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New incel theory: Gay men are just “beta orbiters” who worship women so much they want to become them

Beta males looking for a woman to orbit

By David Futrelle

Apparently not content with being completely wrong about female sexuality, incels seem to be working overtime on being equally wrong about male sexuality as well.

And they’re doing a bang-up job so far.

Earlier this month, a self-described IncelFascist calling himself NeetSupremacist offered his colleagues on Incels.is his “theory” about gay men: that the vast majority of them are former straight incels who decided to “turn gay” because they couldn’t get any women to fuck them.

Oh, sure, he said, there are some guys who are born gay — or, as he puts it, guys who have “mentally [sic] disorders which makes them gay and having a preference to the same sex counterpart,” whatever that last bit means. But, as he sees it, these real gay guys are the exception, not the rule.

As Mr. Supremacist sees it, most of the non-real gay guys who choose to become gay do so in their “prime time” between the age of 16 and 23 when they “suddenly become gay and try to fuck guys.” Never mind that these are the years when most sexually active people, regardless of sexual orientation, become sexually active. In his mind this is PROOF his theory is correct.

How come so? My theory here is that they have no success with females and they want to get laid, so they start watching gay porn and other shit and suddenly they are attracted to gay people.

There are certainly guys who discover they’re attracted to guys by watching porn — and other guys who discovered the same thing watching Chris Hemsworth in The Avengers. But watching gay porn doesn’t turn you gay.

They go to gay bars and see that they have success and before they know they are enjoying anal penetration to it’s fullest. Anal penetration is better than vaginal penetration in terms of tightness. 

Er, not sure why we’re suddenly talking about anal sex but I’m pretty sure you don;t have to be a gay guy to be into butfucking. And you don’t have to be into buttfucking to be a gay guy.

Many people gay people talk very feminine because they’re naturally low testosterone, having low T comes with having a high pitched voice which gives that ‘gay vibe’ and-thus resulting in talking like a female.

None of this is true. Gay men aren’t gay because of a lack of testosterone.

Many gays are bad framed low T subhumans (incels) and they become gay voluntary to escape their inceldom.

[citation needed]

Ask yourself the following question when you see gay people, are there any Chads? Yes I’ve seen some Chadlites and Chads within the gay community, but it was a minority. Most gays are ugly manlets and soyboy looking geeks, they are average and below average looking without any chance on the current dating market. Current society + gay media halo is pushing ugly and average guys to become gay in order to enjoy a sex-life.

Even aside from the repulsiveness of defining groups of people as “subhuman,” the fact is that gay men are generally held to higher standards of conventional physical attractiveness than straight men, as evidenced by the higher percentage of gay men who have body issues. And also evidenced by, well, just take a look at straight men.

But seriously, as I feel compelled to restate pretty much every time I write about incels: plenty of the straight guys that incels deem “subhuman” somehow don’t have the problem that incels have finding sexual partners.

This may be related to the fact that most of these guys, unlike incels, don’t go around calling women “roasties” or “foids” on a regular basis.

The only thing in Mr. Supremacist’s analysis that even approaches truth is the fact that guys who consider themselves straight sometimes do have sex with other men, for all sorts of reasons, sexual frustration being one of them.

But sexual activities are different than sexual orientations. Sure, some self-identified straight guys may realize they aren’t really so straight after trying gay sex; maybe they’re gay, maybe they’re bi, maybe they’d rather classify themselves as “heteroflexible” or some other label.

But others, even if they enjoy the experience, will continue to see themselves as straight for the simple reason that their sexual and romantic desires are and remain centered on women. Gay sex doesn’t actually turn straight people gay (or bi, or whatever) any more than straight sex can turn gay people straight.

Oh, but we haven’t even gotten to the most, well, advanced part of Mr. Supremacist’s theory: that gay men are really just “beta orbiters” of women who’ve taken their beta orbiting to the extreme!

I may have to resort to reaction gifs to get through the next few, er, theoretical claims of his,

“Basically,” he hetsplains,

being gay is taking beta orbiting to a new [level]. Instead of becoming the cuckold slave of the girl you become attracted to a man just to become ‘friends’ with the girl.

You worship the girl and the worshipping of femoids has reached a [level] that you want to behave and act like a female, you also take female preference habits (and females prefer to fuck men over other females) so you as a man also want to fuck men.

Sometimes it takes more than one gif.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Mr. Supremacist does not approve of his fellow incels allegedly gaying it up to get sex.

Nope! The guy who spends his spare time posting hateful nonsense on a forum where the regulars call women “femoids” and fantasize endlessly about murdering people in large numbers considers gayness a “cycle of disgustingness and sickness” and thinks those incels who have allegedly converted to gayness should be converted right back.

“[G]ayness is an illness that we should try to cure,” he writes.

I really like the idea of Christian Americans and how they create camps and schools to cure gay people by teaching them about the moral wrongdoing of being gay. They basically approach gayness as a mental illness and many gays tend to change after taking these gay curing sessions within these American Christian communities.

No, these programs — based on bad science and homophobia — don’t work. They just make those who undergo them more miserable. Though I imagine that to Mr. NeetSupremacist, the self-described IncelFAcist, that would be an equally acceptable result.

Once again, the tl;dr is that incels are 1) terrible and 2) wrong about everything.

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Katamount
Katamount
5 years ago

I don’t think we should overlook the fact that this guy’s username includes an acronym that is often deployed as a shorthand for “alienated despair.” Being NEET is often a sad fact of life (my brother is currently in that status after being let go), but I doubt most of us internalize that into our identities.

I mean, Dave could have just ended the post with his Tom of Finland drawing up there. I get the impression that these clowns have internalized a lot of the stereotypical media depictions of the “f– hag” (pardon the expression) and correlated that with the LGBT representation they see in geek culture, of which there is a large variance in body types, but in my experience rare to see the Tom of Finland bodybuilder type. So they just assume that the slender gay men that they see represented in their communities is representative of ALL gay men, half-remember Sean Hayes from Will and Grace, and just conflate them.

And these are the same batch of numbskulls running around during GamerGate screaming that “media has no effect on us!”

Kate
Kate
5 years ago

@Wetherby

They won’t do that because they’ve convinced themselves that any woman who isn’t a virgin is irreversibly tainted.

Additionally, they (or at least the ones I’ve had the misfortune of speaking with) think that paying for sex makes them doubly pathetic. Apparently, it confirms that they really are so undesirable that the only way for them to have sex is to pay for it.

I imagine there’s also an intimidation factor. The guys I’ve talked to are all virgins and very insecure about it. I have no doubt they’re terrified that a sexually experienced woman will judge them.

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

Why? Why would a straight guy who’s not getting laid start to watch gay porn? How does that follow at all?

Well, one friend of mine claims he first realised he was gay when watching straight porn and noticing he was focusing much more on the blokes in it.

I did ask if he’d had any previous intimations, and yes: he’d had what he described as “romantic crushes” on school friends… but somehow he hadn’t thought that counted.

Not statistically significant, of course, but I doubt he’s the only one.

Hexum7
Hexum7
5 years ago

The fact that some gay pop stars and screen idols who could presumably shag people of both sexes remain gay, nevertheless, alone ought to have dissuaded this guy from posting his crackpot theory.

He does seem to be living on Buzarro world in his assessment that gay conversion camps, which appriach homosexuality as a moral delema, ( and, sometimes, demonic influences) even approach pyschological treatment.

The utter stupidity of this theorizing is to demonstrate that they are worthy of love or to signal higher level understanding of reality, than the foids and the chads ( and whoever else they’ve decided is the bane of their existence).
Inevitably it all demonstrates why they are repulsive garbage humans. Perhaps the only goal is to reinforce Neet’s status as a social pariah

I suppose there’s a sentence or two in there that makes sense, but finding one is looking for Waldo.

Ps. What is Neet an acronym for, anyway?

Katamount
Katamount
5 years ago

@Hexum7

NEET stands for “Not In Employment, Education or Training.” It’s a demographic term that started in the UK, typically meant for the part of the labour sector that is both young and struggling to find their place in late stage capitalism, but is often deployed as a pejorative that is shorthand for “loser with no future.”

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
5 years ago

I don’t think that’s quite true, otherwise they’d just engage the services of a sex worker.

If a woman gets anything out of a sexual encounter with them — be it enjoyment or pay — then they haven’t won.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 years ago

@CarrieV:

I stay up at night worrying what will become of society if these clueless manospherians keep promulgating their warped theories to the point that enough gullible twits believe it all. THEN what?

Then there’d be a massive drop-off in the level and civility of political discourse, weekly mass shootings, the mainstream promulgation of wishful thinking as “news” and unpleasant news as “fake news”, and sooner or later enough voters would be affected to elect to the Oval Office a flaming troglodyte of a garbage fire like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, or Donald Tru …

Oh, wait.

@Cat Mara:

Hence their fascination with the notion of sexbots IMO– the ultimate guarantee of control.

Apparently none of them have ever encountered a sodding BSOD.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
5 years ago

I found this interesting video on YouTube, but what is more interesting is the comments section :/

https://youtu.be/h8wgho9dlNQ

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 years ago

@Katamount:
I’ve seen ‘NEET’ show up in anime as a replacement for the more traditional Japanese term ‘Hikikomori’ as a term for ‘social recluse’.

@Hexum7:
Aww, is that Streaky the Super cat on your avatar?

personalpest
personalpest
5 years ago

@paul Michael Tidwell and @Cat Mara:

I’ve long felt the reason this type can’t get laid is because they’re legitimately terrible human beings.

And that’s not the only reason. Consider this: Incels want sex, but they hate women. And gay men. And trans/non-binary people. And most other straight men (if not all of them). And themselves, as they remind us so frequently. And more often than not, they seem to barely tolerate each other at best. That’s why I think Cat Mara is right about their sexbot obsession: Given their hatred of pretty much all humanity, who else is there for them to have sex with?

TheKND
TheKND
5 years ago

@Virgin Mary
God, I made the mistake of scrolling down.
Anyways, the documentary did make me think. I lived most of my life male and I profited from male privilege. These days I consider myself agender, but since presenting neutral is basically the same as male, I still cruise on it. And it kinda makes me feel icky. I really feel bad for trans people who have to deal with all the things that I was lucky enough to avoid.

S. P.
S. P.
5 years ago

I have a lot of thoughts about this. In no particular order:

1. Speaking as a formerly self-hating asexual, if people could “choose” their own sexual orientations, the world would be quite a different place. A straight guy can’t “make” himself feel attraction to men any more than I could “make” myself feel sexual attraction to anyone.

2. Mr. NEET is apparently unaware of the sad and unfortunately under-addressed phenomenon of misogynistic gay men. Or he buys the claim that a gay man “can’t” be a misogynist.

3. How many queer men out there discovered their orientation through romantic attraction? Considering sexual attraction proper starts around puberty (although sexual curiosity can come earlier), and many people say they’ve known their orientation since childhood, there must be a lot of gay/bi/pan guys running around out there who realized their orientation because they got childhood crushes on other guys, right? Did Mr. NEET not have childhood crushes? (If he’s aro, then more power to him, but has he never met anyone who has?)

3a. Is the concept of feeling positive emotions towards sex partners just completely foreign to Mr. NEET? Not necessarily romantic attraction–aros can still LIKE people for crying out loud–but any kind of friendliness? Companionship? Tenderness? Appreciation? Why are people just interchangeable holes to him?

4. Getting aroused by pornography that doesn’t correlate with your orientation is a common phenomenon. There are asexual porn consumers out there! Maybe this hypothetical straight guy just likes man-on-man porn because he knows what sexual pleasure as a man feels like and he’s extrapolating. Maybe he just likes it because, contrary to popular belief, what gets one’s motor running can almost never be categorized into prescriptive boxes.

Nowherepants
Nowherepants
5 years ago

The utter stupidity of this theorizing is to demonstrate that they are worthy of love or to signal higher level understanding of reality, than the foids and the chads ( and whoever else they’ve decided is the bane of their existence).
Inevitably it all demonstrates why they are repulsive garbage humans. Perhaps the only goal is to reinforce Neet’s status as a social pariah

I think it’s both. Hence your use of “or” rather than “either or”(XOR). Amirite?

2. Mr. NEET is apparently unaware of the sad and unfortunately under-addressed phenomenon of misogynistic gay men. Or he buys the claim that a gay man “can’t” be a misogynist.

Hmmm….what I suspect is that some gay men want to create a distinctive, masculine identity and not be lumped together with (straight)women simply because they are attracted exclusively to men. Which is perfectly legit.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
5 years ago

@ Nowherepants:

It is entirely possible to create a distinctive masculine identity without being a misogynist.

This is true for both straight men and gay men.

Being a misogynist to be perceived as more manly is totes NOT legit, thank you very much.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

@Nowherepants

Masculinity does not equal misogyny. My fiance is very masculine. Its one of the things that attracted me to him but he is not a misogynist. Gay men do not get a free pass at that. I don’t care if it them trying to “create an identity away from straight women” they need to cut that fucking shit out. And you need to not excuse it.

Dalillama
Dalillama
5 years ago

@Nowherepants

Hmmm….what I suspect is that some gay men want to create a distinctive, masculine identity and not be lumped together with (straight)women simply because they are attracted exclusively to men. Which is perfectly legit.

And you’re both wrong and wildly ignorant in that suspicion, and would do well to keep your trap shut on the topic.

S. P.
S. P.
5 years ago

@ Nowherepants

Gay men can cultivate their own masculinity without pissing on women, just as they can cultivate their own relationship to gender without pissing on trans people and their own sexual paradigm without pissing on asexuals. The problem is that some refuse to, either because they’re actively hateful or because they’re not willing to put in the work to unlearn their own prejudices and are using “I’m gay” as a shield to avoid doing so (as if being marginalized in one way makes you incapable of being bigoted).

It’s the same thing with transphobia among some lesbians, or colorism among my fellow Jews, or anti-personality-disorder prejudice among the disabled community. Some people just want to take an out. Some people just want to believe that their suffering is the truest and most severe, and that their suffering can “purify” them and make them a good person just by enduring it.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 years ago

Part of that is undoubtedly also the whole Christian/Calvinist brainwashing about suffering redeeming one. Some might even go so far as to use it to consciously justify being an asshole: “already did the time, might as well do the crime”.

And then the backlash to these ones invariably causes splash damage to non-asshole marginalized people in turn …

S. P.
S. P.
5 years ago

Some might even go so far as to use it to consciously justify being an asshole: “already did the time, might as well do the crime”.

@Surplus to Requirements:

Oh, that one drives me up the goddamn WALL, especially as an ace person. People justifying their mistreatment of aces and aros (and trans people, and nonbinary people, and intersex people who don’t consider themselves diseased, and bi/pan/ply people, and and and) because if we “can’t handle” a little bullying then we’re not truly oppressed, and besides they earned the right to bully us by being (cis, usually white, usually middle-class teenager) gay people, aka the only oppressed people in the universe.

Not that I’m bitter.

(I’m bitter.)

Airis Damon
Airis Damon
5 years ago

@S.P.

I am with you. It drives me up the wall, too. Except from the angle that certain middle-class gay folk will just through us under the bus to score social capital with other moderates and conservatives, I do not understand their behavior towards other oppressed groups.

I am trans and ace. So I am like a rainbow unicorn to bigots and “gender critical” types in their understanding of gender, sex and sexuality.

But do not fret too much. I read somewhere that they set up the Pussy Church of Modern Witchcraft to shield their pet theories from the changing times.

Airis Damon
Airis Damon
5 years ago

Oops. I meant to say “throw us under the bus.” Instead, I said *through, lol. My bad.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

Oh, that one drives me up the goddamn WALL, especially as an ace person. People justifying their mistreatment of aces and aros (and trans people, and nonbinary people, and intersex people who don’t consider themselves diseased, and bi/pan/ply people, and and and) because if we “can’t handle” a little bullying then we’re not truly oppressed, and besides they earned the right to bully us by being (cis, usually white, usually middle-class teenager) gay people, aka the only oppressed people in the universe.

I just don’t understand the mistreatment at all. If you went through the bullying and the shame for being different why would you harp on others who are being mistreated for the same reason as you just because they are different then how you are. you would think people would have some empathy for each other but oh no.

S. P.
S. P.
5 years ago

I just don’t understand the mistreatment at all. If you went through the bullying and the shame for being different why would you harp on others who are being mistreated for the same reason as you just because they are different then how you are. you would think people would have some empathy for each other but oh no.

@Lainy:

It’s very simple. To so-called rainbow regressives, every ace/aro/bi/pan/trans/nonbinary/intersex person they can direct hatred towards means that much less hatred directed at themselves. It’s a survival strategy, but it’s a survival strategy for assholes.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
5 years ago

So how old is this PhD in sociology/psychology/whatever? I’d say 14, tops.

He’s probably not even an expert on gay porn.

ColeYote
ColeYote
5 years ago

Christ, there’s more jumps in his logic than a basketball game.