does.
I tried to squish that cat the other day (repairfolks needed access so I needed to move her to a different room) and now I have battle scars. Drugs would have been a better plan. Or brains. Do cats eat brains? She’s very picky about her treats.
I made it to “animals aren’t even real until they have names”. Ugh.
Also, claws beat skin. It is known.
Jordan PETER-son’s orgasm-face is the embodiment of Loser Lobster. If he “fights for freedom”, he’s already caged himself.
(See, I can cut up and toss word-salad, too! Here, Jordy, eat some…you look like you could do with some fibre.)
First meme be more like “When you claim to be top of the set of all possible dominance hierarchies.” Or so I had initially read….
Even for memes (which are to comedy what Peterson is to psychology), these were pathetic. And that with Marx is just… great, guys, he beat a man who has been dead for decades. Next time we watch him take on Lenin’s body.
FIGHT YOUR BRAIN
USE CATS
DON’T USE DRUGS
@kupo, another Dr. Burstyn fan? He is so soothing!
@The KND
Pretty sure that last meme is about his wet-fuse “debate of the century” with Slavoj Žižek, which wasn’t so much a punch-out as two inflatable punching boppers limply hitting one another.
@Moggie
Rhuu introduced me! ?
Dramatic reconstruction (fortunately without creaky Kermit voice)
http://i.imgur.com/iAWcYiO.gif
o_o
Ohhhh… oh, right, the drugs are for the CAT…… Sorry, my bad, I was kind of confused there for a sec thinking this was some very strange advice to offer at a vet clinic. XD You’ll have to forgive me please, I live in Colorado, so…
But yeah I’d have to be out of my mind on drugs to fight my cat, for sure.
@ TheKND:
kinda like trump with John McCain….
Any one unsettled by that pulsating Peterson gif?
@footprints in wet clay
I thought the same thing. Right up until I read your post, I was sitting here wondering how getting high is supposed to help.
@TheKND
I don’t know; if I got high, I might reconsider fighting a cat. Win- win.
“and that’s that”
Because as we all know, declaring victory in a debate means that you won and the other person is required to stop debating.
Oh, wait, the Laws of the Internet tell me that declaring victory in a debate is a pretty clear sign that you’ve lost.
But cats are my drug.
SQUISH THAT CAT!
Ahem.
I too love Dr. Burstyn. And Mr. Pirate!
In other news (and since I’m reading this as kind of an open thread?) it appears as though WordPress has banned/suspended Chateau Heartiste.
If it’s a permanent ban, that’s a surprising step for a service that has always portrayed itself as an essentially an online printing press.
I tried to watch the JP videos. I really did. I only got 5 seconds in, and then decided I had more important things to do, like pick my nose.
Here’s another Dr. Burstyn/Mr. Pirate/Clawdia fan. Too bad they’re all the way in Vancouver.
I don’t know the sales numbers, but by chance had just seen his book has been marked down by 80% in a major Israeli bookstore. Won’t surprise if it means it hardly sells, since the “men’s rights” movement is hardly a thing in Israel, and the book itself is so bland and pointless (posture is important! Do not compare yourself to others too much!) the content is hardly a seller.
Super proud of myself because I made it all the way through.
My summary: When you don’t name or define something that frightens you, you give it much more power. The known is almost always less terrifying than the unknown. Harry Potter (The Boy Who Lived) got it right when he called Lord Voldemort by his name instead of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
I think of myself as The Girl Who Lived. And it is my habit to name the current occupant of the White House: President Donald Trump.
Well people should for sure never fight Goose, aka Captain Marvel’s cat.
The Jordan Peterson and Karl Marx as boxers picture reminds me of an old Scooby-Doo gag where Scooby hits an inflatable clown (kinda like a Weeble) that rocks back and then hits him, and he yelps and runs off. That’s kinda what it’s like watching Jordan Peterson fight a dead man.