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I have to be within 3 feet of a woman at work: A MGTOW tale of terror

A MGTOW learns he will be working with a woman

By David Futrelle

The good gentlemen who make up the Men Going Their Own Way movement talk about women rather a lot — mostly because they hate them so much.

Most of this discussion is rather theoretical — endless speculations on the evils of “female nature” and the devious plots by feminists and male simps to reduce men to chattel. That sort of thing.

But sometimes one of these female creatures impinges on the life of a MGTOW in an up-close-and-personal way.

Today, fresh from the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I bring you the terrifying tale of one innocent MGTOW who has just learned that his until-now all-male sanctum at work is about to be invaded by … a female.

Well, he doesn’t put it quite so politely.

My work mostly revolves around maintaining records, preserving old books and documents. Our department is always swamped , with us 3 guys doing all the work but hr decided that we need a c*nt to bright up our days.

And now, he says,

I am afraid for my future.

My usual plan to deal with females is this..

1. Be Curt and to the point. No extra talking other than what is relevant to the work at hand.

2. Always in the view of a camera and other employees.

3. Maintain at least a furniture in between or wall or a distance of at least 3 feet. I get away with this by saying I have allergies to perfume and they don’t want to be the splash zone. Huehuehue

And it seems like a solid plan: act like a complete weirdo whenever a woman enters the room, rushing to find the nearest piece of furniture to hide behind like she’s some sort of active shooter, but armed with false accusations instead of an assault rifle.

But alas, it turns out he has to actually train her a little, which means he’ll have to enter inside the 3-foot female proximity danger zone — and he’s afraid the additional cameras he had his employers put up on a flimsy pretext won’t be enough to protect him.

I am afraid as this work requires to be in close enough proximity to the other person to show nitty gritties like applying wet tissue paper to the page and making it translucent with a chemical.

Please help. She starts working with us next week.

Had Mr. AndroidMetroid asked these questions anywhere else but an MGTOW safe space, it’s likely that his COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE CONCERNS would have been dismissed as “the paranoid delusions of a terrified, woman-hating baby man” or “the cringiest shit I’ve ever seen” or “what the fuck are you even talking about, dude, you’re going to be working with a woman, not a giant angry bear.”

But happily the readers of the MGTOW subreddit understand the grave danger that Mr. AndroidMetroid is in, and they’ve offered him many helpful suggestions that were definitely not hysterical and/or possibly illegal overreactions that could possibly get him fired.

“Bring your own camera,” one commenter suggested.

Bring a voice recorder. Who cares if recording someone’s voice without their permission is illegal. It’s better to be guilty of that than being guilty of rape.

Another suggested that he not allow her near him unless there’s someone else present who can vouch for him.

Never have any dealings with her without a witness present.

Document your encounters with her somewhere accessible only to you. (Time, place, duration, reason)

And watch out for her devious lady scheming!

Expect her to begin ‘grooming’ that is to say, she will attempt to cultivate one or both other males in the department as allies against you if she doesn’t perceive you as an available avenue to greater status or resources.

Still another helpful MGTOW Redditor, a fellow by the name of PressNeinForGerman, advised our poor soon-to-be mentor to make an effort to not appear human.

I suggest you pretty much act like a robot.

And not just any robot, a snooty robot, “cold and unwelcoming.”

The only danger here is that if you act too standoffish, she might end up falling in love with you, because women just love aloof jerks — as any Red Pill men man will tell you, at great length. So you need to go a little bit beyond aloof to “actively disgusted.”

Strait up ignore her. Ignore her in the way you would the homeless man scratching his asshole on the public bus; with slight disgust and haste to “get the ride over with and get out of there”.

I’m sure HR would be delighted to hear that Mr. AndroidMetroid has been treating the woman he’s been assigned to train like she’s a piece of shit on his shoe. Absolutely top-notch advice here.

PressNein continued, advising the future mentor-of-a-female that

anytime she has a question that’s not relevant to the job (ex. How old are you, are you married, hobbies, etc) shrug your shoulders and don’t say a word. Be completely disinterested, even slightly standoffish. If she persists, With a disgusted look on your face look her right in the eye and say: “That’s not appropriate, and I really don’t appreciate you asking”.

Say it with the same conviction that you would tell a child that you’re disappointed in for something. Really bear down with your tone that it is not okay what she is asking you.

Yes, it’s always good to respond to innocent questions about yourself as if you’re a serial killer terrified that the questioner is going to notice the pile of dead bodies you’ve got hidden behind your desk, with the feet of several victims sticking out on one side.

If she tries to be physical with you in any way like brushing you on the shoulder in conversation … [i]mmediately look at her and state that that is not okay. “DO NOT TOUCH ME”.

Take some inspiration from this guy:

Or perhaps this gal:

Well, maybe be slightly more subtle than that.

Say it loud enough so everyone in the room can hear it. It will embarrass the shit out of her and she will learn not to do that again because women hate to be rejected. Especially in public eye. Be as abrasive as possible without giving her a reason to send you to HR.

Boy, it would sure be terrible if some innocent fellow like our boy AndroidMetroid got sent to HR just because he went out of his way to create a hostile work environment for a women he was supposed to be training.

A commenter called n0x29a offered a different approach. Instead of acting like some weird, rude, vaguely hysterical robot, he suggested that our future mentor go all beta on her.

you have to make her lose interest in you by acting like a total cuck or a simp. Try to make her bored and lost interest very quickly in you.

Read about what attracts women and do the opposite.

Women are attracted to masculine men so act very passive and feminine (if you are ballsy)

I guess that could work, even though it doesn’t involve screaming at the trainee or treating her like she’s literally covered in shit.

Someone called Alexius_von_Meinong had a somewhat more pessimistic take, warning AndroidMetroid that he should be ready to run for the door as if there were a missile headed directly for his office.

Be ready to bolt if necessary. This is the employment equivalent of always having a mobility bag ready. While there are rational steps you can take, there are also situations in which your degrees of freedom will be severely limited. If that happens, assess the situation with a cold eye, and act to save yourself first, before anything else.

Alongside all this totally solid advice that couldn’t possibly backfire, there was one strange comment that struck a discordant note. A fellow with the hippyish moniker HaightnAshbury recommended that AndroidMetroid make an effort

to treat this human like a human, to treat her with respect, to maybe gain a friend, if not just a competent colleague.

Wait, what?

If you are a real person … it’s important that you either give this other real person a chance, or, that you go through the proper channels to have a superior or a colleague get her away from you.

Naturally, the regulars on the MGTOW subreddit downvoted this truly weird suggestion — treat a woman like a human being!? — down below zero to a -3.

Being a Man Going His Own Way means never acknowledging that women are from the same species as you.

H/T — a post in the Blue Pill subreddit

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Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

What Jenora said. I’m not a WordPress dev but I do know PHP (the language WordPress is written in) and I know there are many aspects to keeping a high-traffic blog like this up and running. The situation is further complicated if David is using a third-party caching service like CloudFlare to protect the site from DDoS attacks (which, given the thin skins and fevered egos of the manosphere, is probably a necessity) as that’s another layer sitting between you and the server.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer

I did not know any of that, but it makes sense! It’s actually pretty cool. Okay, still frustrating, especially when the disappearing comment is one you want to edit and your edit window just keeps slipping away…

But kinda cool.

Thanks for the explanation!

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Cat Mara:
That’s another issue, yes; I didn’t touch on that one because I was thinking specifically on how you could get comments showing up in the side panel but not on the main page, and third-party caching services aren’t likely to be doing separate caching of different parts of the page. That requires being connected to the database back-end.

(If the widgets were being done separately using <FRAME> it would be different.)

I have to debug customer-reported problems as part of my job. Which means making educated guesses at ‘what possible sequence of events behind the scenes could have caused this weird thing to happen’ is, in fact, a good chunk of what I do for a living.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer
I was unfamiliar with frame so I looked it up. Looks like it’s not supported in HTML5. iframe still is, though. Not sure I ever would have used it; doesn’t seem like a good option for the types of sites I’ve worked on. Still an interesting concept, though! I love learning new code. 😀

(In before someone tells me HTML isn’t code. :P)

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@kupo:
Define ‘code’…

Strictly, HTML might not be ‘code’ by itself, but CSS definitely is. Somebody wrote a Tower of Hanoi implementation in straight HTML/CSS, no Javascript involved.

https://codepen.io/finnhvman/pen/gzmMaa

Anything where you can write a Tower of Hanoi implementation counts as code as far as I’m concerned.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Jenora Feuer
Nice! CSS is definitely getting pretty neat. And I don’t know if I’d call a markup language code, if asked to define it, but it still falls into the code category in my head because it’s one of the languages I use to build shit.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@kupo:
Well, TeX/LaTeX is Turing-complete, and it’s a markup language.

I’m not really familiar enough with the details of CSS to say for certain, but I expect you could do something similar in that. I’m not sure if it would be self-clocking, though; you might need someone clicking a button outside to make things happen (as with that Tower of Hanoi bit).

Now I’m wondering if you could do a Game of Life using HTML+CSS, even if it needs a manual toggle to run each step… and it looks like somebody did that as well, at least a one-generation version:

https://codepen.io/AmeliaBR/pen/EifgL

So, with that, yes, I’d say CSS is definitely ‘code’. The Game of Life is Turing-complete, so if you can implement that, you can theoretically implement anything. (Just not very efficiently.)

BlueNinja
BlueNinja
1 year ago

To think that if he managed to put on a believably brave face and act like a normal human being, maybe getting to know her as a normal colleague, it could risk meaning the death of an MGTOW…but not in the way he thinks.

But that really takes some ego and weirdness to believe that a women he hadn’t even met will automatically want to jump his bones.

refineryworker
refineryworker
1 year ago

One poster asked do these MGTOW’s work with women.
It is not at all uncommon for men to have careers in which we rarely or never see women colleagues or supervisors.
In my over 20yrs of steady work, very few of my jobs have had any women.
And the introduction of a woman into those workplaces for some men does feel like a very disruptive thing. I have had a co-worker say he didn’t trust a woman who is an Engineer and would never be alone with her. I had a supervisor, say that woman was forced on him as a form of sabotage to get him to fail and lose his job. He didn’t treat her that well.

When our unit got a woman as a fellow operator after not having one for over a decade, some of the other men made a big deal predicting how weak she’d be, and how we’d have to pick up the slack and do her work, and of course once she arrived some of the men made inappropriate sexual type comments.

The weird thing is she was so used to men acting kinda strange towards her, that she let’s a ton of stuff pass. I did speak up at times, but we mostly don’t work together and are on different shifts.

So I really do feel for the woman who has to interact with this man, because men who aren’t MGTOW can behave very strangely around women coworkers who get introduced into a previously all male workplace. I have witnessed this for a fact.