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A billionaire died during penis enlargement surgery, and incels are taking it hard

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By David Futrelle

A billionaire diamond trader has reportedly died of a heart attack during penis enlargement surgery at a Paris clinic. 65-year-old Ehud Arye Laniado apparently gave up the ghost after an unknown substance was injected into his dick, which would probably be my reaction, too.

According to The Sun — the go-to source for billionaire penis enhancement mishap news — the billionaire

suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due his short stature.

An old friend of Laniado … said that [he] was “always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.”

According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

Poor fella.

No one, it seems, is taking the news of Laniado’s death harder than the incels — who have naturally made it all about themselves.

On the Incels.is forums, one prolific commenter called ShrodingersDick declares that

No amount of money can make up for dickletism + manletism combo.. that’s a deadly combo right there

Meanwhile, a commenter called Looksmaxxcel laments that

If you fall short on height and looks, no matter how hard you bust your ass to accomplish something, it will always amount to nothing if you are undesirable to women. 

This article alone should shut down the … bullshit that we aren’t trying hard enough.

Of course, as the incels see it, some hypothetical woman has got to be to blame for Laniado’s undignified demise. “You just know this was caused when some model laughed at his dick,” declares an extremely prolific Incels.is commenter called NEETandTidy.

NoMoreSlaving — the very same fellow whose thoughts on underwear and penis size I discussed the other day — is blaming a different hypothetical woman, claiming that Laniado “[p]robably was operated on by some diversity quota french slut.”

While the commenters on Incels.is all feel sorry for themselves, not all of them feel bad about Laniado’s death.

Upon learning that the billionaire was Jewish, one commenter declared “good riddance,” and other commenters quickly chimed in to agree. Indeed, one commenter has apparently convinced himself that the billionaire, sneaky Jew that he was, probably faked his own death, presumably for some sneaky Jew reason.

“(((Billionaires))) fake their deaths all the time,” he asserts.

And this story is a cheap manipulation which will unfortunately work on the soyim: “But why would he fake his death IN THIS WAY? Exposing to the public that he has a micropeen? Huehuehue. No way.”

Over on the Braincels subreddit — Reddit’s main incel forum — the regulars have managed to avoid anti-Semitic outbursts so far, and are concentrating instead on the alleged injustice of it all.

“Imagine working all your life to become a billionaire and owner of an internationally successful company just to die during a penis enlargement surgery,” writes one commenter.

“Jesus christ I wanna die,” adds another.

Somehow wahmen are more objectifeid yet billionare male gets their genitals ruined for womens sake.

Other incel Redditors, meanwhile, are sharing the results of their own research into penis enlargement. And at least one of them is undaunted by the news of Laniado’s demise.

“For girth you literally inject plexiglass (PMMA) into your dick.” writes someone called -dot. “I will probably have it done next year.”

Uh, I would suggest that maybe you don’t do that? Because whatever it is that’s causing women to not want to date you, I’m pretty sure that approximately zero percent of it has to do with what’s in your pants, and that nearly 100 percent of it has to do with all the incel bullshit in your head. But best of luck, I guess?

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Wetherby,

And Peter Dinklage has no shortage of admirers. He’s also married.

Robert,

Happy birthday!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ Robert

Happy Birthday!!!

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

I find it really sad that someone died because of his body image issues. He had achieved a lot of success by the current (admittedly warped and awful) standards and none of that was enough.

Hambeast
Hambeast
5 years ago

I’ve already had a micropenis TMI in another thread, I’ve been sick, and I’m bored, so why not a little height TMI?

I’m 5’7″ and have always been the most attracted to men around 5’6″. Most men 5’9″ or under will catch my eye. I’ve dated a few of these favored men, but sadly, not many. Why? They refused to date women taller than themselves (including in heels) and unequivocally said so, thus, making me sad.

I ended up marrying Husbeast at 6’1″ who knows full well I did not marry him for his height.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Celebrate International Women’s day y mocking Peter Bogdonavich whining about Cher being a man hater.

http://dlisted.com/2019/03/08/the-director-of-mask-came-for-cher/#more-328964

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Hambeast,

I don’t have a strong height preference, I would never reject someone for it, but I do tend to be most attracted to men in the 5’6″ to 5’9″ range. “Manlets” are quite attractive to me. Unless of course they’re in a constant misogynistic rage about it.

Alexis Filth
5 years ago

I’m using this article as part of a game I’m making for my podcast. I named the game incelmageddon.
It’s just too much, these hateful little saps.
I thought I had a winner with my game about the implosion of the TWP (because schadenfreude towards neo nazis is the best kind) but this article is just too good to pass up.

Nanny Oggs Busom
Nanny Oggs Busom
5 years ago

I am was under the impression that, depending on where in the world you are the average height of men varies between 5’7″ and 5’10”? What do incels think the average is? They do not seem to understand that their beliefs are not an accurate representation of reality.

I actually feel some sympathy for the man who died; clearly he had major body image issues and subjected himself to a needless operation that killed him because of it. Maybe his insecurity is what pushed him to be a billionaire and to develop such unpleasant habits as asking his accountant to read out his bank balance multiple times a day. It’s really rather sad that he felt so insecure about himself that he needed to be such an arse.

We’re all subject to social ideas of ‘normal’, even if that’s not reality. For instance, advertising tells us ‘normal’ women are skinny, tall, fair, with big boobs. Reality: average UK size is 16, average height is 5 foot 7 inches, boobs: vary greatly and big boobs hurt, and humans come in a wide variety of shades. Women put themselves through hell because of the pressure to be thin, including operations that have limited weight loss effects and can kill. So, a cis man feeling pressure to live up to social expectations of height, weight, penis size etc, is understandable, but just as I would be seriously concerned for a woman, or any person, going to extreme lengths to lose weight, I would be concerned for a man going to extreme lengths to have a penis enlargement. The damage to their psyche and how seriously unhappy they must be is saddening.

On the other hand, he sounds like he was a right prick. Bet he was hell to work with or for.

Also, as much as I hate to admit it, Napoleon Bonaparte wasn’t that short, 5 foot seven, if I remember correctly, so about average for his time and background. The whole ‘Napoleon the shortarse’ thing is British propaganda from the Napoleonic Wars.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
5 years ago

I’m 6’7″. I don’t have a particular interest in someone’s height or whatever, but it’s kind of a trip being a super tall woman.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

It’s really rather sad that he felt so insecure about himself that he needed to be such an arse.

Plenty of people feel insecure but manage not to be arses to other people, though.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
5 years ago

@ IgnoreSandra,

That’s so cool! I’m considered unusually tall for a woman, and I’m “only” 5’11 or so.
Do you find you struggle to find long-enough clothes? I usually have to add a few inches of fabric to any of my dresses, or they’re too short. Argh at clothing manufacturers and their limited sizes!

And then, of course, we were both probably always middle-of-the-back-row in school photos…?

Jane Done
Jane Done
5 years ago

@Manlet Omlette, Nanny Oggs Busom

In regards to sympathy for Mr. Poor Billionare who suffered so greatly with his feels:

No.

Nobody in this planet makes that much money without getting blood on their hands.

It’s how capitalism works. It’s shitty, it’s flawed, and yes, I’m sure there’s plenty of people making 100 grand a year who really try to be responsible, humane rich people, but if someone has more money than entire cities, they’re contributing to atrocities by being a big part of an inhumane system.

These kinds of people, individuals who have immense power over society and the world, need to actively prove their good will to humanity by doing their damndest to dismantle or change the system, because there is overwhelming evidence that the vast majority of the ultra-rich are dangerous and/or malicious.

Jane Done
Jane Done
5 years ago

@Kat:

Have your height checked at a doctor’s office — you’ll see I’m right.

Funny story: I got grilled by a guy at a job once who was so totally convinced that I couldn’t possibly be under 6 feet tall (I was taller than him). He apparently got into an “argument” with his doctor about his height, and how the doctor was totally measuring him wrong and he was totally taller than what the doctor said.

You meet some interesting people doing temp work.

Hetneo
Hetneo
5 years ago

@Nanny Oggs Busom
Those stats are actually deceptive when it comes how relevant they are, for two reasons. First, because those are multi-generational stats and over generations average height changes. Second, people compare their height to people in their environment. Anecdotal evidence, but a good illustration of what I’m trying to say is a comparison of me and my father. We are both 5’7”, age difference 35 years, the average height for males in my country when he was in college was 5’7”, when I was in college average height was 5’8”. Back in the day most of the people he knew were of similar hight. In my day I was consistently the shortest guy, the only male I know who is shorter than me that I know personally is my paternal grandpa, the majority of guys I personally know are in 5’10-6′ range.
Personally, I can sympathise with any guy who has heigh related issues. Been there, have scars. I still walk and move slowish than natural, and change my posture to more aggressive one in the presence of guys much taller than me. But these guys do not have an issue with hight per se, but with valuing themselves by the measure of masculinity.

Bina
5 years ago

These guys…they need to take a lesson from THIS guy:

I MET a little Elf-man, once,
Down where the lilies blow.
I asked him why he was so small,
And why he didn’t grow.

He slightly frowned, and with his eye
He looked me through and through.
“I’m quite as big for me,” said he,
“As you are big for you.”

–John Kendrick Bangs

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
5 years ago

Speaking as an accountant,

According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

I hope this guy’s accountant charged him a LOT for this.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
5 years ago

The real question is, how tall was the accountant? Was he a very short accountant, so Laniado wouldn’t feel overwhelmed, or was he a very tall accountant, so Laniado could point and laugh about how much richer he was?

Dalillama
Dalillama
5 years ago

I’m notable taller than both the dudes I’m with atm, and I’m only 5’8″. Which is about the local average for men, and a bit above the average for women. Neither of them gets a complex about this, nor have most of the short dudes I’ve known. I clearly recall one fellow, about 5’3″, being asked if it didn’t bother him that his girlfriend was so much taller than him. He replied that if he worried about that bullshit he’d never have a relationship, and no it doesn’t.

Alexis Filth
5 years ago

I’m 6’3″.
My husband is 5’6″
He loves me looming over him

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

In regards to sympathy for Mr. Poor Billionare who suffered so greatly with his feels:

No.

Nobody in this planet makes that much money without getting blood on their hands.

I mean, I don’t disagree with your last statement. But someone can be a shitty, exploitative person and still be a victim of a toxic mindset perpetuated by our culture.

Am I going to lose sleep over someone with billions of dollars in blood money feeling insecure? No, I don’t think I will.

But would I like to live in a world where no one is made to feel that their body is inadequate and something to be ashamed of? Yeah, that sounds pretty nice.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
5 years ago

@Bookworm

Yeah, finding clothes in my size is basically impossible. They’re all kind of short, and since I don’t really know garment alteration, the best I can do is wear leggings underneath them. Makes most things a step racier than they’re intended to be, and while I don’t mind that I’d like more consistent options for not that. Most of my height is in my legs, though.

In particular, I struggle with shoes. Women’s size 15s, so…most of my shoes are men’s 14s instead.

And yeah, every time I’ve been in a photo – school, family, any – I’ve been told to stand in the back. You know, where people can’t see the outfit I picked out specifically to be seen in lol.

I’ve kind of resigned myself to always being taller than any partner I could have, which is okay cause…height is height and it’s not real important.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

@Jane Done

Funny story: I got grilled by a guy at a job once who was so totally convinced that I couldn’t possibly be under 6 feet tall (I was taller than him).

Oh no.

He apparently got into an “argument” with his doctor about his height, and how the doctor was totally measuring him wrong and he was totally taller than what the doctor said.

Oh no, no, no.

You meet some interesting people doing temp work.

Can totally confirm, and “interesting” in not necessarily a good way.

Amtep
Amtep
5 years ago

He should go to that White House doctor to get his height measured. I hear the guy is free now, too.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

@Moon_custafer,

I only knew about the real-estate agency because of this blog! I’m sure it was Alan Robertshaw who told me

@Dormousing_it,

Why was your book confiscated what is this outrage

I also just noticed the typos in my screenshot: “a Vegan snow lizard” ahahahahahaha

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

@Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile

We went to the doctor and checked our heights. You were correct – we were hallucinating that we were actually quite short. Thank you for setting us back on the true path!