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By David Futrelle
In case you missed this horror when it appeared on Reddit last week, here’s an ingenious “solution” for incels oppressed by having non-porn-star sized penises.
Any by “ingenious” I mean “so utterly repulsive it may destroy your last remaining shred of hope for humanity.”
In a post on the Incels.is forums with the seemingly innocuous title “Dick Quotas,” a dude calling himself Mainländer announced what he called “a genius idea to make society and the sexual market fairer.”
Prepare yourself.
We all know being a dicklet sucks and foids will ridicule you for it, and most men want to fuck JBs [jailbaits], so why don’t we make the AoC [Age of Consent] dependent on the guy’s dick size?
[inwardly screaming]
If your cock is 3 inches or less, the AoC is 12 for you.
If your cock is between 3 and 4 inches, the AoC is 13 for you.
If your cock is between 4 and 5 inches, the AoC is 14 for you.
If your cock is between 5 and 6 inches, the AoC is 15 for you.
If your cock is between 6 and 7 inches, the AoC is 16 for you.
If your cock is between 7 and 8 inches, the AoC is 17 for you.
If your cock is 8 inches or more, the AoC is 18 for you.
In addition to everything else that’s fucked-up about this tweet — underage girls aren’t prizes to be given out to men to compensate them for their alleged penile shortcomings — it’s based on a bizarrely pornified notion of what counts as a small dick. The average penis size is between 5 and 6 inches, and most cis men have penises somewhere in or near that range. Only a tiny percentage of men dicks that are 8 inches long or larger. And most women don’t give a shit about dick size. This is just an excuse for Mainländer to fantasize about underage girls.
Everyone wins.
Yeah, everyone except the UNDERAGE GIRLS YOU’LL BE RAPING.
In case you’re wondering, Mainländer isn’t some teenager or drive-by troll. He’s posted more than 14,000 comments on Incels.is, and describes himself as being older than 30. (One commenter in the thread refers to him as a man in his 50s.)
No jokes this time. It really seems like this open pedo shit is becoming more common on Incels.is, with an increasing number of incels convinced not only that they’re oppressed by adult women refusing to have sex with them but also because they can’t have sex with underage girls.
Incel forums are toxic in pretty much every way it’s possible to be toxic. These guys aren’t venting. They aren’t providing support for one another. They’re turning themselves and each other into even worse human beings every day they spend on forums like this. And making themselves ever more miserable and bitter in the process.
H/T — r/IncelTears
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
:deep breath:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anyone who posts regularly to an incel site ought to be on a watchlist.
Firstly, [citation needed].
Secondly, I’m pretty sure that the converse does not hold true. So why the fuck would this even be worth bringing up?
Oh yeah, that’s because incels don’t regard women as people.
And yet they still worry about “consent”? Or are they using that term simply because it’s commonly used, without examining what it actually means?
Probably the latter.
STOP WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH CHILDREN YOU DISGUSTING CREATURES I’M ASHAMED TO SHARE A SPECIES WITH. Got that off of my chest.
When I was 12, I wasn’t even ready to have a puppy-love, handy-holdy boyfriend yet. Much less sex with a repulsive, way-older “dicklet”.
Ugh.
If you have to have acronyms for jailbait and age of consent, you might be a fucked up terrible person.
I’m not big on government observance of internet behaviour, for a host of reasons, but man, if you’re posting justifications for violence against women and rape, especially child rape, that feels fucking justified to me. It’s not just passively looking into it, for research or whatever, but you’re putting yourself out there in support of it. That seems pretty reasonable to monitor to me. I’m not a lawyer, and I understand the civil rights implications, but Jesus Christ, maybe instead of targeting sex workers out of the vague perception that trafficking could be happening, the government ought to be going after people who have proven to produce violent offenders and create a breeding ground for them. Because this shit is fucking terrifying. And it’s only a matter of time someone is arrested for raping a young girl and cites inceldom as his motivation, as all their violent “heroes” have. It needs cracking down on. It’s actively harmful. Terrifyingly harmful, at that.
Ah, but there’s no such thing as rape culture.
Is he sure that’s right?
I though AOC meant something different.
I think the only gif that expresses how this makes me feel is the one from the pie-eating scene in Stand By Me.
I’m a strait cisgender dude so my experience might be limited, but I have never, ever, EVER heard any women talk about dick size or care about dick size. It seems to me that the only demographic that seems to care about dick size are a subset of incredibly insecure men and as Simone de Beauvoir said: “nothing is more vicious and contemptful of women then a man insecure about his own virility”.
@jsrtheta:
WE MUST RECLAIM THE ACRONYM FROM THE SJWS! SJWS MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE ANYTHING! WE MUST FIND A WAY TO LINK AOC THE CONGRESSWOMAN TO PEDOPHILIA! AOC EATS PIZZA SOMETIMES, CLEARLY SHE’S LINKED TO A CHILD MOLESTER RING!!! SHE WAS HAVING PEDO ORGIES WITH HILLARY!!! HILLARY PROBABLY MOLESTED HER AT A PIZZA PARLOR AND TURNED HER SOCIALIST THAT WAY!!!
Also, I should be allowed to have sex with a 12 year-old. But that doesn’t make me a pedo! Because if I were a pedo that would make me a pizza-eating socialist! And we all know that socialists want to redistribute everything, and females are things that ought to be redistributed to those who need sex! Each incel according to his sexual needs! Wait, didn’t Lenin say that? NOOOOOO! Not a socialist not a socialist, not a…
Note: this post contains multiple levels of sarcasm.
Also, I almost wish Walter hadn’t been banned. I would treasure his thoughts on this.
Brb calling Child Protection Services on them.
I propose a different system. The age of consent remains as it is, except for people who identify as incels and regularly post on incel forums. Age of consent will be the standard age plus 150 years for anyone who is targeted by self-identified incels, in order to protect those who may be harmed by coming into contact with such noxious persons.
I’m facepalming so hard right now my neighbors can feel the shockwave.
OT: Has anyone else seen this? If you thought the “You don’t mean vulva, you mean vagina” guy was the epitome of mansplaining, someone has decided to challenge him for the title: https://www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2019/mar/06/how-many-tampons-do-you-need-this-man-will-explain
Early in my career I worked as an application engineer for the sales department of a small company. There were 3 of us in the group, a 25 year old manager (a born again Christian), a 25 year old me (an atheist since birth), and a 17 year old high school work experience dog’s body {raging hormones}. The manager was always referring to his girlfriend as “*****rotten crotch. I can’t even…. The topper came one day when the dog’s body was bragging about his conquests among the girls at his school and the manager made the statement “Well I like to think that if I weren’t a good Christian I’d be out there getting my share of the girls” One, would a good Christian like to think that? Two, who, the mayonnaise on French fries, ever said that your existence entitled you to any female companion, much less a “share”? These troglodytes have always been around but the net has made them worse.
I need that Spider Man meme that says, “I’ll go away, and come back when there’s less weird shit.”
That largely tallies with my own experience, to which I’ll add that two partners of mine have reminisced less than fondly about having to deal with the reality of an excessively large penis, which turned out to be about a gazillion miles removed from the fantasy.
I once saw a porn film in which a ludicrously over-endowed man had to use his hand as a spacer to make sure that he didn’t penetrate his partner too deeply. It just looked incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for both parties, and that was in the context of something that was trying (albeit failing) to come across as erotic.
I wish we had a Font of Sarcasm here so you all would properly appreciate the tone in which I write “I can’t *wait* for Walter to chime in on this one.”
@Rabid Rabbit
OMG Period Guy!
I give him +2 points for trying to do math and not totally failing at *the math* portion of it. However, he gets negative infinity points for real world applications.
Because, dude, it doesn’t matter if your 5 ml absorbent magic tampon can hold 5 mls… for health reasons they really, really ought to be swapped out pretty frequently because women tend to not like DYING OF TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME which can be caused by little things like LEAVING THE STINKING TAMPON IN UNTIL IT REACHES ABSOLUTE OPTIMUM MONEY SAVING SATURATION.
Also, you know, some women can’t use tampons. Like, they just can’t.
@Thread, yelling at the off topic fun thing, because I’m a little too creeped out and horrified to deal with the actual article topic. Like, this dude needs to NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER be around children, EVER.
Also, I’ve been doing thermal systems homework for 5 hours and am super tired, so all caps is a thing?
@contrapangloss
I’d love to know Period Guy’s philosophy on best-before dates. Does he agree that something that’s best before 13/04/2019 won’t automatically kill you one minute past midnight on 14/04/2019, or does he start getting icked out at the thought of eating it a month before then?
It’s unfair of me, I’m sure, but for some reason I’m assuming the latter.
(It’s late and I’m tired and mildly inebriated, so the link between the two may not be as clear to everyone as it is in my head. Apologies if this makes no sense.)
Ok… why are these people not on watch-lists? I mean… this isn’t funny anymore! They literally reduce women to vaginal circumference modifiers! (Points for whoever gets that reference). This isn’t about “Age of Consent”, it’s about “Age of having a sex toy that I can hit when it dares to have an opinion”.
Really? How long has the subreddit even been running? Wasn’t it created just a couple years ago when Reddit was playing Whack-a-mole with hate groups?
I imagine if you’re both incel and genuinely insecure about your penis size, you might too self-centered/intellectually lazy to consider that other people generally have no way of actually knowing your penis size. This is a fairly common intellectual failing.
That is, unless you’re the kind of guy who uses penis size report as a regular pickup line. But then, you probably wouldn’t do that if you felt genuinely insecure?
Then again, incels seem to also often believe that having a large dick correlates with being a “Chad” (or even more so “Tyrone”), so women can easily guess your penis size from your general outlook. Obviously, with the help of porn most incels can easily convince themselves that their own dick is below average, and any incel who actually has a huge dick wouldn’t dare mention it to other incels because they hate anything that disrupts the narrative.
As for ridicule, it seems to be incels’ dramatic way of expressing their chronic sense of betrayal because they aren’t being sufficiently socially validated – with sexual pleasure, love, admiration, respect, friendliness, attention. With this language, incels are convincing themselves and each other that a random woman on street not smiling at you is as bad as literal ridicule or disgust.