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Vulvagate: When mansplaining goes so wrong the dictionary itself has to step in

No vulva, only grapefruit

By David Futrelle

On Saturday. The Guardian posted a story called “Me and My Vulva,” looking at photographer Laura Dodsworth’s attempt to, as writer Liv Little put it, tell “the stories of 100 women and gender non-conforming people through portraits of their vulvas.” The Guardian featured some of these portraits alongside interviews in which the vulva-havers in question discussed their complicated feelings about their own vulvas and vaginas.

Well, it turns out that some cis men have complicated feelings about vulvas as well, feelings so complicated that they can’t quite believe that the word “vulva” is a specific word, with a specific meaning, that’s worth including in sentences from time to time.

Enter one overconfident fellow called Paul Bullen, who offered what he saw as a correction to the Guardian’s headline:

Since the correct word was in fact “vulva” — Dodsworth’s photos are pictures of the external genitalia — a number of Twitterers stepped up to correct his correction.

One of the correctors was San Francisco OB/GYN Jen Gunter, an actual world-famous expert on, you know, that whole area down there, and the media’s go-to Gwyneth Paltrow-debunker when the actress and would-be wellness maven tries to convince those with vaginas to do things like steam or stick rocks in them, both of which are evidently very bad ideas. Dr. Gunter has literally written the book on vaginas, or at least a book, titled The Vagina Bible, which will be out in August.

Dr. Gunter tweeted:

Here’s the link, by the way.

But Bullen, like many men in similar situations, refused to accept his defeat, and simply kept going, suggesting that those who refused to accept his “correction” were simply a bunch of vulva snobs.

Er,”euphemism treadmill psychology?”

Er, I’m pretty sure that the Vagina Monologues involved considerable discussion of things going into vaginas so I’m going to say no to that.

When it came to Dr. Gunter’s quite specific expertise on this issue, Bullen evidently felt it was outweighed by his confidence as a man with opinions on the internet.

He’s using an awful lot of words to basically say: “Ok, the ‘correct’ definition I used isn’t actually correct, according to the dictionary, but since people use the word incorrectly a lot this incorrect usage is actually the correct one and all you correcty-pants people are actually incorrect with all your fancy correctness, I am very smart.”

Ultimately, THE DICTIONARY ITSELF (or at least Dictionary,com) felt compelled to intervene, noting that the word “vulva” is indeed the correct word for the external genitalia — which is, again, what
Dodsworth’s photos depict.

Bullen wasn’t fazed by all the talk of dictionary definitions because, in his mind, he’s smarter than the dictionary too.

When some critics accused him of mansplaining, he tried to mainsplain mansplaining to them:

That’s an incorrect use of the word mansplaining. :-). Not that I want to legitimize the term, but by its own definition it requires more than just having just a man who is explaining something. Even if some in the audience are women.

Dr. Gunter gently corrected him on that:

She also reiterated the rather basic point — which Bullen seemed unable to grasp — that the photos in question were photos of vulvas, not vaginas.

So @paulbullen here is where you mansplained to me — the correct use for the article was vulva, the common use vagina could not have applied here as it was specifically about loving vulvas and not a general lower repro tract article

Last night I felt compelled to weigh in myself:

None of this — not even my especially brilliant tweet — stopped Bullen from endlessly repeating his point, and the, er, “debate” went on and on and on until, only a few hours ago, Bullen finally decided to stop posting on the subject.

In case you’re wondering if Paul Bullen has bad opinions on any other subjects aside from the correct use of the terms “vagina” and “vulva,” the answer is yes.

Bullen has also recently retweeted white nationalist congressman Steve King, white nationalist “journalist” Faith Goldy, and the white nationalist website VDare. You may notice a trend here. Not that Bullen would necessarily agree that any of these white nationalists are in fact white nationalists. Indeed, he has already used his powerful MAN LOGIC to convince himself that King has never said anything even vaguely white supremacist-ish.

For example, it was obvious to me that King did not say anything in support of "white supremacy." All we have to do is assume that King is rational. It took a an application of the principle of invidiousness to construe what he said that way.

But there’s more! Turns out Bullen is one of those people who contends that the Covington Catholic students photographed several years ago wearing blackface were not wearing blackface.

But, hey, at least his love life is going well:

I don’t know if Bullen has yet managed to make contact with either this woman’s vulva or her vagina.

H/T — To all those who tweeted funny stuff about this, including @Chinchillazllla,, @TakedownMRAs and @mistressmatisse.

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Von Ragnar
Von Ragnar
5 years ago

Deary me… that’s the biggest sea lion I saw in a while.

TBH, I used to be like this guy during high school… not necessarily in viewpoint, but in that “I’m wrong, but you rather squeeze water from a stone than concession from me” way of discussing things. And now I want to retroactively punch myself in the face, for how I annoying must’ve been back then.

It just makes me wonder, does guys like Paul Bullen never got past this stage? Like, they never look at themselves and thing “man, I’m making ass of myself here”?

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Jumping catfish! I’d like to be as confident about anything as Bullen seems to be about everything.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

Excuse me while I rage at laypeople being arrogant about medical terminology.

*loud screaming follows for approximately 1 hour*

personalpest
personalpest
5 years ago

So much to comment on here!

1. Is Paul Bullen a gynecologist, or some other variety of medical professional? If not, why does he think he’s more qualified to talk about vulvas and vaginas and stuff than an actual OB/GYN? Oh right, male privilege is a hell of a drug. Never mind!

2. Now there needs to be a band named Vulva Snobs.

3.Why do I have a sudden craving for grapefruit? And I’ll never think of the vestibule in my apartment building the same way again…

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
5 years ago

Sometimes I think the term “mansplaining” is over used / incorrectly used but buy oh boy was that an epic example of it!

Karen
Karen
5 years ago

Let me go back a bit and say, I can’t even with this.

Bina
5 years ago

Bullen has also recently retweeted white nationalist congressman Steve King, white nationalist “journalist” Faith Goldy, and the white nationalist website VDare. You may notice a trend here.

Why yes, I do! He’s not only politically incorrect…he’s incorrect in all things, period! So much so that even Dictionary.com had to step in and correct him, and he STILL doesn’t want to give…

Honestly, what would we do without him? I know I’d be laughing at…well, one less all-around doofus and fucking idiot, anyhow.

PS: “Baul Pullen” is going to be my go-to phrase for any man who is so hellbent on mansplaining that he’ll just dig his hole deeper instead of making an effort to climb out.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
5 years ago

@Victorious Parasol:

I don’t feel quite the same way about legal terminology, but when people actually try to define legal terms and get them wrong, THAT’S when my head starts spinning 1080 degrees and I start puking ALL THE LAW at them.

There was a time over on Pharyngula when someone was talking about “hate speech” and how Jordan Peterson was totally right that Canada’s federal Parliament’s bill C-16 totally makes pronoun use illegal (wrong – the explanation is long, however) and how you could be convicted of discrimination as a result of C-16 (wrong – you can only be convicted of crimes, you can be found liable for civil violations) and how a court case in the UK showed the risks of Bill C-16 in Canada because the UK and Canada are “related jurisdictions”.

I’m far from some international expert in these topics, but yeah, my law school days included a focus on
1. The Canadian Charter of Rights & Freedoms
2. Human Rights legislation in Canada
3. Comparative constitutional law,
4. Statutory interpretation, and
5. The actual laws of the actual country named “Canada”.

Without picking someone who had had a chance to actually litigate cases on these issues (which I have never done), he could hardly have picked a worse rhetorical opponent.

But that was okay, he said, because he had “nothing to learn” from lawyers, because they always have different opinions, therefore what Jordan Peterson said was surely right – or if it wasn’t then at least no one on the internet could possibly know for sure that it was wrong.

I barfed out about 150 comments on him.

tim gueguen
5 years ago

I’m betting that if he hasn’t done so already Bullen will sooner or later claim that he is not a racist, but a “race realist.” Which is a distinction with no actual distinction.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

“In normative usage, ‘vagina’ refers to the entire woman, inductively, ecclesiastically, orthotically, and equatorially. The narrow anatomical definition is only for doctors.”

Chris Oakley
5 years ago

What do these things have in common?

1)Patrick Mahomes’ QB rating

2)The current value of the North Korean won

3)Jefferson Davis’ approval rating after Gettysburg

Answer: they’re all higher than Paul Bullen’s IQ.

Bina
5 years ago

@tim gueguen:

I’m betting that if he hasn’t done so already Bullen will sooner or later claim that he is not a racist, but a “race realist.” Which is a distinction with no actual distinction.

If he does the “I’m not a racist, I’m a racialist” thing, I swear I will drink all the beers in my pantry.

Shadowplay
5 years ago

So … you could say he kept Bullen through?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
5 years ago

I believe the normative use of the term “asshole” is applicable here rather than the medical one, as is the genus definition of bullshit instead of the species one…

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
5 years ago

1/1

2/2

3.

4.

That’s not how numbering your tweet threads works. That’s not how anything works.

Brian
Brian
5 years ago

thank you, Tabby Lavalamp! I was coming down to the comments to rail about precisely that.

epitome of incomprehensibility

?

I was on Twitter instead of working and I read through most of this. I do not regret it. (Welllllll, I skipped most of Bullen’s tweets and read the replies. Life is short.)

Another subset is “vagina” in the narrow sense.

Wait, I thought manosphere types were concerned about loose ones? ?

A DISCOURSE ON PRIVATE PARTS with sexily nested parentheses:

I didn’t know what the word vulva meant until I was in my late teens. As a kid, I was taught that “labia” meant the front part, down to just underneath where the peehole (highly technical term) resides. It was the thing you peed with, equivalent to the penis. (This wasn’t the exact meaning – “labia” just means the vulva’s outer and inner folds (named after the Latin word for lips… so, don’t worry, a “labial” consonant isn’t a queef (highly technical term)).)

I learned “vagina” – and that I had one – only in fifth grade during the 1st sex-ed class. It didn’t seem too important to me at the time. I was stuck more on “I’ll have blood coming out of there each month? Yuck!” and “Maybe boys have it worse – they have to use the same body part for peeing and sex, which must be embarrassing.”

I probably heard “vulva” in that class but I didn’t really remember it.

Thing is, it’d be easier to have a word for the whole area that is a) colloquial and b) not “ladyparts” (cis-centric and sounds silly, IMO). Hell, I don’t mind “pussy” – I find it cute and potentially sexy – but high-profile icky comments, like Trump’s “grab ’em by the pussy,” are less-than-happy associations.

…Was that longer than Paul Bullen’s combined tweets? Probably not. 😀

ThatGuyWithThe3DS
ThatGuyWithThe3DS
5 years ago

Everything I know about female anatomy comes from bad fanfiction, and even I know this guy is thoroughly wrong.

@VonRagnar- yeah, I was the same for a while, but that was me being a teenager. Some people never grow out of it, I guess?

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
5 years ago

I wonder if he went to look at the “Me and my penis” story and found something to complain about there, too.

I assume that the breast one would have disgusted him by showing non-porny ones.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

@Tabby, @Brian
No, you’re wrong.

Allow me to explain Paul Bullen’s remarks in terms a layperson can understand. Baal Pullyn cannot make his own remarks clearly understood because he is too smart to be able to do that sort of thing.

1/1 There is the right way.

2/2 There is the wrong way.

3. There is the Pawl Bullin way.

Numbers 1/1 and 3 might intersect, although this is highly unlikely. Numbers 2/2 and 3 might intersect — a safe bet. The important thing to remember is to always, always follow number 3, the Bawl Pullin’ Way.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago
Megpie71
5 years ago

I’d wondered what that knocking noise on the bottom of the floorboards was…

(context is in Australia, with me, hoping someone finally took Mr Bullen’s shovel from him).

Ariblester
Ariblester
5 years ago

Holy Hell, is this Desperate Ambrose’s Twitter persona? Will it also disappear if I don’t look at it?

Lainy
Lainy
5 years ago

I’m just gonna say it. Grapefruit is only good if you dump a shit ton of sugar on it and then that defeats the purpose of having fruit in the first place.

Snowberry
Snowberry
5 years ago

Wow, a reverse language pedant. You don’t see that every day.

Normally they’d be all “don’t use a good enough common-use definition when a technical one is more accurate”. This one is “don’t use a more accurate technical definition when a common-use definition is good enough”.

Though I suspect that he’s just a regular language pedant who initially thought that “vulva” was a slang term or something (based on his bringing up the subject of euphemism treadmills) and is trying to rewrite the conversation so that he was never wrong.

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