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I have to be within 3 feet of a woman at work: A MGTOW tale of terror

A MGTOW learns he will be working with a woman

By David Futrelle

The good gentlemen who make up the Men Going Their Own Way movement talk about women rather a lot — mostly because they hate them so much.

Most of this discussion is rather theoretical — endless speculations on the evils of “female nature” and the devious plots by feminists and male simps to reduce men to chattel. That sort of thing.

But sometimes one of these female creatures impinges on the life of a MGTOW in an up-close-and-personal way.

Today, fresh from the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I bring you the terrifying tale of one innocent MGTOW who has just learned that his until-now all-male sanctum at work is about to be invaded by … a female.

Well, he doesn’t put it quite so politely.

My work mostly revolves around maintaining records, preserving old books and documents. Our department is always swamped , with us 3 guys doing all the work but hr decided that we need a c*nt to bright up our days.

And now, he says,

I am afraid for my future.

My usual plan to deal with females is this..

1. Be Curt and to the point. No extra talking other than what is relevant to the work at hand.

2. Always in the view of a camera and other employees.

3. Maintain at least a furniture in between or wall or a distance of at least 3 feet. I get away with this by saying I have allergies to perfume and they don’t want to be the splash zone. Huehuehue

And it seems like a solid plan: act like a complete weirdo whenever a woman enters the room, rushing to find the nearest piece of furniture to hide behind like she’s some sort of active shooter, but armed with false accusations instead of an assault rifle.

But alas, it turns out he has to actually train her a little, which means he’ll have to enter inside the 3-foot female proximity danger zone — and he’s afraid the additional cameras he had his employers put up on a flimsy pretext won’t be enough to protect him.

I am afraid as this work requires to be in close enough proximity to the other person to show nitty gritties like applying wet tissue paper to the page and making it translucent with a chemical.

Please help. She starts working with us next week.

Had Mr. AndroidMetroid asked these questions anywhere else but an MGTOW safe space, it’s likely that his COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE CONCERNS would have been dismissed as “the paranoid delusions of a terrified, woman-hating baby man” or “the cringiest shit I’ve ever seen” or “what the fuck are you even talking about, dude, you’re going to be working with a woman, not a giant angry bear.”

But happily the readers of the MGTOW subreddit understand the grave danger that Mr. AndroidMetroid is in, and they’ve offered him many helpful suggestions that were definitely not hysterical and/or possibly illegal overreactions that could possibly get him fired.

“Bring your own camera,” one commenter suggested.

Bring a voice recorder. Who cares if recording someone’s voice without their permission is illegal. It’s better to be guilty of that than being guilty of rape.

Another suggested that he not allow her near him unless there’s someone else present who can vouch for him.

Never have any dealings with her without a witness present.

Document your encounters with her somewhere accessible only to you. (Time, place, duration, reason)

And watch out for her devious lady scheming!

Expect her to begin ‘grooming’ that is to say, she will attempt to cultivate one or both other males in the department as allies against you if she doesn’t perceive you as an available avenue to greater status or resources.

Still another helpful MGTOW Redditor, a fellow by the name of PressNeinForGerman, advised our poor soon-to-be mentor to make an effort to not appear human.

I suggest you pretty much act like a robot.

And not just any robot, a snooty robot, “cold and unwelcoming.”

The only danger here is that if you act too standoffish, she might end up falling in love with you, because women just love aloof jerks — as any Red Pill men man will tell you, at great length. So you need to go a little bit beyond aloof to “actively disgusted.”

Strait up ignore her. Ignore her in the way you would the homeless man scratching his asshole on the public bus; with slight disgust and haste to “get the ride over with and get out of there”.

I’m sure HR would be delighted to hear that Mr. AndroidMetroid has been treating the woman he’s been assigned to train like she’s a piece of shit on his shoe. Absolutely top-notch advice here.

PressNein continued, advising the future mentor-of-a-female that

anytime she has a question that’s not relevant to the job (ex. How old are you, are you married, hobbies, etc) shrug your shoulders and don’t say a word. Be completely disinterested, even slightly standoffish. If she persists, With a disgusted look on your face look her right in the eye and say: “That’s not appropriate, and I really don’t appreciate you asking”.

Say it with the same conviction that you would tell a child that you’re disappointed in for something. Really bear down with your tone that it is not okay what she is asking you.

Yes, it’s always good to respond to innocent questions about yourself as if you’re a serial killer terrified that the questioner is going to notice the pile of dead bodies you’ve got hidden behind your desk, with the feet of several victims sticking out on one side.

If she tries to be physical with you in any way like brushing you on the shoulder in conversation … [i]mmediately look at her and state that that is not okay. “DO NOT TOUCH ME”.

Take some inspiration from this guy:

Or perhaps this gal:

Well, maybe be slightly more subtle than that.

Say it loud enough so everyone in the room can hear it. It will embarrass the shit out of her and she will learn not to do that again because women hate to be rejected. Especially in public eye. Be as abrasive as possible without giving her a reason to send you to HR.

Boy, it would sure be terrible if some innocent fellow like our boy AndroidMetroid got sent to HR just because he went out of his way to create a hostile work environment for a women he was supposed to be training.

A commenter called n0x29a offered a different approach. Instead of acting like some weird, rude, vaguely hysterical robot, he suggested that our future mentor go all beta on her.

you have to make her lose interest in you by acting like a total cuck or a simp. Try to make her bored and lost interest very quickly in you.

Read about what attracts women and do the opposite.

Women are attracted to masculine men so act very passive and feminine (if you are ballsy)

I guess that could work, even though it doesn’t involve screaming at the trainee or treating her like she’s literally covered in shit.

Someone called Alexius_von_Meinong had a somewhat more pessimistic take, warning AndroidMetroid that he should be ready to run for the door as if there were a missile headed directly for his office.

Be ready to bolt if necessary. This is the employment equivalent of always having a mobility bag ready. While there are rational steps you can take, there are also situations in which your degrees of freedom will be severely limited. If that happens, assess the situation with a cold eye, and act to save yourself first, before anything else.

Alongside all this totally solid advice that couldn’t possibly backfire, there was one strange comment that struck a discordant note. A fellow with the hippyish moniker HaightnAshbury recommended that AndroidMetroid make an effort

to treat this human like a human, to treat her with respect, to maybe gain a friend, if not just a competent colleague.

Wait, what?

If you are a real person … it’s important that you either give this other real person a chance, or, that you go through the proper channels to have a superior or a colleague get her away from you.

Naturally, the regulars on the MGTOW subreddit downvoted this truly weird suggestion — treat a woman like a human being!? — down below zero to a -3.

Being a Man Going His Own Way means never acknowledging that women are from the same species as you.

H/T — a post in the Blue Pill subreddit

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Talonknife
Talonknife
5 years ago

Gotta love when they whip themselves up into a frenzy over absolutely nothing due to their own sense of baseless paranoia.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I love how it never occurs to any MGTOW that when women are at work, they want to actually do their job and then go home. There’s always got to be some big agenda. Every single thing women do ever are about men in some way. Our lives revolve around them. We’re either trying to impress them or screw them over. We’re never just living our lives.

Dude’s like Regina George thinking that everyone is so obsessed with him.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

Watch her be the sweetest person ever and he gets the hots for her then she politely turns this chuckle fuck down and he’s complaining about that next week.

Kevin
Kevin
5 years ago

Sorry, have you ever had a female colleague take a blade to your person without provocation or consent ? I have. I realize the miggy is ludicrous, but some of us have real reasons for a fear of women.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

@Kevin

Was this multiple women or just one? Also hope your okay.

Castrating Harpy
Castrating Harpy
5 years ago

It’s stuff like this that makes me glad to work in a >75% female environment. I rarely have to deal with men, and the odds of one of these dumbasses showing up in my workplace seem slim-to-none.

The Sarge
The Sarge
5 years ago

So he calls himself AndroidMetroid?

That’s interesting because Metroid is a video game where the protagonist is… a woman.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
5 years ago

@Kevin

I’ve had one punch me in the back of the head, because I swatted her hand away after she was repeatedly pressing “Ctrl+F4” on my keyboard, while I worked.

But that is not how the average woman acts, just one asshole of a woman. Also, not to be dismissive, but in my experience men are far more violent and far more often as well.

Hope you’re okay as well.

Kevin
Kevin
5 years ago

@ Lainy

Just the one thank goodness. It was a difficult workplace. I’m not good at interpersonal signals and it had to be explained to me by others that she’d been making personal advances and took amiss my lack of the kind of response she was after. By then she’d got her claws into the boss, so it would have been hard to make a complaint stick. For what it’s worth, the women there didn’t like her any more than I did. Thank you for listening, and I’m sorry you had trouble too.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Kevin, I’m hoping ‘take a blade’ is a metaphor for something.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

@Kevin

Yeah your welcome. I was just asking because a fear of that particular woman and any women that set of flags like she did is logical but Not the entire gender of women. I’m sorry you didn’t feel safe enough to file a complaint though.

Kevin
Kevin
5 years ago

@ Robert

Sorry, it’s not a metaphor, it was a real assault. It was years ago though. I have a different demon to face now. Let’s mock the miggy instead.

Gender Superposition
Gender Superposition
5 years ago

How can I make sure men stay 3 or more feet away from me at all times? Sounds promising.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

Tbh I kind of wish one of my coworkers was like this guy. I think he’s very close to becoming a stalker. I’ve resorted to really trying to off put him to get him to leave me alone. Dude actually thinks I’m growing out my hair right now to be more pretty for him.

Kevin
Kevin
5 years ago

@ Gender Superposition

This may be culture – dependent, but chewing garlic comes to mind. And I’m told garlic is good for the health.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

Oh gods, women??!?!?!?!!??

runs screaming into the night

Full Metal Ox
Full Metal Ox
5 years ago

Our poor besieged MGTOW might consider a liberal application of AXE–which numerous people have assured me (I’m hyposmic) has the opposite of the advertised effect.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Our department is always swamped , with us 3 guys doing all the work but hr decided that we need a c*nt to bright up our days.

I love how they’re “always swamped” but somehow it’s unreasonable to add another employee. Ten bucks says the three of them spend their days goofing off, and he’s afraid she’ll upset their cushy bro dynamic.

Read about what attracts women and do the opposite

I’d say having a massive Reddit freakout, being an unprofessional robotic twit, using desks as barricades, and jeopardizing your stable paying job probably qualifies as the opposite of attractive. No need to gild the lily.

Though women also hate it when you lower your pants and jam a fork into your forehead. Just a helpful tip!

JessicaRed
JessicaRed
5 years ago

Yeah, meticulously document every interaction with her you ever have and record her illegally, so that when they’re looking for evidence to support her inevitable rape accusation, all they’ll find is that you have meticulously documented her every move and recorded her without her consent. That’ll prove you’re not a criminal.

Jesus H. Macy, these guys.

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

Yeah, meticulously document every interaction with her you ever have and record her illegally, so that when they’re looking for evidence to support her inevitable rape accusation, all they’ll find is that you have meticulously documented her every move and recorded her without her consent. That’ll prove you’re not a criminal.

Lol, hey I do things to women without their consent so obviously officer, I would never do anything to a woman without her consent. Let me hand over evidence to you that I do things to women without their consent.

epronovost
epronovost
5 years ago

I’m curious about that last comment in the OP, you know the one that’s actually sensible. Is it some kind of trolling if you say that in an MGTOW forum?

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

n0x29a

comment image

(0x29a is hexadecimal for 666)

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
5 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

There’s this German joke job ad:

‘Wanted: 3 hard working men or 1 hard working woman’

Button
Button
5 years ago

…Do none of these men have jobs? Like, ok, the OP is employed in a single-sex workplace, but you’d think that in most industries, most men will have had women as coworkers before.

If they have jobs without women as coworkers, which came first, the misogyny or the line of work? Is this just a matter of anyone who is actually around women will come to understand them as human beings/not become a MGTOW, or do MGTOWs and proto-MGTOWs seek out lines of work where they won’t have to interact with women?

Flux
Flux
5 years ago

Not sure if the guy and the commenters to him are serious. I kind of hope they’re all playing up their MGOTW role and know that reality isn’t anything like that? Can they really all be so “low functioning Aspy” stereotype that they really can’t interact with other humans of the other gender?

I manage a small winery, with about a dozen part time associates, 75% of whom are female. Mostly in their 20s. And we have a great time at work, joke around a lot, sometimes get ribald (mostly them with each other) and we sip wine after work and go home in a great mood. Like, you know, normal humans who can be friendly to make their work experience more enjoyable.

Never sure whether more to pity or despise MRAs….

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