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Ruin your weekend with this grotesque “field report” from a MGTOW who had sex

Our thoughts exactly

By David Futrelle

So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.

As you might imagine, this often does not go very well for either person involved. Consider this “field report” posted to the MGTOW subreddit recently by one sex-having Redditor, which may just put you off food and/or sex forever.

Had sex yesterday,” declared the MGTOW man who calls himself nowig.

Was a most disgusting, vile act.

i don’t know why i do this anymore. i really don’t.

None of us know why you do this. Aren’t you supposed to be going your own damn way?

the whole experience was traumatizing and disgusting. she was 26, around 5’2″ and petite.

That poor woman had no idea what she was in for.

making out on a park bench, i was careful to nibble around her mouth. there was something off-putting about her saliva maybe. a slight metallic aftertaste. this is true for the vast majority of girls though: i don’t like the taste.

I’m sure you taste utterly delicious yourself. Astringent, with a delicate aftertaste of bitterness and an entire life wasted.

getting back to her place, fumbling around in the dark to get her clothes off. disappointment at those 5-10 lb of concealed pudge.

How dare she be slightly less skinny than you expected!

she was totally put together in clothes, but had a falling-apart body with a thicker lower half and droopy sad tits

Dude, you are a droopy sad tit.

and this is a girl who works out and is in top 20% of americans her age.

She probably spent most of her next workout session wailing on a punching bag with fists and feet, imagining that it was your sorry ass.

touching her amorphous “spinner” bod, fingering her slimepit. i was so sadly deflated.

No one who uses the phrase “fingering her slimepit” has ever had good sex with anyone.

i felt an obligation to go down on her to prep her for the actual sex. so i did, and it was as awful as i imagined.

Yeah, I can’t imagine it was much of a treat for her either.

there was some acidic/fruity smell emanating, and i essentially used my lower lip to smush against her relatively clean clit, so as to avoid having my tongue come into contact with the main portion of her gaping moist hole.

I can’t imagine her “hole” was either gaping or moist at this point. It was probably trying to sew itself shut.

my dick was floppy and unenthused the whole time despite my having taken a cialis.

Dude, no amount of Cialis is going to fix what ails you, as your problems appear to stem from a giant deposit of toxic sludge in your brain. And where are you getting Cialis from, anyway? Do you go to Donald Trump’s old doctor?

i immediately went into nervous hyper-focus mode as i tried to get the condom on, stroke my dick into readiness, and finger and prep her while angling my semi-flaccid dick for the final insertion. trying not to be awkward while sweating from the prospect of failure.

Here’s me right now:

Onward:

once it was in, i was able to pump for a good long while, but didn’t want to change positions so as not to jeopardize my erection.

i came into the condom and immediately rushed out to clean up. i noticed a thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom and on the upper portion of my shaft.

Dude, you are a thick layer of white slime.

i felt chills and literally shivered with horror as i rinsed off in the shower.

You and me both, dude.

i now have some inkling of why i hate dating so much, and why my standards for women and romance and abstract ideals are so high. it’s because the actual act of sex is so appalling, anything less than perfection in the other areas would fail to compensate

Dude, think for a moment about all the times you’ve had sex. (It shouldn’t take too long.) What do all of these experiences have in common?

That’s right: YOU. It’s not that “the actual act of sex is appalling.” Most people seem to enjoy it. It’s that the actual act of sex WITH YOU is so appalling that you should never, ever do it ever again, both for your sake and for the sake of every woman in the world, so that they don’t have to even imagine what it would be like to have sex with you.

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IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
2 years ago

@Nowherepants

Excuse me what the fuck? For one, asexuality is absolutely an orientation, this is not a debate or discussion, this is a reality.

For two, Speaking as an autist, being overstimulated does not magically transform people into assholes. Painting this person as autistic only highlights a bias you have against autistic folks that you think being an asshole is something neurotypicals do not do freely every fucking day.

For three,

Would Dave have blogged about this if the genders were reversed? That’s the big question.

No it is not. There are no questions to ask. This is a person who didn’t enjoy sex and chose to shame the person he was with and try to present her as horrible. IE, this is a person who’s an asshole. That’s it.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

@Nequam
Very true. I imagine it’s less “speculating on sexuality is sketchy” and more “no homo”

@Nowherepants
So close. Seriously, both of those statements are covered in the comments policy. Smh

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ rhuu

There isn’t a self identified recognisable group of “women going their own way”.

Well I guess there is political lesbianism; but, unlike MGTOWs, they actually just do it; and don’t make their entire raison d’etre harassing men.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

Well I guess there is political lesbianism; but, unlike MGTOWs, they actually just do it; and don’t make their entire raison d’etre harassing men.

Nah, they just hassle other women

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
2 years ago

I suppose i should have clarified with “women going their own way while being the recipients of societal power over men and still blogging about how men are horrible and inhuman”.

But that’s a long acronym. U___U

Viscaria
Viscaria
2 years ago

This guy’s entire thesis is “we were right to (supposedly) cut women out of our lives, because women exist only for sexual gratification and they can’t even do that right.” This is a harmful, misogynistic belief, whether he’s gay or straight or ace or bi, whether he’s neurotypical or neuroatypical, or whether he carries some other marginalized identity that we can use as a scapegoat for his misogyny.

Dude is mad that she’s one of the “””good””” ones, yet she still has a body made of flesh and skin and bones instead of plasticine. He’s mad that her body excretes things, which his body also does, but that’s okay because he’s not just a thing for having sex with. She’s being a sex receptacle the wrong way.

He’s referencing all these things that he chose to do of his own free will, and he’s blaming the fact that he didn’t enjoy them on her for being gross and wrong and gross. It doesn’t matter why he actually didn’t enjoy them. There could be a million reasons. It just matters that he’s using it to justify his belief that women are disgusting lesser creatures.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
2 years ago

RE: Political lesbianism

That’s kind of how it works, isn’t it? When men hate women, they hurt us, invade our spaces, and yell about how much they hate us and how much they want to hurt us cause it helps psych them up.

When women hate men, we step away from them and create spaces where they aren’t allowed to be. It literally does not matter if women or any woman actually hates men, because the hate is expressed in such different ways it may as well be a completely different thing.

But the thing to remember about political lesbians is a lot of them are TERFs, and spend their days hassling other women and pretending we are men.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
2 years ago

And Viscaria hits it out of the park!!!

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I really, really, really, really hate this trend of speculating that assholes are autistic.

Wtf does being an asshole have to do with autism? My brother is autistic and he’s one of the nicest people I know. He’s always the first to volunteer when anyone needs help with something that he’s able to help with. He’s most always polite. He loves animals and they love him right back. When he is inappropriate it’s because he doesn’t understand that he’s being inappropriate and when it’s explained to him that the behavior isn’t proper, he works on it and changes. Which is more than can be said for a lot of neurotypical people. I could never imagine my brother talking about women the way that manospherians do.

So fuck off with the comparison.

LibrayRat
LibrayRat
2 years ago

Long time lurker here.

@nowherepants

Let’s not speculate on if he’s autistic either. He’s a misogynist who hates women’s bodies, this is not due to orientation or neurodivergence. Men like him hate that women are humans with human functions because they want us to be objects.

Knowing that we produce “white slime” or have weird tasting mouths or that our breasts aren’t constantly perky reminds them that we are people, that there is more to our bodies than what is shown in movies and in porn. Men like him dislike the hassle of knowing that we are the same as them, the inconvenience of us not being sex toys.

Hating women and being repulsed and enraged by our bodily functions go hand in hand.

Please, leave autism and all other “explanations” for his hatred out of it.

dashapants
dashapants
2 years ago

I’m pretty sure that even the folks making unfounded speculations about this guy’s orientation or sexuality are not disputing that he’s a misogynist asshole or conflating the two. Their argument appears to be that unable or unwilling to recognize his own wants, he’s projecting his loathing onto his partner as if she were the cause of his own dysfunction (which isn’t a characteristic or result of either his orientation or sexuality, but rather his terrible attitude towards other people, and women specifically).

That being said, I personally agree with Not Edward. I don’t think that this guy is autistic or in the closet or ace or anything. I think that other people are just not properly real to him; they’re partial objects.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

I have never thought of asexuality as an orientation but I suppose it could be.

… What? What did you think asexuality was, if not an orientation? A kind of pudding?

Also, holy cow, ease back on the ableist assumptions.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
2 years ago

@wwth:

I really, really, really, really hate this trend of speculating that assholes are autistic.

Yep. It’s terrible. I keep saying that blaming all the evil in the world on mental disability is fucked up, but people keep doing it, so we’re always in need of another reminder.

Thanks for providing a good one, WWTH.

crip Dyke
crip Dyke
2 years ago

I should have said that Rhuu also did a nice job with that reminder (on page 1). Probably some others I’m forgetting as well.

@Victorious Parasol:

Dude. Sex isn’t a requirement. You can just go your own way and not schtup anybody.

Yeah, this.

When the misogynist says:

i now have some inkling of why i hate dating so much, and why my standards for women and romance and abstract ideals are so high. it’s because the actual act of sex is so appalling, anything less than perfection in the other areas would fail to compensate

I can only think:

If you like dating but dislike sex, there’s this thing you can do where you ask someone cool if they want to have dinner or maybe hang out in a park or maybe go to a movie.

Then you go do that fun thing.

Then you don’t have sex.

Then you do something else.

You can even invite the same person to your next meal excursions or park playdates or cinematic adventure. When you do this more than once it’s called “having friends”.

It’s a thing! You can try it!

Alex
Alex
2 years ago

I’m on the asexual spectrum myself and queer, hence my speculation. I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus, myself included as a demi-sexual queer man. What I am saying is that beneath the rampant misogyny and unrealistic expectations about women’s bodies is what sounds like a deep repulsion at bodily fluids and sexual contact, which, if the dude did some self-reflection, could reveal that his problem isn’t with women, but with feeling obligated to have sex at all.

I agree with people saying the closet case stuff is uncalled for, and the autism armchair diagnosis as well. What I’m trying to get at, albeit poorly, is that this dude might be somewhere on the ace spectrum, from how he describes this encounter, but because he’s bought into toxic masculinity, misogyny, and the idea that power comes from being sexually active, he can’t look at himself and his experience to see if it’s what he really wants, or feels obligated to perform in order to be a normal dude. And that’s what stuck out for me. Beneath that rage and entitlement, there’s something sad and desperate. And if he would allow himself to ask hard questions and reject toxic masculinity to find what he really wants, he could be much happier than this, whatever the reasons for his repulsion at sexual activity.

I’m sorry fellow ace folks felt belittled or damned by association. That wasn’t my intention, but it is on me, and I’ll try to be more clear in the future.

Genjones
Genjones
2 years ago

It’s a bit of a “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” conundrum. Did this ideology whip up this endless drumbeat of hatred pounding in your brain warp your ability to enjoy the most basic of pleasures, or were you always a dysfunctional malcontent who never had the ability to relate to other human beings in a healthy way?

There is something just so profoundly pitiful about this, but some people feel so validated by their own misery it becomes a crutch as much as any other drug.

Boob Tyrant Queen
Boob Tyrant Queen
2 years ago

Honestly I do have speculation on his description and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, mental health, etc

He’s just a douche who assumes he deserves the perfect woman. You can tell from his language in certain parts that he has expectations not many women are going to fit his “unrealistic expectations of women and the abstract romantic ideals” or whatever he said. I have a strong inkling if the woman was basically a living sex doll physically (which parts are not possible to be ) he wouldn’t have posted this

Kevin
Kevin
2 years ago

Well there’s definitely some problem there, quite possibly coming from the guy’s attitude. I don’t know how much attitude can affect sexual dysfunction, but he did say he took a stiffy pill and wasn’t satisfied with its effects.

Susan
Susan
2 years ago

@Alex, I was thinking that the misogynist’s appalling lack of self awareness was what you and some other early posters were trying figure out with the various diagnoses. (Though not the autism one, based on the rest of their comment). I confess I was thinking something similar to what you posted and I am very grateful that other commenters pointed out how that was problematic. And good on you for explaining yourself gently without getting defensive and accepting the criticism. The world could learn a lot from the Mammoth commenters. I know I always do!

Nowherepants
Nowherepants
2 years ago

I’m on the asexual spectrum myself and queer, hence my speculation. I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus, myself included as a demi-sexual queer man. What I am saying is that beneath the rampant misogyny and unrealistic expectations about women’s bodies is what sounds like a deep repulsion at bodily fluids and sexual contact, which, if the dude did some self-reflection, could reveal that his problem isn’t with women, but with feeling obligated to have sex at all.

FTR I have autism. And sometimes, autistic people try to be honest and voice their opinions but have bad timing and/or use the wrong choice of words and come across as “assholes”. I agree with you that his problem isn’t women. But some people do have a strong aversion to bodies(other than their own) and bodily fluids. Most humans are sexual creatures and cannot imagine how someone could find sex in general to be repulsive.

The thing about a person like this is that no amount of moral condemnation of his words or his attitudes is going to make him change. You just have to avoid paying attention to folks like this so long as they don’t violate the rights of others(which he did not do. the sex was consensual).

Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
2 years ago

I don’t know how much attitude can affect sexual dysfunction

Quite a lot.

If a person is having, or attempting to have, sex with a person that they:
a) expect to be absolutely flawless physically
and
b) also consider that person to be a sub-human sex dispenser
and also
c) have a metric shit-ton of toxic pre-concieved notions
There is going to be quite a lot of sexual dysfunction.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The reason misogynists express revulsion at women’s bodies is because the smells and fluids remind them that we are human, not pretty objects. They absolutely hate that. They feel entitled to think of as sterile non-human fuck toys. Everything in our culture supports it. Women are told we aren’t supposed to ever let on that we go to the bathroom, have periods, need to blow our noises sometimes, have body hair etc. Most men who date women eventually make peace with the fact that we don’t roll out of bed looking and smelling perfect all the time because they like their partners beyond just the superficial. Extreme misogynists don’t get past it because they just plain don’t like women.

I don’t even think some of this exaggerated revulsion some of these men express is even sincere. I think it’s a performance. He can humblebrag about he had sex but still slam women for being disgusting horrible creatures. How many misogynists covered on or commenting on this site claim that they can smell our dirty vaginas from across the room? Spoiler alert: they can’t. The disgust with us is all meant to both perform for their fellow misogynists and make us feel bad. It’s that simple. No need to speculate about orientation, disability or mental health.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

FTR I have autism. And sometimes, autistic people try to be honest and voice their opinions but have bad timing and/or use the wrong choice of words and come across as “assholes”.

FTR, he’s an asshole because he expects women to fit his very specific (and unrealistic) physical standards and because he’s a MGTOW, not because of any misunderstanding of social cues or other ASD traits. And diagnosing him as such is both against the comments policy and unfair to your fellow autists, so cut it out.

The thing about a person like this is that no amount of moral condemnation of his words or his attitudes is going to make him change. You just have to avoid paying attention to folks like this so long as they don’t violate the rights of others.

Ignoring the people who have extreme hatred towards me and pretending like they don’t exist is a good way to get myself or others like me killed. And in case you hadn’t noticed, you’re commenting on a blog dedicated to mocking people like this. I’m not sure why you think just ignoring him is the correct response, here.

Luzbelitx
2 years ago

Now I’m left wondering if this is what was goning on whenever I had one night stands that turned out to be a terrible lay.

I really never dwelled on it, which is kind of the point of a one night stand. But what if…

Allandrel
Allandrel
2 years ago

As another person on the autism spectrum I have to agree that this guy’s issues are rooted in misogyny and being an asshole, not any possible autism. And contrary to what Big Bang Theory keeps telling us, being autistic does not equal being an asshole.

I have sensory issues (particularly touch aversion) that give me some sexual disfunction, and didn’t have sex until I was 38, and my few sexual encounters have been very awkward. But I recognize where those problems are coming from, rather than blaming my partner’s existence. If he is autistic, it has nothing to to with his being an asshole.

As for him possibly being ace or gay, I agree let’s not go there either. For one thing, my understanding and experience of sexual orientation is that it’s far more a matter of interest or disinterest than disgust – I have no interest in men, but they don’t physically repulse me the way that this guy described his reaction to his unfortunate partner.

On the difference between MGTOWs and lesbian separatists/TERFS (heavy Venn overlap), IgnoreSandra hit it on the head. Mean who hate women organize and hurt women, while women who hate men… organize and hurt (trans) women. They’re manifestations of the same issues rather than mirror images.

Nowherepants
Nowherepants
2 years ago

Come to think of it, now that I actually read the account in depth it is so extreme and over the top. For instance:

touching her amorphous “spinner” bod, fingering her slimepit. i was so sadly deflated.

This sounds as if it were written by H P Lovecraft describing a sexual encounter. Quite likely a teenager wrote this. Especially with the atrocious disregard for punctuation. I seriously doubt this encounter ever occurred beyond the authors imagination.

BlueNinja
BlueNinja
2 years ago

Why did this guy even bother…? It sounds like an evening ‘indulging’ in some good old introspection and self reflection, actually taking some time to start figure himself out and what he might actually be into, would have been a far more satisfying time.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

The reason misogynists express revulsion at women’s bodies is because the smells and fluids remind them that we are human, not pretty objects. They absolutely hate that.

And Jonathan Swift was making fun of it 300 years ago:

And first a dirty smock appeared,
Beneath the armpits well besmeared.
Strephon, the rogue, displayed it wide,
And turned it round on every side.
On such a point few words are best,
And Strephon bids us guess the rest,
But swears how damnably the men lie,
In calling Celia sweet and cleanly.

[…]

Hard by a filthy basin stands,
Fouled with the scouring of her hands;
The basin takes whatever comes
The scrapings of her teeth and gums,
A nasty compound of all hues,
For here she spits, and here she spews.
But oh! it turned poor Strephon’s bowels,
When he beheld and smelled the towels,
Begummed, bemattered, and beslimed
With dirt, and sweat, and earwax grimed.

[…]

The petticoats and gown perfume,
Which waft a stink round every room.
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!

[…]

His foul imagination links
Each Dame he sees with all her stinks:
And, if unsavory odors fly,
Conceives a lady standing by:
All women his description fits,
And both ideas jump like wits:

[…]

I pity wretched Strephon blind
To all the charms of female kind;
Should I the queen of love refuse,
Because she rose from stinking ooze?
To him that looks behind the scene,
Satira’s but some pocky queen.
When Celia in her glory shows,
If Strephon would but stop his nose
(Who now so impiously blasphemes
Her ointments, daubs, and paints and creams,
Her washes, slops, and every clout,
With which he makes so foul a rout)

As an equal opportunity satirist, Swift also mocks women in the poem, but it’s still a pretty nice takedown of men who don’t realize that the gorgeousness they admire is the product of several hours dressing and makeup, and that women sweat and have bowel movements.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room

M K
M K
2 years ago

Okay, who let the fucking MGTOW into the sex vault

(kidding)

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

Most humans are sexual creatures and cannot imagine how someone could find sex in general to be repulsive.

Hi!

There are absolutely people who find the thought of sex repulsive. I’m not one – I’m pretty asexual but not out of a sense of revulsion. But I know plenty who are. It’s absolutely a thing.

There is a brighter rainbow in the flower of humanity than any of us could possibly imagine.

Laurel
2 years ago

I just read this on Jezebel, “most outrageous one night stand stories,” right before reading this post, and these sex stories are truly night and day in how it’ll make ya feel.
So smile again everyone! Sex doesn’t have to be amazing to be good, it just needs to be positive.
The story:
The semester I went for study abroad, I ended up living in a house with three Swedish models. Every cliche ensues-they are bitchy, they routinely backstab each other, they’re slobs, none of them are very bright. I am not very attractive and I am very academic-nerdy, and the whole semester unrolls like a terrible reality show.
The plus side of living with them is that they (and by extension me) get invited to a ton of crazy parties. At one of these cool-kid parties near the end of the semester, I spot an absurdly hot guy, and it must have been obvious I was checking him out because my roommates give me an immediate reality check- “That’s X, he’s the hottest guy any of us have seen in real life, and we’ve all tried to get with him and he’s not interested in any of us, so he’s definitely not going to be interested in *you*.”
I sat on that for a while, and then decided “Fuck you, bitches!” and because even plain, shy girls have nights when they’ve Got It Goin’ On, I went right up to him. To this day I have no idea why, but I opened with some reference to the Aeneid (I warned you I’m nerdy), and that guy looks at me like I’m Christmas and his birthday all wrapped up in one package. Turns out he’s double majoring in Latin and Classics and has a serious thing for the epic poets. He looks like a male model and he’s an incredible athlete, so nobody ever expects him to- or pays attention when- he says anything smart or academic. We spend the next couple hours talking/drinking/dancing, after which he more or less throws me over his shoulder and carries me out of the club and back to his apartment. I caught sight of my roommates as we left- standing there open-mouthed, shocked that their ugly roommate is leaving with the Adonis. It was like a scene from a movie and perfect for that alone.
The sex was 100% satisfactory but not epic, and for a number of reasons I snuck out of his apartment before he woke up and didn’t leave my number. I still remind myself about that story whenever I’m feeling particularly unattractive or down on myself!

If only incels would do the same.

M K
M K
2 years ago

@ this MGTOW, in all seriousness:

Dude, it sounds like you’re not into women, physically.

You may be sex-repulsed and/or on the asexuality spectrum, period, or you could just be into other genders besides women, or even just prefer people who don’t have vaginas (so, actually, maybe some women too, sometimes).

(Your brain has apparently decided that your orientation is women’s fault, but that’s a whole other issue.)

But either way, you clearly aren’t attracted to women, so stop trying to make sex with them work. It’s not fair to them and it’s a waste of your time, too.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
2 years ago

The political lesbianism reminded me how, when men are angry, they hurt women, and when women are angry, well, they hurt other women too. There’s no symmetry in thoses things. Guess it’s the same reason for which 100% of the non-white racist I have seen hate on non-white.

On the subject of the blog post, I have a vague feeling that he actually get excited by describing how horrible it is. Might be me projecting, of course.

M K
M K
2 years ago

(I scrolled up in the thread, and for the record, I’m not trying to speculate extensively on this guy’s orientation or anything else about his identity or position in society, or shift the focus toward ace men or gay men and their lack of sexual attraction to women.

I’m just viscerally reacting to how grossed out this guy seems to be about…a normal human [cis and perisex, presumably] woman’s body.

And how just weird it is that his philosophy is predicated on being entitled to that body, when it seems like he himself doesn’t even actually want it.)

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

@M K
Seriously, there’s nearly two pages of comments asking people to NOT DO THAT

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

What did you expect? *Of course* someone who considers women subhuman and evil will find sex with them disgusting. Assuming the whole story isn’t a figment of an angry virgin’s imagination.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@LibrayRat
Welcome!

@Nowherepants

Quite likely a teenager wrote this. Especially with the atrocious disregard for punctuation. I seriously doubt this encounter ever occurred beyond the authors imagination.

Most MGTOWs are middle-aged men and they talk just like this. Disregard for punctuation is not limited to teenagers. Poorly describing sexual encounters is not limited to people who don’t have sex. Seriously, stop speculating about why this guy wrote this. It’s because he hates women. He’s a MGTOW. It comes with the territory.

Not that I expect someone with their own deep-seated misogyny to accept misogyny alone as an explanation of poor behavior.

Nowherepants
Nowherepants
2 years ago

@kupo:

STRAWMAN.

Just because I disagree with the general consensus and expressed an opinion you didn’t like doesnt imply that I hate women.

I am not defending this guy. I’m being honest that I don’t believe his story.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

Nah, kupo brought the receipts. No strawmanning

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

I for one am sick and tired of mansophere jerks blaming their problems on “autism”. No, you’re not alone because you’re “socially awkward”; you’re alone because you’re a misogynistic asshole.

As for men who find sex disgusting, or want to be without women for whatever reason, they always existed: in monastaries, the army, among fishing buddies, in chess clubs (traditionally mostly male), among old badhelors in men’s clubs, etc. Who ever said you *must* have sex with women if you don’t want to?

But people in, say, a chess club *play chess*; they don’t go on and on about how *happy* they are they are *not* having sex with those *evil* women. If such a chess club had existed, what would you think about its members – that they’re without women because they prefer chess, or because they’re jerks?

M K
M K
2 years ago

@ Bakunin:

Frankly, I don’t really ever read the entire comment thread before commenting because I usually don’t care, I just want to react/riff. Especially since as you said, it was literally two pages of comments.

I just happened to be scrolling this time, and realized the existing discussion added a bad context to my reactive comment that I hadn’t intended, so I wanted to try to head that off.

I don’t really see the point of dumping on me after I realized my mistake, but go off, I guess. Unless your comment is in response to the “wtf dude you don’t even like women” comment I posted, in which case yeah, I am sorry about that.

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

The reason misogynists express revulsion at women’s bodies is because the smells and fluids remind them that we are human, not pretty objects. They absolutely hate that.

In some cases, maybe. But the thing is that this guy also expresses disgust at his own sexual fluids. (“A thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom.”) I’m not really interested in armchair psychoanalysis, but it does seem like his revulsion is in large part directed toward the sex act itself.

So I suppose I’d just advise him not to have sex. Or if he’d like to have sex but can’t get past these hangups, maybe he could try seeing a therapist.

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

I also have to say that I don’t agree with this idea that we can’t look at this post from any perspective other than a feminist one. Mandating that we see this person’s rant as purely “misogyny” is frankly asinine and just stifles discussion. Misogyny can be expressed in many forms and it can come mixed in with all sorts of other motivations. I understand why we might want to avoid speculation that he’s closeted. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with noting that in addition to whatever misogyny he might be expressing, he also appears to be fundamentally uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, for whatever reason. Which is fine, but I think if he recognized what is to me very obvious, he might be a happier person.

I don’t think that’s against the comments policy, but if I have misread it, feel free to let me know.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

In some cases, maybe. But the thing is that this guy also expresses disgust at his own sexual fluids. (“A thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom.”) I’m not really interested in armchair psychoanalysis, but it does seem like his revulsion is in large part directed toward the sex act itself.

So I suppose I’d just advise him not to have sex. Or if he’d like to have sex but can’t get past these hangups, maybe he could try seeing a therapist.

I had assumed that the ‘white slime’ was her fluids, not his, ie, he got vaginal fluids on him above the condom, not uncommon, and that was guh-ross because he seems to think women should not have bodily fluids.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

I also have to say that I don’t agree with this idea that we can’t look at this post from any perspective other than a feminist one.

Then why come to a feminist space?

But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with noting that in addition to whatever misogyny he might be expressing, he also appears to be fundamentally uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, for whatever reason.

Other than it being gross to throw people (ace, autistic, etc) under the bus and being against the comments policy?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I had assumed that the ‘white slime’ was her fluids, not his, ie, he got vaginal fluids on him above the condom, not uncommon, and that was guh-ross because he seems to think women should not have bodily fluids.

That’s how I interpreted that too. After all, he referred to her vagina as a ‘slimepit.’

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

Other than it being gross to throw people (ace, autistic, etc) under the bus and being against the comments policy?

I’m not throwing anyone under the bus. There’s nothing wrong with not being interested in sex, or in being autistic. But in my opinion, it is very possible that this person’s unexamined issues with sex and sexuality have commingled with his misogyny – and I think it’s also possible the latter might be keeping him from coming to a clearer understanding of himself.

Or maybe I’m wrong. But regardless, this is not the same thing as “blaming” his possible asexuality (or whatever) for his misogyny.

(Similarly, I think I think many MRAs, manosphereans, incels, etc. are probably suffering from untreated depression, and are more or less using these communities as extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms. I do not think this in any way stigmatizes those with depression.)

That’s how I interpreted that too. After all, he referred to her vagina as a ‘slimepit.’

Fair enough – I may have misinterpreted that line.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@Aaron
Seriously. Comments policy. If you have a problem with it, discuss it with David.

Nowherepants
Nowherepants
2 years ago

I had assumed that the ‘white slime’ was her fluids, not his, ie, he got vaginal fluids on him above the condom, not uncommon, and that was guh-ross because he seems to think women should not have bodily fluids.

Read this article about female ejaculation.
Vaginal ejaculatory fluid has much lower viscosity than semen. It is generally clear-ish. Also, female ejaculation does not occur 100% of the time during orgasm.

And what kind of man describes his own fucking cum as a thick layer of white slime(*that had accumulated past the condom)??? AS IF he never jerked off before, had an orgasm and ejaculated! A He describes ejaculation as if he has never heard of it or seen it before…nd that the reason folks why I don’t believe his sexual escapade occurred outside of his imagination.

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

Rabid Rabbit – thank you for that! It was one of the things I thought of when skimming the OP (briefly, I have food in my stomach).

There’s also a prose piece I vaguely recall, in which Young Man and Young Woman have agreeable intercourse in a leafy glade. Afterwards, YW excuses herself, and shortly after YM hears the sound of liquid hitting vegetation. He suddenly realizes that she’s urinating, and is seized with utter consternation.

Some of these accounts by heterosexual men make me think of g0ys, gay men who are so revolted by anal sex in any capacity that they not only don’t partake themselves but revile any man who does. Some of them even forswear fellatio and restrict themselves to frottage.

Finally, assuming that the account in the OP is true and accurate, I’d really like to hear the woman’s description of what must have been a singularly disappointing encounter.