By David Futrelle
So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.
As you might imagine, this often does not go very well for either person involved. Consider this “field report” posted to the MGTOW subreddit recently by one sex-having Redditor, which may just put you off food and/or sex forever.
“Had sex yesterday,” declared the MGTOW man who calls himself nowig.
Was a most disgusting, vile act.
i don’t know why i do this anymore. i really don’t.
None of us know why you do this. Aren’t you supposed to be going your own damn way?
the whole experience was traumatizing and disgusting. she was 26, around 5’2″ and petite.
That poor woman had no idea what she was in for.
making out on a park bench, i was careful to nibble around her mouth. there was something off-putting about her saliva maybe. a slight metallic aftertaste. this is true for the vast majority of girls though: i don’t like the taste.
I’m sure you taste utterly delicious yourself. Astringent, with a delicate aftertaste of bitterness and an entire life wasted.
getting back to her place, fumbling around in the dark to get her clothes off. disappointment at those 5-10 lb of concealed pudge.
How dare she be slightly less skinny than you expected!
she was totally put together in clothes, but had a falling-apart body with a thicker lower half and droopy sad tits
Dude, you are a droopy sad tit.
and this is a girl who works out and is in top 20% of americans her age.
She probably spent most of her next workout session wailing on a punching bag with fists and feet, imagining that it was your sorry ass.
touching her amorphous “spinner” bod, fingering her slimepit. i was so sadly deflated.
No one who uses the phrase “fingering her slimepit” has ever had good sex with anyone.
i felt an obligation to go down on her to prep her for the actual sex. so i did, and it was as awful as i imagined.
Yeah, I can’t imagine it was much of a treat for her either.
there was some acidic/fruity smell emanating, and i essentially used my lower lip to smush against her relatively clean clit, so as to avoid having my tongue come into contact with the main portion of her gaping moist hole.
I can’t imagine her “hole” was either gaping or moist at this point. It was probably trying to sew itself shut.
my dick was floppy and unenthused the whole time despite my having taken a cialis.
Dude, no amount of Cialis is going to fix what ails you, as your problems appear to stem from a giant deposit of toxic sludge in your brain. And where are you getting Cialis from, anyway? Do you go to Donald Trump’s old doctor?
i immediately went into nervous hyper-focus mode as i tried to get the condom on, stroke my dick into readiness, and finger and prep her while angling my semi-flaccid dick for the final insertion. trying not to be awkward while sweating from the prospect of failure.
Here’s me right now:
Onward:
once it was in, i was able to pump for a good long while, but didn’t want to change positions so as not to jeopardize my erection.
i came into the condom and immediately rushed out to clean up. i noticed a thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom and on the upper portion of my shaft.
Dude, you are a thick layer of white slime.
i felt chills and literally shivered with horror as i rinsed off in the shower.
You and me both, dude.
i now have some inkling of why i hate dating so much, and why my standards for women and romance and abstract ideals are so high. it’s because the actual act of sex is so appalling, anything less than perfection in the other areas would fail to compensate
Dude, think for a moment about all the times you’ve had sex. (It shouldn’t take too long.) What do all of these experiences have in common?
That’s right: YOU. It’s not that “the actual act of sex is appalling.” Most people seem to enjoy it. It’s that the actual act of sex WITH YOU is so appalling that you should never, ever do it ever again, both for your sake and for the sake of every woman in the world, so that they don’t have to even imagine what it would be like to have sex with you.
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@not a person with a vagina
Nice mansplaining female ejaculation there. Just based on your general standpoint here and in the past, there’s so much evidence here for my theory of universal misogyny.
@Kupo – Again, I’ve read the comments policy. I don’t see how anything I’ve said violates it.
What on earth am I reading?
Asexuality is not synonymous with “sex-repulsed”. Autistic is not shorthand for “can’t handle stimulation”. And closeted does not equal “subconsciously hates women.”
You don’t need to be repressed, ace, or autistic to be a sex-repulsed, woman-attracted misogynist.
@David, for the love of Mothra, can we *please* get a flag on this play?
@Aaron – Take what you’ve said, then go and actually read the comments policy, then take it up with David if you still wish to violate it.
Cause as it stands, either you have worse object permanence skills and comprehension than a toddler or you didn’t read the comments policy. I’m not in a position to judge which is which, but I’ve got a hunch it’s the latter seeing as you manage to write sentences that are considered grammatically correct.
Well, the comments policy does indeed state that arguments about the comments policy are discouraged, so I will refrain from commenting further.
@Aaron
What kind of productive discussion is created by the speculation of the subject’s orientation or neural condition? Seems like to me that the only thing that got said about it was “hey this guy acts like he’s disgusted by sex! I bet it’s because he’s ace/gay/autistic/etc!”
What is the point of saying that? What does it contribute to the discussion? Is there a further hypothesis that you intend to have follow from that point? (Like that men who are ace/gay/autistic/etc are somehow more likely to be misogynistic dickwads, perhaps?) Is it intended to dismiss the shitty mindset displayed by this poster, since clearly this attitude is just a result of something inherent about him, so there’s nothing that can be done?
Is the discussion that you wish to have just some armchair-diagnosing pastime, where you entertain yourself by discussing/debating which specific trait (gayness, asexuality, autism) is specifically causing this dude to be shitty and miserable and misogynistic and body-shaming?
I’d genuinely be interested in knowing what kind of discussion you’d expect to spring from comments like this, and why you’d think such a thing would be welcome here.
Email I just sent to David. If anyone else agrees please indicate.
@Jesalin
Seconded!
@M K
Sorry, your second post went up while I was typing, and I didn’t edit mine to reflect that.
I’m not around very often, so I don’t know how much importance should be placed on my opinion, but I think that would be very nice language to include in the comments policy. ?
@Jesalin
I nth the recommendation. All my yes. Quite nice. Deserves classy embroidered frame, which I am too unskilled to create.
@thread
Thanks for those of you stridently NOT throwing ace folks under the bus. It is appreciated, because busses are heavy and the Youngs Modulus of the typical human is low, which makes getting run over not fun.
I’ll be blunt: I still think the way my posts are being characterized is inaccurate. I never intended to make any concrete pronouncements about this person’s mental state; you’ll note, for example, that I never said he is asexual, and I don’t necessarily think that’s the case. All I meant was that it seems he has some personal feelings about sex (for whatever reason) that MGTOW has led him to externalize and therefore interpret as women’s objective repulsiveness.
I don’t see how this is any different from observing that (say) many incels seem to be suffering from depression or related mood disorders, and noting that this dynamic shapes their community as surely as their misogyny does.
But I’m clearly in the minority – and I know I don’t comment here regularly – so I’ll apologize for causing a stir, and refrain from any similar comments in the future.
>>>>>What kind of productive discussion is created by the speculation of the subject’s orientation or neural condition?
Well, we’re trying to understand what makes the MGTOWer tick. But the whole discussion misses the point. Lots of men have depression, or are autistic, or don’t like sex; no doubt they’re common in the manosphere, too, but this doesn’t explain much since *only a small minority of depressed or asexual or autistic men join the “manosphere” in the first place.*
What defines the manosphere is the feeling of *entitlement* – that they just *deserve* women’s bodies, and are angry they do not get them. The vast majority of autistic or depressed or asexual men are not like that, of course – the opposite extreme, if anything (i.e. feeling worthless and unworthy of love) is much more common among them.
Ok, so between 100 % and 101%, what are the chances this guy is completely full of shit? He must have had at least a dozen moments between each event in this timeline where he could have just stopped doing what he was doing if it was as intolerable as he wants us to believe, but each time, he took it further instead. It would be like if you went to a restaurant and ordered something that you already know you don’t like, ate the whole thing while complaining about how awful it is, and then ordered seconds.
My theory is that some woman rejected him, and he made up this whole story to mend his bruised ego, one where he seals the deal AND gets to be the one who isn’t interested and symbolically rejects her at the same time. He just reeks of one of those guys who gets rejected and says “whatever, you’re fat and ugly and I didn’t wanna be with you anyway!”, then turns around and tells all his guy friends that he banged her and she was the one who wanted it. For that matter, all MGTOWs are probably that guy.
Aaron, be kind enough to yourself as to stop digging.
@ Aaron
You don’t seem to understand what the problem is, so I’ll try to clarify a bit.
Teachers encourage kids by praising them for expressing very obvious ideas, but as an adult you’re supposed to move past expecting people to be impressed by all your brain farts.
You may have thoughts about what could cause someone to be like this guy, some people instinctively deal with encountering shocking things by intellectualising it and postulating about it and that’s normal. But before accepting your associations as reasonable or saying them out loud, it is good form to challenge them and consider whether they’re worth anything at all, or if they’re actually extremely tired prejudiced tropes every person of a marginalised identity has heard a million times and is sick of, and whether maybe you’ve also heard them a million times, which is why you thought of them.
Seeing someone be awful like this guy and immediately go to speculations of his orientation, mental health or neuroatypicality as an explanation encapsulates the biases of our society in a way that is the opposite of novel, useful, or interesting. It is yet another instance of privileged people distancing themselves from their own evil shit by blaming its victims for it. Us good, them bad, hating someone for being different is bad, so it must be them doing it not us. A failure at even just once condemning horrible attitudes, without also reinforcing them.
Your idea is well worn enough that it doesn’t need to be said even once anymore. Not even with all possible disclaimers. No amount of sensitivity and hedging can make expressing it not bad and dumb.
@Aaron
Intent isn’t magic, as is often said here.
This isn’t a court of law. Weasel words won’t help.
Diagnosing a mental illness over the internet by observing someone’s text-only communications with other people is futile. Speculating is is at best pointless, and is at worse attaching the behavior of some asshole to a group of people who already have a lot on their plate and don’t need the additional hassle of cleaning up that shit as well. So don’t do that.
Also, because it bears repeating,
http://i.imgur.com/M7DgVn7.gif
@M K:
I can speak only for myself, but I find that behaviour rude in just about any forum. Not every comment has to be a pearl of timeless wisdom, of course – Christ knows mine rarely are – but I do need to know, before posting, that I’m not just rehashing a point which has been discussed adequately earlier in the thread. If you just want to react, and can’t be bothered to see what has already been said, you’re implying that your comment and your time are more important than other peoples’. That’s not behaviour which should be encouraged in a blog community.
Bit, well completely, OT; but might be of interest to peeps here nonetheless…
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/feb/24/meet-the-neuroscientist-shattering-the-myth-of-the-gendered-brain-gina-rippon
Oh that poor woman. I actually started remembering American Psycho (book not film) when I read that.
It is hard to comprehend how/ why someone WOULD feel sexual desire if they are so repulsed by sex.
And all the way through his disgust is firmly positioned as HER fault, not his.
I hope fervently that her next sexual encounter is with someone who can treat and respect her as an actual person.
Agree!
@Alan Robertshaw
Oh, well, with comments that include pearls like
It might not be that OT.
OP had a crap one night stand and ran off to his echo chamber to whine about how the sex-object wasn’t perfect and had human things like taste and smell.
Oh, the horror!
Poor baby!
Meanwhile, the woman he had sex with (if it actually happened) chalked the experience up to a waste of time, deleted his number and got on with her life.
Dude, if you’re so disgusted by sex and by human bodies, don’t have sex. It’s not compulsory, you know.
Re: homophobic shit closet remarks
I wholehheartedly agree that there needs to be a post and an update in the comment rules about this. This matter can derail threads and cause unnecessary crap.