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By David Futrelle
In case you missed this horror when it appeared on Reddit last week, here’s an ingenious “solution” for incels oppressed by having non-porn-star sized penises.
Any by “ingenious” I mean “so utterly repulsive it may destroy your last remaining shred of hope for humanity.”
In a post on the Incels.is forums with the seemingly innocuous title “Dick Quotas,” a dude calling himself Mainländer announced what he called “a genius idea to make society and the sexual market fairer.”
Prepare yourself.
We all know being a dicklet sucks and foids will ridicule you for it, and most men want to fuck JBs [jailbaits], so why don’t we make the AoC [Age of Consent] dependent on the guy’s dick size?
[inwardly screaming]
If your cock is 3 inches or less, the AoC is 12 for you.
If your cock is between 3 and 4 inches, the AoC is 13 for you.
If your cock is between 4 and 5 inches, the AoC is 14 for you.
If your cock is between 5 and 6 inches, the AoC is 15 for you.
If your cock is between 6 and 7 inches, the AoC is 16 for you.
If your cock is between 7 and 8 inches, the AoC is 17 for you.
If your cock is 8 inches or more, the AoC is 18 for you.
In addition to everything else that’s fucked-up about this tweet — underage girls aren’t prizes to be given out to men to compensate them for their alleged penile shortcomings — it’s based on a bizarrely pornified notion of what counts as a small dick. The average penis size is between 5 and 6 inches, and most cis men have penises somewhere in or near that range. Only a tiny percentage of men dicks that are 8 inches long or larger. And most women don’t give a shit about dick size. This is just an excuse for Mainländer to fantasize about underage girls.
Everyone wins.
Yeah, everyone except the UNDERAGE GIRLS YOU’LL BE RAPING.
In case you’re wondering, Mainländer isn’t some teenager or drive-by troll. He’s posted more than 14,000 comments on Incels.is, and describes himself as being older than 30. (One commenter in the thread refers to him as a man in his 50s.)
No jokes this time. It really seems like this open pedo shit is becoming more common on Incels.is, with an increasing number of incels convinced not only that they’re oppressed by adult women refusing to have sex with them but also because they can’t have sex with underage girls.
Incel forums are toxic in pretty much every way it’s possible to be toxic. These guys aren’t venting. They aren’t providing support for one another. They’re turning themselves and each other into even worse human beings every day they spend on forums like this. And making themselves ever more miserable and bitter in the process.
H/T — r/IncelTears
Here’s why I don’t think that he’s a troll: Trolling an incel board is like trying to troll 4chan; I believe the phrase is “pissing into an ocean of piss.”
And this isn’t at all fucking with incels; it’s validating their inherent insecurities and theories about SMV!
As another person on another website once put it, “if you’re ironically fucking a goat, you’re still fucking a goat.”
@Nowherepants
Smug superiority strikes again!
Too bad we mere mortals don’t have the magical incel board decoder ring that tells us exactly when something is a Poe and when not. I am so glad that Nowherepants came along to save us from the folly of not being him.
cw for stereotyping and possible offensive terminology
I dunno… I can really only speak for myself regarding what I “want to”, and cite statistical type evidence for others….
PornHub (you knew it was gonna go there…) doesn’t have a category for “jailbait”, which does not surprise, “teen” probably being the closest. As reported by Esquire (Dec. 2018), the most popular search terms had “romantic” at #3 (behind “Stormy Daniels”, “Fortnite” and “4K”), which should cause the MRAs some grief; followed by “trans”, which should REALLY cause them to howl.
P.H.’s most viewed categories had “MILF” at #3, “mature” at #7, with “teen” clear down at #12. So, in response to the “jailbait” contention, Im’a hafta say “NO”, it doesn’t appear that way. At least not on the most popular porn site in the known universe….
Of the women I personally know, their age distribution is probably a good-lookin’ bell curve, distributed around a 30-40-year-old mean. I’m not in an intimate relationship at all, but I will say I’d feel really skeevy approaching someone in even THAT age group — roughly the same age as my son…. Just sayin’
…
https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/news/a52061/most-popular-porn-searches/
I’m assuming his argument is based on younger = smaller body = smaller penis sheath*
Unfortunately none of these assumptions are necessarily true. Girls usually stop growing between 14 and 15**, so assuming that his theory is accurate there would be no reason to have a different age of consent above that age.
So, his theory isn’t just horrible, it also internally inconsistent.
If I were a cis man, I’d take huge issue with these guys saying that all men want to have sex with children. I wonder if he’s interacted with 12 year olds since he was a kid. People that age are CHILDREN. There’s no good reason for a grown adult to foist that kind of relationship on a child.
*I’m being intentionally horrible in my phrasing to illustrate his lack of regard for women’s personhood.
**Thanks, Dr. Google.
Re: the tampon article.
But whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
What possible benefit could he get from this? One needs as many tampons as they need. It *might* be 10. It might be more or less.
Is he trying to budget for a women’s penitentiary?
Is he trying to prove that there is no significant “pink tax”?
I just don’t see what he thinks he will get out of this, other than ridicule.
Note: diva cups are awesome!
I think the only think in the whole post I don’t have isues with is using a acronym for Age of Consent (sometimes lazy). Sorry the first two newsitems in the TVNews I watched a short time ago was about child molestion (at last in both cases the men responsible got sentenced to jail).
We had a tread with the same topic shortly ago, so yeah not great motivation to discuss this.
My first reaction was get this … of the internet, second one better not as long as he is online he is not near children.
Given the rest of the context of the post, no, I don’t think the argument is based off of what can “fit”, so to speak. There is, as is standard for incels, absolutely no consideration for the emotions or thoughts of their desired sex-objects at all. The logic in this post appears to be:
Men with small penises feel bad/are mocked -> most men want to have sex with children -> in order to compensate small-penised men for their emotional distress, they should be allowed to rape children.
With perhaps a dash of “small-penised men must be allowed to prey on children as there is no other conceivable avenue for them to enter into a sexual relationship. Everyone knows penis size is the only deciding factor in relationships, after all.”
OP’s not a troll, and dismissing this stuff, serious or not, is part of the problem.
Curious_Diversions:
That does seem like a logical straw I’d grasp for, though it’s not really evident in the parts David quoted, and I don’t quite feel like reading the archived full post for context.
Catalpa:
I don’t see the logical connection, and probably don’t want to.
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner:
If this was about me, I am taking it seriously, and I am thankful for David for reporting it.
For me interacting with other stuff is easier. Mocking it, making jokes, discus other interesting thinks that pop up, trollsiting…
Topics like this cost a lot of energy.
This may not be what you said but it’s exactly what the effect of “ignore them and they’ll go away” actually is.
If just “ignoring them” worked in any way whatsoever, the holocaust wouldn’t have happened. If “ignoring” worked in any way, trans people wouldn’t be murdered for existing. It all starts with words and ideas.
Speaking of trans stuff (segue ftw)
@Weird Eddie:
Yeah, I doubt that has any real-life application. From what I’ve seen, trans people being allowed to have sexual relationships (like most every human being) is something the overwhelming majority of people still do not accept.
I mean it’s just like how lots of straight men watch so-called lesbian porn. It’s almost all fake, creepy made-by-men made-for-men pandering.
Being a troll or not is meaningless anyway. So called “troll” almost alway believe what they say, and just use the excuse of “I am joking” to not have to assume that. The only difference it do is that a troll ll probably try to vehemently deny he actually believe that.
Did anyone else here get the impression that this was written with a ruler in one hand and the figures tweaked until the poster’s own measurements were in accord with the age-group he personally likes to creep on/ fantasise about? What a scumbag. ?
@Weird Eddie:
Wait, hold on a sec
Fortnite??
…uh, that’s um…
I…I don’t even
@ people who think a huge fucking percentage of adult men aren’t “””hebephiles”””
Nope. Sorry. Go pretend you’re a 11 year old girl on the internet for 2 hours.
@Jane Done:
This was touched upon in one of ContraPoints’s videos where she mentioned studies showing that porn featuring trans performers is consumed at quite high rates in US states that have “bathroom bills” and other forms of trans harassment on their books, leading her to snark that it’s apparently OK to beat off to trans people but not actually treat them like a human beings…
@Cat Mara: Yep, and I can tell you lesbian porn definitely doesn’t make straight men respect me either.
It’s funny, almost like evidence that porn shouldn’t be a source of information, almost like maybe people should be educated about this shit or something giant_rotating_gee_I_wonder.gif
yyyyyeah I’m pretty sure the assumption that these people are trolling is part of how they’ve managed to proliferate the way they have, because there’s trolling and then there’s “trolling”.
Before /mlp/ existed on 4chan, brony trolls would spam random threads with pony pics because they didn’t want to be on the furry board and the furries didn’t want them there either because there was too much pony stuff being posted. It pissed people off – some people went on irrational tirades about it that were hysterical – but on the whole it was relatively harmless. Sure, there was a lot of porn and I don’t really want to derail myself in the ethics of making porn of cartoon characters from kids shows because I do find it squicky and uncomfortable, but it wasn’t worse than the animu porn crap and pony spam basically didn’t have a harmful ethos toward other people behind it, is the point. Brony “love and tolerate” was crap, of course, but at least the thought behind it was okay. And then they eventually got their own board and mostly kept their stuff there so it mostly stopped being a problem/irritant.
On the other hand, though, we have that alt-right pepe stuff and other racist memes that became really popular, especially in cesspits like /pol/ and /b/. Maybe that one really did start with people “being ironic” and trolling, but enough people took it seriously that the end result is that we now have a bunch of new neo-Nazis, so letting them get away with THAT crap – which is different from pony spam because at its core it dehumanizes and wishes real harm on real people – was, in retrospect, probably a REALLY bad idea (no wonder moot stopped admining and distanced himself).
In a nutshell, it shouldn’t matter if these people are “trying to be funny” and doing it for lulz. It’s like the difference between algae and dry rot. Algae is a surface problem that requires a lot of water. Yeah, it comes back a lot, and it’s slimy and gross, but you can wipe it away pretty easily when you need to because it does sit on the surface and if you get rid of standing water it’s gone.
But dry rot is a lot more subtle and proliferate. It can handle a wider range of environments than algae – it doesn’t need to be visibly wet, just a reasonable amount of humidity is fine. It tends to grow and fling spores everywhere, causing more fungus wherever those little spores find the right environment, starts almost invisibly, and the filaria “roots” of the fungus spread under the surface and start destroying its substrate and leave it infected too so that by the time you can really see a lot of it, it’s a serious problem that comparatively goes pretty deep and turns your structure to wood powder.
You have to know which is which, and it’s really not that hard to tell. Just look at how they talk about other groups of people. Do they otherize them? Do they dehumanize them and liken them to animals such as parasites, pests, or apes? Do they portray them as excessively stupid or talk “ironically” about killing them or how much better society would be without them? Then you have dry rot. Are they just doing something basically harmless but so incredibly annoying that you kind of wish you could reach through your computer screen and slap them? Then you have algae.
@Catalpa
Yeah, same. But try at about the 2 hour mark, rather than over 8. Sounds like yours are a bit above the average, not freakishly, unlike myself. Thing is, there’s women who have them so light they barely even need a thin pad for the whole thing. Also, I think the average is way low and based on weighing pad & tampons, which can’t even remotely be accurate.
@TheKND
I would like to cash in my “knowing about FATAL” points to get a trebuchet to yeet Mainländer into the sun. (If that’s not enough points I can also name what FATAL stands for both pre- and post- retcon. I’m kind of a connoisseur of crappy games.)
@Catalpa
That’s basically where my mind went, with a soupçon of “small-penised (cis) men must be allowed to prey on children because children are easier to manipulate, and we have legal power over them, so they cannot leave us. Also they don’t have enough life experience to know a) what a small penis is and b) when they’re being abused.”
dusty bunny:
Lets just say there is big number and the problem has been ignored to much.
We have lost a great deal of the internet. A lot of places (and that includes a lot of comentsections) are so rude that they drive the other voices away.
And beeing on the internet people are posting horible stuff that they would never dare to say of the net.
The other problem is that a lot of people look away, excusing stuff and often even helping to make it stay hush.
Often the internet tends for groups to build themselves that share interests. That can be cool, and can be absolut catastrophic.
Now I would never play an multiplayer-onlinegame (execption is online-mafia) because I heared how horrible it is.
RE: Period Guy
TMI Alert: This person doesn’t seem to take into account the effect different levels of viscosity might have on absorption. I’m other words, clots. The tampon isn’t going to absorb those.
@ Jane Done:
THIS!!!!! You’re absolutely right about the danger of normalizing this shit. That’s been the lingering stench of trumpism, the normalizing of hate and hate groups.
…
Yup, it’s “Fortnite.” the video game (thanx, again, Dr. Google)… I didn’t look any farther, as I’m, uhh, not really that curious.
I agree about “trans” pron being a fetish.
I don’t think a majority or a plurality of adult men are pedophiles. But I do think there’s way more of them than people think there are, and society practically bends over backwards to maintain the illusion. It’s practically baked into patriarchy, really. You can’t have a society that values women mostly for youth and appearance without encouraging it.
@Nowherepants
That’s not Poe’s Law though. Poe’s Law is that the average troll is indistinguishable from someone who is sincere. So it’s impossible to tell whether this person is a troll or not. And, well, it doesn’t really matter if they’re sincere or not, for a few reasons.
The big one is that it doesn’t matter what people feel or believe internally when it comes to social movements, only what they say and do matters. We saw an army of channers descend on Charlottesville, waving keki and nazi flags around, getting into fights; we saw the same trolls laughing about how it was “just a joke” after scurrying off once they faced any actual opposition. It doesn’t matter if they were sincere or not, that event ratcheted up fascist support across the country.
The little one is that no one can put on a false front for too long. It’s a well understood phenomenon that if you repeat a lie long enough you start to believe in it. There was an article on Stormfront that was discussed here about “how did you come to [be a nazi shithead]” and a lot of the commenters began with something like “It was just funny memes at first, but the more I thought about it…”
In the end, this is one of the few legitimate uses of Ockham’s Razor. Either he’s someone saying horrible things on a horrible site, or he’s all that and he’s actually just joking about it. The latter’s got an extra argument that makes no difference to the outcome. Remove it.
(Sorry if this seemed aggressive! It wasn’t intended to be so, and if it felt that way, I apologize. I’ve tried to edit out anything too forceful.)
oops, shit, missed the edit window.
I don’t really have any familiarity with it (“trans” porn) other than some blogs and interviews with transgender women who do porn…