Categories
bad anatomy bad science crackpottery entitled babies homophobia magic semen men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny penises post contains sarcasm reddit transphobia vaginas

Lesbians! You need to get the D at least sometimes if you want clear skin, explains dude who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive

That could be really bad for your health, according to science I definitely didn’t just pull out of my ass

By David Futrelle

Here’s a little public pubic service announcement for all lesbians, as offered by a very public pubic-spirited fellow who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive or anything but who nonetheless might be available to assist any lesbians who wish to act upon the important information he is conveying.

This little nugget of wisdom — I’m not sure where it’s originally from — was posted the other day to the ActualLesbians subreddit, where it was not greeted with as much gratitude as one might have expected. Indeed, there seemed to be widespread skepticism about these important scientific findings.

Some even had the temerity of suggest that lesbians could just as easily get the D from trans lesbians, bypassing that whole “not attracted to men” hurdle but ignoring the fact that the helpful gentleman providing the advice had specified that D-deprived lesbians should be having sex with men. I can only hope that Mr. Science will find an more receptive audience elsewhere. The health of women everywhere is at stake!

H/T — r/ActualLesbians via r/BadWomensAnatomy

We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

64 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Who?
Who?
5 years ago

Interesting enough I remember than maried men live longer than unmaried men. So from this combiened with the study on nuns means beeing together with women is good for your health.
(One theory for maried men living longer is that is not that mariage makes them live longer but that men who have a lower lifeexpectation doen’t normally mary)
On the other hand anon shouldn’t try to win arguments that are so easy to disprove.

Interesting enough PiV was probably a reason to keep lifeexspectation of women down for a long time (childbirth killed a lot of women)

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

@moregeekthan

@ Kat

Not sure if women should take health advice from someone who apparently does not know what a period is.

(Sorry for that. I will show myself out.)

I had to laugh.

Katamount
Katamount
5 years ago

*sigh* Man, pseudoscientists tried harder back in the day.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
5 years ago

@ Who? :

(One theory for maried men living longer is that is not that mariage makes them live longer but that men who have a lower lifeexpectation doen’t normally mary)

Wouldn’t that be equally true for women, though? Or does lower life expectancy in this case refer to high-risk behavior rather than congenital health issues?

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
5 years ago

Wouldn’t that be equally true for women, though? Or does lower life expectancy in this case refer to high-risk behavior rather than congenital health issues?

They live longer ’cause they have someone to do all of the stressful menial chores and have more time to relax because of that.

(Lol, I mean, no one knows the answer but it’s as reasonable as the other reasons suggested I figure)

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
5 years ago

I tended to suppose “having a wife means there’s someone to tell them to quit dragging their feet and go get that thing looked at by a doctor before it’s too late” was a major factor, but I really don’t know.

rv97
5 years ago

I’m still getting comments in this thread, and I’ll just say this: the only men who deserve anything now are trans men.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@TB Tabby My family had a good giggle when that ad came out. 😀

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@Cat Mara Ah, yes, the Contendings of Horus and Set, aka Bad Slashfiction That Bored Drunk Priests Wrote During One Tekhy Festival. 😉 [maybe….]

Zemyla
Zemyla
5 years ago

@Sophist

…they literally think penises are magic, don’t they?

That’s the worst My Little Pony spinoff I can imagine.

LaterSpaceCowboy (Automatic Luxury Gay Space Communism *now*)
LaterSpaceCowboy (Automatic Luxury Gay Space Communism *now*)
5 years ago

Hmmm. Yea, I’ve often noted how dry Ellen’s and Tig Notaro’s skin is. Big time acne sufferers there. *Eye roll”

ellesar
ellesar
5 years ago

lesbians do still get STIs of various descriptions, penile/vaginal penetration is not required for the transfer of many STIs, lesbians are routinely denied screenings because of this fallacy

Lesbians are at LOWER risk, this is just a reality. The NHS does not refuse anyone STI testing, and you do not have to tell someone your sexual orientation if you are unfortunate enough to have to use healthcare providers who do discriminate.

Ottery
5 years ago

Oh man, I need to tell my globe trotting lesbian sister in laws about this! Specially the eye doctor since she wakes up to do aikido at 6am every morning! (I could barely wake up at that time for a surgery I was excited about!)

*sarcasm for telling my poor in laws who have heard this a million times before, and when I was dating a woman I’ve had guys tell me the same thing. No sarcasm for I wonder how she does aikido every morning and then goes to work.

Anonymous
Anonymous
5 years ago

Technically, there IS a benefit to having sex (albeit only with a single partner) for women beyond the obvious, but only in regards to a specific disorder.

Apparently there’s evidence that pre-eclampsia (an uncommon but dangerous complication of pregnancy distinguished by hypertension and protein in urine, and if left unchecked can cause seizures and cardiac arrest among other things) might be due in part to an overactive maternal immune reaction to paternal genes expressed in the fetus and placenta. For reasons I can neither explain or understand, semen contains proteins that modulate immune factors, and indeed there are studies that actually show that repeated exposure to semen from the prospective father greatly reduces the risk of pre-eclampsia. (Hilariously, it’s noted to be most effective when administered orally, which is exactly what you’d expect it to be.)

Unfortunately for Anon, I’m pretty sure a turkey baster would do the job just as well for any lesbian interested in getting pregnant.