By David Futrelle
I‘ve got a piece up today at NBC News THINK explaining how one of the most toxic ideas popularized by the Men’s Rights movement has helped to fuel the hateful ideology of the alt-right.
Specifically, I look at the way the misogynistic notion of “hypergamy” — as defined by a white nationalist, popularized by Men’s Rights Activists, MGTOWs and “Red Pillers” generally, then fed back to the right — underlies the alt-right’s obsession with, and insecurities about, “cucking,” both on a personal and cultural level, which the alt-right weaponizes in its attacks on immigrants. Misogyny feeds into racism, and vice versa.
From the article:
This fear of female sexual “disloyalty” has its roots in the notion of “hypergamy,” a discredited evolutionary psychology theory promulgated by Men’s Rights Activists and similar anti-woman communities convinced that women are biologically wired to abandon loyal “beta males” as soon as an alpha walks by. Men’s Rights Activist Paul Elam several years ago wrote that it drives “women outside their marriages for more sexually exciting adventures … with physically superior male specimens” who can provide both better sex and more masculine genes for her offspring. Elam, like many other proponents of the spurious theory, is convinced that a huge percentage of married men are unknowingly raising children that aren’t their own. (Multiple studies, meanwhile, suggest the actual number is around 1 or 2 percent and has been for hundreds of years.)
“Alt-rightists” have taken [this] notion one step further, attacking white women not only for allegedly cuckolding their husbands but also for cuckolding their race by dating and having children with non-white men. In a 2015 post on The Daily Stormer, neo-Nazi polemicist Andrew Anglin denounced what he called “the greasiest cuckolding of all,” declaring, in all seriousness, that “[t]he White European female’s craving for Black d— threatens to collapse civilization itself.”
There’s a lot more to the piece, but that’s the key argument. You can read it here.
The piece has already inspired some deep thought and introspection among right-wingers.
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Another devotee of the semicolon. Judging from the British novels I’ve read, all Brits are.
He’s cats? Then of course he’s irresistible to women, not to mention irresistible to women.
I, for one, welcome our new cat-filled overcoat…
@Incelsior
Top marks on the name, everything else you posted… not so much.
Leaving aside the fact that reality doesn’t play favourites, I’m pretty sure the article doesn’t support your views. I don’t think anyone was arguing that young people, especially men, weren’t having less sex as it has been the focus of numerous articles over the last few years. The point of difference is down to the cause and most incels/MRAs/MGTOWers would explain this trend by throwing out terms like alpha/beta, cock carousel, etc., etc. ad nauseam. Meanwhile back in the real world the article, rightly, says this is down to complex socio-economic factors like employment, home ownership and the like.* I doubt it is any coincidence that the gap between young men and women not having sex diverges after the financial crisis. This is a genuine issue and it must be unpleasant being stuck in this rut – I imagine if I was 20 years younger I’d be right there too. However, the answer isn’t to wallow in it and blame others as that’s a toxic pit that isn’t easy to climb out of. There is no easy solution but you’d imagine true men’s rights advocates would work on helping young men become self-reliant and focus on self-improvement. It might not get you more sex but I doubt it’d get you less and it’d make you happier.
* I’ve seen other studies that show young people are drinking less and not taking as many drugs. I have certainly noticed my “luck” has gone downhill since getting sober but that was partly because I was using it as a crutch in social situations and I’ve had to undergo a period of self-reflection. This has left me in a much better place but it wasn’t quick or easy. I’m not sure if I’m arguing for: a) drink more or b) know thyself but skip to the latter, it’ll save time in the long run.
I disagree that the concept of “hypergamy” is discredited. Women are picky; they want quality instead of quantity. Women choose partners who are older, taller, richer. As women have grown financially independent, they are exercising their freedom to choose men who are hotter. This makes it more expensive for ugly men to buy their way to sex. Mens’ complaint is not hypergamy itself, but that current expression of hypergamy is not directed at me!
Men have responded by reducing work and school, and becoming slacker pick-up artists, house husbands, or MGTOW’s who forsake women in favor of video games.
@KL
Picky? No. Have standards yes. I’m not gonna sleep or date someone if the experience isn’t enjoyable to me. I have one life. I’m not going to waste it being miserable and having boring horrible sex with some dope who doesn’t know a clit from a nipple and wouldn’t bother to learn. And yes I like tall men with muscles, but the men I’ve been with like pretty women with bigger breast as well which is a category I fall into. There is nothing wrong with having a standard or preferences. Also most young woman doesn’t give a shit about money. We make our own and the men we date are probably just as broke as we are. Your spewing bullshit. I hope you know that.
@kl
Also if men really want sex that badly they could have it if they stopped being so picky. Sleep with a dude once in a while if you want it that bad. You have options just because they aren’t appealing to you doesn’t mean they aren’t options. Suck it up and get on your knees for a chance if you want it so badly
(Note to everyone else. this is totally a sarcasm on how stupid these fuck wanks normally sound. I am well aware people can’t just change their sexuality and what not)
The concept of hypergamy as fundamental to all women — which is what the manosphereians claim — is discredited. Completely.
This doesn’t mean that no women are interested in “marrying up”; there are a subset of human beings (including men! Shocker!) who value social status, financial wealth, and/or physical beauty above all other considerations in their mates. But I know for a fact, both from observation and personal experience, that hypergamy as a universal trait among women is utter bullshit.
Take me, for example. I’ve been married for 20 years to an amazing woman who could very easily have dumped my fat, ugly ass for someone hotter, richer, or higher class on many occasions. For the last 12 years (ever since she got her tenure-track position), she’s been making almost twice as much money as me. In her field, she regularly meets men who are more traditionally successful than I am (not to mention more traditionally handsome), a couple of whom have made their interest in her unmistakably clear.
She’s still happily married to me.
So much for hypergamy.
Edited to add: I just noticed that you lumped “house husbands” in with MGTOWs and PUAs. What the actual fuck?
Do you…understand words?
@Gaebolga
I’m sure your not ugly and even if you are that doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of love. One person unattractive is another person beautiful. For example I don’t find blonde hair very attractive. But to a lot of people blonde hair is a very beautiful feature to have. A personality is really a beautiful thing. There are some people that are so beautiful on the inside, that their personality just becomes their whole face once you get to know them and they turn into the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. I’m sorry, as someone who struggled with body issues and has many loved ones that struggle as well, I hate to see people speak badly about themselves.
@Lainy
Thanks for the kind words; I appreciate them. From what I’ve seen so far on this site, you’re a very good person, and the world needs more of you around.
I was mainly describing myself as any standard manoshpereian would see me; any redpillock or incel who saw a picture of my wife and I would be deeply, deeply confused and probably assume I was obscenely wealthy. But it’s certainly true that I’ve never liked my physical appearance. I don’t have the facial look or body type that I find attractive in men and never have, so I kind of gave up on that aspect of myself back in my twenties. As a teenager, I thought I was fat because I wasn’t cut…even though I was taking karate twice a week, aerobics three times a week, fencing twice a week, kendo twice a week, and I was walking literally everywhere (since I didn’t get a car until after high school and I was a social misfit). I was in excellent shape back then, but it didn’t matter; I still despised the way I looked (even though I could still see my feet ;)).
Funny thing, though: I didn’t use my own self-worth issues as an excuse to treat other people like crap. It’s kind of amazing how much better my life has been because I try to be decent to the people around me.
Why, it’s almost like there’s a lesson in there somewhere….
WTF @KL, let me break this down.
Going to need some stats on this one. I’m pretty sure that ‘women now having a choice on if/when/who they want to marry, rather than being forced by society to marry someone or be a spinster’ might have more to do with women ‘being picky’.
…. What? It means they can choose men they *like*, for whatever reason. It isn’t based solely on looks, I would hope it was based on compatability. Is their partner also their friend? Do they enjoy spending time together? That’s I think what people most want.
Are you saying that now men need to shower women in riches, so they will choose them? Again, going to need some studies to back this up.
????? Okay, if your logic was sound (it isn’t), wouldn’t men be working harder, to make more $$$, so that women would marry them and then give them sex?
Also, wtf with lumping ‘house husbands’ in there. That’s not cool. Men who stay at home to take care of the household are as valued as women who do the same, and throwing the men under the bus REALLY shows how you feel about the women.
Also, you can both like women/relationships AND video games.
Is KL taking the piss, because that last paragraph sounds too ‘sarcastic’ for a real incel/Miggy etc?
Not that it matters.
Keep up the good work, David.
I just wanted to say that it was a great article, however, it’s both sad and frightening that far too many mainstream news still don’t want to acknowledge the link between the alt-right and misogyny, or for that matter, the link between large groups of people saying misogynistic things and real violence against women and men not deemed “masculine” enough.
Methinks that Incelsior’s point is that lower percent of women report having a sex drought than men, which proves that women are all having sex with the same guy, because obviously women can only have sex with men, and can only define sex in the exact same way that men do, and etc. Obviously.
But I think the blackpill nuke here is that it proves that incels such as Incelsior are so repugnant that they turn women gay. (I mean, isn’t that how women turn gay-a man does it? Surely women can’t have thoughts or feelings outside of what a man does. I heard that women literally disappear like ghosts of air if a man isn’t there to see her.)
Prove otherwise.
@Rhuu. Men could try to work harder and earn more, but strident sexy women like @Lainy are no longer destitute enough to barter sex for a meal.
So now, connivers like @Gaebolga quit their jobs and get fit to attract rich ladies.
Or guys who can no longer compete just go MGTOW. Why don’t we ever hear about David Futrelle’s girlfriends!?
Finally, male rock stars, millionaires, and politicians routinely sleep with loads of vapid, broke women. It is called The Coolidge Effect. The reverse is rare. Men lack hypergamy.
@KL
Just because that’s something YOU would do does not mean it’s what Gaebolga did.
@KL
Does any dude who uses the word “hypergamy” know what that word actually means?
And isn’t just amazing that for as far back as I can remember, the narrative was that slutty, slutty women were having indiscriminate sex with lots of guys. Girls were being corrupted at a young age because they were being pressured into performing sex acts to earn colored bracelets! Oh noes!
Until a few young men committed acts of mass murder and cited sexual frustration. No all of a sudden there’s a no one can get laid crisis.
Either way, it’s always women’s fault that western civilization is collapsing.
I wish KL, or some other sad boner troll would instead of ranting about women are doing wrong would instead lay out in clear terms exactly what we should be doing. What’s the magic formula that would allow all men too get laid but without women being disgustingly ruined sluts. What’s the ideal world here?
No I fuck because it feels good and I found a man who likes to do the kind of fucking I like to do. I like to picture incels and their creepy little men like you running out screaming the second I show even 5 percent of my kinky side. You can’t handle sex with a woman that actually knows what she wants. You want her to lie there for how ever long it takes you to masturbate using her body but she actually wants to feel good so women don’t subscribe to your shitty idea of sex and companionship.
No (s)expert, but I’m pretty sure someone having sex with you because they really, really WANT to would be a heck of a lot more enjoyable than someone having sex with you because they really, really need food*.
I’m not sure why KL is acting like the second case should somehow be preferable.
Actually, that whole bit of his comment creepily directed at Rhuu and using Lainy as a prop is kinda really disgusting. And Ew.
So much ew. All my ew.
Dude, if you don’t have anyone who wants to marry you, I’m pretty sure I know what your problem is.
Hint: it is not hypergamy.
*For any decent person, I’m pretty sure NO sex would be preferable to I-Need-Food sex. If for some reason you disagree with this premise and would prefer to have sex with someone ONLY having sex out of desire to not starve: you are a terrible person and should probably stay far away from all other people.
@Contrapangloss
I find it creepy that he called me sexy when he knows nothing of what I look like. In the past threads I have mentioned that I am 20 years old, thin and short, and have red hair. Young and small is apparently this guys definition of sexy. He also talked about me like I’m an object that should be given to people. Not flesh and blood with feelings, desires, and passion just like everyone else. Dudes a major creeper and supper sus.
@WWTH: Many commenters here are easily triggered by mild parody that does not cross the threshold of trolling. I’ll address your sincere question.
First, incels’ complaint is not that women are having too much sex. They are just having sex with everyone but me.
I appreciate why this blog attracts commenters who are sensitive to misogyny. But there is a lack of understanding and empathy for the male perspective. Male wages have fallen. While mens’ labor force participation has declined, it still exceeds womens’. But men still deal with sexist expectations of career success. Men are disproportionate victims of violence, including suicide.
@WWTH, continued: So a lot of disenfranchised men are unhappy. Read Houllebecq’s “Whatever” about the hopeless plight of incels. In this condition, there is still the sexist equilibrium that men are expected to initiate the search costs of courtship, endure rejection, and of course, pay for it. Technology has enabled women to flirt with more men, and raised their standards. But the average woman still only gets the average man. Meanwhile, the average man must launch a long, costly, frustrating search just to get his equal. Naturally men reduce their investment, and broaden their search. Hello Tinder!
@WWRH cont.: in this bad equilibrium, a few hot men succeed disproportionately, and there is a rising fraction of men reporting no sex. Most women are unaware of the amount of rejection, flakiness, dinner whores, and abuse that the average man must endure to get a reasonable partner and avoid incelibacy.
You can avoid stringinging men along. Do not encourage misguided suitors. Make it clear that you have no interest, and then block them. And discourage sexist, gynocentric expectations of men.
P.S.: I remember our host uncritically repeating Jezebel libel calling someone a literal rapist. Misandry and misogyny coexist.
@KL
Ah. That was parody, was it? Was that why it sounded exactly like something a mramigpuacel would say? Was that why it was lacking any exagerations or absurdity (it’s far less absurd and funny when that is what they actually believe)?
Truth is, you just suck at parodying their beliefs. Please, have some respect for the art of parody.