Categories
alt-lite alt-right Dunning–Kruger effect evil giantesses men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny post contains sarcasm twitter white supremacy whooosh! women aren't funny

Tallgate: Man uses SCIENCE and a woman’s wedding pic to rebut her claim of being seven and a half feet tall. (She was joking.)

We’re through the looking glass, people!

By David Futrelle

Perhaps one of the reasons that so many men are convinced women aren’t funny is that these guys have no idea when women are making fun of them.

Consider this exchange that took place on Twitter yesterday when a women who is definitely not seven and a half feet tall responded jokingly to a Very Serious tweet by white nationalist Paul Ramsey, aka Ramzpaul.

RAMZPAUL

 
@ramzpaul
 Apr 1
More
Shaking hands with a woman is like shaking hands with a child. It seems artificial and vaguely patronizing. The handshake was designed as a greeting between men to show that your sword hand was empty.

1,528 replies 412 retweets 2,108 likes

amy brown
‏
Verified account
 
@arb
 Apr 2
More
cool i'll just slap you in the face when i see you then

7 replies 5 retweets 456 likes

Alex Miller
‏
 
@a_millie513
 24h24 hours ago
More
I bet he could take you tbh


amy brown
‏
Verified account
 

oh yeah?? im seven and a half feet tall

4:11 PM - 2 Apr 2019
Alex Miller
‏
 

You’re 5’6” on a good day don’t lie


amy brown
‏
Verified account
 
im seven and a half feet tall without heels

So far, just a fairly normal Twitter convo. But for some reason Alex decided that this was a claim he needed to disprove with SCIENCE. So he tracked down a picture from her wedding and started drawing red lines all over it like a weirdo..

https://twitter.com/a_millie513/status/1113237087904514053

Well I guess that’s that, then.

It’s not clear if Alex also thought he was being funny here, but it seems like a long way to go for a bit that, at best, makes you look like a creeper with a tiny sense of humor and that, at worst, makes you look like a completely humorless dingus and ALSO a creeper.

Another tweeter offered this alternate theory of Amy’s height, though I think it’s possible he might have tampered with the evidence a teensy bit.

Doing my own research on the topic I have determined that, while rare, it is quite possible for women to be seven and a half feet tall — and even much taller, as the poster for this documentary makes clear.

Indeed, judging from the relative size of the cars in this poster, it seems like the documentary makers may have seriously underestimated the size of this very tall woman.

I will investigate further and return with some diagrams.

Note to extremely literal-minded readers: Post contains

SARCASM

We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

45 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Shadowplay
1 year ago

Well … I didn’t think I’d see anything stupider than janties today.

Wrong again.

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

This is the class of people exemplified by Paul “I’m a misshapen ogre and you’re not, which means I win” Elam and Jordan “if you can’t threaten to hit someone physically then there’s no civil discussion” Peterson. They take bragging about one’s size very seriously.

Chris Oakley
1 year ago

Most MGTOWs and MRAs wouldn’t know humor if it F-5ed them through a table.

Talonknife
Talonknife
1 year ago

I have a theory that white supremacists don’t understand humor because most effective humor involves either shared experiences or the subversion of expectations, and white supremacists’ lack of empathy and rigorous adherence to hierarchies and their idea of a “right” way to do things make them incapable of appreciating either.

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
1 year ago

This is the guy who thought it would be funny to mock a transgender teen who was driven to suicide by her own parents, so I’m not surprised he doesn’t know a joke when he sees it.

Fenton
Fenton
1 year ago

If she’s shorter than you are then why did her jokes go over your head?

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Boastful people often seem to have trouble reacting to humour which is either explicitly or implicitly self-deprecating – as in this case, where the woman intentionally played the role of “Internet blowhard making obviously fake claim”. When you’re all about telling the world how superior you are (e.g. due to your white dudeness), the idea of someone deliberately making themself look ridiculous does not compute.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

Shaking hands with a woman is like shaking hands with a child. It seems artificial and vaguely patronizing. The handshake was designed as a greeting between men to show that your sword hand was empty.

But it’s not artificial to shake hands with a man, ’cause he totally might be carrying a sword.

bekabot
bekabot
1 year ago

Shaking hands with a woman is like shaking hands with a child. (etc., etc.)

Hey, if you want to stand a foot away and hand me some candy, I’ll be fine with that. Just don’t try to pat me on the head: I bite.

Girl who runs with scissors
Girl who runs with scissors
1 year ago

Shaking hands with a woman is like shaking hands with a child. It seems artificial and vaguely patronizing. The handshake was designed as a greeting between men to show that your sword hand was empty.

True Fact: This woman is currently carrying a sword. (This sword – I have practise tonight).

I’m 5’6. The sword is 2’6. You won’t get close enough to shake my hand.

Besides – we train to fight with either hand. An empty right hand proves nothing….

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

@Girl who runs with scissors:

Besides – we train to fight with either hand. An empty right hand proves nothing….

It’s like these people learned nothing from Inigo Montoya.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Talonknife,

Plus, you have to understand something to be effective at mocking it. Right wingers don’t bother to learn anything about trigger warnings, non-binary gender identities, manspreading, affirmative consent or microaggressions. They just noticed progressive people using the terms. Therefore they are bad and must be mocked. So you see the same unfunny jokes over and over. This doesn’t come as surprise. Curiosity about the world and right wing beliefs do not go hand in hand. The entire worldview is based on ignorance and would fall apart if the believers actually evaluated any information in good faith.

As much as the right likes to think it will get better at humor, it never can.

Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
1 year ago

Girl who runs with scissors

Besides – we train to fight with either hand. An empty right hand proves nothing….

Well, it shows you’re not wielding two swords … unless you have three hands!

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@ Girl who runs with scissors.

Then there’s the Zulu/Scout Movement left handed handshake : ‘I have no shield in my hand, I trust you.’ I wonder what the alt-Reich make of that.

My fencing days are long done, age and a neurological embuggerance having taken their toll. Ambidextrous training sounds a great idea though.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

See, this is an example of the thankless work men have to do, because women are too busy eating bonbons. This guy actually had to put down his sword and do trigonometry in MS Paint in order to disprove feminism.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

Oooh, I wonder if this will lead to an epic man-trum a la Vagina-vs-vulva-Guy where he pens a multi-page screed about how his joke is objectively more humorous and quotes Christopher Hitchens about how teh wimmenz just can’t funny!

(Puts on popcorn, just in case)

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

To expand on the mysterious link I left in a comment last night (I was tired… really tired!)

Kansas University is offering a course titled “Angry White Male Studies” next fall. The University is getting some blowback (I’m SOOOOO surprised) mostly from conservatives. The following is from Kansas’ esteemed (read “moronic”) representative Ron Estes:

Instead of a course to unite people and empower women, KU has decided to offer a class that divides the student population and could pose a Title IX violation by creating a hostile campus environment based on gender.

A legislator whose voting record includes votes:

against overriding military trans ban
against overriding national (wall) emergency
against “Fot the People Act”
against enhanced gun background checks

and who is a member of a party headed by the most divisive politician since Jefferson Davis… should not comment on divisiveness…

comment image

Viscaria
Viscaria
1 year ago

I’m just tickled by the idea of Paul Ramsey going to, like, a white supremacist dinner party or something (whatever it is the scum of the earth do for fun) and every time a man extends his hand, Paul is like, “Ah, yes. He is no threat. I am appeased.” But whenever a woman extends her hand and he begrudgingly takes it, he’s thinking, “This is a ridiculous pantomime. Clearly she is not carrying a sword.”

How are women supposed to know you’re not carrying a sword, Paul? Riddle me that.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
1 year ago

Regarding the whole “shaking hands with a woman is sooooooooooooooooo artificial because ASSFAX” bullshit, it seems obvious that Pram-Man is unsurprisingly unaware of history, art, and culture (shocking, I know).

From Greece, circa 500 BCE:
comment image

Katamount
Katamount
1 year ago

If there’s one thing I absolutely loath about internet culture is its ability to make amateur sleuths out of credulous morons more invested in making themselves feel smart (or simply reinforce their own bigotries and biases) than in letting a preponderance of evidence take you in the direction of a suggested conclusion.

Because this is the same shit you see on 4chan /pol where the gormless smoothlobes there trawl Facebook pages and play all sorts of little Photoshop tricks with lo-res images in various attempts to dox Black Bloc Antifa members or even just random protesters that they turn into memes. They have a notoriously bad track record at this, but they managed to zero in on the guy who was eventually arrested by actually police for assaulting Trump supporters with a bike lock and they claim that it was their laughable sleuthing that broke the case (it wasn’t). So forget all the times their dumb memes with all the arrows don’t actually pan out, they managed to correctly identify one guy who committed an assault (meanwhile they worship “Based Stickman” and “Based Knifeman” that have actually injured or killed people far worse than the bike lock guy).

But all it takes is that one accidental success to have them feeling entirely justified in their bullshit.

@Weird Eddie

KU has decided to offer a class that divides the student population

This talking point is really obnoxious because I see it up here in Canada too, mostly leveled at the Prime Minister who had the gall to make it a priority to have a cabinet that reflected the population he was governing. Now, granted, his brand of “wokeness” gets a bit grating when you consider all the ways he’s failed to address inequity, but this was all it takes to have every web forum dedicated to Canadian politics accusing Trudeau of “dividing Canadians” by pointing out the ongoing structural bigotries against women and racial minorities. That’s right, acknowledging the problems is what’s “dividing” people, not the actual problems themselves.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@OP:
Yeah, what others have said. People who take themselves too seriously don’t really seem to understand the concept of friendly teasing or joking.

@Gaebolga:
And this in a place where it women were rather definitely second class citizens. (Epicurus was the first of the Athenian philosophers to open his school to women generally, and he was near the end of the high period of Athens, closer to 300 BCE. Everybody else previously had only admitted women if a male relative sponsored them.)

@Katamount:
I remember talking with someone in the U.S. a couple of years ago, someone whom I had already determined was rather opposed to Trump. He asked me what Canadians thought of Trudeau. My response was ‘Sort of like what a lot of Americans thought about Obama a couple of years in… he talks a good game, but he’s not really the game-changer we thought we were getting.’

Justin Trudeau is, in many ways, a much less experienced version of his father. Committed to doing what he sees as the right thing, sure enough to forge ahead in the face of opposition (valid or otherwise), and often oblivious enough to completely miss just how badly the people on his side might take what he’s doing when it becomes public.

Hambeast
Hambeast
1 year ago

Katamount –

…gormless smoothlobes…

That is a sick burn and I will be stealing it!

Weird Eddie – I’d totally take that class if it weren’t for the prerequisites and the fact that it’s being given in Kansas and I’m… not in Kansas. Or in school anymore, for that matter.

I think that reading this blog for years on a daily basis probably gives a lot of the same info and serves the same purpose if you don’t need the credits, anyway.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

The complaints about the course at the University of Kansas strike me as typical right-wing pearl-clutching. The phrase “angry young man” (albeit not “angry white man”) has been in common use on this side of the Atlantic since the 1950s to describe a particular literary movement that started in those years that espoused a particular kind of gritty social realism. Popular works associated with the movement would be John Osborne’s play Look Back in Anger or Colin Wilson’s non-fiction book, The Outsider. Ironically, the term was a derisory one coined by reactionary critics of the movement; i.e., the same kind of people complaining about it now.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer, and an only tangentially-related conversational diversion (you have been warned):

I now feel compelled to mention how fantastic the Epicurus the Sage graphic novels are, and recommend that you find and read them if you haven’t already. They’re written by the talented William Messner-Loebs and illustrated by one of my all-time favorite comic book artists, the inimitable Sam Keith — a pairing so good, I can’t help but effusively adjectivize them both.

The stories are made all the better if you’re at least passingly familiar with Greek philosophy and mythology. The depictions of Plato and a young Alexander (who gets foisted off on Plato by a whiny-ass Aristotle) are freakin’ hilarious….

Lauren Vork
Lauren Vork
1 year ago

Because god forbid you shake hands with a child, I guess?

Katamount
Katamount
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer

That was just the most perfect description of JT I’ve read. That’s exactly how I feel about him.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
1 year ago

I haven’t the verbal skills of Katamount (“gormless smoothlobes”), so I’ll borrow from that 90s icon, Butt-Head: “What a jack-butt-munch-ass-dumb-butt.”

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

People forget that JT isn’t just his father’s son: he’s also his mother’s. Actually, you could make a horribly stereotypical case out of him in terms of having got his empathy from his mother, softening the father’s intellect. In that PET was definitely an intellectual, but empathy was… not really his thing. I don’t think anyone’s ever qualified JT as an intellectual heavyweight, but a lot of his “I’m such a nice guy!” wokeness strikes me as a way of avoiding some of his father’s worst mistakes.

The difference, of course, is how many of JT’s decisions end up coming across as cosmetic — though even the cosmetic changes have their place. But I don’t think anyone ever doubted that PET had thought about what he was arguing for. He wasn’t so much oblivious as to what even the people on his own side would think as he didn’t care, because he knew he was their intellectual superior. Whereas JT, I sometimes feel, can’t quite see why anybody would argue against him, because he’s such a good egg.

Not, of course, that one should define him solely according to his parents.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Gaebolga:
Oh, I have pretty much every Epicurus the Sage story written, including the one with Cassandra and the Chariot of Apollo that was a short in an anthology comic once (maybe A1?). That’s where I first heard the bit about him being one of the first to openly accept women as students. (And poor Cassandra in that story. People realize she was right about the events of the story, start to wonder if she might be right about other things, and then she starts cheering about being proven right, and maybe now people would believe her about feminism… at which point everybody else started walking away again.)

And yes, little Alex was absolutely hilarious in his bluntness. “The last time I was with you, we ended up in Hades.” Along with the very Epicurean discussion of the relative happiness of going on a drunken bender versus solving math problems…

@Katamount:
If nothing else, I think Justin Trudeau could have done with more political experience to get a feel for how things work, because the man has absolutely no sense of potential scandals. (See also the invite list for the trip to India.) Granted, he was the best of a messy lot at the time, and Bob Rae was smart enough to not stick his head into that firing line.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

AsAboveSoBelow,

My personal favorite Beavis and Butthead insult is “fart knocker.” I have no idea what it means. That’s why I like it.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
1 year ago

Jenora Feuer wrote:

And yes, little Alex was absolutely hilarious in his bluntness. “The last time I was with you, we ended up in Hades.” Along with the very Epicurean discussion of the relative happiness of going on a drunken bender versus solving math problems…

The image of little Alex talking with such gusto about getting black-out drunk and getting into brawls was disturbingly funny. What was he, like 6? Barely knee-high to Epicurus.

Now I’m going to have to re-read that this weekend….

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
1 year ago

I remember this a lot in college. I’d say something that was clearly, to most people in the room, deliberately silly–“I am, of course, a world-class mathematician”, as I explain how I screwed up measuring something.

Future MGTOW of America, dead serious: “Oh yeah? What’s the triple salchow inverse ratio of Dunsany’s Fourth Quandrangle Extrapolation, then?”

Me: “Uh, eight. Definitely eight.”

FMoA, almost spitting in rage: “You don’t know anything about math!”

Different Dude: “Uh, that was kind of the point of the joke, man.”

FMoA: “This isn’t a joke. She doesn’t know shit about math, and she lied about it!”

Hostess: “WHO WANTS SOME POT?”

Hours later, FMoA is still muttering about how important math is.

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
1 year ago
Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Cat Mara

When you say university of Kansas do you mean K.U or K.S.U?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Lainy:

When you say university of Kansas do you mean K.U or K.S.U?

The one mentioned in Weird Eddie’s post, which is KU, I think. I’m not too au fait with all the American institutions of higher learning so when I said “University of Kansas” I assumed there was only one…

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Cat Mara

There is KU which is Kansas university. Then there is KSU which is Kansas State University. They are rival schools basically. KU is the jay hawks and KSU is the wild cats so they basically compete in all the sports and academic type things.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
1 year ago

Just like FSU and FU…

(Go, Noles!)

(…which is supposed to be sufficient to indicate the “FU” is a joke on UF…)

(…good jokes being ones you need to explain in some depth…)

Edited to add:

(…oh, god, stop me before I edit again…)

The Real McBae
The Real McBae
1 year ago

Then you have the one guy who got mad and called me a “man hater” and disrespectful because I DIDN’T shake his hand.

P.S, he treated everyone around him like real garbage and he relished in it and being hated by “brainwashed liberals”. I told him I don’t respect him and I wasn’t going to shake his hand, even when he cornered me the second time around with his cronies, trying to make an “example” out of me in front of his equally assholish friends. It’s like he was going to make me shake his hand, then brag to his cronnies about “this is how you break down a bitch.” Nope. He was the real bitch. Try to picture the abject redness and shock on his face as I calmly acted like he didn’t even say anything and went right to putting my hand over the shoulder and talking with someone else who was in passing about something actually very important. He pretty much pouted, stomped and slammed things against tables anytime I was around and just got even angrier when I didn’t jump once.

So either you run into the ones who see a woman’s handshake as worthless, or you run into these twats.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
1 year ago

I mean. I’m literally 6’7″ tall, without heels. Some women are really fucking tall.

Anyway, I strongly, strongly, strongly doubt that is where handshakes originated.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
1 year ago

Anyway, I strongly, strongly, strongly doubt that is where handshakes originated.

It’s been speculated that might be the origin, but if so, it’s wayway back there in the mists of time, ie, there is no time in recorded history when a handshake was literally supposed to serve as a sign of being unarmed. Greco-Roman art shows husbands and wives clasping hands as a sign of marriage. Female figures are shown shaking hands with one another–the Wikipedia page for ‘handshake’ has a picture of a nice relief of Hera and Athena clasping hands.

In the 19th century, there was somewhat greater gender segregation of handshaking. Women shook hands with each other, but less commonly with men, and if they shook a man’s hand, they were supposed to initiate it, to indicate to him it was acceptable.

Dude basically is inventing a literal significance for the gesture that it hasn’t had in millennia if ever, and then pretending that a social custom that’s been normative for the last hundred years or so is extremely awkward to him because he only clasps hands with other fellow Viking warriors to show that he doesn’t have a broadsword in his hand.

Which should be fairly clear. It’s not hard to tell if someone has a broadsword in his hand.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
1 year ago

Which should be fairly clear. It’s not hard to tell if someone has a broadsword in his hand.

You mean broadswords aren’t only visible the instant combat starts? And here I was assuming that everyone was carrying around invisible broadswords in their dominant hand(s), so that they could defeat their enemies at a moments notice without struggling to get them out of their sheaths.

Games and books have lead me astray! It’s truly terrible the lies we tell our children.

BlueNinja
BlueNinja
1 year ago

lol He took it so personally, setting out to disprove a total stranger as if it even mattered. haha

And “Ramzpaul” believing that handshakes were invented by men, for men, and…about swords? Hogwash, certain gestures that are universally understood are far more ancient, including greetings with an outstretched hand that are even used by some other apes, so its roots undoubtedly predate our species long before macho nonsense about weapons.

And if you can’t SEE that someone isn’t holding a weapon, then maybe stay out of the battle. lol

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

I just caught up with this thread now, and having finished laughing (gosh that Twitter thread was fun; how anyone could think people were being serious in response to that tripe about handshakes is beyond me), I’m just posting a heartfelt thank you for this:

I now feel compelled to mention how fantastic the Epicurus the Sage graphic novels are, and recommend that you find and read them if you haven’t already. They’re written by the talented William Messner-Loebs and illustrated by one of my all-time favorite comic book artists, the inimitable Sam Keith — a pairing so good, I can’t help but effusively adjectivize them both.

@Gaebolga, thanks for mentioning these, and @Jenora, thanks for your endorsement! I’m just about to order some new books and I wasn’t sure what to go for. I’m so looking forward to these 🙂

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Mish:
They’re fun. And have a bit of fun at the expense of misogyny.

(At one point in one of the stories, Aristotle is opining on how women are obviously less intelligent than men because their brains are smaller, which Epicurus in particular seems to think doesn’t quite follow. Later on, when they have to find out something that’s going on, they need someone who can pass for a woman at first glance, and Aristotle is the only one of them who doesn’t have a beard. While they’re dressing him up, and Aristotle is griping about this, Epicurus comments ‘Oh, just make your brain smaller, Aristotle.’)

Aristotle is full of himself. Plato is that guy at parties who has this idea and just will not shut up about it. Socrates enjoys trolling people. The books just have fun with it.