By David Futrelle
On Saturday. The Guardian posted a story called “Me and My Vulva,” looking at photographer Laura Dodsworth’s attempt to, as writer Liv Little put it, tell “the stories of 100 women and gender non-conforming people through portraits of their vulvas.” The Guardian featured some of these portraits alongside interviews in which the vulva-havers in question discussed their complicated feelings about their own vulvas and vaginas.
Well, it turns out that some cis men have complicated feelings about vulvas as well, feelings so complicated that they can’t quite believe that the word “vulva” is a specific word, with a specific meaning, that’s worth including in sentences from time to time.
Enter one overconfident fellow called Paul Bullen, who offered what he saw as a correction to the Guardian’s headline:
Since the correct word was in fact “vulva” — Dodsworth’s photos are pictures of the external genitalia — a number of Twitterers stepped up to correct his correction.
One of the correctors was San Francisco OB/GYN Jen Gunter, an actual world-famous expert on, you know, that whole area down there, and the media’s go-to Gwyneth Paltrow-debunker when the actress and would-be wellness maven tries to convince those with vaginas to do things like steam or stick rocks in them, both of which are evidently very bad ideas. Dr. Gunter has literally written the book on vaginas, or at least a book, titled The Vagina Bible, which will be out in August.
Dr. Gunter tweeted:
Here’s the link, by the way.
But Bullen, like many men in similar situations, refused to accept his defeat, and simply kept going, suggesting that those who refused to accept his “correction” were simply a bunch of vulva snobs.
Er,”euphemism treadmill psychology?”
Er, I’m pretty sure that the Vagina Monologues involved considerable discussion of things going into vaginas so I’m going to say no to that.
When it came to Dr. Gunter’s quite specific expertise on this issue, Bullen evidently felt it was outweighed by his confidence as a man with opinions on the internet.
He’s using an awful lot of words to basically say: “Ok, the ‘correct’ definition I used isn’t actually correct, according to the dictionary, but since people use the word incorrectly a lot this incorrect usage is actually the correct one and all you correcty-pants people are actually incorrect with all your fancy correctness, I am very smart.”
Ultimately, THE DICTIONARY ITSELF (or at least Dictionary,com) felt compelled to intervene, noting that the word “vulva” is indeed the correct word for the external genitalia — which is, again, what
Dodsworth’s photos depict.
Bullen wasn’t fazed by all the talk of dictionary definitions because, in his mind, he’s smarter than the dictionary too.
When some critics accused him of mansplaining, he tried to mainsplain mansplaining to them:
Dr. Gunter gently corrected him on that:
She also reiterated the rather basic point — which Bullen seemed unable to grasp — that the photos in question were photos of vulvas, not vaginas.
Last night I felt compelled to weigh in myself:
None of this — not even my especially brilliant tweet — stopped Bullen from endlessly repeating his point, and the, er, “debate” went on and on and on until, only a few hours ago, Bullen finally decided to stop posting on the subject.
In case you’re wondering if Paul Bullen has bad opinions on any other subjects aside from the correct use of the terms “vagina” and “vulva,” the answer is yes.
Bullen has also recently retweeted white nationalist congressman Steve King, white nationalist “journalist” Faith Goldy, and the white nationalist website VDare. You may notice a trend here. Not that Bullen would necessarily agree that any of these white nationalists are in fact white nationalists. Indeed, he has already used his powerful MAN LOGIC to convince himself that King has never said anything even vaguely white supremacist-ish.
But there’s more! Turns out Bullen is one of those people who contends that the Covington Catholic students photographed several years ago wearing blackface were not wearing blackface.
But, hey, at least his love life is going well:
I don’t know if Bullen has yet managed to make contact with either this woman’s vulva or her vagina.
H/T — To all those who tweeted funny stuff about this, including @Chinchillazllla,, @TakedownMRAs and @mistressmatisse.
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I loved this post — I had thought we’d reached peak mansplaining, but watching this unfold on Twitter, I was transported to new heights of WTF.
I’m commenting for an unrelated reason, however — where can I get a print of that lovely grapefruit you used for the featured image? TinEye and Google failed me.
@ dust bunny:
“Doesn’t matter to him that literally one thinks vagina is a dirty word.”
I think you meant “no one” in which case Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown would beg to differ.
As would her colleague, Rep. Mike Callton, who said “What she said was offensive. It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company,” before prohibiting her from speaking on the floor of the House for “violating decorum.”
Her crime? Finishing her arguments against a restrictive abortion bill with, “And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'”
She later pointed out that “If they are going to legislate my anatomy, I see no reason why I cannot mention it.”
Short version: “You’re right, but I’m talkative.”
@Crip Dyke, et al:
I’m also in the ‘I don’t use French enough anymore to be much good with it’ camp. That said, I’ve got a collection of Bande dessinée of various sorts at home. (I had a certain fondness for Philémon, a series of stories set on an alternate world in which the letters ‘Océan Atlantique’ on the map were actual islands where magical things happened. It tended to break the fourth wall often, such as one scene where the reason the donkey couldn’t move forward was because the next panel had fallen over, so Philémon had to step out past the boundary of the panel he was in, grab the next panel, and lift it back up. Apparently the witch in the next panel had a concoction explode and knocked it down.)
Me, I then took German as a third language in high school. I remember even less of that now than I do of French. I learned more about the English language in my German class than I did in my English class.
It kind of fits, given that English is this weird Romance-Germanic hybrid.
(And I’ve heard elsewhere that Spanish is easier to learn than French. Doesn’t surprise me, given the whole Norman history; there was a lot more Germanic influence on French than there was on Spanish.)
When I was at school, back in the mists of time, we were assured that, of the languages on offer to us native English speakers, the order of difficulty, from easiest to hardest, was Spanish, French, German, and Latin. I don’t remember finding German noticeably harder than French, so I’m not sure what that was about. I’m a little annoyed that there weren’t more choices: looking back, I’d like to have tackled Chinese while my brain was still flexible enough to make that a possibility.
Ok, so who here wants to sign up for his mailing list?
https://twitter.com/AmberBobamber/status/1094990522530320384?s=19
@justsaying
A) it might be how some people use it, but it’s an incorrect usage for anything but the actual vagina. But setting that aside, when women around you are using that term, are you sure they’re referring to their vulva, or are you assuming? Because I can’t think of many contexts in which a person’s vulva is a topic of discussion, but vagina is something that can come up more often.
B) this is why we need comprehensive sex ed.
@Dali
There is, in fact, ample evidence that he’s complete shit in his field (as a former member of said field, he makes me embarrassed).
@Kupo:
Omg you’re right…
Linguistics is his field… and he truly is complete garbage in it, wow…
I love your site, David, thanks for all your hard work on this stuff.
@kupo:
That exact comment applies to so many of the things that get posted here…
@kupo:
That exact comment applies to so many of the things that get posted here…
@CripDyke: I love 99% of your Jessi Bourne story, but I have to say that the part where she tries to make sure that Gerald goes permanently blind creeps me out. Sorry.
That’s a fair criticism.
Lainy says:
The better choice is always the language that you feel will give you access to something you can’t get without speaking some of that language. Then you’ll have rewards beyond a certain number of credits to motivate you. Interacting with people who speak that language (either in meatspace or online) can help too.
Also, French is only harder than Spanish where spelling is concerned. Like English, it takes a lot of memorization to learn to write correctly. Though, unlike English, it’s fairly easy to read. (If you have loads of time and want to learn the most difficult writing system in the world, take Japanese.)
~*~*~*~*~
Speaking of motivation and foreign language learning, I have a student who normally doesn’t care much for English class, but he put in several times his usual effort yesterday.
The kids were writing very simple sentences about what events they’re looking forward to in junior high school. Halfway through writing time, this student hadn’t even started. I asked him which event he would choose, and he said he couldn’t decide between the school trip and sports day. I showed him he could write both and connect them with “and” if he wanted. Even though it made for more writing, he definitely wanted to do that and got to it right away. Success!
The commenter who said he would have corrected the article if it had said “vagina” instead of vulva has basically nailed it.