By David Futrelle
So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.
As you might imagine, this often does not go very well for either person involved. Consider this “field report” posted to the MGTOW subreddit recently by one sex-having Redditor, which may just put you off food and/or sex forever.
“Had sex yesterday,” declared the MGTOW man who calls himself nowig.
Was a most disgusting, vile act.
i don’t know why i do this anymore. i really don’t.
None of us know why you do this. Aren’t you supposed to be going your own damn way?
the whole experience was traumatizing and disgusting. she was 26, around 5’2″ and petite.
That poor woman had no idea what she was in for.
making out on a park bench, i was careful to nibble around her mouth. there was something off-putting about her saliva maybe. a slight metallic aftertaste. this is true for the vast majority of girls though: i don’t like the taste.
I’m sure you taste utterly delicious yourself. Astringent, with a delicate aftertaste of bitterness and an entire life wasted.
getting back to her place, fumbling around in the dark to get her clothes off. disappointment at those 5-10 lb of concealed pudge.
How dare she be slightly less skinny than you expected!
she was totally put together in clothes, but had a falling-apart body with a thicker lower half and droopy sad tits
Dude, you are a droopy sad tit.
and this is a girl who works out and is in top 20% of americans her age.
She probably spent most of her next workout session wailing on a punching bag with fists and feet, imagining that it was your sorry ass.
touching her amorphous “spinner” bod, fingering her slimepit. i was so sadly deflated.
No one who uses the phrase “fingering her slimepit” has ever had good sex with anyone.
i felt an obligation to go down on her to prep her for the actual sex. so i did, and it was as awful as i imagined.
Yeah, I can’t imagine it was much of a treat for her either.
there was some acidic/fruity smell emanating, and i essentially used my lower lip to smush against her relatively clean clit, so as to avoid having my tongue come into contact with the main portion of her gaping moist hole.
I can’t imagine her “hole” was either gaping or moist at this point. It was probably trying to sew itself shut.
my dick was floppy and unenthused the whole time despite my having taken a cialis.
Dude, no amount of Cialis is going to fix what ails you, as your problems appear to stem from a giant deposit of toxic sludge in your brain. And where are you getting Cialis from, anyway? Do you go to Donald Trump’s old doctor?
i immediately went into nervous hyper-focus mode as i tried to get the condom on, stroke my dick into readiness, and finger and prep her while angling my semi-flaccid dick for the final insertion. trying not to be awkward while sweating from the prospect of failure.
Here’s me right now:
Onward:
once it was in, i was able to pump for a good long while, but didn’t want to change positions so as not to jeopardize my erection.
i came into the condom and immediately rushed out to clean up. i noticed a thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom and on the upper portion of my shaft.
Dude, you are a thick layer of white slime.
i felt chills and literally shivered with horror as i rinsed off in the shower.
You and me both, dude.
i now have some inkling of why i hate dating so much, and why my standards for women and romance and abstract ideals are so high. it’s because the actual act of sex is so appalling, anything less than perfection in the other areas would fail to compensate
Dude, think for a moment about all the times you’ve had sex. (It shouldn’t take too long.) What do all of these experiences have in common?
That’s right: YOU. It’s not that “the actual act of sex is appalling.” Most people seem to enjoy it. It’s that the actual act of sex WITH YOU is so appalling that you should never, ever do it ever again, both for your sake and for the sake of every woman in the world, so that they don’t have to even imagine what it would be like to have sex with you.
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I’ve seen a lot of Mammoth posts I couldn’t quite finish, but this one I couldn’t even start. I just know it would make me vomit.
@Eddie
I read it. You aren’t missing anything.
@Valentin
You are appreciated here.
Speculation about orientation or desire is gross and pointless.
I don’t particularly enjoy sex myself (I’m a dem bordering to asexual) but even when I had it, I wouldn’t describe it with that much bile. Then again, I actually love my partner and share their happiness, so I’m not all alone and miserable in my own disgust.
The body-shaming language did seem like a tipoff that maybe misogyny was the guy’s real problem.
“Well DUH”, right?
First-time commentator here. I’ve been learning quite a bit from you folks by browsing several threads. I appreciated that part.
Then I tumble onto a story about Lobster Boy and a rape-positive victim-blamer showed up and it effed me up…
His is a consumer rights complaint: his basic issue is that his experience on purchasing Sex With A Woman™ did not match the product specifications as advertised on whatever porn sites he’s into.
The sad part is that all the things he is complaining about are all the things that reminded him that here was a separate person from himself, with a body different from his and with her own unique smell and taste and feel*. I say this is sad because it is exactly experiencing and exploring this otherness which is the reason why actual sex is (or should be) infinitely better than the jerking off to internet porn he obviously prefers.
*Noticing that the woman also had her own thoughts and emotions too would have been advanced level giving a sh*t about other people which he obviously isn’t ready for yet.
I think the problem here is really rather simple: He’s trying to fuck a lady he’s not actually attracted to. I’m not sure why he’d expect that to turn out well.
I mean, they’re kissing and it doesn’t rev his engine. Well, why are you proceeding, then? Why are you going home with a woman you don’t like? Why are you fucking someone who doesn’t turn you on?
Why would you expect that to be anything other than awkward and uncomfortable?
Basically, he’s making bad decisions and they’re predictably leading him to feel bad. The answer is to make different decisions.
While this is purely personal, I cannot for the life of me imagine being this turned off by sex, unless you’re just not into it with the person in question. I also wonder why he went through with it, if it was so terribly gross. If you’re really that much of an assertive male with a solidly grounded centre, couldn’t you just have, y’know, not had sex if you weren’t into it.
I’d actually love to know his partners perspective. Must have been a hoot…
And let’s not speculate on him being confused about anything other than basic humanity towards women.
Because turning down free sex with a real live woman would mean he was a soyboy beta cuck, of course.
Sadly, the social norms among men reinforce that men are supposed to be “ready to go” at all times, with pretty much anything that moves, is feminine, and has a hole, and if a man doesn’t then at best he’s a sissy beta, and at worst … gay or something.
So, we can chalk up this awkward and uncomfortable encounter (for both parties, no doubt) to toxic masculinity. Which the Redditor would rant and rail doesn’t exist if he read this, no doubt. 🙁
@Surplus: I know and agree, I guess I was being rhetorical or something.
@ Lucas @ Escapist
I think he doesn’t really get the concept of being “into” or desiring another person at all. He wasn’t interested in sex with the woman concerned as such – what he wanted was to “do sex”, and the woman was a tiresomely necessary piece of equipment he had to acquire to enable him to do so – equipment which he has decided must have been defective because the experience turned out not to be as he expected.
Person unable to have fun with their own genitals and who is not giving any fun to another person’s genitals, should probably leave the genitals alone for a while.
Person unable to like another person appears also unable to like themselves. – but to love complaining and projecting their failure onto other people.
Probably needs to deal with the latter before attempting to overcome the former.
Sounds like he’s caught in the crossroads of toxic masculinity, telling him that as a man he must have sex and want sex as much as possible or he’s a loser and not a real man; and purity culture, telling him that sex is something dirty and unclean (and so is the woman he’s having sex with, if she isn’t his wife (and maybe even then)).
Good grief. If you don’t wanna have sex, DON’T.
Hi everyone. First time commenter here, who recently discovered this blog and just today started paying attention to comments, so pardon me if I’m breaking some etiquette.
That being said, you are all utterly wrong about this guy. His post is not about him being asexual or grossed out by bodily fluids, or in closet. It’s about him being a “sex god”.
I’ll try to keep things simple because English is not my native language. If I sound condescending it’s because I’m trying to avoid digression and overly long sentences.
There are certain fetishes among straight man related to female orgasm, but actually centered around make sexual proves. For this situation relevant are fetishisation of natural vaginal secretion, a.k.a. grool or girl drool. In short, story goes that if you are the best of the best of the best fuckers you will be able to make a girls’ VJ drool profusely. Just to make it clear grool is several orders of magnitude above being wet, and often called female ejaculation among such sexually frustrated and insecure males. Insecure about their sexual proves, that is.
The central image of his fairy tale is of his member when he pulls out. He, the author, wishes to paint himself as the ultimate fucker, sex god who can make random girl grool even when he’s not even trying to satisfy her. But not just that, oh no. He paints self as so much gone his own way that he is unaware of the fact that he is physical embodiment of sexual god. He’s so nonchalant about the fact that he brought random chick to the top of the tops, to the highest levels of orgasmic hights.
TL/DR: That is just a fake story from a guy who is insecure of own ability to satisfy a woman, with which he wants to invite images of him being best fucker there is, in minds of equally insecure men.
Disgust at opposite-sex genitals =\= attraction to same-sex genitals.
This seems like standard right-wing disgust sensitivity. Biological disgust translates into moral disgust (same phenomenon at work w/ describing immigrants as vermin, parasites, dirty, criminals, etc.), and that’s the root problem here. I’m too afraid to click on the link, but I’d bet dollars to doughnuts the comments are full of MGTOWs speculating on STDs, how many dicks she’s had, etc.
The whole thing reads like some odd version of the old “doctor, my arm hurts when I do this” joke. If there were somehow whole groups of men banded together in Men Whose Arms Hurt When They Do That (MWAHWTDT) groups. Because they preferred to complain about how unfair the universe is that their arms hurt when they do that, rather than just proceding to the punchline.
@Buttercup
At great personal risk, I took that bullet. Surprise, you aren’t wrong, on either guess. Shocker.
You all know what actually is a shocker? Couple of the comments went on the same “vagina gross, must be gay” garbage, AND THERE’S PUSHBACK FROM MGTOWS. Even MRAs know that trope is shitty.
So I’m making an active effort to get a little less pudgy recently, in part because I didn’t totally like how I looked in a dress and in part as a side effect of generally improving some of my health choices. Once you’re getting to that “5-10 pounds of extra pudge” he’s talking about, it’s a LOT of sacrifices you have to make to see that go away. I would not personally expect anyone to cut back on enjoyable things to the level I have (don’t worry sugared soda’s hole in my life has been filled with fabulosity).
This is a very sad story. The guy is a jerk, but I can’t help but feel sorry for him. His reaction to sex and the female body seems like the reaction of a person with some unaddressed emotional issues. I also feel really bad for his partner. She must have noticed his reaction and I am sure that didn’t feel good at all.
I hope he gets counseling and the woman he was with finds someone who appreciates her.
(de-lurking)
Hmm, reminds me of John Ruskin.
@ribblefizz: Uhhhhh, No. Just because a man doesn’t like sex does not imply that he’s gay. This guy sounds to me like he’s asexual. Society puts a lot of pressure on men to prove themselves by having sex with women. AS IF it’s not okay just to be single and celibate. Futrelle sounds offended that this guy did both enjoy his sexual experience and expressed his strong opinion that sex is disgusting.
@Bakunin: I imagine MRAs are actually just fine with that trope– until it’s used on them.
@nowherepants
Maybe we don’t need to speculate about this person’s orientation at all. Like, what is happening in this comment section right now.
@Viscaria: Fair enough. However, he gives me the impression that sex is unappealing to his senses and he is disgusted by it. I have never thought of asexuality as an orientation but I suppose it could be.
I wonder if he is autistic. People with autism have sensory issues and sex is a masssive stumulation of the senses.
Would Dave have blogged about this if the genders were reversed? That’s the big question. And all the bros were shaming him for not enjoying sex with a woman. He was not obligate to go down on her. Makes me wonder if she pressured him into it.
@nowherepants: ummmmmm? UMMMM?
A) yes, asexuality is an orientation. You’ve learned something today.
B) DO NOT GUESS IF SOMEONE IS AUTISTIC????!!!???!!?!?
*Resets the counter on how many days it has been since i had to say: “misogyny is not a mental illness, a sexual orientation, or anything else.”*
Like, what the actual fuck, friend?
What even is this? No, David probably wouldn’t have blogged about a reverse situation. You know why? There isn’t a self identified recognisable group of “women going their own way”.
OP was not obliged to do *any* of this, and yet he did. Almost like there was a script that he felt he hd to follow, or be thought of as less of a man or something.
What would make you think she ‘pressured’ him into it????