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Mansplainin’ 2: Electric Vulvaloo! The dude who had a Twitter meltdown over the word “vulva” is back

Let me explain it to you one more time

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By David Futrelle

Some guys can’t take a hint. Or even several thousand hints.

Remember the dude who, only a few short weeks ago, had a Twitter meltdown after trying to “correct” a world-famous vagina expert on the proper use of the words “vulva” and “vagina” — a meltdown so epic that the folks at Dictionary.com felt compelled to step in to tell him that he was wrong?

Well, he’s back, and back on his bullshit again. Yesterday he popped up on Twitter, defiant as ever, with a 20-page (single-spaced) manifesto explaining why he was right all along.

The new tweet caused thousands of Tweeters to let out a sigh that could be heard around the world, and generated a truly astounding ratio: the last I checked, the tweet had more than 2000 replies — mostly from people telling him he’s wrong — and only eight retweets.

To refresh your memory on the original controversy. Bullen took issue with the word “vulva” being used in the headline of a Guardian article about a book of photographs of women’s, well, vulvas; he insisted that the “correct” word in this instance was “vagina.” When gynecologist Jen Gunter, author of the forthcoming book The Vagina Bible, reminded him that the word “vagina” refers to the inside stuff and “vulva” to the outside stuff, Bullen essentially suggested she was being a word snob because most people use the word vagina, informally, to mean that whole thing down there.

That’s certainly true. But he didn’t just say, hey, why not use the word vagina here since that’s the one people use colloquially to refer to both the vulva and the vagina. Instead, he insisted that the article’s correct use of the word vulva was incorrect.

And that’s what he does again in his new manifesto, in an even more convoluted manner.

“My opening gambit was to say ‘The correct word is vagina’ in response to a use of the word vulva where one normally would expect to see the word vagina,” he wrote.

I wasn’t denying that the things that we could see in the photos were technically called vulvas or parts of vulvas. I was claiming that the use of the word ‘vulva’ was solecistic in this non-technical context—although it I assumed it was intentionally so. And it may well no longer be a soleciscistic  in certain circles.

In case you’re wondering, here’s the definition of solecism from Merriam-Webster:

Definition of solecism
1 : an ungrammatical combination of words in a sentence
also : a minor blunder in speech
2 : something deviating from the proper, normal, or accepted order
3 : a breach of etiquette or decorum

So, yeah, he’s using this word incorrectly. There’s nothing ungrammatical, deviant, or even impolite about using the word vulva to refer to, well, a vulva. He continues on:

My general starting point is that the English language has evolved in ways that give some words both narrow and broad meanings. … One example of such words is vagina. Everyone knows it is used in two ways: (1) most commonly to refer to the female genitals in general and (2) to refer to one particular part of them. My position is that not only is this a descriptive fact about English language use, but that this descriptive fact determines correct use. Correct use here simply means that people will know what you are talking about and you won’t sound strange.

In other words, he”s insisting once again that using the actual dictionary definitions of “vulva” and “vagina” is “incorrect usage” because it “sound[s] strange.”

Then he takes aim at people like Dr. Gunter who use the dictionary definitions of these words because, in his mind, this is a violation of “standard usage.”

Just as people sometimes violate the law to bring about a revolution, people sometimes violate standard usage as part of a attempt to change usage. But these people are speaking “incorrectly” (coming across as solecistic) for the sake of making a change.

Again, the “change” Gunter and others are trying to make is to get people to use the words “vulva” and “vagina” correctly. But to Bullen this makes them incorrect:

That is where the issue should have been—whether there is sufficient reason to violate existing practice. … So there is a small number of women who say “vulva” when one would expect “vagina” as they are convinced it is the “correct” term. That’s pretty much where the issue lies.

Of course, the “small number of women” who insist on saying “vulva” when Bullen would rather use “vagina” are “convinced it is the ‘correct’ term” because it is in fact the correct term, as defined in the dictionary. As the people at Dicitonary.com reminded him.

His real objection to using “vulva” seems to be that feminists are using the term and he doesn’t like that, or them.

“I often resist changes in the language that are being made for what I take to be the wrong reasons,” he declares. After citing a number of not-particularly relevant examples — like “English speaking Canadians … pronouncing Quebec the way the French speakers do. And … Americans … pronouncing Chile the way Spanish speakers do.” — he gets to his real objection: he hates what he sees as “politically correct” language. He offers no logical explanation for this other than to suggest that such language is excessively euphemistic.

I may be willing to go along with saying disabled person rather than handicapped person, I am not willing to say person with a disability rather than disabled person. I am not willing to say enslaved person rather than slave. I was willing to switch from the perfectly good word Negro to black, but I was not willing to move again from black to African American. And I am not willing to say undocumented immigrant rather than illegal alien. There is a general neurosis caused by activists who like to announce every few years that an existing usage is problematic and should be replaced by what they say.

Well, that’s your right, dude. But don;t be surprised if people call you out for being the jerk that you are.

Still, it would seem that feminists insisting on the correct usage of the words “vulva” and “vagina” — using them according to the literal dictionary definitions of each word — would be different than introducing a new term, like African-American instead of black. But nope! In Bullen’s mind it’s all part of the same “neurotic” impulse.

So when I see attempts to say “vulva” where normally “vagina” would be seen, I suspect ideological influences or bad thinking. … I don’t jump every time an ideological faction says jump. I got off the euphemism treadmill awhile ago.

If I may eschew euphemism myself for a moment, he’s essentially saying: fuck you, feminists, I won’t say “vulva” because you want me to — even if the dictionary itself backs you up.

Bullen goes on reiterating points he tried to make in the original thread — suggesting that Dr. Gunter’s vagina expertise doesn’t count because we’re dealing with words and not medical issues, and even mansplaining the term mansplaining, which he insists he wasn’t doing. But you’ll have to sort through that yourself, as I’ve gotten tired of this pompous fuckhead and his fractal wrongness.

Sorry, I forgot that I’m supposed to be on the “euphemism treadmill” again.

Speaking of which, there weren’t a lot of euphemisms in the Twitter response to Bullen’s new and decidedly not improved mansplaination. “Dude, give it a rest,” tweeted Dr. Gunter. “This is egregious long form mansplaining.”

Others were equally withering:

A weird mons to die on
Is that monsplaining?
The Sermon on the Mons?
I’ve never seen someone so blisteringly unwilling to just take the L
Have you ever considered, a hobby, for example
I think his hobby might actually be being wrong on the internet.
You are fabulous. You are not using the word "correct" correctly
VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA VULVA

It’s Stop O’Clock all right. At this point I can only conclude he’s keeping this going because he wants to get on Fox News as the latest brave man to stand up against the evil feminazi laguage police. But somehow I suspect that even the folks at Fox would find Billen’s long-form mansplaining a bit tiresome.

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Katy Preen
5 years ago

Amazingly, he also seems to have used the word ‘solecism’ totally ass-backwards as well. The gift that keeps on giving.

Tartaros
Tartaros
5 years ago

Oh my god check out his website:

http://paul.bullen.com/

Frederic Christie
5 years ago

@winterjaimes: Exactly. What makes his position even more untenable than it would be otherwise (which is that [i]in the best case[/i] he’s being a pedant, but in reality he’s being a pedant [i]who is wrong[/i] which should be a violation of the Geneva Conventions) is that the original article was about vulvas, full stop. The article writer, correctly, chose to use the word that was more specific. This had the result of educating on the issue while also narrowing the article down. Indeed, even dipshit’s own argument is a good reason why the choice was a solid one! By picking a piece of language that some people would find odd or unfamiliar, it made the headline more memorable and attention-grabbing. This was an instance where every single part of the choice was absolutely the correct one from the perspective of what the article wanted to accomplish. So it’s not just that he’s technically wrong but has a point in writing style or usage, he’s just wrong wrong wrong wrong.

@cornychips: I often say that someone can be dishonest even if they say nothing false or that they believed was a lie when they said it. This is an example. No one debating word choice will ever need to reach so low as to ask if people are feeling psychically mutilated from a different word choice. “We used the word that is appropriate for our style guide and for literally the article itself, because in this case [i]general was not appropriate and specific was[/i]” is not indicating psychic mutilation. People were roundly mocking him but no one was being mutilated by some dipshit who got his word wrong. He framed it that way so he could win the argument in his own head.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Regarding ‘black’, I’m reminded of the Venture Brothers character, Jefferson Twilight. He described his profession as ‘killing Blaculas’, and someone asked, ‘Uh, don’t you mean *African-American* vampires?’ No, he replied, he’s killed vampires in Britain and they don’t have African-Americans there.

Hetneo
Hetneo
5 years ago

Re the euphemism treadmill and the African-American vs black thingy, would asshats like this one refer to as black to someone who was born and raised in America to a WASP and Afrikaner couple, or any other white African? Seeing that he believes that those two are interchangeable terms, instead of intersecting.

@epitome of incomprehensibility
I can tell you that mons pubis is fatty tissue on top of the pubic bone, based on what I remember of high school anatomy. It is ending where the labia majora are starting, and it’s part of vulva. And both males and females have it, it’s just that females have it more pronounced.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 years ago

@Robert:
To get more pedantic, Britain very probably does have African-Americans at any given point in time, it’s just that they’re tourists or there on some other form of visa.

(Granted, probably fewer now. I suspect the Brexit mess is doing a number on the tourist industry as well.)

Wetherby
Wetherby
5 years ago

(Granted, probably fewer now. I suspect the Brexit mess is doing a number on the tourist industry as well.)

The counterintuitive answer may well be “more now”, if only because the pound has lost a fair amount of its value since June 2016, and so Britain is a much cheaper tourist destination today than it was prior to then.

Where Brexit is unquestionably damaging tourism is with regard to British tourists going abroad – unsurprisingly, because nobody knows what the hell is going to happen after March 29th, bookings for flights and package holidays after that date have fallen off a cliff. The upside is that there are some spectacular Easter-holiday bargains to be had right now as tour operators become increasingly desperate for any measurable business, but the downside is that they can’t guarantee that they’ll be able to deliver.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
5 years ago

Update: The know-nothing know-it-all(credit TV Tropes for originally coining the phrase) has taken his Twitter account private.

none
none
5 years ago

“Black people” is the most common terminology used in the US ime.
I personally mostly saw from white ppl.
A non-Black person saying “Blacks” comes off as racist, bc thats how racist white ppl talk.
White people like Bullen really shouldnt be talking about these terminologies in this way. Its so cringey that he took his moment in the spotlight to try to take little sneaky pot shots at Black people.

anon
anon
4 years ago

I know this is old but every Black person Ive ever met, read, or followed except a few academics in the early 00s use the term “Black” and will correct you, often teasing you, if you use “African American” which was a really briefly used term, the same way people with disabilities was only briefly used, usually by abled liberals (here meaning center-left) in the latter case and white liberals in the former.

I suppose it’s a bit like the word “Queer”. Just a little bit, mind you. Just in the sense that a small number of people object to it’s use for themselves but most of them still dont object if others use it.

I feel like it’s kinda sad this group is so white that this has been a conversation without much if any Black input. :/

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