By David Futrelle
The good gentlemen who make up the Men Going Their Own Way movement talk about women rather a lot — mostly because they hate them so much.
Most of this discussion is rather theoretical — endless speculations on the evils of “female nature” and the devious plots by feminists and male simps to reduce men to chattel. That sort of thing.
But sometimes one of these female creatures impinges on the life of a MGTOW in an up-close-and-personal way.
Today, fresh from the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I bring you the terrifying tale of one innocent MGTOW who has just learned that his until-now all-male sanctum at work is about to be invaded by … a female.
Well, he doesn’t put it quite so politely.
My work mostly revolves around maintaining records, preserving old books and documents. Our department is always swamped , with us 3 guys doing all the work but hr decided that we need a c*nt to bright up our days.
And now, he says,
I am afraid for my future.
My usual plan to deal with females is this..
1. Be Curt and to the point. No extra talking other than what is relevant to the work at hand.
2. Always in the view of a camera and other employees.
3. Maintain at least a furniture in between or wall or a distance of at least 3 feet. I get away with this by saying I have allergies to perfume and they don’t want to be the splash zone. Huehuehue
And it seems like a solid plan: act like a complete weirdo whenever a woman enters the room, rushing to find the nearest piece of furniture to hide behind like she’s some sort of active shooter, but armed with false accusations instead of an assault rifle.
But alas, it turns out he has to actually train her a little, which means he’ll have to enter inside the 3-foot female proximity danger zone — and he’s afraid the additional cameras he had his employers put up on a flimsy pretext won’t be enough to protect him.
I am afraid as this work requires to be in close enough proximity to the other person to show nitty gritties like applying wet tissue paper to the page and making it translucent with a chemical.
Please help. She starts working with us next week.
Had Mr. AndroidMetroid asked these questions anywhere else but an MGTOW safe space, it’s likely that his COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE CONCERNS would have been dismissed as “the paranoid delusions of a terrified, woman-hating baby man” or “the cringiest shit I’ve ever seen” or “what the fuck are you even talking about, dude, you’re going to be working with a woman, not a giant angry bear.”
But happily the readers of the MGTOW subreddit understand the grave danger that Mr. AndroidMetroid is in, and they’ve offered him many helpful suggestions that were definitely not hysterical and/or possibly illegal overreactions that could possibly get him fired.
“Bring your own camera,” one commenter suggested.
Bring a voice recorder. Who cares if recording someone’s voice without their permission is illegal. It’s better to be guilty of that than being guilty of rape.
Another suggested that he not allow her near him unless there’s someone else present who can vouch for him.
Never have any dealings with her without a witness present.
Document your encounters with her somewhere accessible only to you. (Time, place, duration, reason)
And watch out for her devious lady scheming!
Expect her to begin ‘grooming’ that is to say, she will attempt to cultivate one or both other males in the department as allies against you if she doesn’t perceive you as an available avenue to greater status or resources.
Still another helpful MGTOW Redditor, a fellow by the name of PressNeinForGerman, advised our poor soon-to-be mentor to make an effort to not appear human.
I suggest you pretty much act like a robot.
And not just any robot, a snooty robot, “cold and unwelcoming.”
The only danger here is that if you act too standoffish, she might end up falling in love with you, because women just love aloof jerks — as any Red Pill men man will tell you, at great length. So you need to go a little bit beyond aloof to “actively disgusted.”
Strait up ignore her. Ignore her in the way you would the homeless man scratching his asshole on the public bus; with slight disgust and haste to “get the ride over with and get out of there”.
I’m sure HR would be delighted to hear that Mr. AndroidMetroid has been treating the woman he’s been assigned to train like she’s a piece of shit on his shoe. Absolutely top-notch advice here.
PressNein continued, advising the future mentor-of-a-female that
anytime she has a question that’s not relevant to the job (ex. How old are you, are you married, hobbies, etc) shrug your shoulders and don’t say a word. Be completely disinterested, even slightly standoffish. If she persists, With a disgusted look on your face look her right in the eye and say: “That’s not appropriate, and I really don’t appreciate you asking”.
Say it with the same conviction that you would tell a child that you’re disappointed in for something. Really bear down with your tone that it is not okay what she is asking you.
Yes, it’s always good to respond to innocent questions about yourself as if you’re a serial killer terrified that the questioner is going to notice the pile of dead bodies you’ve got hidden behind your desk, with the feet of several victims sticking out on one side.
If she tries to be physical with you in any way like brushing you on the shoulder in conversation … [i]mmediately look at her and state that that is not okay. “DO NOT TOUCH ME”.
Take some inspiration from this guy:
Or perhaps this gal:
Well, maybe be slightly more subtle than that.
Say it loud enough so everyone in the room can hear it. It will embarrass the shit out of her and she will learn not to do that again because women hate to be rejected. Especially in public eye. Be as abrasive as possible without giving her a reason to send you to HR.
Boy, it would sure be terrible if some innocent fellow like our boy AndroidMetroid got sent to HR just because he went out of his way to create a hostile work environment for a women he was supposed to be training.
A commenter called n0x29a offered a different approach. Instead of acting like some weird, rude, vaguely hysterical robot, he suggested that our future mentor go all beta on her.
you have to make her lose interest in you by acting like a total cuck or a simp. Try to make her bored and lost interest very quickly in you.
Read about what attracts women and do the opposite.
Women are attracted to masculine men so act very passive and feminine (if you are ballsy)
I guess that could work, even though it doesn’t involve screaming at the trainee or treating her like she’s literally covered in shit.
Someone called Alexius_von_Meinong had a somewhat more pessimistic take, warning AndroidMetroid that he should be ready to run for the door as if there were a missile headed directly for his office.
Be ready to bolt if necessary. This is the employment equivalent of always having a mobility bag ready. While there are rational steps you can take, there are also situations in which your degrees of freedom will be severely limited. If that happens, assess the situation with a cold eye, and act to save yourself first, before anything else.
Alongside all this totally solid advice that couldn’t possibly backfire, there was one strange comment that struck a discordant note. A fellow with the hippyish moniker HaightnAshbury recommended that AndroidMetroid make an effort
to treat this human like a human, to treat her with respect, to maybe gain a friend, if not just a competent colleague.
Wait, what?
If you are a real person … it’s important that you either give this other real person a chance, or, that you go through the proper channels to have a superior or a colleague get her away from you.
Naturally, the regulars on the MGTOW subreddit downvoted this truly weird suggestion — treat a woman like a human being!? — down below zero to a -3.
Being a Man Going His Own Way means never acknowledging that women are from the same species as you.
H/T — a post in the Blue Pill subreddit
We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
@Kevin
I’m not sure it’s a cultural thing, I’m pretty sure it’s just the fact that excessive garlic makes for very strong body odor, especially if one is sweating. Onions are the same.
Also David your gif game is on point today
Also on the topic of terrifying, violent co-workers, one guy literally threatened to beat the shit out of me after work, to which the boss’ response was “grow some skin”. The next morning at the bus stop was a fun time.
@ Knitting Cat Lady
It’s “3 hard working men or 1 woman”, actually, insinuating that 3 hard working men are the equivalent of a normal woman.
German humour, what little is to be found, will inevitably be ruined by German pedantry.
Anyway, that use of the expression “grooming” irks me so so much. Using language describing abuse to make excuses for abusive behaviour towards women. Eugh.
I mean, what’s the alternative? Be as sexually creepy as possible without giving her a reason to send you to HR?
Technically, that’s an option too, but they say the threshold for being sent to HR for that is really low, so you can be more of yourself by just being abrasive.
You poor man. Of course you’re afraid.
And it’s sweet of your online friends to offer advice.
But you need to face facts: You don’t stand a chance against this woman. Give up now.
Yes, you could quit your job. You could even move far away. But no matter where you go, there will be women.
My realistic advice? Resign yourself to a life of torment.
Hope this helps. ?
A moderator removed the comment suggesting he just treat her like a human being. And two other that, I’m guessing, suggested something of the same ilk.
He’s gonna be so disappointed actually googling what women are into.
Nah, don’t worry, he’ll only listen to other mgtows
It’s striking how much the second response sounds like they’re telling him to act like Vice President Pence.
I shared a fairly small office with one of these strange female creatures for something like three years. Not only did absolutely nothing untoward happen at any point whatsoever, but we remain good friends to this day.
When she left, she was replaced by another femoid, who I think lasted even longer than her predecessor. If anything, we got on even better thanks to having more common interests, and we also remain good friends to this day.
Clearly, I must have been doing something catastrophically wrong – but what?
@ Kat:
I’d say the more realistic assessment would be “no matter where you go, YOU’LL BE THERE”
I don’t exactly have the personality they make “cults of personality” about, but I’ve really never had any issues with women I’ve worked with. I spent 20+ years in factories in small cities in red States… a genuine “male-dominated, generally asshole-male-dominated environment”
There were a few, <5%, probably, women on the shop floor, and they tended to be very competent, emotionally/mentally very able to take care of themselves, and easy to work with. At one shop, we did have a woman machinist "take up" with the 2nd shift supervisor, but then they ran off together (literally, they left one evening and never came back), so that problem worked itself out.
Hoo boy.
Honestly, though? A coworker who doesn’t ask personal questions or make conversation sounds like a godsend to this particular woman. When I worked office jobs, I would have given anything to just be left alone to do my work while I entertained myself with my own thoughts.
Now, I actually work as a massage therapist, and I frequently have to tell clients that it’s inappropriate for me to share personal information with them and to please stop asking personal questions. I don’t like to be touched without express permission—one time a coworker reached out to tuck my shirt tag in, and I nearly jumped out of my skin—so the “Don’t touch me!” reaction would invite mostly empathy…
What’s this guy so afraid of?
She’s going to walk into the office and start selling insurance?
@Knitting Cat Lady
I always wonder about those obnoxious Joe The Plumber types who always bang on about how “hard-working” they are, as if they never half-assed anything in their lives. Ever wonder if they’re just projecting their own insecurities at how lazy they really are?
@Gender Superposition:
Have you considered an electrified cattle prod? They work pretty well. Try to keep it away from electronic office equipment, though: IT get very annoyed if you keep frying your PC.
Katamount,
I think “hard working” is a dogwhistle meaning white male. Hard working people deserve breaks and benefits. Lazy moochers do not. It’s just a way to rationalize patriarchy and white supremacy and maintain plausible deniability.
@Kiwiwriter
Or, even worse, Amway!
Amway would be a menace to Western civilization, on that I agree.
On the other hand, some of these incels could use both Amway and Avon products, if nothing else, to improve their hygiene levels.
Obvious, all really good advise.
But I’m curious about
What if she doesn’t perceive ANY of them to be available avenues to greater status or resources? How does she decide who to groom again who? Does she just start saying “Malfunction! Malfunction!” as sparks shoot out of her ears and then her head explodes?
I’m going to have to go ask and find out!
Right, because a person who has no clue what sexual harassment is, is always the best judge of what’s “appropriate”.
Apparently he’s decided it’s an evil eye to be warded off with elaborate rituals and bizarre grandstanding. It’s so evil, it requires social conventions to be grossly violated!
………..Okay, I know he’s probably doing some kind of de-acidification process. But whenever a MGTOW mentions wet tissues, I immediately reach for the brain bleach.
The guy is from a very socially conservative developing country where woman in the workplace are indeed a very new thing. That’s why he sounds crazy to most of us.
Obviously this doesn’t justify his backwards mind set
OT¹: Everyone’s favourite Serious Thinker™ Jordan Peterson opens his own merch store, as all Serious Thinkers™ are wont to do.
¹ I’d post this in the open thread only things are kind of sombre there right now.
@Cat Mara
Wow… he doesn’t even pretend anymore. Wasn’t this about self-improvement and freedom of speech? Cause it looks a whole lot like a grift from where I sit.
@TheKND: The linked article seems to suggest his income took a dive after he stormed off Patreon in FREEZE PEACH solidarity with Sargon of Akkad when they de-platformed his alt-lite-adjacent ass; but considering he must still be in receipt of a professor’s salary from the University of Toronto, not to mention royalties from a bestselling book and speaker’s fees, this is grift, pure and simple.
I’m also still just amused by the idea of her asking, “so, do you have any pets?” And him being all [srs face]: “That’s not appropriate, and I really don’t appreciate you asking.”
“Grooming”
I just want to put down here that being a likable person is apparently witchcraft to men.
@Kupo
Yeah, that would 100% come across as him being creepy with his pets after work.
“Are you an only child?”
“That’s not appropriate, and I really don’t appreciate you asking.”
It sort of implies that he sees all these innocent questions as inherently sexual, which reflects really badly on him.