By David Futrelle
On Saturday. The Guardian posted a story called “Me and My Vulva,” looking at photographer Laura Dodsworth’s attempt to, as writer Liv Little put it, tell “the stories of 100 women and gender non-conforming people through portraits of their vulvas.” The Guardian featured some of these portraits alongside interviews in which the vulva-havers in question discussed their complicated feelings about their own vulvas and vaginas.
Well, it turns out that some cis men have complicated feelings about vulvas as well, feelings so complicated that they can’t quite believe that the word “vulva” is a specific word, with a specific meaning, that’s worth including in sentences from time to time.
Enter one overconfident fellow called Paul Bullen, who offered what he saw as a correction to the Guardian’s headline:
Since the correct word was in fact “vulva” — Dodsworth’s photos are pictures of the external genitalia — a number of Twitterers stepped up to correct his correction.
One of the correctors was San Francisco OB/GYN Jen Gunter, an actual world-famous expert on, you know, that whole area down there, and the media’s go-to Gwyneth Paltrow-debunker when the actress and would-be wellness maven tries to convince those with vaginas to do things like steam or stick rocks in them, both of which are evidently very bad ideas. Dr. Gunter has literally written the book on vaginas, or at least a book, titled The Vagina Bible, which will be out in August.
Dr. Gunter tweeted:
Here’s the link, by the way.
But Bullen, like many men in similar situations, refused to accept his defeat, and simply kept going, suggesting that those who refused to accept his “correction” were simply a bunch of vulva snobs.
Er,”euphemism treadmill psychology?”
Er, I’m pretty sure that the Vagina Monologues involved considerable discussion of things going into vaginas so I’m going to say no to that.
When it came to Dr. Gunter’s quite specific expertise on this issue, Bullen evidently felt it was outweighed by his confidence as a man with opinions on the internet.
He’s using an awful lot of words to basically say: “Ok, the ‘correct’ definition I used isn’t actually correct, according to the dictionary, but since people use the word incorrectly a lot this incorrect usage is actually the correct one and all you correcty-pants people are actually incorrect with all your fancy correctness, I am very smart.”
Ultimately, THE DICTIONARY ITSELF (or at least Dictionary,com) felt compelled to intervene, noting that the word “vulva” is indeed the correct word for the external genitalia — which is, again, what
Dodsworth’s photos depict.
Bullen wasn’t fazed by all the talk of dictionary definitions because, in his mind, he’s smarter than the dictionary too.
When some critics accused him of mansplaining, he tried to mainsplain mansplaining to them:
Dr. Gunter gently corrected him on that:
She also reiterated the rather basic point — which Bullen seemed unable to grasp — that the photos in question were photos of vulvas, not vaginas.
Last night I felt compelled to weigh in myself:
None of this — not even my especially brilliant tweet — stopped Bullen from endlessly repeating his point, and the, er, “debate” went on and on and on until, only a few hours ago, Bullen finally decided to stop posting on the subject.
In case you’re wondering if Paul Bullen has bad opinions on any other subjects aside from the correct use of the terms “vagina” and “vulva,” the answer is yes.
Bullen has also recently retweeted white nationalist congressman Steve King, white nationalist “journalist” Faith Goldy, and the white nationalist website VDare. You may notice a trend here. Not that Bullen would necessarily agree that any of these white nationalists are in fact white nationalists. Indeed, he has already used his powerful MAN LOGIC to convince himself that King has never said anything even vaguely white supremacist-ish.
But there’s more! Turns out Bullen is one of those people who contends that the Covington Catholic students photographed several years ago wearing blackface were not wearing blackface.
But, hey, at least his love life is going well:
I don’t know if Bullen has yet managed to make contact with either this woman’s vulva or her vagina.
H/T — To all those who tweeted funny stuff about this, including @Chinchillazllla,, @TakedownMRAs and @mistressmatisse.
We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
@Crip Dyke
… OMFG.
*dainty gagging noises*
@Von Ragnar
For a highschooler, that’s annoying. It’s when those same cishet white dudes grow up and write laws that it becomes less ‘annoying’ and more ‘life-destroying’ for a lot of people.
@epitome: I love your technical terms
@Ariblester: I think you’re onto something!
@Cat Mara: But only when the women themselves are attractive to straight men. If they look too “unfeminine” lesbians get assaulted by straight dudes. Shame nobody smacked those cishet broentists with some hate crime statistics
@Buttercup
PREACH
@Lumipuna you have my vote for internet of the year
@Crip Dyke, Re Bullen Date:
@ crip dyke
Oh gawd, I so wish he’d said something like “a woman could never beat a man in a fight”. I imagine he’d have ended up in casualty having a breadstickectomy.
@The PhD. Who Had the Misfortune Of Going On A Date With Said Ball Puller:
Congrats on the PhD, I’m so sorry, and YOU GO!!!! <3 <3
@Crip Dyke
Nicely done, thanks for the chuckle.
Mansplaining mansplaining? Reminds me of the time a dude on Reddit Not All Men-ed my Not All Men statement.* It was surreal.
*I declared scepticism over the “men think with their boners therefore don’t wear condoms” idea, mentioning that plenty of men do wear condoms once hard and some even change their minds about having sex. Reddit Dude then proceeded to accuse me of implying that men who do think with their boners must then be lying when they make that claim, and there are men who think with their boners because Not All Men are the same.
@Alan Robertshaw:
Now you have me thinking we should write a series about Jessi Bourne, literal social justice warrior whose fights always feature everyday objects that just happen to be conveniently nearby when a sexist, harassing or rapey jerkface tries to start something.
“Breadstickectomy” is my new go-to term for what happens to a dude who got slaughtered after provoking a woman on a date.
Also, germane to the (general) subject:
http://www.sabinabecker.com/media/where-is-the-clitoris.jpg
Well, damn. I thought my photo posted. Let’s try this again:
http://www.sabinabecker.com/media/where-is-the-clitoris.jpg
oh wow I would TOTALLY buy that on Amazon <3
Well, shit. Looks like the Comment Mammoth eats my photos and poops on me.
An 8% tip? So much for men being good providers…
Ugh, what an obnoxious nitwit. By the second response, third at most, you just want to kick him in the shins. That’s somehow not “mansplaining”? I’m sorry, Mr. Bull[crap], you tried to correct an article written and photographed by women, about women, and largely for women and thought it was right to tell them/women what to call their/our lady junk. That is the HEIGHT of arrogance.
I don’t care what the more commonly used word is, or that society feels certain genital names feel weird to say — and make your “feels” uncomfortable to use them, Mr. Bullstuff — I still grew up, right here in America, taught that the outside has a different name and is in fact correctly used here.
@Bina:
I can see the same photo in both comments. Could it be your device?
Oh wow Crip Dyke; I would read the shit out of that!
And then try out all the moves in real life to see if they work ’cause that’s what I’m like; I always do that.
One Wyle E Coyote box set and I can be limping for days,
@ Crip Dyke
OMG! That was so great! Why did you happen to pick French literature? I have my doctorate in French literature. I was teaching Moliere TODAY!
@sunnysombrera:
I’m trying to work out what Reddit Dude meant, and failing utterly.
@Crip Dyke:
I bow in awe. Hopefully, no passing MRAs will snap a photo of me doing so to prove that this is what feminism is aiming for. (Wait, it’s OK for me to put you on a pedestal for a moment in reaction to your having written something, isn’t it?)
@BlueNinja:
Assuming he actually looked at the pictures, and I’m in two minds as to whether he did – on the one hand, free pictures of ladybits! On the other, oh gawd, not all of them are porny! – I wonder how he reacted to the one which he presumably would think belonged to a man. Ladybits! On someone I can’t acknowledge is a lady! But I can’t tell the difference! I didn’t realize they were ladybits-shaped manbits until I read the text! Save me, Jordan Peterson!
Perhaps I’m being unfair. After all, nothing in the tweets David’s posted shows he’s transphobic, and one shouldn’t just make assumptions. (Wow. I can’t believe I managed to type that with a straight face.)
@Who?
There’s no evidence that he’s notably (or at all) competent in his field either.
@Susan:
Honestly, it was mostly random, but it was also a subject I knew just the tiniest amount about, so I could fake a knowledgeable character reasonably well. There aren’t THAT many disciplines in which I can do that. French lit and the history of feminism are two. I have expertise in feminist ethics which requires some level of knowledge about the development of feminism, but nothing like my historian peers. French lit? Well, I used to be able to speak french (very out of practice) and was advanced enough to take a couple 300/400 level classes in college. Never actually studied Moliėre, but I have seen his plays on several occasions and did try to read some in the original once. That lasted about 20 minutes. My failures are thus represented more directly in the sexist character than any real knowledge is represented in the PhD character.
I’m excited that you teach Moliėre! I wish I could take your class!
If I ever wanted to speak french competently again, I have decided that I’m going to start by reading popular baby books, and work up from there. There are so many cultural references that start out in children’s literature that I find myself woefully deficient in idiom and really need to start over from scratch. I honestly wish my early french lessons were like that (I went to a school where French lessons began in 2nd grade and in 5th grade we had all-french immersion-esque classes for about 3 hours once per week).
In the meantime, though, I can make my way through Harry Potter in french. I just can’t speak creatively worth a damn and don’t follow the news in Quebec or France closely enough to understand much of the french-language news reports I get from the CBC. Even just watching TV shows & movies the language mostly goes by too fast for me these days. I really wish I’d kept up after college.
OT: Holy shit. The cops actually acknowledged misogyny as a factor in the yoga studio shooting. https://www.thestar.com/news/world/us/2019/02/12/police-yoga-studio-shooter-was-disturbed-hated-women.html
@Crip Dyke
second weirdest two words I’ve typed out today but okay. Would you suggest taking French over Spanish? I have to take a foreign language next semester and I’ve been leaning more towards French.
@Lainy:
If you’re in Canada, I recommend French. In the USA, I recommend Spanish. If you’re looking for the easier language, I recommend Spanish. If you’re looking for the harder language, French.
If your criteria are otherwise, I’m not sure what to recommend. I personally love the French language, but in many cases in the USA Spanish is more practical.
@Rabid Rabbit:
I accept the bow as acknowledgement of a particular accomplishment, rather than some obeisance to some aspect of my being. As for the anti-feminists catching us in a moment they can twist out of recognition? Who cares. They’ll twist anything they want anyway. Feminists don’t have to actually do anything bad to get demonized. Might as well forget we’re being watched & have some fun.
@Crip Dyke, I think that must be it. My computer is probably playing me strange again.
It used to be so reliable…sob…
Spanish is likely to be a sight more useful for a Yank; I basically never have call to use French, I’d’ve rather have studied Spanish.
@ Crip Dyke
Thank you. I’ve been leaning more towards English because I think it sounds so beautiful and that is where my family comes from so it was a bit of heritage basically.
@Crip Dyke
After the baby books, move on to comic books, especially the classic ones. The language is understandble, but on a much higher level than people might expect. Astérix, for instance, will teach you how to pun in French. (But stay away from the newer ones, they’re terrible.)