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Captain Marvel haters’ devastating new takedown of Brie Larson: “She’s named after a cheese”

The existence of this cheese proves that Brie Larson is a terrible actress, somehow

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By David Futrelle

Angry superhero movie fans have discovered what they see as a deeply unsettling fact about the lead actress in the Captain Marvel film that hits theaters this Friday, whom they have collectively decided to hate because she thinks people other than white men should have some say in movie criticism, or something: Brie Larson’s first name is the same as the name of a popular French cheese!

Apparently this is all the more reason to hate her.

Eric B
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@Eric_Belleau
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@brielarson is an insufferable cunt. A below average actress at best named after a cheese.

Oh, but it gets worse: Some of them have given her unflattering cheese-based nicknames!

J.C. (the Creature) remembers Stan Lee
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@TheCreatureHero
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Replying to @rizzydraws
Yeah. Brie Larson is scum. I like to call her "crazy cheese woman" because her first name is actually also the name of a type of cheese

Not only that, but the cheese in question is RUNNY!

patricia stewart
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@beesknees1960
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Replying to @RubinReport
And who can take a girl named after runny french cheese seriously? @brielarson just another SJW wannabe. stifle yourself birdbrain!

The dudes with NPC avatars are on the case:

Mark ™️
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@PUR3FILTH
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Replying to @JoeNumbas
Brie Larson is so unlikeable, I’d take Brie Bella over her.. heck I’d take the cheese Brie over her

This fellow is struck by the irony that the cheese in question is WHITE.

Arqahn
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@Arqahn
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Replying to @MarvelStudios
Brie Larson (white woman named after white cheese) worried about too many white men involved with the movie publicity tour. In keeping with her wishes I hope white people boycott this movie.   
#boycott 
#WhitePrivilege

I was a little concerned that Mr Solo’s burn (below) wasn’t quite sick enough. But then I saw the crying-laughing emoji. BAM!

Dan Solo
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Replying to @RuinTheManbaby @brielarson
She is no star. She is a cheese

Then this bad boy with an Elon Musk wearing an eyepatch avatar kicked it up another notch by adding a thumbs-up emoji after the laughing-crying one. DOUBLE BAM!

Jon Brovi
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@tokemonbro
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Brie Larson is no Gal Gadot. Brie has the charisma and charm of mouldy french cheese. Hence the name

And get this: Some of Brie’s critics don’t even bother to use her first name — they just call her “Cheese Larson!” TRIPLE BAM! Fourth graders have nothing on these insult-slingers!

(((Val Washington)))
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@ValeriaPugliesi
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Replying to @JackPosobiec
MARVEL WAS FULLY CREATED BY WHITE MALES: Stan Lee being the greatest if them all. Blonde Cheese Larson wouldn't have thus gig if a white male at Marvel hadn't approve this stupid cross dressed Captain Marvel. Why can't she be humble and thankful for the opportunity?
#stanlee
Noway Neophobic "Jeremy" loves Alita Battleangel
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@nowayneophobic
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Replying to @MrGournalist @desert_starr_57
I love WW. Shes an AWESOME Character. Like Alita.

But not this Matriarchy Bot Cheese Larson.

Damn, the crazy cheese lady is also a “Matriarchy Bot?” Wouldn’t the runny cheese gum up the gears?

I guess I probably shouldn’t try to think these through too much. Clearly the people posting them didn’t.

Regardless, it’s not clear to me if “Cheese” Larson will ever be able to recover from these devastating burns.

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I guess this means we can also discount the opinions of anyone named Jack. Hear that, Contract Jack? Your opinions are invalid because Jack cheese is so boring if you don’t add peppers to it.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

The name Brie is right out of Central Casting for offending right wingers. It just oozes coastal elitism. I love it.

Looking forward to more franchise reboots starring Chardonnay “Prius” Smith and Mother Jones Subscription Jones.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
5 years ago

@Knitting Cat Lady:

And then there is the actress with the first name ‘Mädchen’. I hope she never goes to Germany…

In a like vein, “Colleen” is a popular woman’s name among Irish-Americans that is almost never heard in Ireland because it is just an anglicised form of the Irish word for “girl”, cailín. In fact, it sounds really weird to hear someone being called “Colleen” to me because it makes the speaker sound like some dowager countess off a Downton Abbey-esque show¹ dressing down a serving maid for leaving the piano legs indecently exposed or something. “You, girl! Frightful impertinence! With the vicar coming to tea!”

¹ Or, alternatively, given the American context, a suitably whitewashed historical show set in the antebellum South

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

@Simon:

Can’t bear the cinema. (People, eat dinner then go to the movies. Homestly, I would pay extra for a no food showing.)

I’ve got out of the habit of cinema-going in recent years, but I’m trying to go at least a couple of times a month this year. There are films which really benefit, whether it’s the big screen, the ridiculous sound system, or (for a comedy) just the pleasure of an auditorium full of people laughing in all the right places. And I suppose it still feels like a “treat”, while watching Netflix at home doesn’t.

That said, I suppose I have “big city” privilege: a large number of venues to choose from. It might be different if I lived out in the sticks, with only one cinema in easy reach.

If I wanted to see Captain Marvel, I would probably wait a while. For example, I saw Alita about three weeks after release, and so there were probably less than ten people there (how does this make economic sense?). No problem with annoying people nearby when there’s so many empty seats.

Leliel
Leliel
5 years ago

Well, I sympathize with them.

Cheese is, after all, what they generally have instead of gray matter. Having an enemy with the name of a cheese has got to be confusing.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

If you’re going to make an enemy of cheese, at least let it be the kind with maggots in.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

Now, I hate change as much as the next guy… (especially pennies… I usually dump them in the “penny cup”…) but REALLY…. These people just like to grump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKfVgASlMLk

I’d like to see any of these cellar dwellers do THIS

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
5 years ago

Kat wrote:

So you’d be okay with her politics if she were named after a dry cheese from some other country?

I’m sure they’d be all sunshine and rainbows about it if Parmesan Larson were the lead….

(/s, obviously)

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Kat, Gaebolga;

If the lead were American, or at least English…

I mean, Cheddar Larson, while it does sound “cheesy,” is at very LEAST linguistically acceptable…. Obviously, American Larson would be best… (for a female, though she could be named Caviar and Champagne Larson and she would still be a WOMAN!!!)

Ariblester
Ariblester
5 years ago

All this talk about cheesy names reminds me of Lounge Against The Machine.

Malitia
Malitia
5 years ago

I feel I need to share today’s WTF with you:

https://twitter.com/ComicsCrowdfund/status/1103287768485113856
comment image

Is this “meme” (posted by a comicsgater) seriously arguing that women shouldn’t go to see Captain Marvel because there is no ethical consumption under capitalism?! O.o

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Malitia:

(/s) well, I’m a white man, so I’m gonna go see it. SUPPORT MY PEEPS!!!

Seriously, Anita Sarkeesian argued in the Tropes vs Women series that a lot of the media we consume is problematic. We can still love it even though it has problematic elements, and even though our consumption of it benefits problematic groups…. We have to be aware of the problematic elements, NOT love the problematic elements, and speak about these elements and why they’re problematic. That’s how we change it.

Societies change over generations, but they don’t do so spontaneously. They change because PEOPLE change them. People demand better and speak out when there is oppression.

re: comicsgate;

Comics artist Ethan Van Sciver presents it as “a consumer-led revolt” against liberalism in the industry and “part of the culture-war”.[4][5] Artist Mike S. Miller describes it as “an alliance of comic book fans, critics, and creators who have found common cause in standing up against what they see as a hard push by social justice warriors into their hobby”

“… their hobby”???

Katamount
Katamount
5 years ago

Okay, okay, first off, I don’t think these guys were all that big on Wonder Woman when it hit theaters in 2017. Secondly, I don’t think these guys hiding behind avatars and noms de douche get to make fun of a name as unremarkable as “Brie,” especially as it’s almost a requirement that a right-wing dillhole has a name that is an onomatopoeia. Just look at the CPAC roster: it was Matt Schlapps and Trump Juniors all the way down. Take it from a guy whose real name is almost as long and German as “Schwarzenegger,” “Brie” is normie stuff.

But more to the point: these collective rage-gasms targeted at very specific people are… odd in their practically mercurial nature. I mean, what kind of short attention span or collective forgettery is necessary to leap from target to target, spam any mention, then completely abandon it for the next target or reverse your opinion completely just to use as a cudgel against the latest target? It takes some next-level mental gymnastics to operate that way and it can’t be healthy to swim in those kind of rage-waters for long.

Contract JACK
Contract JACK
5 years ago

The Captain Marvel movie is a foolish experiment in forced diversity, and it will fail worse and more expensive than Girl Ghostbusters.

However, grown men paying billions of dollars to see childish comic books made into movies is even more foolish and shows how far American society has fallen. Comic books should have been outlawed as the degenerate art form they are.

Malitia
Malitia
5 years ago

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie wrote on
March 6, 2019 at 9:00 am:

@ Malitia:

re: comicsgate;

Comics artist Ethan Van Sciver presents it as “a consumer-led revolt” against liberalism in the industry and “part of the culture-war”.[4][5] Artist Mike S. Miller describes it as “an alliance of comic book fans, critics, and creators who have found common cause in standing up against what they see as a hard push by social justice warriors into their hobby”

I would describe it as twitter drama.

Or more specifically manufactured outrage by some right-wing grifters to hurt people they don’t like, and sell overpriced shit. (Both Miller and Ethan crowdfunded comics on the back of this and Ethan’s is 4 months late by now. He also has a monetized Youtube channel where he procrastinates.)

“… their hobby”???

Everything belongs to cishet christian white dudes! And their token friends can get some scraps too. /s

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Malitia;

Everything belongs to cishet christian white dudes! And their token friends can get some scraps too.

A majority group who literally control 100% of everything, yet still paint themselves as an abused and oppressed minority… talk about victim complex….

The sum total of the ” ‘gaters” effect on the success of media seems to be minimal. I can’t speak for the gamer end, because I don’t game and I never looked at their effect on game sales. The movies, e.g. Fury Road, GhostBuster reboot, did ok without the white whiner audience. What they lost in MRA pouting they made up in “SJWs” who wouldn’t have seen them without the publicity the gators generated.

Wonder Woman is the highest grossing Origin movie of all time. Star Wars had way more than enough fan power to overcome the “baby-boycott”.

Conics sales are down and have been dropping for decades, and (IMHO) the diversity and inclusion of late has probably helped, regardless of the whiny wing’s complaints.

They are noisy, to be sure, and they are dangerous, but they aren’t very effective.

Specialffrog
Specialffrog
5 years ago

Contract Jack: weren’t you all about freedom of speech the other day? Now you want to ban “degenerate art”.

And while I think it unlikely, Captain Marvel could be a financial failure. So what? Lots of expensive movies centred on men have failed. What does that mean?

Gender Superposition
Gender Superposition
5 years ago

The right: the left cannot meme

Also the right: do you get it??? Her name is a CHEESE do you get it?

Also, the right, still somehow: did the NPC just assume my attack helicopter’s gender?

Edit: I am degenerate art and I will not be suppressed.

Fabe
Fabe
5 years ago

Oh look ,Contact Jack is apparently Anti-comic psychiatris Fredric Wertham reincarnated .

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

Wow Contract Jack showing his true colors in ever thread. Anything Jack doesn’t like gets ban. Just decided my outfit for today Jack, Marvel t-shirt along with skin tight leggins, Enjoy Sugar.

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

Why do you guys want to interact with what is probably a very small shell script?

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
5 years ago

Dogwhistle! Nazi dogwhistle in Aisle 3!

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
5 years ago

Well, at least he’s stopped claiming that his imaginary posts aren’t showing up. You know, the ones with his “irrefutable” arguments.

…that still cracks me up. JACK is delusional comedy gold!

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

To be honest one of the big reason I want to see Captain Marvel is I want to see her Cat goose and I was to know how Nick Fury lost his eye. my money is on she punched him or something. They can change it from how it was in the comics. Hell it could be completely different from hos classic white Nick Fury lost his. Sam L Jackson is perfect for the role though. He’s one of my favorites. That man could talk the pants off the pope if he wanted to.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

It’s a good day for wearing my Wonder Woman shirt. Need to see about getting a Captain Marvel shirt later on.