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By David Futrelle
Angry superhero movie fans have discovered what they see as a deeply unsettling fact about the lead actress in the Captain Marvel film that hits theaters this Friday, whom they have collectively decided to hate because she thinks people other than white men should have some say in movie criticism, or something: Brie Larson’s first name is the same as the name of a popular French cheese!
Apparently this is all the more reason to hate her.
Oh, but it gets worse: Some of them have given her unflattering cheese-based nicknames!
Not only that, but the cheese in question is RUNNY!
The dudes with NPC avatars are on the case:
This fellow is struck by the irony that the cheese in question is WHITE.
I was a little concerned that Mr Solo’s burn (below) wasn’t quite sick enough. But then I saw the crying-laughing emoji. BAM!
Then this bad boy with an Elon Musk wearing an eyepatch avatar kicked it up another notch by adding a thumbs-up emoji after the laughing-crying one. DOUBLE BAM!
And get this: Some of Brie’s critics don’t even bother to use her first name — they just call her “Cheese Larson!” TRIPLE BAM! Fourth graders have nothing on these insult-slingers!
Damn, the crazy cheese lady is also a “Matriarchy Bot?” Wouldn’t the runny cheese gum up the gears?
I guess I probably shouldn’t try to think these through too much. Clearly the people posting them didn’t.
Regardless, it’s not clear to me if “Cheese” Larson will ever be able to recover from these devastating burns.