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By David Futrelle
Manosphere dinguses — from pickup artists to incels — often lament that dating apps and social media in general give straight women an unfair advantage in the so-called sexual marketplace, because women get so much male attention that they start to think they’re too good for ordinary men.
Pickup artists complain that the sexual marketplace today has changed irrevocably since the good old days of only a few years ago, when peacocking PUAs could (allegedly) walk into any nightclub and walk out with an HB7 or higher, no problem.
But one Man Going His Own Way called Byron doesn’t think the good old days were that great either. In a post on the MGTOW.com forums a couple of years back — presumably when women were less stuck-up than they allegedly are today — he declared that nightclubs were and are “hellish domains of pussy power.”
After reflecting on “all my personal experiences of literally thousands of times I went clubbing” he came up with five reasons why.
First, he declared, clubs put too much emphasis on personal appearance — which naturally gives ladies an advantage.
Outer appearance is what strongly defines female sexual market value. In the clubs women are actually always displaying their maximum sexual market value. Most of the females even peak above their usual value by using sexy make-up, clothing, and utilizing the darkened atmosphere in the clubs to hide numerous physical imperfections.
Damn those ladies and their diabolical strategy of looking their best when they go out!
And while young females circle around full and mighty.. drunk by their own sexual value and egocentrism, men are left feeling a combination of: low sexual market value (since they can’t display even 30% of it), horny and blue-balled, and most of the time flat out disappointed after no “godly female” decided to give them attention.
Yes, women are so lucky that they can get the attention of every creepy dude in the club.
Also, clubs play music so darm loud!
Loud music supports the emphasis on external appearances and female sexual market value. You can not have any normal conversations in clubs, hell even basic conversations are difficult.
Evidently women thrive in environments where no one can understand what anyone else is saying.
Dumber than a rock females circle around as if they are the earth’s greatest creation, conveniently hiding their ugly lack of intellect and bird-brains behind the loud music.
Unlike poor Byron here, who displays his bird-brain every time he opens his mouth (or posts a post on MGTOW.com).
And get this: Dance clubs also tend to have dancing going on in them.
That’s right, one more supportive feature aimed at displaying female sexual value in its fullest. Females get to draw further attention by utilizing succubus movements.
Um, succubus movements? I thought MGTOWs were into succubi now.
In any case, I think you’re only going to get the succubus dancing on Goth Night, anyway.
Whoops, wrong gif!
Ah, much better.
Byron continues, pointing out the shocking fact that nightclubs also serve booze, which evidently transforms men into blithering idiots ripe for exploitation by devious ugly ladies.
The more drunk you are the better for the females.
I’m pretty sure there is no woman on earth who would agree with this sentiment. Unless she’s an old-timey street ruffian hoping to make a few shillings rolling drunks.
You tend to be hazy in your thinking, frequently falling a notch down on analytical and logical capabilities.
Sorry to be blunt here, Byron, but with you, how would anyone even tell?
That brings men a level down from their actual sexual market value and feminizes them a bit in the sense of slightly impaired rationality.
That … is not what “feminize” means. Because if it did, MGTOWs would be some of the most feminized creatures on planet earth.
This is ideal for females and additionally opens men to all kinds of silly and flat manipulations dumber females couldn’t possibly pull off under normal circumstances.
Poor drunk dudes, lured into hitting on women by the devious female strategy of being in the same general area as the aforementioned drunk dudes.
Not only that, but there are “numerous other little details” that make clubs perfect for women.
Numerous other little details in the way clubs operate that remind men that women are considered more important. This is pure brainwashing at this point. Stuff like: free passes for women, free drinks for women, free tables for women, women waiting for men to buy them drinks (sacrifice your [balls] and dignity at the pussy alter), etc.
You can tell just how much better clubs are for women than for men by the fact that these clubs sometimes have to offer free admission to women to get any of them to actually show up, while men are willing to pay money to go to a place where there might be women.
Clubs are the epiphany of appearance over substance.
No, an epiphany is when you suddenly realize that Byron is such an idiot he doesn’t know the difference between “epiphany” and “epitome.”
It’s no wonder women love clubbing all day and all night. Too bad we’re no longer playing by their rules.
Dude, I doubt any women on earth — aside from those reading this post now — are even aware that you’re “not playing by their rules” any more. And I rather doubt any of them would react to this news with anything other than a small sigh of relief.
Anyone here got a Reddit account? This needs to be on /r/IAmVerySmart stat.
Oh, wait, don’t worry, someone already has: https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart/comments/axnrd3/women_are_dumb_and_offer_nothing_else_but_sex/
“Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed”
You see, this is why that cheese never needs to be near me
@ContractJack
Before I woke up this morning, I would have said 1) nuclear war, 2) hobo spiders, and 3) being tricked into committing cannibalism*. Nowadays it’s 1) maggot cheese, 2) maggot cheese, and 3) maggot cheese, with an honorable mention to hobo spiders.
*Thanks loads, Upton Sinclair.
Is anyone else afraid of sloths or is that just me?
Is this satire or…?
From Cat Mara’s link
Oh, great, someone brought up the maggot cheese. Now I’m going to bring up my tea.
Things I am afraid of: people in general, crowds, being homeless, my parents dying, dying before I finish my novels in progress,
On the actual subject of the post: I hate clubs. Really loud, crowds, no conversation, too expensive, sticky floors, dodgy loos, no quiet place for me to sit and read, the need to give up my coat or wear weather inappropriate clothing. Nope. So much nope. Aren’t you supposed to go to those places to have fun? If it’s not fun, don’t go. It’s that simple, “Byron”.
I thought of another thing I’m scared of. Those fish that can swim up a penis if your not wearing really tight trunks in certain parts of the world.
@Lainy
SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP THE CANDIRU. I don’t have a penis and I’m still scared of ’em.
I’m also terrified of the parasite that eats and replaces a fish’s tongue. And pinworms. And leeches. And starfish, but only when they’re regrowing arms. And Blinky the Fish.
…I’m kind of a weenie, aren’t I.
@S.P
I will get on the back of a several hundred pound animal that could kill me with its legs in one hit but I will not get in the ocean. I don’t care which ocean I will not get into it. I will stay on the beach, soak up some sun and maybe go a few feet in it from the shore but I will not go out and swim in the ocean. You could not pay me money to do that. My fiancé took me to a nude beach for our first year together a while back and he quickly found out my fear of ocean creatures.
Though the time before that when I went to a beach a bunch of whales beached themselves and that was horrible. We were like the only ones there and I was with my older brother and we were like “hey that looks like a whale, that can’t be a whale, oh my god it’s a whale, oh my god it’s caught in the tide, no no! Call someone we need to get them back into the water” it really became a traumatic vacation.
@Lainy, re: sloths
Not to speak for anyone else, but I guess I’m going to when I say I’m pretty sure it’s just you. After all, you should be able to outrun a sloth, even on a broken ankle while wearing high heels.
Of course, fears aren’t rational, so I’m not trying to sloth-shame you, but I don’t think it’s going to be a particularly common fear.
My daughter will be devastated, though; she loves sloths. We even have a pool game called Back Sloth, so there’s that….
Let me be helpful here and say that the tales of Candiru swimming up a stream of piss to lodge in the urethra are fanciful tales. Although they might swim up ones plumbing if one is pissing pantless in the Amazon, regardless of penissitude.
Umm, I didn’t actually help, did I?
(There’s just about exactly one tale of candiru-human interaction, so far as I’ve seen, but it’s real and at least one more than the lobster story, which makes the fear reasonable at least.)
@Gaebolga
If sloths could move faster they be humans extinction facture.
@Lainy
I still maintain that insects are humanity’s greatest macroscopic foe; it’s the big reason I’m so very pro-spider. Those most lethal footsoldiers in our never-ending war against the bugs deserve our respect, admiration, and probably a congressional medal or two…
@Feline
“What,” they said with increasing trepidation, “is the lobster story?”
@Lainy
I actually love the water, but I’m afraid of leeches (so lakes are out) and pool pee (so pools are out). Luckily I live in a place with a lot of rivers.
@Gaebolga, you sound like a survivor of Klendathu.
@Lainy
My large sea mammal encounter was much less upsetting, although a tad scary. My family were walking on the shelves of rock and gravel that mostly serve us for beaches here when we came over a rise and face to face with an enormous sea lion. He (probably) lifted his head and grumbled loudly at us, which we took as our cue to turn smartly around and walk the hell back the way we came.
Guinea worms are something that really frighten me. I know my chances of ever getting one are pretty much nonexistent. I think they’re even close to eradicated. But I read about in National Geographic when I was in a doctor’s waiting room when I was a kid, got scared, and the feeling had stayed with me.
Closer to home, I’m very frightened of centipedes.
@Moggie
Yeah, I always wanted to be a member of Rico’s Raiders.
Fun geek note, when I first heard the title for Jhonen Vasquez’s Nickelodeon kid’s show, my immediate thought was that it was about the drill sergeant in Starship Troopers. (I’m still wondering what mad genius or subversive agitator got the idea of getting Vasquez to create a children’s show. On Nickelodeon. Thank you, nameless hero!)
@S. P.
Oh, merely one of those bits of Internet ephemera that was Snopes’ bread and butter before American politics made them a fact-checking agency.
DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK! NO JOKING! NOT A JOKING TVTROPES LINK! NOT JOKING AT ALL!
*pause*
I regret, for your sake, that you chose to click on that link.
That cheese! I read the wiki excerpt out loud to Mr. Bookworm. He says that when he opens a café during the zombie apocalypse, that cheese will have to be on the menu.
@ Contract Jack, I guess I’m mostly scared of missing important deadlines.
@kupo: Where that place is concerned, Poe’s Law can most certainly be said to be in force…
I fear waking up blind. Total terror when I open my eyes and they don’t adjust quickly enough.
Thank you so much Christian magazine that tells 6 year old me the story of a women waking up blind because it was just “Gods will.” I keep waiting for his will to catch up to me and fuck up my world because I like to see.
I am also afraid of monsters living in the closet. Those fuckers are scary.
@ Feline
I skipped the story and just read Snopes’ comments on it, but I think I gathered what supposedly happened well enough. And ugh ugh ugh ugh OH GOD. Not the idea that it’s real–it’s pretty obviously fake– but the fact that some two-bit Chuck Palahniuk thought this would be a worthy addition to the world of written literature.
(Aside: I completely forgot Palahniuk’s name and had to do some pretty bizarre searches to find it.)
I always sort of assumed that the cheese came about when some extremely poor people who had nothing to eat except moldy cheese received unexpected visitors and didn’t want to lose face. So they served up the magotty cheese, insisting it was a great delicacy and they were honoring their guests by letting them try it.