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By David Futrelle
Angry superhero movie fans have discovered what they see as a deeply unsettling fact about the lead actress in the Captain Marvel film that hits theaters this Friday, whom they have collectively decided to hate because she thinks people other than white men should have some say in movie criticism, or something: Brie Larson’s first name is the same as the name of a popular French cheese!
Apparently this is all the more reason to hate her.
Oh, but it gets worse: Some of them have given her unflattering cheese-based nicknames!
Not only that, but the cheese in question is RUNNY!
The dudes with NPC avatars are on the case:
This fellow is struck by the irony that the cheese in question is WHITE.
I was a little concerned that Mr Solo’s burn (below) wasn’t quite sick enough. But then I saw the crying-laughing emoji. BAM!
Then this bad boy with an Elon Musk wearing an eyepatch avatar kicked it up another notch by adding a thumbs-up emoji after the laughing-crying one. DOUBLE BAM!
And get this: Some of Brie’s critics don’t even bother to use her first name — they just call her “Cheese Larson!” TRIPLE BAM! Fourth graders have nothing on these insult-slingers!
Damn, the crazy cheese lady is also a “Matriarchy Bot?” Wouldn’t the runny cheese gum up the gears?
I guess I probably shouldn’t try to think these through too much. Clearly the people posting them didn’t.
Regardless, it’s not clear to me if “Cheese” Larson will ever be able to recover from these devastating burns.
@Jack
False. Captain Marvel is canonically a woman. They actually prettied her up in by casting Larson. Based on her credentials and story line, she should be a kick-butt middle age woman.
Adults must be dour and serious at all times. /s
Most comic books are NOT written for kids. They’re written for and targeted to adults between 25 and 44 (I’m also finding 27 to 36, depending on the publisher and survey).
Why? There are a lot of comics that are formulaic drek, but others are pretty good, with tight story telling and gorgeous illustration. There’s been pulp writing and comics published since the 1890’s, so saying it’s a sign of contemporary degeneracy is inaccurate.
The superhero one is my favorite, though I can’t tell my favorite joke about it without giving it away.
Lainy:
May I just say that I LOVE the idea of Sam L. Jackson talking the pope’s pants off! Not in a sexual way, just–Samuel L. Jackson can obviously do ANYTHING he sets his mind to.
@Fabe:
I always feel a bit bad for Wertham. He messed up completely with Seduction of the Innocent, not least with how he manipulated his data, and so it overshadows everything else he did, most of which was hugely commendable.
For instance, opening the Lafargue Clinic to provide low-cost psychiatric treatment to poor black people in New York, especially black teens. How many people know that Wertham’s research on the psychological effects of racial segregation was cited in Brown vs. Board of Education, for instance?
Plus, he did eventually start looking into the positive effects of comics fandom.
@ Curious_Diversions:
You’ve ignored the most important and appropriate reason for banning/promoting ANYTHING…
“BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE/LIKE IT!!”
Have you guys ever tried brie on crackers with a smidge of mango chutney? Beyond delicious.
Very clever. boys. Nobody ever noticed that before, I’m sure. I noticed it when a certain high-class mouse moved in to my village. But how does that invalidate her position?
I’ve engaged in a bit of name-calling myself. It can be cathartic when dealing with someone you don’t like, but you’ll need more than that to make a cogent argument. The fact that you’re clinging to this and offering little else just shows that you don’t have a cogent argument. Aren’t you guys supposed to be the logical, rational ones? Shouldn’t you know better than to engage in an ad honimem argument like that?
@moregeekthan:
Oo! Oo! I can’t wait to hear that joke!
@TB Tabby:
Bear in mind that they think “ad hominem” means “an SJW said something mean to me!”
@Crip Dyke
I’m guessing the second one is Beowulf.
10 points to Myoo.
Curious_Diversions
To paraphrase Sturgeon, 90% of comics are crap. But only because 90% of everything is crap.
@Crip Dyke: Is the first one Aristophanes’ The Frogs? I think that’s what the “Brekekekek-koax-koax” is from.
+10 to Cat Mara
@Dalillama:
Exactly.
You know, I’m going to concede that they shouldn’t have used Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel, they absolutely should have used a classic character that held the mantle for years.
I of course am referring to Monica Rambeau, who was Captain Marvel AND a black woman back in 1982, so the only argument about forced diversity would be from whiny pissbabies and fake geek boys who don’t know their comic history.
I’ll bite. Taming of the Shrew. The quote in question is:
Although this Cracked article references a book that says “tail” is slang for “vulva”.
Hypocritical of the State Department to pressure diplomats in NYC to pay their back tickets while not paying the London congestion charge, but not of the NYPD to enforce parking ordinances, surely.
@Rabid Rabbit
I was not aware of that,interesting. I just know him as guy who went on a crusade against comics . Nice to know he did some good to help end racial segregation as well as possibly change his mind about comics
@ teabug
A wedge of Brie and a whole bottle of Moscatel de Valencia. Nice way to pass an evening in front of the haunted fishtank. Not a good idea, but still fun.
The early reaction to Captain Marvel has been kind of interesting. I’ve been seeing some very lukewarm reviews from many of my favorite critics, but Rotten Tomatoes has Captain Marvel at 84% fresh. Maybe it’s like the first two Thor movies: superficially impressive crowd-pleasers that fall apart when you think about them too much.
+ 10 for Ariblester.
also,
That’s how I understood the statement.
The bit about tail/vulva is also interesting. But surely the correct term is vagina.
Yeah, Ghostbusters 2016 failed so hard that it made 229.1 million dollars at box office, 85.1 million dollars more than its budget (144 million). Definitely an expensive fail. ?
Hey Jack, would it annoy you if I told you that I’m going to go see this specifically because of your lot’s whining? Because I am.
Oh, that one was The Taming of the Shrew? I was thinking it was, but I didn’t remember anything about crossdressing in the plot. Now I realize that was a reference to the actual practices of the theater at the time and not the plot of the play itself.
@Crip Dyke
Also, sorry for the doublepost, the first post isn’t showing up for me to edit right now. I suppose the second reference is to Beowulf?